Read Observatory Mansions Online
Authors: Edward Carey
557. A nappy pin.
558. A china inkwell.
559. A book of children’s folk tales.
560. A handbag (with numerous contents).
561. One half of a ten-year correspondence (479 letters).
562. A piece of a jigsaw puzzle.
563. A scapular (cloth).
564. A university degree certificate.
565. An air pump.
566. A photograph of a teenage girl.
567. A number of sparklers.
568. A marriage licence.
569. A quantity of sheet music.
570. A hardback novel.
571. A photograph of a political rally.
572. A collection of chewing-gum wrappers.
573. A manhole cover.
574. A schoolboy’s lines (thirty sheets of paper, completed).
575. A dissertation on castrati (handwritten).
576. A coarse blanket.
577. A wooden idol.
578. The seat of a wicker chair.
579. A collection of hotel stationery.
580. A quilted bedspread.
581. An ounce of hashish.
582. A number of spent gun cartridges.
583. A prayer wheel.
584. A pager.
585. A suitcase full of bananas.
586. A schoolgirl’s diary.
587. A doll’s house.
588. An ankle band.
589. A collection of pinned moths.
590. The complete handwritten love poems of an amateur poet.
591. A circus poster.
592. A blindfold.
593. A sheath of cooking recipes.
594. A boatswain’s call.
595. A photograph of an old man and a young girl.
596. A collection of menus.
597. A sewing kit.
598. A bottle opener.
599. A hymn book.
600. A pearl necklace.
601. A box of medical gloves.
602. A letter from a solicitor.
603. A dictionary of an extinct language.
604. A small painting of the Virgin Mary.
605. A shooting target (used).
606. A doctor’s night bell.
607. A television.
608. A seat from a swing.
609. A wooden rod from a banister.
610. A collection of cartoon magazines.
611. Part of a motor from inside a mechanized waxwork.
612. A plastic, yellow toothbrush.
613. A photograph of a man speaking to a large crowd.
614. A traffic policeman’s whistle.
615. An edition of twelve etchings.
616. A paper bag containing sherbet lemons.
617. A martyr’s palm (plaster).
618. A tin of caviar (opened).
619. A For Sale sign.
620. A pickled human cerebellum.
621. Twelve bottles of home-brewed beer.
622. A sun hat.
623. An auditor’s report.
624. An eyepatch.
625. A language learning course (four cassettes, one book).
626. A back scratcher.
627. A cinema poster.
628. A letter terminating work.
629. An exhibition catalogue of a wax museum.
630. A final pay cheque.
631. A purple ribbon.
632. A gabardine.
633. A pair of black buckled shoes.
634. A false leg.
635. A chipped urinal bowl.
636. A brass cockleshell.
637. A portable gas cooker.
638. A coral necklace.
639. Seventeen detective novels.
640. A milk bottle (unopened).
641. A pair of a celebrated magician’s white gloves.
642. A group photograph of a school reunion.
643. A radio.
644. A notebook (containing weights of human beings).
645. A number of (developed) slides.
646. A slide projector.
647. A registered letter (unopened).
648. A pack of cards (pricked).
649. A book on dry cholera.
650. The name of a dead soldier from a war memorial.
651. A starting pistol.
652. A wedding dress (satin).
653. A bicycle pump.
654. A bottle of glue.
655. A snorkel.
656. A play script.
657. An architect’s plan for housing poor families.
658. A compact mirror.
659. A pair of chequered trousers.
660. A cat flap.
661. A stuffed salmon (in a glass case).
662. A doily (cotton).
663. A milk bottle (unopened).
664. A sex discovery manual.
665. A box of assorted fireworks.
666. A lock of black hair.
667. Lipstick (vermilion).
668. A number of grooved lead and nickel bullets.
669. A dinner jacket and trousers.
670. A violin.
671. A shower head.
672. A chest wig.
673. A silver picture frame (empty).
