Read Observatory Mansions Online
Authors: Edward Carey
186. A chewed dog collar with name tag (inscribed).
187. A lampshade dog collar.
188. Eight hinges from a dressing screen.
189. A bedside light.
190. A letter of resignation.
191. A bell pull.
192. A naked porcelain doll.
193. One half of a pair of curtains.
194. A number of tapers.
195. A farewell letter.
196. A letter of apology.
197. A letter from a master to his housekeeper.
198. A housekeeper’s keys.
199. A servant’s livery.
200. Two ice trays.
201. A set of children’s building blocks.
202. Six dismissal letters.
203. A hookah pipe.
204. A clockwork toy train.
205. A tub of floor wax.
206. Seven screws taken from a boiler.
207. A dustpan and brush.
208. Four postcards from foreign cities.
209. The key to the servants’ hall.
210. An antique box camera.
211. A tin of silver polish.
212. A shoe grate.
213. A tear-stained confession (ink on paper).
214. A letter to notify termination of contract.
215. A monocle.
216. A tennis racket bracket.
217. A lavatory handle.
218. A mummified cat.
219. An oriental rug.
220. A dog bowl.
221. A globe (celestial).
222. A quantity of green baize (from a door).
223. A bottle of aspirin tablets.
224. A list of items to be auctioned (booklet).
225. An auctioneer’s hammer.
226. A cheque made out to an auctioneering company.
227. Two rolls of wallpaper.
228. A drum of household electricity wire.
229. A hacksaw.
230. An electric drill.
231. Two boiler suits.
232. A carefully cut length of skirting board.
233. An industrial floor polisher.
234. The insides of a telephone.
235. A tool box.
236. A fuse box.
237. Thirteen paintbrushes.
238. A ballet shoe.
239. A new resident’s first set of keys.
240. Seven invitations to a house-warming party.
241. An unused doormat.
242. A length of bandage.
243. A number of photographs of the sun’s chromosphere.
244. A travel book.
245. A metronome.
246. A will.
247. A cashmere scarf.
248. A medal (silver, ribbon).
249. A map of Western Europe.
250. A map of Eastern Europe.
251. A photograph of a wedding.
252. A tennis racket.
253. A wooden clog.
254. A bugle.
255. An X-ray of a pair of lungs.
256. A plastic male doll.
257. A dried globe fish.
258. A paraffin lamp.
259. A trumpet.
260. A pair of spectacles.
261. A pebble.
262. A Ventolin inhaler.
263. A leather boxing glove.
264. A dog collar (for a priest).
265. A quantity of communion wafers.
266. A book of fairy tales.
267. Four lace bonnets.
268. A military sword.
269. A can-opener.
270. A book of instructions (for a child’s model kit).
271. A piece of cardboard with writing on it (belonging to a tramp).
272. A passport.
273. A number of guitar strings.
274. A discus.
275. A death mask.
276. A hand-drawn map.
277. A shopping basket.
278. An umbrella.
279. A pair of aeroplane tickets (non-returnable).
280. A cross-cut saw.
281. A pencil drawing of a hunchback.
282. A woollen mitten.
283. A crucifix.
284. A gold sports medal.
285. A reel of barbed wire.
286. A tap-dancing shoe.
287. A leather punch bag.
288. A dog whistle.
289. A calfskin gauntlet.
290. A record player.
291. A lawnmower blade.
292. A death threat (letters cut from a newspaper glued on to white paper).
293. A length of stair carpet.
294. The transcripts from a trial.
295. A tin of dried tea leaves.
296. A tax rebate (cheque).
297. A collection of scissors (twenty-six pairs).
298. A pair of moleskin trousers.
299. A list of records from a jukebox.
300. A bottle of massage oil.
301. A pair of walking sticks.
302. A nail brush.
303. A blue shirt.
304. An appointment book.
305. A quantity of keys on a keyring.
306. A road sign.
307. A zoetrope.
308. A quantity of dried chillies.
