“John!” she screamed above the booming static-like crackles coming from the Negaflux and Atomik Fields rejecting one another. “Stop!” She shut down the Heatomatic and ejected Nuklear Man from the Scientific: Observation Room into the room below.
Atomik Lad touched down. His field dispersed but his anger did not. He stormed up to Ima. “What the hell were you doing?!”
She straightened her hair, glasses, and lab coat while answering. “Atomik Lad, your concern for Nuklear Man is admirable, but I can assure you that he was in no danger. I had meticulously set up dozens of failsafes to insure his safety. I am a doctor, after all.”
“But—”
“I know he appeared to be in pain, but he was never in any real danger.”
“Where is he now?”
“Ejected into the cold room below. He should be cooled off now.”
“Then what were all those warning lights about?”
“Oh, the equipment. We were pushing everything to its limit at the end there.” She glanced at her console. “If we extend our findings here this morning, assuming that the Curve of Degradation continues along the same exponential rate until oblivion, Nuklear Man couldn’t possibly survive an environment over thirteen million degrees Celsius. Of course, he’s still effectively invulnerable since only stars and other fusion reactions are that hot and I don’t know of any villains with access to nuclear missiles or the sun’s core.”
“But that doesn’t make sense. He got his powers
from
a nuclear meltdown, like a hydrogen bomb. Those are closer to a hundred million degrees, so why would only thirteen million kill him?”
Dr. Genius looked at the ceiling and thought for a moment. “Well, in nature, certain seeds need fire in order to be properly fertilized and grow. But that same fire would kill the adult tree. So, like them, the very nuclear fires that gave birth to Nuklear Man, could just as easily bring about his demise.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Atomik Lad cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for, um. For flying off the handle like that.”
“Don’t worry, John. I should have kept you better informed about the test. Speaking of which, I think its time you made your way to the next Scientific: Observation Chamber.”
“Right.” Atomik Lad left the room on his way to his own testing facility.
Shiro walked in dizzy circles after the sidekick.
Nameless Technician approached Ima. “That’s enough excitement for at least the next week as far as I’m concerned.”
“This is science, m’boy. This is adventure!”
Nameless smiled. “What’ll we do with all that heat we’ve still got in the Scientific: Observation Chamber here?”
“Hm, sell it to the city power grid.”
__________
Meanwhile, in the -272 degrees Celsius room, Nuklear Man shivered. “It’s frickin’ freezing in here. Stupid thermodynamics, slowin’ down my atomic oscillation. I’ll show you!” He snatched a random molecule out of the air and squeezed it between his thumb and pointer finger with all his Nuklear Might. A glow emanated from between his digits after a second. “C’mon you little lousy so-and-so, Nukie needs a new pair of shoes!” And then a massive fission chain reaction was set off, vaporizing ten square miles of downtown Metroville.
Is what would have happened if Nuklear Man hadn’t simply absorbed most of the blast which was not quite hot enough to bring harm to him. Yay. The end effect was that the Cold Room was now quite comfortable. See: “Ahhhhh,” the Hero basked all comfy. “Eh, guess I better find Sparky before he jinxes my chances with Ima by blundering around like some kind of blunderer…er.”
__________
Minutes later, Atomik Lad found himself standing alone in one of the Scientific: Observation Chambers while Dr. Genius, a bored Nuklear Man, and a still dizzy Shiro were looking at him through its Negaflux window. “So explain this to me,” the sidekick requested.
“Again?” Dr. Genius asked, flicking a glance at him over her thin glasses.
“In English this time?”
“Ah. Well, basically, when you had that outbreak during Nuklear Man’s test, it occurred to me what your Atomik Field could be. That’s what this test will help determine. See?”
He scratched his nose. “Yes and no. Especially the no.”
“Based on your Field’s history, especially it’s close affiliation with your emotional state, I believe it may actually be your KI field.”
“Interesting.”
“That’s why I could never detect any important changes in your own KI when your powers were activated, it
is
your KI, it’s always there. And when it’s completely manifested into our own world, nothing can get past it that you don’t allow. It’s essentially your very soul.”
