Authors: Virginia Jewel
I whipped my head to give him a pleading look. “Are you sure Josh doesn’t need to stay? People have coed showers all the time now.”
“Melody, don’t be ridiculous. Your dad is going to take Josh out and they’re going to have a little celebration of their own.” My mom grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the living room. “Besides, this isn’t just a bridal shower. It’s a lingerie bridal shower.”
All the women in the living room clapped and cheered.
I turned back to Josh, even more frightened than before, and begged him with my eyes. He looked as if he was trying very hard not to laugh.
My mom started dragging me away towards the living room, but the ladies shouted at her to let me give Josh a kiss goodbye.
"Okay, okay, ladies! Melody, go give my future son-in-law a kiss goodbye.” She pushed me towards him.
My dad turned his back dramatically and all the ladies laughed.
I walked to Josh and stretched up to plant my lips on his.
“Help me!” I whispered with my lips on his.
“Not a chance. You’re on your own!” he whispered back and pulled me against him in a tight grip.
The ladies sighed, clapped, whistled, and hooted at us.
When he was finished with his show, he let me go and pushed me towards them. But as I walked away, he pinched my ass.
The women enjoyed that as well.
The next two hours were filled with lace, horribly awkward stories that I never wanted to sit through, and enough blushing to give my cheeks a permanent burn.
We played games.
I’d been forced to wear a lace bra and panty set over my clothes since I couldn’t blow my balloon up fast enough. There was a game involving cherries and cream that was just traumatizing! But worst of all, was when my mom read back all the comments I’d made when opening all my embarrassing gifts.
“Oh, this might be too small for me!”
The women in the room laughed at that one.
“I’ve never seen a black one like this!”
That one kept the women in stitches for over five minutes.
“This is so soft and smooth. I just want to rub it against my face!”
Several women cried they laughed so hard at that one.
Just when I thought the whole ordeal was over, my mom handed me one more package.
“This one is special because it’s something that you and Josh can enjoy together and will remember for the rest of your lives.” She sat back down on the couch and waited expectantly for me to open the gift.
I opened the package slowly, not sure what it might contain. I’d learned a few things about my mom that night that I never wanted to know, so I wasn’t sure if this package was safe to open.
When I pulled the top off the box, a tiny red bikini greeted me. I held it up for everyone to see, just as I’d been forced to do with every embarrassingly lacy piece of lingerie that came before it.
As I held it, the box slid off my lap and an envelope fell to the floor. I picked it up off the floor and opened it up. Inside were two plane tickets and reservations for a week in Hawaii.
Once again, I was speechless.
I couldn’t believe it.
My parents really were happy for us. They’d bought the whole charade. When my mom told me she was happy for me, she meant it. She really wanted us to be together. The weight of it all hit me and I started to cry.
Of course, everyone assumed I was choked up about the actual gift and they all started to cry too.
“Thank you so much for this,” I choked out to my mom. “Thank you to all of you. I can’t tell you how much this all means to me, to us. Thank you.”
The party slowly started to wind down, and eventually it was just my mom and I left at the house.
“It was great to see all the women again, wasn’t it?” she asked as we piled dirty plates into the trash. She was still smiling, clearly pleased with how her party had turned out.
“Yes, thank you for doing this for me.” I smiled genuinely at her.
“Well, it’s all there was left to do for you. Everything else has been taken away from us, so I knew I had to jump on this as quickly as possible.”
I watched her face as she spoke and saw for the first time how much it hurt her to not be a part of the whole wedding process. Most moms got to help plan the event, or at least be there when their daughter picks out her wedding dress. My mom was giving up all of that because Josh and I had gotten ourselves into a crazy ordeal and taken those chances from her.
I started to tear up again, but the sound of the front door opening saved me.
“Is it safe to enter?” my dad called out from a cracked door.
“Yes, yes, everyone has left. It’s just me and Mel now.” My mom shouted back at him.
“Well, isn’t this just like the women, Josh? They’ve come in and made a mess and left it for the men to clean up!” my dad said sarcastically.
Josh laughed as he walked in behind my dad.
He looked at me questioningly and I mouthed back, “don’t ask.”
“Why don’t you two leave this for us? It won’t take that long for us to get this mess cleaned up.” Mom offered to us when she caught us smiling at each other.
“We don’t mind helping out, Mrs. Holden.” Josh countered her offer.
She stopped cleaning, “Please call me mom now, Josh.”