309. A bird’s nest.
310. A shopping list.
311. A puppet on a stick.
312. A child’s potty (enamelware).
313. A Bible (leather bound).
314. The top of a human thumb (wrapped in cotton wool).
315. A tin foot bowl.
316. A school photograph.
317. A guidebook to a public abattoir.
318. A component from a washing machine.
319. A book of philosophy.
320. A glassblower’s iron pipe.
321. A child’s story book.
322. A dog-leg chisel.
323. A black leather belt.
324. An address book.
325. The peddle from a sewing machine.
326. A microphone.
327. A silver teaspoon.
328. A dried starfish.
329. A book on dieting.
330. A quill pen.
331. A Noah’s ark (containing twenty wooden animals and two wooden people).
332. A plastic doll that wets itself.
333. An oboe reed.
334. A urine sample (inside a test tube).
335. The lid of a baptismal font.
336. A rudder.
337. A child’s drum.
338. An electric toaster.
339. A gym slip.
340. A Petit’s tourniquet.
341. A wineglass with a lipstick mark on its rim.
342. A betting slip.
343. A bottle of liquid paper.
344. A Jew’s harp.
345. A blow pipe.
346. A plastic toy tank.
347. A political manifesto.
348. A bull’s-eye (from a dartboard).
349. A knuckle duster.
350. A poster of a screen idol.
351. A tin of straw-hat varnish.
352. A telegram.
353. A pair of pearl earrings
354. A paper flag on a wooden stick.
355. A metal detector.
356. A dinosaur model kit.
357. A code book.
358. A library book.
359. A library card.
360. A piece of shrapnel.
361. A pair of pyjama bottoms (unclean).
362. A length of tartan material.
363. A number of exhibition catalogues.
364. A flag.
365. A tooth mug.
366. A tube of spot cream.
367. A kazoo.
368. A medical dictionary.
369. The tusk of a narwhal.
370. A battery-operated torch (rubber casing).
371. A handwritten map of the whereabouts of a grave (paper).
372. A pair of boots, one with raised heel and metal supports.
373. A cardboard theatre.
374. A book of illustrated stories.
375. A quantity of sand stored in a glass receptacle.
376. A pair of earphones.
377. A fob watch.
378. A soldier’s bayonet.
379. A blood-stained tea cosy.
380. A television’s remote control.
381. A saline drip.
382. A cheap piece of jewellery (engraved).
383. A roller skate.
384. A top hat.
385. A smoke alarm.
386. A corduroy jacket.
387. A brass doorknocker.
388. A fingerless shooting glove.
389. A medical bracelet.
390. A darning egg.
391. A boomerang (karenya wood).
392. A beer mat (with a telephone number written on it).
393. A radiator tap.
394. A job contract (to work at a waxworks exhibition).
395. A list of rules and conditions in the workplace.
396. A city map.
397. A hat pin.
398. A fragment of a wax ear.
399. A wooden hoop.
400. An ink pad.
401. A rubber stamp.
402. A blue sock.
403. A paintbox.
404. A nurse’s uniform.
405. A dunce’s cap.
406. A harmonica.
407. A miniature statue of Buddha.
408. A Saint Christopher medallion.
409. A pair of candy-striped braces.
410. An ostrich feather.
411. A soldier’s helmet.
412. A bottle of arsenic.
413. An artist’s preliminary sketches.
414. A circular saw blade.
415. A sculptor’s spatula.
416. A silver propelling pencil.
417. Moulds from a wax head.
418. A quantity of fair hair.
419. A wax foot.
420. A glass eyeball.
421. A silk headscarf.
422. A machine for counting notes of money.
423. A quantity of brown hair.
424. A postcard of the founder of a wax museum.
425. A kaleidoscope.
426. A black and white photograph (a family portrait).
427. A pair of black leather gloves.
428. A packet of cigarettes (unopened).
429. A metal cog.
430. A hot-water bottle.
431. An architect’s plan.
432. A number of matchstick boxes (all empty).