“Sounds better than the old ‘no idea’ explanation I used to get. And I guess that makes sense. But that still doesn’t tell me why you’ve got me in here.”
“KI detection gets the best results when there’s multiple interactions with other KI fields.” Smoke began filling Atomik Lad’s room through the ventilation shafts. “And that’s why we have to introduce billions of these alien particles into your environment.”
Atomik Lad coughed. “But if everything has a KI field, then why can’t you just use the normal air particles and stuff floating around in here?”
The lights over him turned off. “Because when I turn on the KI scanning laser, the smoke’ll make it look really cool. Now turn on your field.”
“Righto.” In front of the young hero, a wide dispersal laser-light began sweeping across him and Ima was right, for it was a very cool effect indeed.
Ima scanned the results.
“What’s the verdict, Doc?” Atomik Lad asked while waving smoke from his face.
“Seems I was partially wrong,” she said. “Your Atomik Field is in fact
a
KI field fully realized in our own universe, but I’m not sure if its
yours
. Most of the information seems identical, but its arranged differently.”
“Kinda like those protons you mentioned before?”
“Somewhat, yes. The thing is, they do share one identical pattern though, which I’ve never seen before.”
“What, sharing patterns or the shared pattern itself?”
“Both. I’m not sure what to make of that. Like most of sequences, it’s unmapped, so I don’t know what it corresponds to. It’ll require more testing.”
“I wonder how I could be more bored,” Nuklear Man huffed. “Oh wait, I’ve already reached the Point of Maximum Boredom in Boringtown, the capital city of Boringania, the largest country on the Boredoma continent on planet Boringia IV while being crowned King Bored during the National Boring Day Parade of Boredom.”
“Ugh. Guess we’re done here, Doc.”
“Not quite yet. Don’t you boys want your treat?”
Atomik Lad clawed at his face. “How did that moron get the Treaty Clause appended to the Hero Act?”
“Yay!” Nuklear Man exclaimed as he shot through the corridors of Überdyne heading toward the cafeteria. “Pie!”
“Pie?” Shiro’s queasy coloring dissolved, replaced by the happy killer samurai warrior visage he normally wore. He struck a match against the floor and brought the flame to the tip of a fuse that stuck out from the rocket strapped to his back.
“ROCKETOO TIIIIME!!!” he screamed with all the force his little lungs could produce. In a flash, the giant firecracker took off. A trail of smoke spiraled after it. Shiro stood there, still posing in pre-flight glory, with a confused look on his face. He trotted along after his propulsion system.
__________
Meanwhile, in the suburbs outside Metroville, a lovely young lass opened her front door a crack and peeked into the too-bright morning light with one suspicious eye. Her cold gaze froze on the particularly absurd image of two tiny legs sticking out of her birdbath. She sighed and shut the door. She undid the chain lock, opened the door all the way, and flowed into the morning air, her fine black hair wafting like an aroma behind her. She held a letter addressed to “Nuklear Boob, c/o Nuklear Man, 1 Irradiated Road” in one hand and a clipboard in the other. Her lithe steps took her to the mailbox where she deposited the envelope. She examined her clipboard and put a check next to the “Step One: Mail Evil: Letter via USPS Super Speedy Same Day Delivery,” printed in large black letters across the center. She turned around and floated back to her front door, stopping first at the birdbath. “Are we having a
little
trouble?” she asked it.
The legs quaked and the birdbath exploded, causing Angus to land on his head, causing him to quake even more, causing him to fall over, causing anger, causing him to leap to attention. “AUGHK!” he finally responded.
“Why don’t you buzz off, you mini-hero?”
“That wasna a goood idea, lassie. Now ye made me angry!”
“I fear for my anklez.”
“That does it!” he roared. “DWARF-A-PULT!!!”
“Why are you wearing bagpipes on your stomach?”
“YYYYYYYEEEEEEARGHBLBLB—nuts.” Angus disappeared somewhere over the Pub District of Metroville.
She rubbed her hands together maniacally. “Oh, my dear Atomik Lad and Nuklear Oaf, how you shall rue the day you crossed Dr. Menace!” She burst into a brief fit of evil laughter before composing herself. “You shall be destroyed thanks to my incredible intelligence. And the poztal service. But moztly my incredible intelligence!”
