Obsessed with Fur [3xtasy Lake 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (10 page)

“What’s MSF?” Sloan asked.

“Médecins Sans Frontières. It’s the Canadian chapter of Doctors Without Borders.”

“Are you both doctors?” Carol glanced back and forth between them. “We could use a couple of doctors up here.”

“No, we’re not.” Jelani replied “I’m a nurse-practitioner, which means I do many of the same things as a GP but I don’t write prescriptions. Marcario is an architect.”

“But I’ve always preferred doing the actual building than the planning part of it all,” Marcario added. Being called an architect always sounded so stuffy to him when he much preferred the construction side of things. “Jelani did as much as the doctors there, but you don’t have much choice out in the middle of nowhere.”

“There is always a registered doctor on site as well, but sadly her time was often filled. So I was able to help out where I could.”

“Mai told me there was an incident there, and that is why you came back early.”

“The Congo’s a dangerous place.” Marcario’s voice deadened and Jelani knew he was replaying the incident in his head again. Neither of them liked to talk about it, and he certainly didn’t want it to turn into small-town gossip. There were some wonderful people who continued to risk their lives down there, and he was feeling no little bit of guilt for not going back yet.

“Marcario is good with his hands and can build almost anything,” he added, trying to change the subject. Carol and her husbands took the hint and followed along, but he watched Jess stare at his brother. She looked as though she was fighting the urge to ask him details, but thankfully she didn’t.

“Marcario and I have spent so many years overseas that it’s strange coming home again and getting used to the cold. A few weeks ago we were in one-hundred-degree weather and dealing with mosquitoes the size of dinner plates.”

“You’re kidding me.” Carol shivered. “I hate mosquitoes.”

“We have to line the deck with citronella candles in the summer to get her out of the house in the evening.” Jaxon kissed Carol’s temple and she laughed.

“I’m going to go and get another beer.” Sloan disengaged himself from between Jessica and Carol and looked at him and Marcario. “Can I get either of you one?”

“What are you drinking?” Marcario asked.

“I think it’s an ale of some sort.” Sloan held up a plain brown beer bottle. “There’s a new microbrewery opening up a few miles from here. They don’t have their marketing finished, but they offered to donate the beer for the festival. It’s pretty good.”

Marcario glanced over at Jelani and nodded slightly. “We’d love to try it.”

“I’ll set us all up.” Sloan gave Carol a quick kiss and headed off in the direction of the bar. Jelani understood that he and Marcario had passed some test the other man had in his head. With all that red hair he wondered what kind of animal he would be.

* * * *

Jess watched Marcario closely. If she understood one thing, it was that past horrors could stick around in your thoughts for a long time. Jelani’s gaze shifted slightly, too, and she wondered exactly what happened to the two of them. Mai didn’t know all the details. Other than Marcario had been physically assaulted in an attack on the clinic they were helping in. She said her brothers didn’t want to worry her or their mom so they didn’t tell either of them the specifics of the emergency evac out of the country. The Hendersons might not see it but Jessica noticed new shadows in their eyes. That she could understand, since she noticed the same trait in her own gaze at times.

Other than kissing her hand, neither of them made a move toward her. Of course, having Sloan get overprotective didn’t help. Ever since she moved back up here, every man in town suddenly took to escorting her when she wanted to go out. She had a modest cottage a few miles away, but lately a steady stream of people
happened to be passing by
a couple times a day. She had accused Cris of spying on her and announcing on the radio where she was. How was she supposed to know when she was being watched if everyone was keeping an eye on her? She hated being the focus of attention.

She had stayed at Gordon’s for the first couple weeks after coming home. Helen and Ann made her feel safe and secure. Other than a few trips that Gordon took, she hadn’t left all that much in the past three months. He insisted that he didn’t need her at the Toronto office, and when he did she’d stayed at his condo. She didn’t have any contact with Geoff. Strangely enough he didn’t call her at work as was his habit, and she expected him to harass her there. It wasn’t until a few days passed that she learned the Gordon had all the numbers changed. It was a massive pain in the ass for him, but she appreciated it.

About three weeks after she left Geoff, a package was left for her at the office door. Inside was silk scarf that Geoff gave her for her birthday. It had been ripped into shreds and soaked in Jess’s favourite perfume. She’d been terrified, not certain what it meant. They’d called the police, but since there was no note or proof that it came from Geoff, the authorities couldn’t do anything.

Gordon closed the Toronto office that afternoon and moved them to a satellite office in North York. He had purchased a brownstone a few months ago and had Vencel renovate the downstairs for offices, and that gave them living space upstairs when they needed. He had it planned for a while. Ever since Willow was born he didn’t like to be too far away from his family.

She knew she didn’t look as good as she did when she first met them, and seeing her in this shape probably surprised Marcario and Jelani. After leaving Geoff she tried to change her way of life. Wanting to get back to the old her, she stopped working out every day and started enjoying things like wine and ice cream and biscotti dipped in Vin Santo. That was her favourite.

Looking in the mirror now made her cringe. What the hell would they want with her looking like this?
But I’m happier now.
It was a continual battle with the inner voice that came out every times she looked in a mirror. She knew she didn’t meet the ideal image of the perfect woman, but she felt better not starving herself and working out so incredibly hard all the time. She missed listening to her inner animal. Being a doe meant that she had incredible instincts for danger. Now that she was listening to herself again she felt much happier. And that made her life better.

It took a while, but she convinced herself that what she had felt toward the Bennett boys was simply a backlash of adrenaline-stoked emotions from the stress of that evening. But seeing them today she realized she was full of shit. Those two men were her mates, and from what she heard they didn’t have any intention of sticking around that long.
You really can pick them, can’t you?

