One (28 page)

There was nothing. I stood there waiting for something, anything to happen, but nothing came. I closed the coffin and returned the dirt to his grave. I had no other options. Leaving the cemetery I had nowhere to go. I began driving late into the night until I could not drive anymore. I fell asleep in the truck. Closing my eyes I wondered what tomorrow would bring.

Adaptation

When I awoke the next morning it was clear I was still in the same world. Something inside my mind was telling me I must have missed something, but I could not figure out what it was. I continued driving when I realized I was almost to the border between Illinois and Wisconsin. I pulled over at a small motel and decided to write out everything that had happened from the beginning. I hoped that going through everything again step by step would lead me to an answer or at least the next question and that was what led me to here.

With everything I have done if this was just a hallucination I should have been freed. There can only be two possibilities now, either my mind is damaged beyond repair and I will be trapped within my world of one forever or I was wrong and this world is not in my mind, but something else. A world of one cannot sustain itself, there has to be an effect of not only losing the human population, but animals and insects as well. The only thing I can do is continue going until this world dies.

I will be leaving the motel in the morning. I have decided that the best thing to do is continue to survive until I can find an answer and without power the best place to do that would be in the south. In the video I found at the Drake Hotel the lady mentioned Miami; that will be my destination, but first there is one more place I should visit. Before I left I gathered every piece of paper my mother and father had. I believe I know the location of their first home. I feel I should visit it and find the grave of my brother; he deserves an apology too.

I drove to the edge of the state and stopped the truck just before entering Wisconsin. The road and surrounding area was covered in snow, almost a blizzard. The whiteout effect made me think about a story I once read. A boy awoke in the park and desperately searched for his parents. When he attempted to leave his neighborhood, he traveled further and further into darkness until he was forced to turn back. In the end, it turned out he was dead and the darkness was a wall keeping him from leaving the surroundings he knew. The only way for him to escape was to pass on to the life after.

As I looked forward, I could barely see what was on the other side. I pondered if this was my “wall” and that by stepping forward into the white it would push me back, or lead me to my final exit. Perhaps it was just snow and my journey would continue forever.

I have no ending to this story, but unless I discover something new, I will not write any more. Chronicling my life is pointless, either this world is in my mind or everyone is truly gone and no one will ever read this.

No… there could be an end to this story, I will keep my journal with me. There may come a time when I may need to bring this to an end, however, that time is not now. The world it is not a nightmare anymore. I am slowly becoming accustomed to it, even the longer I stand before the snow-drifted road the better I can see ahead of me.

There is one person I have not apologized to and that is Anthony. It will be difficult to find his grave according to what I discovered in my mother’s notes. She was masterful at erasing him from history. I do not know if that is my mission now, but I cannot think of much else that I should do.

My thoughts returned to Ana. I pondered if somehow my meeting with her was real. Perhaps this place is for people like me and only at certain times could I see and interact with them. So many possibilities and I may never know the truth.

I inched closer to the line and stretched out my hand across the border. I felt nothing. I had to smile expecting there to be a Twilight Zone moment, but I soon realized I was not worthy of that. I returned to the truck and drove across the border. The snowfall became heavier and soon I could not see more than a foot in front of me. I was entering uncharted territory and somehow entering the unknown relieved some of the burden of what I did know.

I continued driving blind, but somehow I could feel a presence ahead of me showing me the way. Maybe it was another hallucination or delusion or perhaps it was the way home.