__________
Issue 31 – The Terrible Secret of Rachel
From the Personal Notes of Dr. Ima Genius
Today’s results were puzzling if nothing else. I feel that these sessions leave me with more questions and no answers, but that’s science for you. For all we know, we may have the answer right in front of us, we just haven’t stumbled upon the correct question yet.
It seems my hypothesis that Nuklear Man can somehow rewrite his own KI Field in order to meet the demands put upon him is valid. During last month’s Strongometer test, his Intrinsity Sequences for strength continually increased to match the efforts of our incredibly expensive giant arm wrestling machine. That is, until he surpassed it and tossed the entire device through the window and into a back alley. This morning’s Heatometer tests gave us similar results. The ease and immediate nature of his KI alterations, not to mention the range to which they extend, are nothing short of miraculous. It’s almost as if his field is somehow sentient and acts on his behalf, but that notion is absurd. If only it were possible to learn about his physiology through conventional means, it would make this so much easier. But due to his invincible nature and electromagnetic metabolism, ordinary medical procedures are wasted on him. If not for that, we could cross reference KI results with genetic samples, run simulations in the Überdyne 4000 series computers, compare them to the other heroes.... I mustn’t waste my time wishing for things to be easier. I have to forge ahead with this Intrinsity Theory. It is only in its infancy.
It seems as though I may have finally found a measurable limit to at least one of Nuklear Man’s powers. His field showed a state of decay at eight million degrees Celsius. The interference increased at a linear rate, as is typical of any KI change, however approximately eleven million degrees. The rate of field instability became exponential at that point. The experiment had to be shut down immediately. As unprecedented as this was, I could not afford the risks of pushing any further. I may have gone too far as it was. Ah, ludicrous science is such a fine line between brilliance and murder. There has never been an exponential rate of change in any KI experiment until this morning. I can only begin to speculate the reasons for and implications of this event. Was it due to Nuklear Man’s innate ability to freely rewrite his own KI? Was it the extreme environment we were dealing with--millions of degrees is on a cosmic scale, no human was ever meant to tolerate that much punishment, perhaps it triggered some latent effect. Was it something else? Some unknown, unaccounted, or ignored factor in the experiment? Why exponential? Why at eight million? Shouldn’t it have been much higher since Nuklear Man’s Plazma energy is 98.6% identical to highly concentrated sunlight? Questions, questions, questions...
As if I didn’t have enough of these impenetrable questions, there was Atomik Lad’s session. I finally determined why his KI doesn’t change when he uses his Atomik Powers: the Atomik Field is a KI field itself, but not John’s as I had first guessed. It exists completely independent of his own. But the most promising result was what I found between the two: both the Atomik Field and John’s KI field share a sequence match. The exact pattern in the exact coding region. I am trying not to jump to conclusions, but I believe this may be a very definite first step in unlocking the Golden Pattern. We’ve never found an exact match before, only similar patterns in nearby regions. Like the differences between two random humans and a pair of twins. The former couple will be roughly the same in a general sense whereas the latter are identical to one another. For example, though the KI fields of any two oranges will share many similarities, and even a few identical sequences, none of the information, similar or same, is in the same place in the two fields. Intrinsically speaking, each orange is a little different. Perhaps this is what keeps all oranges—-and indeed everything—-separate entities, their slightly yet distinctly different KI fields.
A shared sequence. Another first with no clues as to where to go next. Typical. In the meantime, we’re running the Atomik Sequence through our computers to find any matches with existing KI readings to see what sort of connections we can make, if any. Questions, questions, questions.
__________
“Are you sure you can drive, Shiro?” Atomik Lad asked. “You took a pretty big hit in the head back there.”
Shiro gave a happy little V-sign with his fingers. “Fukazake is supaa ready for driving action at now!”
“Ahem,” the sidekick cleared his throat. “I’m over here.”
Shiro spun around. “Hai, joked time is then. For now is the serious.”
Nuklear Man looked down. “You talk funny.”
Atomik Lad grabbed Shiro by the arm and turned him around. “When I said I was over here, I meant right
here
. You know, where I am.”