On Her Own (17 page)

“Just sitting, thinking, and praying.”

“Always did like to hide out in the barn, didn’t you?”

“Jah.”

“I would like to talk to you for a minute if you’re done praying.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

Pop leaned against a wooden beam as he studied Paul. “Your brothers and I could use some help in the fields next week. We were hoping we could count on you.”

Paul shifted uneasily on the bale of hay. “Sorry, but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t leave Barbara in the lurch.”

Pop squinted his pale blue eyes. “She’s not back to work yet?”

Paul shook his head.

“When will she be?”

“I don’t rightly know. She tried working a few hours one day last week, but I think it took its toll on her.”

Pop crossed his arms. “Your mamm tells me Barbara and a couple of her kinner went fishing with you yesterday afternoon.
Doesn’t sound to me like she’s feeling so weak if she can fish all afternoon.”

Paul’s defenses rose as his face heated up. “Sitting on a grassy bank with a fishing pole is relaxing. It’s not hard work like the things we do in the harness shop.”

His father’s face contorted. “Jah, well, it makes me wonder if there isn’t more going on with you and Barbara than just you working for her.”

Paul clenched his fists. Pop had no right to be saying such things, but there had been too many harsh words between them in the past. He didn’t want to respond disrespectfully.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Barbara,” Paul said slowly. “I promised to help her until she’s back on her feet, and I aim to do just that.”

Pop grunted. “And then what?”

“Then I’ll be on my way back to Lancaster County to work in Andy’s harness shop. Fact is, I went to Seymour the other day and phoned Andy to see if my job’s still waiting.”

“And?”

“He’s got a couple of fellows working there now, but he said my job will be waiting for me when I go back to Pennsylvania.”

“Didn’t figure it would be any different.” Pop grabbed his hat and stalked out of the barn, letting the door slam shut behind him.

Paul shook his head. “I guess some things will never change.”

Barbara stood on the front porch of her house. As she watched
her three boys play in the yard, her thoughts took her back to the pond, where she had enjoyed herself so much yesterday. Paul had shown a side of himself she hadn’t known existed. Usually serious, he had joked with her, frolicked with Zachary and Joseph, and seemed genuinely relaxed. He’d even commented on how much the baby was growing and said he was a cute little guy. As long as they stayed away from the topic of the harness shop, Barbara and Paul got along quite well.

“Mama, Aaron’s bein’ mean.”

Barbara whirled around at the sound of Joseph’s voice. “What’s the problem, son?” she asked, leaning over and wiping away the tears glistening on his cheeks.

“Aaron says Paul’s tryin’ to be our new daed.”

Barbara’s mouth dropped open. “Where did he get such a notion?”

“I was tellin’ him how much fun we had at the pond yesterday and how Paul said he wished he had a son like me.” Joseph’s lower lip quivered slightly. “Aaron said Paul was just tryin’ to butter me up. He said that Paul’s a mean man.”

“And what has Paul done to make Aaron think he’s mean?”

Joseph sniffed. “He says Paul’s real bossy and is always givin’ him crummy jobs in the harness shop.”

Barbara pursed her lips. Paul had given Aaron menial jobs to do. But her son was too young to do anything complicated or that required heavy lifting. She also knew the child wanted to help in the shop and figured he would appreciate any job, no matter how small. Aaron had never complained when his father had given him easy chores to do. Barbara suspected Aaron’s dislike of Paul had more to do with not wanting
anyone to take his father’s place.

She tousled Joseph’s curly, blond hair and gave him a hug. “I’ll speak to Aaron about his attitude. In the meantime, why don’t you take Zachary inside? There’s a jar of chocolate chip cookies that Grandma made yesterday on the cupboard. You two can have some with a glass of milk, if you like.”

Joseph smiled, and his blue eyes brightened considerably. “Okay. I’ll climb up on a stool and get us some.” He turned around and motioned for Zachary. “Come inside and have some cookies and milk.”

Zachary darted across the grass like a colt kicking up its heels and bounded onto the porch. When Joseph jerked the screen door open, both boys scampered into the house.

Barbara glanced across the yard. Aaron was seated on the swing hanging from the maple tree, kicking at a clump of grass with his bare toes.

Lord, please give me the right words
, Barbara prayed as she headed for the swing.

Aaron looked up. “I suppose that tattletale Joseph told you we was sayin’ things about Paul Hilty,” he said with a lift of his chin.

She nodded. “Did you tell your brother that Paul was mean and trying to butter him up?”

He nodded. “Jah, and I meant it, too.”

“That wasn’t nice, and it’s not true.”

He grunted. “You haven’t seen the way that bossy fellow treats me whenever I’m in the harness shop. He acts like I’m
dumm
or something.”

“I’m sure Paul doesn’t think you’re stupid, Aaron.”

“Jah, he does.”

“Are the jobs Paul has given you any different from the ones you did for your daed?”

He dropped his gaze to the ground. “Not really, but—”

“Then why do you think Paul’s treating you differently?”

He shrugged.

“You’re still young, Aaron, and Paul’s giving you jobs you’re able to do. If you keep doing them well, I’m sure Paul will give you other jobs as he sees that you’re capable of doing them.”

Aaron stared straight ahead.

“You need to give Paul a chance to get to know you better,” Barbara said. “Maybe you should have gone fishing with us. Then you’d have seen for yourself that he’s not mean.”

“Humph! All Joseph’s been talkin’ about since Saturday is that dumb old fishin’ trip and how much fun he had with Paul.” Aaron wrinkled his nose. “Paul favors my little brothers—that’s for certain sure.”

