Authors: Virginia Jewel
“Okay, you can pick whatever color you want. I promise I won’t be a diva at your wedding.” He smiled and put a hand on my arm.
“Why doesn’t anyone want to marry me?” I choked out. “What’s wrong with me that no one wants to marry me? Stephen had me for a year and then he didn’t want me anymore. Who’s going to want me?”
Josh pulled me up into his lap and held me to his chest. “Stop crying, Trip. Any man would be lucky to have you. You just haven’t found the right one, yet.” He rocked me back and forth as I continued to sob into his chest.
“You mean it?” I sniffed loudly.
He ran his hand through my hair and looked down at me. “Of course I mean it, Trip. Look at you! Who wouldn’t want you?”
I looked up at him and he smiled back at me. He looked at me sweetly as he stroked my hair and cheek.
“I don’t think I’ll ever find a man who can take care of me as well as you do.” I sighed and rested my head against his chest.
“I know. I’ve spoiled you for other men.” He said with a sigh. He rubbed my back and his fingers played in my hair.
We stayed like that for a while. I was content to be held, and Josh didn’t seem to mind appeasing me. I liked how it felt to be held and Josh’s chest was very comfortable.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up as Josh was tucking me in to my bed. I was still wearing the sequined mini-dress from my night out.
“Sorry, I thought you were out cold.” Josh apologized as he pulled the blanket up around me.
“Don’t leave. Stay with me until I fall asleep again.” I whispered in my saddest needy voice.
Josh obliged, as I knew he would, and I scooted over in the bed. He made himself comfortable on top of the comforter and I snuggled up to him. He smelled like beer and soap and I buried my head into his chest again.
“Didn’t you have a date tonight?” I whispered against him.
“I sent her home when Carrie called and said she was bringing you back.” Josh was playing with my hair again.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I didn’t like her that much.” He pulled me tighter. “I’d rather be here with you anyway.”
I moved my head so that I was looking up at him. He looked back and we stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds.
The martinis must have taken over, because without thinking I pulled myself up and pressed my lips against Josh’s. His lips parted and I felt him pull me closer to him as our kiss deepened, but in the same second he let me go and pulled away.
“Mel, you’re drunk and this is a bad idea.” He looked past me and gently pushed me away.
After that, all I remember was waking up the next morning, my head pounding and my throat aching. I looked at the clock and saw the glass of water with a couple of aspirin in front of it. I took the pills with a gulp of water and headed to the kitchen.
Josh was sitting at the table in his boxer shorts, just like every morning. He looked up when I came in and greeted me with the usual smile, “Morning sunshine!”
I groaned and sat down across from him. He pushed a coffee cup towards me.
“I figured you could use a cup of this, so I made it nice and strong for you.”
“Thanks,” I took a sip and struggled to keep it down, “That’s very strong.”
He smiled at me over his spoonful of raisin bran, “I did warn you.”
“Sorry about last night.” I didn’t dare look up at him as I spoke. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment already, and I didn’t need the extra shame of seeing him look at me with eyes full of pity.
“What are roommates for if not to carry a drunken friend to bed? Don’t mention it.” He stirred the cereal around in his bowl.
“I meant about the other thing.”
“Don’t mention it.” He said as he got up, dumped his cereal into the trash, and left the kitchen.
I watched him walk out and felt shame run through my body.
6.
“I can’t believe you just sat there and didn’t stop all this.”
“You weren’t much help, you know.”
I wiggled in my seat so that I could give him a stern look. The plane hadn’t taken off yet, and we’d been arguing since we were dropped off at the airport. The rest of the passengers in First Class seemed to be clueless to our whisper argument, or maybe they were just enjoying their luxury.
“You told me you had it all under control. You said all I needed to do was sit there, smile, and look pretty.” I whispered angrily at Josh.
“You still could have spoken up and stopped all this.” He whispered back to me.
The steward walked past and Josh flashed him a smile.
“I’m going to kill you when we get home. That’s the only way I can think to get out of all this.” I sat back in my seat and buried my face in a magazine.
Josh knew better than to come back at me. He picked up a magazine of his own and flipped through it.
After the plane had taken off, and my anger had receded slightly, Josh leaned in, “I’m really sorry that this got so out of hand so quickly. I take full responsibility for the whole thing.”
I didn’t turn to face him. I shook my head and tried hard to keep the tears that were welling up in my eyes from escaping. The truth was, I didn’t know how things had gotten so out of control. I don’t know if there was anything that either of us could have done to stop it.
“Are you crying?” Josh pulled my face towards him. “Don’t cry. Why are you crying?”
The tears were rolling down my cheeks, “This just isn’t what I thought my wedding would be like.”
