“Well, can we at least start getting the main course on the dining room table? We can’t hold everyone up for one person.”
“Yeah, sure, Mom, Reagan and I will help you. Babe, call Cole again, find out where in the heck he is.” Case got on his phone, and Addison and I went into the kitchen to help get everything on the table.
We’d fully set the table when Case came into the dining room. “I’ve tried four times, it keeps ringing through to voicemail. I guess we can just go ahead and get started without him and when he gets here he can join us. I’m sure he wouldn’t want us to wait on his behalf.”
“Alright, everyone, let's get seated and enjoy this wonderful meal.” Teresa shooed all of us towards the table.
Dinner was spectacular, Addison was lucky she had such wonderful cooks in her family. She and Casey would never have to go without amazing homemade meals. Everyone had stuffed themselves as full as the turkey when Case asked if I would grab the cannoli.
“Casey, you just ate three plates, I think the cannoli can wait until we’ve cleared the table.” His mother scolded. I laughed, getting up to grab them.
Walking into the kitchen, I heard Casey’s phone ring. “Dude, where in the hell are you he asked?” I smiled, assuming it was Cole telling him he was on his way. Plating the cannoli, Teresa came in to help me.
“You seem better today.” She smiled as I opened the box that had the tiramisu in it.
“I am, I thought a lot about what you said. I’m going to talk to Cole tonight and get down to the bottom of it. I love him, and miss him so much, I wish he’d just hurry up and get here, so I could tell him that.”
“I’m glad you thought about it, I know he is going to be elated.” She smiled and pulled me into a hug, grabbing the tray of cannoli. I picked up the dish holding the tiramisu and followed her back in towards the dining room.
“I hope that was Cole telling you he’s almost here, what in the world has taken him so long?” I asked, looking up just in time to notice the entire table staring at me, looks of sheer horror etched on all of their faces. I instantly realized Casey’s mom crying into Mr. Conrad’s shoulder, Addison couldn’t even look at me. I knew this had to be bad. I turned directly towards Casey and noticed that his eyes were in a losing battle with the tears that were welling up inside of them. My heart stopped beating as I sucked in what seemed like my last breath of air. “Case, what’s wrong?” I begged with a shaky voice. No one said a word; they all just looked around at each other.
What is wrong, what the hell happened, where is Cole, why isn’t anyone saying anything?!
I screamed from the inside.
Finally, Casey stood up, gripping the chair, to hold himself up. “Reagan, its Cole” he said, a tear sliding down his cheek. And as if I was moving in slow motion my body went limp; the tiramisu slipping from my fingers crashing loudly onto the floor, shattering at my feet.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Casey, even though, the pain in his stare was beginning to make me nauseous. My body began trembling as Teresa came over and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, trying to make me sit down, but my legs wouldn’t move. It’s as if a magnet was holding my feet to that very spot. Finally, words escaped my mouth, entirely on their own, as my brain had already turned to mush. “What happened?” I whispered.
I could feel the stares of the entire room, peering into me as Casey began to speak. “Cole,” he hesitated, “he’s been in an accident.” My heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Casey’s voice went on, “That was the hospital. I was the last number dialed on his cell phone, so they called me. They suggested that we get there right away,” he paused again and I could hear the anguish in his voice, “it’s not looking good, Reagan.” And with those five words, the identical words the doctor used before my parents had been taken away from me, my heart burst into a million shattered pieces.
Addison was at my side, forcing me into a hug, as the tears began to spill down my cheeks. My breathing began to accelerate, until I heard Cole’s words in my head,
‘Calm down, we’ve really got to work on these panic attacks.’
The sound of his voice echoed in my head, I realized that I needed to get it together and get to the hospital. I could break down later, but right now I needed to be strong for Cole. “Addison, get the car, we need to get to the hospital now.”
She ran towards the garage and I grabbed Casey’s hand, pulling him towards the front door. Addison was waiting for us, so we jumped into the SUV and she hightailed it towards the hospital. Pulling into the emergency room bay, Addison shouted for both of us to get out, “Go! I’ll park the car and find you, just get to Cole.” Casey and I jumped out of the SUV and ran straight to the nurses’ station.
“I’m Casey Conrad, my cousin Cole Conrad was just brought in, I need to get to him. Can you please tell me where he is?” I instantly noticed her eyes widen as she looked to the other nurse, and panic began to rise inside of me all over again.
Pushing it back down for Cole, I leaned over the counter. “Please, can you just tell us where he is? We have to get to him.”
The nurse hit a few buttons on her computer and sighed before responding, “He’s currently still in surgery. As soon as the doctor is available, I’ll let him know the family has arrived.” She paused, it looked like she was trying to gather her thoughts, “Would you two like to wait in one of our private waiting rooms?” she asked sympathetically.
No! No! No! This isn’t good; they don’t give you a private waiting room unless they think their patient isn’t going to make it. Tell her no. Case. PLEASE TELL HER NO!!!
“Yes, please, and ma’am, as soon as you hear anything, would you be sure to let us know?”
“Absolutely.” She forced a smile as she led us down a long hallway towards a private waiting room.