Barbara knelt and touched Aaron’s knee. “That isn’t true, son. Paul has reached out to Joseph and Zachary, but they’d also reached out to him. If you would give the man half a chance, you and he could become friends, too.”

Aaron started pumping the swing. “I don’t care if he takes ’em fishin’ every day of the week. I’m never gonna like him!”

Barbara wanted to say more, but the words wouldn’t come. It wasn’t likely anything she had to say would change Aaron’s mind. That would have to come from Paul, and since he wouldn’t be staying around Webster County much longer, she doubted there could be a resolution. All the more reason she had to get back to work as soon as possible. If Aaron helped her instead of Paul,
he would be more agreeable.

“Your brothers are having cookies and milk up at the house,” she said. “If you’ve a mind to join them, I’m sure there’s plenty left.”

Aaron kept swinging. Barbara walked away with a sick feeling. Her oldest boy was becoming more belligerent all the time. If he didn’t come to grips with his father’s death soon, would he carry the resentment clear into his adult life? She had to find some way to help him. Maybe if she spoke to her father, he could get through to Aaron.

Barbara headed for the house. When she stepped into the kitchen, she was greeted with a mess. Joseph and Zachary sat at the table with chocolate all over their faces and crumbs covering their light blue cotton shirts. The cookie jar was nearly empty, and an empty bottle of milk sat beside it. The milk was on the floor.

“What happened?” Barbara yelled. “Just look at the disaster you two have caused!”

Joseph gave her a sheepish look. Zachary continued to munch on his cookie.

“Sorry, Mama,” Joseph said. “The milk spilled on the floor.”

Barbara grabbed a sponge from the kitchen sink. So much for the quiet Sunday morning she’d hoped to have. First Aaron’s impossible attitude, and now this!

The baby started to howl from the crib in the next room.

“The boppli’s awake,” Joseph announced.

“I can hear him.” Barbara tossed the sponge onto the kitchen table. “Here, Joseph. Please get things cleaned up while I tend to Davey.” She marched out of the room before he had a chance
to respond. Tomorrow she would work in the harness shop no matter how tired she felt. At least that might bring some sense of normalcy to her life.

F
or the next several weeks, Barbara forced herself to get out of bed early, feed the boys, and send them to her folks’ house. With a renewed sense of determination, she worked in the harness shop three days a week, taking breaks only for lunch and to feed the baby. On the days her father had physical therapy, she took Aaron to the shop so he could help. Dad’s hands had become stiffer, but the therapy and wax treatments seemed to help some.

At Barbara’s request, her father had spoken to Aaron about his attitude. The boy wouldn’t open up to his grandpa, but he seemed a little more compliant while working at the shop. Barbara suspected it might be because she was there, too.

As Barbara cleared the breakfast table, she noticed for the first time in many weeks that her energy level was actually up.
Maybe it’s because my appetite’s back
, she mused.
Or it could be because I’m back doing what I love best—making and repairing leather items. Maybe I can start working full-time soon
.

She placed a stack of dishes in the sink and ran water over them. It wasn’t easy being a full-time mother and running a business, but she enjoyed the work and it did support her family.

“I’m ready to go when you are, Mama.”

Barbara turned at the sound of Aaron’s voice. “I’ve still got to feed the boppli. Why don’t you head out to the shop. Zachary and Joseph are already at Grandma’s, so I’ll be along shortly.”

Aaron’s dark eyebrows drew together. “I’d rather wait for you.”

“But Paul might need you for something.”

Aaron stared at the floor. “Do I have to go now?”

“Jah.”

Aaron huffed and turned toward the door. “Don’t be too long, okay?”

“If I can get your wee bruder to cooperate, I shouldn’t be more than half an hour or so.” Barbara’s heart went out to her melancholy son. “
Naemlich do
, Aaron,” she called.

“I love you, too.”

The door clicked shut, and Barbara hurried into the next room to get the baby. She prayed things would go all right between Aaron and Paul today. She prayed that her full strength would return soon, too.

“Here’s that bread you wanted, Papa,” Nadine said, as she handed
John a loaf of bread with an overly browned crust.

He grimaced. “What happened? Did you forget to check on it while it was baking?”

“Papa, I—”

“You’re fourteen years old, daughter. You ought to be able to bake a loaf of bread without burning it.”

Nadine’s chin quivered, and her blue eyes filled with tears. “I’ll make another batch, and I promise I won’t leave the kitchen until it’s done baking.”

He shook his head. “Never mind. I need to call on Barbara Zook so I can get back to work here.” He held up the bread and studied it intently. “Only the crust is overly brown; I’m sure it’ll taste okay.”

“Papa’s right,” Betty put in as she put away the orange juice. “Some of the bread I’ve made has been overly brown, but it tasted fine and dandy just the same.”

“How come you’re calling on Barbara again?” Nadine asked. “Didn’t you, Mary, and Hannah go there not long ago?”

“That’s right, we did,” Mary said as she washed dishes. “Doesn’t Barbara have time to make bread?”

“I—I don’t know if she’s had time for baking or not,” John sputtered. “She’s got her hands full taking care of the boppli right now, and she’s still looking pretty tired, so I’m sure she would appreciate the bread.” He took a seat at the table.
Maybe now’s the time for me to tell the girls what’s on my mind
.

“How come you’re sitting down, Papa?” Nadine asked. “I thought you were in a hurry to get to Barbara’s.”

“I am in a hurry, but it can wait a few minutes.” He motioned to the four empty chairs across from him. “Why don’t you all
have a seat? I’d like to say something to you.”