“We’ve got this. Why don’t the two of you head home and sort through all the gifts Mel got tonight.” My dad gave him another slap on the back, but this one was punctuated by a wink.
An awkward look was exchanged between me and Josh, but we obliged my parents. He helped me load the bags into the car and we waved to my parents as we drove off towards our apartment.
“So, how was it?” Josh asked when my parents’ house was completely out of sight.
I groaned, “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m scarred for life now.”
My cheeks burned just thinking about what I’d seen, heard, and been forced to do.
He laughed loudly.
“Did you have a good time with my dad?”
Josh tilted his head to the side slightly and a grin formed on the corner of his mouth. “He talked to me about sex.”
I groaned again and threw my head back against the car seat. “I’m so sorry!”
Josh chuckled, “Don’t be. It was pretty informative. I kind of wish he’d had the talk with me years ago.”
“Yuck! Gross! What did he tell you?” I was disgusted. The thought of my dad talking about sex was awful. The thought of my dad talking about sex with Josh was just horrendous!
“He didn’t go into any details, but,” Josh paused and gave me a wicked look, “let’s just say that your mother is most likely a very satisfied woman.”
I screamed, “Ugh! Seriously, please stop talking about this!”
Josh laughed some more. “Just one more thing and then I’ll stop.”
We were at a stop light so he turned to face me. He waited until I looked at him and gave him permission to continue.
He grinned widely at me, “If we really were engaged, then tonight would be a
very fun night
!”
I raised an eyebrow at him and he nodded seriously, but kept the goofy grin.
I rolled my eyes.
“So, did you get anything good tonight?” he asked as the light turned green. I could see the grin on his face.
“My parents got us a honeymoon in Hawaii.”
“I know. Your dad told me about it.” He looked over at me with a smile. “This fake wedding and marriage is turning into a very fortunate turn of events for us.”
I smiled at him, but my thoughts were elsewhere. I thought of my mom and all the things that she was giving up.
As we pulled into the parking lot of our apartment building Josh nonchalantly asked, “So, any chance that there might be a lingerie fashion show in our apartment tonight? After all, the gifts aren’t just for you, you know.”
I looked at him and said seriously, “I suppose it could be arranged, but honestly Josh, some of that lingerie is not going to fit you.”
11.
There was no lingerie fashion show. I carefully tucked all the lacy articles away in the back of my closet. I could have used some new bras and panties, but the thought of wearing any of it made me sick to my stomach. Everyone had purchased those items with the intent of me wearing them for Josh, and I just couldn’t bring myself to look at any of it.
On Saturday, a giant box was delivered to the apartment. Josh helped me carry it into my room.
“Don’t open that!” I screamed when he started to pull the tape off the package.
He stopped and looked at me, “Why not?”
“Because, Josh, it is bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding.” I tried to push him away from the enormous box sitting on my bed.
He laughed, “You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re having a fake wedding, Mel.”
“No, we’re not. We’re having a real wedding, followed by a real marriage.” I pulled the box towards me.
Josh sighed, “Real or fake, the wedding dress superstition is ridiculous. How many episodes of that stupid dress show have I sat and watched with you where the boyfriend goes with the girl to get the dress?”
“Look, I just want this one thing to be traditional. You need to find somewhere to go for the next few hours. I’m calling my mom to come over.”
He gave me a strange look.
I sighed.
After the lingerie shower incident, I’d been thinking a lot about what my mom was missing out on. As far as she knew, this was a real wedding. What we were going through was real to her, and I had managed to find a way to keep her out of it all.
“I want my mom to have this one thing. She wasn’t there to help me pick it out or to help with any of the other wedding details. I want her to have this one part of the wedding.” I gave him a pleading look.
“Fine,” he sighed. “I’m going to the gym. I’ll call you before I come home.”
“Thanks Josh.” I flashed a smile at him and wrapped my arms around him.
We’d been doing that a lot more lately. Being forced to look like a loving engaged couple had somehow made our friendship a bit more physical. We hugged each other, even when no one was around to see us.
My mom showed up about twenty minutes after Josh left and immediately helped me pull the dress out of its box.
“Oh Melody, it’s absolutely beautiful,” she said after we had it laid out on the bed. She started to cry as she grabbed my hand and pulled it up to her face.
“Do you want to try and help me get into it?” I asked timidly.
It took us almost fifteen minutes to get the dress on and laced up. However, when we were done, it was worth every uncomfortable tug and pull. My mom stood in front of me with a tissue pressed against her eyes, dabbing at the tears streaming down her face.