Well, she had enough of letting her life be decided by others, and that included any mystical, endorphin-filled reactions to Marcario and Jelani. Every cell in her body ached to feel their touch, but she refused to allow it to rule her mind. There might be some shining examples of why it was wonderful to be mated to someone, but she had enough of being controlled by another person. She was going to make all her own decisions in life, and that included True Mates.

Sloan returned with a beer in hand and passed another one to Marcario before he snuggled against his wife and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Carol wrapped her arm around his waist as she talked to Jelani about the veterinary clinic. Jaxon’s arm remained around Carol’s shoulders. They were never out of physical reach of each other often, and Jessica envied their closeness. She needed to make up her mind what she wanted in life. All she knew for certain was she was tired of waiting and hiding…and her own wants contradicted each other.

She felt a hand brush across her lower back and it was then she realized that the Bennett brothers flanked her. They stood on either side of her, relaxed and content, but neither of them touched her more than that.
They couldn’t be waiting for me to make the first move, right?

Of course, now that she was living her own life, she would have to get used to instigating things. She wasn’t going to stand around and wait for things to happen. She would make them happen, and then walk away when she was finished.

Since they were here it was obvious that they knew about most of the town’s dual personality. Did Jelani recognize her in this form? Probably not, but as much as she wanted to share that part of her, she couldn’t. If she was to stay in control of her own life then she was going to have to keep herself locked away from harm. She watched him from the forest’s edge and knew that he wasn’t sleeping all that well. He had paced circles around the living room before standing against the window’s edge and looking out into the night. His pain-filled gaze had arrowed straight to her heart. Could she alleviate some of the shadows in their eyes and still keep herself safe?

Fine, if I need to make the first move, then that is what I’ll do.
“I’ll see you guys later, okay? I’m going to go for a walk.” She glanced up at each Bennett. “Would you both like to join me?”

“Yes,” Jelani and Marcario replied simultaneously.

Marcario grabbed one hand and Jelani the other and they headed to the doors. She glanced back at Carol, who gave her two thumbs up. Sloan grinned and Jaxon looked as though he wasn’t certain if he should let her go with them. She wasn’t worried, because Carol wouldn’t let him intervene.

Jelani held the door open and she stepped out into the dark night. The moon shone high in the sky and the temperature felt as if it had warmed up a bit even though it was still cold. Jelani’s hands were in his pockets and when he grasped hers it felt so incredibly warm. A faint memory tugged at her, and she laughed.

“Jelani do you have those hand warmers in your pockets again?”

He laughed, “Yes, and I have them in my boots, too. It’s too damn cold in the winter.”

“He can’t sleep unless he’s curled up into an electric blanket, either.”

“Does the cold bother you?”

“No, not really and not as much as Jelani.” Marcario looked up at the clear, star-studded sky “It’s a beautiful night out. I bet the sun melts a bunch of this snow over the next few days.”

“How long are you both here for?” There, it was out. As much as she wanted to deny what the deepest part of her soul felt, she had to know how long they had together.

“A couple weeks I guess, unless we get a call sooner.” Marcario unconsciously rubbed the muscles in his upper arm.

She nodded at his shoulder. “Can you go with that kind of injury?”

“It’s pretty much healed up,” Marcario answered. “I want to get back to doing something. I had a lot of fun today, and I’m not feeling as bad as I expected.”

Jessica nodded, but inside her heart receded behind that great wall of steel and broken dreams. She was only going to get a couple weeks with them. That’s all?
No, it was a good thing.
This way she could move on with her life. Be the independent woman she used to be. The old Jessica was still healing, but she was back, and there was no way she would put herself in danger again.

“What about you, Jess?” Jelani ran his fingers through the hair that framed her face.

“What do you mean?”

“How are you healing?” Marcario stepped up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Instead of fear, she felt an overwhelming urge to give in to these deeper feelings. She could, but the trick would be to make certain her heart stayed out of it.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “It took a while to get back to myself but I’ve learned some valuable lessons.”

Jelani frowned slightly at her. “No lesson you learned from him would be worth knowing.”

“I disagree. I learned not to give myself over to another person and give them everything I have. That’s not love, that’s ownership, and all I have is an empty shell.”

“But what if they give you everything in return and fill up that hole?” Jelani looked so sincere. That kind of stuff worked in romance novels, not in real life.

“It doesn’t work like that,” she replied.

“It should. You need to be spoiled and protected and allowed to explore what you want in life without fear of losing yourself.”

“Is that why you both are still living the life you do?”

She could feel the warmth coming off Marcario from where he stood behind her. His words brushed against her ear like a warm caress. “Perhaps, but we know what we want out of life. Neither of us is interested in stealing it from someone else.”

Jelani’s thumb stroked her lower lip and Marcario’s hands slipped down her back to rest on her hips. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

“You remember the old me.”

“You’re still you, Jessica. You have a glowing spirit, are brave and courageous.”

“I’m not brave.”

“Really? You don’t think leaving that jerk in Toronto was brave?” Jelani looked at her as if she was crazy. Maybe she was, because she knew that they could shatter her heart and she wasn’t running away.

“Do you know now many times we see women stay in those situations? You knew what you didn’t want and got out before he destroyed you completely.” Marcario lightly squeezed her hips as he spoke.

Jelani gently turned her attention back to him by cupping her cheek with his hand. “He should have worshiped the ground you walk on instead of making you turn yourself into something that usually only Photoshop can obtain.” The sincerity in his expression tugged at her heart. They would take care of her, she knew that, but then who would take care of the rest of the world?