Josh unbuckled and scooted closer to me, putting his arm around me. “I know, Trip. I’m sorry. This isn’t what I thought it would be like either.”
“It’s not all your fault. I went along with this.”
“I could have stopped it though, and I didn’t. I’m sorry. I’ll figure this whole thing out.”
“What are we going to do about our friends and families? You know they’ve all seen us on television. We can’t just keep ignoring the phone calls like we did last weekend. I’ve gotten like a hundred texts since yesterday!” I reached into my purse for a tissue.
I’d turned my phone off hours ago. Even with it on vibrate, it was a distraction. It had buzzed incessantly for hours.
“Me too. Look, let’s just get back to the apartment and get some rest and we’ll talk about this tomorrow. We’ve been going nonstop since yesterday, with the show, the shopping, and the late night dinner and all. My head is spinning right now and I think being home might help me think of a way out of this.”
“Okay,” I sighed and put my head back against the seat, “I can’t wait to be alone. It feels like we’ve had people around us every minute since we got off the plane yesterday.”
“Me too Trip, me too.”
We both sat back and enjoyed the silence and solitude on the flight.
I didn’t speak to him for the rest of the flight, but sleep eluded me. My mind was racing through the past two days. Our day in New York had been crazy. After our appearance on the show, and after we’d been too shocked to say no to all the outrageous offers being thrown at us, Josh and I had been ushered off to separate locations. I spent five hours in a dress shop trying on gowns with a small camera crew from Wake up America.
“Most girls can’t wipe the smile off their faces. I haven’t seen you crack a real one yet. What’s up?” the bridal consultant asked as she yanked another dress off me. Thankfully, the camera hadn’t followed me into the dressing room.
“Nothing, I’m just overwhelmed is all.” I faked a smile for her, but I could tell she didn’t buy it. I had already tried on six different gowns and it felt like there was no end in sight.
“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure a free wedding dress worth several thousand dollars will make it all better.” She handed me another dress she’d selected for me to try on.
The camera was on me the moment I emerged from the dressing room. Having been yelled at for not looking happy enough by the associate producer accompanying me to the dress shop, I put a fake smile on my face and walked to the platform surrounded by mirrors. Just like we’d done with the six dresses before it, we went through the pros and cons of the dress.
Four dresses later, I stood on the platform with a real smile on my face. Despite the fact that I knew none of it was real, wearing that dress felt like magic. Everything was perfect about it. It managed to fit me in all the right areas, and hide my flaws all at the same time. No dress had ever done that before. It was as if the dress was designed and sewn just for me.
I didn’t have to fake my smile, or the tears in my eyes as they filmed me admiring my reflection.
Later, when Josh and I were finally left alone in a hotel room, he had a similar story to tell about his experience at the tuxedo shop. Well, except for the tears, of course. The producer and the suit had gone with him, so he’d had to put on more of a show, but felt just as much overwhelmed.
I left out the part about finding “the one” and getting emotional about it. To be honest, the emotions I’d felt about that damn dress had made all the other emotions come up. Remembering how I’d reacted to that dress made me realize how big the whole thing had become.
I couldn’t wait to get back to our apartment, go into my bedroom, and just shut the door. I’d taken a few days off of work, hoping that everything would blow over before I went back. A day sitting around the apartment with the cell phones turned off and the home phone unplugged was all I could think about as the plane landed safely back in Virginia.
They let us off the plane and wished us well. Josh held our bags as we walked down the jet way towards the terminal. We were both exhausted and still not speaking to each other.
The closer we got to the terminal the more noise we heard. It was the middle of the day, so we had not expected there to be much of a crowd. As soon as we turned the corner, we realized where the noise was coming from.
Cameras flashed and people began shouting at us as soon as we came into view. It was all a jumbled mess of chaos and we were walking right into it. We didn’t have a choice, we were trapped. There was nowhere else for us to go but forward.
The noise reached a frenzied level when my mom broke free from the crowd and ran towards us with her arms out.
“Good grief,” I sighed just before she reached us. We’d cleverly avoided her over the weekend, in the hopes that by the time we got back from New York we’d have a plan about how we were going to tell her the truth. But we had no plan, and we were in deeper than before. And now she was racing towards us, wearing her favorite dress and a new set of pearls.
“I am so happy for you two! This is so wonderful!” she said as she pulled me in for a hug and sloppy kiss on the cheek.
“Welcome to the family, Josh!” she said and pulled him against her. “Of course, you’ve always been a part of our family, but now it will be official!”
She let us go and stepped back to look at us.
“Finally! I thought you two would never figure it out!” she said loudly and the crowd behind her laughed.