674. A cravat (silk).
675. A business card.
676. A pair of ankle-length leather boots.
677. A photograph of a spotty male adolescent.
678. An oil painting of a blue Persian cat.
679. A milk bottle (unopened).
680. A scabbing hammer.
681. A woman’s vibrator.
682. A bird table.
683. A clock’s pendulum.
684. An astrology chart.
685. A pair of tailor’s shears.
686. A group of photographs of voluntary patients of a mental asylum.
687. An ivory roulette ball.
688. A ventriloquist’s dummy.
689. A tide chart.
690. A man-made pair of wings.
691. A colostomy bag (empty).
692. A penny whistle.
693. A bottle of shampoo.
694. A tin of biscuits.
695. The top of a lectern (ash).
696. A white linen suit (three pieces).
697. An eternity ring (diamond, silver).
698. A paper and wood fan.
699. A gobstopper.
700. A skull cap.
701. A lint-removing device.
702. A coathanger.
703. A self-portrait.
704. A leather bookmark.
705. A cotton nightdress (white).
706. An anchor.
707. An oven door.
708. Skin moisturizing cream.
709. A packet of cigarette rolling papers.
710. A candle.
711. Four cans of lager beer.
712. A penknife with sixteen different blades.
713. The remains of a tulip.
714. An aviator’s compass.
715. A drawer’s handle (brass).
716. A wallet full of money.
717. A pair of jogging bottoms.
718. A pair of cinema tickets.
719. A Pyrex coffee pot.
720. A canister of petrol.
721. Certificates of shares.
722. A tape-measure.
723. A bull’s nosering.
724. A worker’s overalls.
725. A milk bottle (unopened).
726. A blackboard rubber.
727. A length of cane.
728. A schoolroom stool.
729. A camera lens.
730. A dog’s bone.
731. A pair of child’s gloves with faces knitted on to the fingertips.
732. A fire extinguisher.
733. A suitcase.
734. A hairdryer.
735. A guidebook to a foreign city.
736. A canvas bag.
737. A broken calculator.
738. A nail file.
739. A ballcock.
740. A first-aid box.
741. A hinge from a door.
742. A starched collar.
743. A leather sports bag.
744. A sheath of paintbrushes.
745. A metal trunk.
746. A pair of false eyelashes.
747. A brown leather satchel.
748. A Father Christmas costume.
749. An elephant’s hoof umbrella stand.
750. A tin of fluorescent paint.
751. A uniform from a vanquished army.
752. A kneeling cushion from a church.
753. A suitcase with wheels.
754. A dumb-bell.
755. A canister of hair-styling foam.
756. A used condom.
757. A mosquito net.
758. A corkscrew.
759. A pair of starched shorts.
760. A jar of porridge oats.
761. A photograph of a man with no nose.
762. A bottle of scent.
763. A souvenir plaster statue of an ancient church.
764. A book on genocide.
765. A dried sea horse.
766. A thank-you letter.
767. The rod from a sundial.
768. A coffee grinder.
769. A tube of tooth glue.
770. A passport photograph (inscribed on reverse).
771. A bottle of suntan lotion.
772. A straw hat.
773. A false moustache.
774. A nutcracker.
775. An Instamatic camera.
776. A flat cap.
777. A thermometer.
778. A silk dressing gown.
779. A bill from a lawyer.
780. A book of autographs.
781. A bottle of vodka.
782. A chocolate bunny.
783. The results of a pregnancy test.
784. A chequebook.
785. A cheque-guarantee card.
786. A cut-throat razor.
787. A railway platform ticket.
788. An engagement ring.
789. A packet of ground coffee (vacuum sealed).
790. A blade from a kitchen blender.
791. A wedding ring (gold).
792. A length of hosepipe.
793. An unopened box of chocolates.
794. A military cap.
795. A gallstone (in a glass jar).
796. A photograph of a ship.
797. A cork from a champagne bottle.
798. An Alice band.
799. A car’s number plate.
800. A red dress.
801. A photograph of teenage males marching.
802. A vacuum cleaner.