433. A quantity of ginger hair.
434. A wilted rose.
435. A sports trophy.
436. A silver bracelet.
437. A bow and arrow.
438. A wax pear.
439. A pair of tortoiseshell spectacles.
440. A child’s raincoat.
441. A dog’s lead.
442. A piano key.
443. A pair of swimming goggles.
444. A chorister’s gown.
445. A wind-resistant cigarette lighter.
446. A set square.
447. A protractor.
448. A compass.
449. A blunt pencil.
450. A schoolboy’s homework.
451. A silver tiepin (engraved).
452. A rifle’s telescopic lens.
453. A quantity of red ribbon.
454. An epaulette.
455. A black cotton waistcoat.
456. A pair of leather slippers.
457. A wheel from a hospital bed.
458. A bar of soap (lemon smelling).
459. Four tins of consommé soup.
460. A hearing trumpet.
461. An anglepoise lamp.
462. A ball, chain and ankle cuff.
463. A plastercast of a person’s teeth.
464. Milkshake powder in a plastic container.
465. A chocolate sculpted penis.
466. A tortoise.
467. A bottle of oil of cloves.
468. A dwarf’s dress.
469. A club membership card.
470. A reflex hammer.
471. A list of numbers to open a combination lock.
472. A police file.
473. A number of children’s paintings.
474. A photograph of a first communion.
475. A No Smoking sign.
476. A hipflask (full of brandy).
477. A lottery ticket.
478. A photograph of an old woman.
479. A human rib (believed to have belonged to a saint).
480. A snooker cue.
481. A meat pie.
482. A personal stereo.
483. Silk underwear.
484. Two floorboards.
485. A record.
486. A number of hair curlers.
487. A brass cigarette lighter.
488. A number of moth balls.
489. A stamp album.
490. A briefcase.
491. A receptacle for the remains of a dead person (plastic).
492. The remains of a dead person (ash).
493. A screwdriver (plastic handle).
494. A red satin bra.
495. A magnet.
496. A contact lens.
497. A fencing foil.
498. A pair of sunglasses.
499. A child’s first pair of shoes.
500. A fur hat with ear flaps.
501. A dentist’s grinder.
502. A mortarboard.
503. A pair of leather jackboots.
504. A bone drill.
505. A letter from a mother to her son.
506. Four peacock feathers.
507. A book of criminal statistics.
508. A book of fingerprints.
509. A wheelchair (collapsed).
510. A blue and green bobble hat.
511. A sextant.
512. A photograph of a six-year-old’s birthday party.
513. A number of chocolate eggs.
514. A wind chime.
515. An employee-of-the-month badge.
516. A washing line.
517. A piece of primitive pottery.
518. An unwashed shawl.
519. A camera obscura.
520. A collection of cat ornaments (china, porcelain, plastic, rubber, glass).
521. The leg from a small clockwork ballerina.
522. A boy’s collection of stolen bras (twelve pieces).
523. A matchstick model of a single-span bridge.
524. Two pig’s hearts in a pine box.
525. A pair of stonewashed jeans.
526. A children’s encyclopedia.
527. A large cactus.
528. An electric fan heater.
529. A silver cigarette case.
530. A hearing aid.
531. A photograph of a woman water-skiing.
532. Several teeth of a tiger.
533. A jar of mustard.
534. A bottle of pills (labelled).
535. A signed lithograph.
536. A clown’s make-up box.
537. A typewriter ribbon.
538. A pair of sunglasses.
539. A cine camera.
540. Cine film (exposed).
541. Reels of cine film (developed).
542. A polo-neck jumper.
543. A quantity of postcards.
544. A can of air freshener.
545. A steel and plastic fountain pen.
546. A phial of supposed virgin’s blood.
547. A music stand.
548. A stilt.
549. A terracotta ashtray.
550. A threadbare doormat.
551. A nun’s wimple.
552. A map of a foreign country.
553. An opium pipe.
554. A dry-cleaning collection ticket.
555. A dental brace.
556. A spark plug.