803. A brass button.
804. A man’s wristwatch.
805. A set of six wineglasses.
806. A bronze bust of a famous politician.
807. A photograph of an amateur theatre production.
808. A bottle of cough mixture.
809. A doctor’s handwritten journal (seven volumes).
810. A pair of shoes, formerly belonging to a giant.
811. An eyewitness report of an alien sighting.
812. A stamp (franked).
813. A plaster angel.
814. A stethoscope.
815. A pair of white gloves, from a military band’s trombone player.
816. A photograph of a bulldog.
817. A plastic bottle of washing-up liquid.
818. A barometer.
819. A tattoo design.
820. A conductor’s baton.
821. A gas mask.
822. A Valentine’s day card.
823. A silk underskirt.
824. A box of soft-centred chocolates (unopened).
825. A football.
826. A change of address card.
827. A set of liar dice.
828. A digital watch.
829. A list of people.
830. A pair of theatre tickets.
831. A toupee.
832. A baby’s dummy.
833. A jeroboam of very old wine.
834. A number of photographs of naked children.
835. A wallet full of foreign currencies.
836. A black tie.
837. A bicycle saddle.
838. A gimlet.
839. A quantity of fruit-machine tokens.
840. A verruca sock.
841. An answer-machine tape.
842. A bottle of bubble bath.
843. A bride’s bouquet.
844. The skeleton of a fruit bat.
845. A christening gown.
846. A bottle of essence of vanilla.
847. A dead goldfish in a plastic bag of moulding water.
848. A grey overcoat.
849. A bottle of formaldehyde.
850. A name plate.
851. A plastic comb.
852. A kite.
853. A pair of taxidermist’s blunt-tipped scissors.
854. A woman’s swimming costume.
855. An invalid’s hand bell.
856. A polka-dot bow tie.
857. A prison uniform.
858. A rosette.
859. A knife used by a celebrated murderer.
860. A fossil of an ancient centipede.
861. A rabbit hutch (empty).
862. A snowstorm within a plastic dome (souvenir).
863. A spirit level.
864. A number of newspaper cuttings.
865. A turban.
866. A strait-jacket.
867. A number of plant seeds in a packet.
868. An oar.
869. A plastic dustbin.
870. A future chemist’s first periodic table.
871. A conker on a length of string.
872. A history book.
873. A plastic toy astronaut.
874. A hospital patient’s chart.
875. A driving licence.
876. A handkerchief (initialled).
877. A bottle of vitamin tablets.
878. A number of mouse traps.
879. A satellite television disc.
880. A plastic water pistol.
881. A laptop computer.
882. Four pieces of lead guttering.
883. A dried locust.
884. The left speaker from a hi-fi unit.
885. A builder’s helmet (plastic).
886. A car’s aerial.
887. A red beret.
888. A cymbal.
889. A bath plug.
890. A skeleton key.
891. A china teapot.
892. A number of Christmas cards.
893. A photograph of a naked woman and a horse.
894. Seventeen volumes of photograph albums from one family.
895. A child’s molar.
896. An architect’s pen.
897. The pin from a door lock.
898. A theatre programme (autographed).
899. A syringe.
900. The centrifugal governor from a lift.
901. The space bar from a computer keyboard.
902. A pair of handcuffs.
903. A cheque.
904. A doorbell.
905. An alchemist’s chart.
906. A chalk sculpture of an owl’s head.
907. An ancient and inaccurate map of the world.
908. A number of naval sea charts.
909. A recording of a concert pianist.
910. Three theatrical masks.
911. A photograph of a city immediately after it was bombed.
912. An obituary (cut from a newspaper).
913. A rosary.
914. A conch shell.
915. A stopwatch.
916. The provenance of an oil painting (ink on paper).
917. A photograph of a dead man.
918. A pocket electronic game.
919. A bottle of methylated spirit.
920. A miniature wooden yacht.
921. A radio interview (on tape).