Casey collapsed in the recliner chair, while I paced back and forth in the waiting room. After Addison found us, she and Casey were sitting together talking. I tried to listen to what he was telling her, but everything sounded as if Charlie Brown’s teacher was speaking. After an hour of wearing a hole in the floor, I decided to sit down in the corner, away from everyone who had arrived after us. I pulled my knees up to my chest, unlocked my phone in search of the “Cole” folder I’d stored away in my online file system. Clicking on his name opened a world of memories, and after flipping through picture after picture I’d finally found what I was looking for.
I turned the volume down low, so I would be the only one to hear it before opening the video. And there he was, the love of my life, standing atop of the Grand Canyon. He’d made sure to take a half day of his business trip to Phoenix and go see one of the places he’d wanted to visit since he was a little kid. Tears pricked my eyes as his voice came over the speakers of my iPhone.
“Hey, baby, can you believe I’m here?
It’s incredible, I’ve never seen anything like it.
Well, other than you, of course.
I miss you, so much, and I wish you were here to enjoy this with me.
We’ll plan a trip back, don’t worry.
I can’t wait to get home to you. It’s only been a day and a half, but I feel like it’s been a year.
Anyway, I hope you aren’t working too hard. I’ll be home soon to fix it, if you are.
I love you, so much.”
I touched his face as the movie played over my phone, the tears slowly sliding down my cheeks. As soon as I brought my finger to the screen to start the video over again, the door of the waiting room swung open and the doctor walked in. I stood up as quickly as I possibly could, running straight to Casey’s side, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “I assume you are the family of Mr. Conrad?”
Casey spoke for all of us in his answer, “Yes, can you please tell us what’s going on?”
“Mr. Conrad was in a severe accident at one of his development sites. He was exiting the building from the seventeenth floor when the freight elevator collapsed, while he was inside of it.” I cringed, hiding my face into Casey’s side. He instantly held me tighter. “I don’t have much more regarding the actual accident as I do the surgery. When Mr. Conrad arrived our team began treating him for a traumatic brain injury, as well as several broken bones and collapsed lungs. It wasn’t looking good in the beginning as his brain continued to swell, but, thankfully, we were able to get that under control and begin accessing the rest of his injuries.
“We’ve had to put him into a medically induced coma in order to allow his brain to continue to heal. We’d hoped we could avoid this, but his body was working too hard. This will allow him to rest while the swelling subsides. We’re going to continue to monitor his progress, but we want you all to be aware that the next forty-eight hours are very critical, as the hemorrhaging of the blood in the brain hasn’t fully stopped.” I felt Casey’s body move as he spoke to the doctor, but I again was only hearing muffled voices as I clung to his side, tears rolling down my face.
The doctor began speaking again, “Of course, we’ll ensure he has everything he needs. They’re transporting him now to the Intensive Care Unit. Once he has arrived in his room, the only visitors he’ll be allowed to have are immediately family members, and there’s a two person limit per visit.” My eyes widened as I heard the words immediate family repeat in my head
.
There is no way in hell you are keeping me from being in that room, I don’t give a damn what your rules are.
I thought as the doctor asked if the first two visitors would like to walk with him to the room.
“Yes,” Casey said.
But the doctor went on, “And I’m sorry, but I have to ask your relation to Mr. Conrad.”
“I’m his brother and this is his fiancé,” he answered, pulling me closer to his side, the doctor looking at me for the first time with sympathy in his eyes.
He took a deep breath as he went on, “Okay, if I could just have both of your I.D.’s, I’ll get you the proper hospital passes and be back in just a minute.” We handed him our I.D.’s and he exited the room.
Casey’s mom walked up to both of us, taking her son’s free hand. “Honey, I’m not trying to cause any trouble here, but don’t you think your father should go back with you first? Cole is his nephew, and I’m sure your aunt and uncle would want to hear how he is doing from your father.” My head shot up as I glared at her from under Casey’s arm.
“No, Mom, you and Dad can go in after Reagan and me, but we’re going in first. That’ll give you time to call Uncle Harrison and Aunt Candice. They need to get on a flight and get here.”
“But son…”
“Mom, I said no.” Casey said sternly. The doctor walked back into the waiting room, handed us our hospital stickers and asked us to follow him as he led both Casey and me down the white sterile hallway.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Walking through the doors of the ICU my stomached clenched into a thousand knots, taking in all of the rooms that were filled with patients. The doctor stopped in front of Room 8486, turning to face me and Casey before he opened the door. “I need to warn you, he’s hooked up to a lot of machines and his body is pretty bruised up. It’s possible he can hear you, so don’t act frightened when you see him, just talk to him like you normally would. The calmer you remain, the less stressed Cole will be and, right now, we don’t need any stress on his brain. If you need anything just let the nurses know and they’ll get in contact with me.”
“Thank you so much,” Case replied as the doctor walked off. “You ready?” he asked, looking down at me.
I froze, unable to speak as thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong ran through my brain. “I don’t think I can do this, Case,” I whispered.
His arms wrapped around me, cradling me right up against his chest. “I know this is difficult, but you have to, your voice is the first one he would want to hear, you have to do this for him.” He pushed the door open and stepped in, pulling me in behind him.
Looking up from the floor I saw my everything lying there in a hospital bed. I started at his toes working my way up, counting each bandage, bruise, or stitch that hadn’t been there the last time I’d seen him. His body was black and blue from being tossed like a rag doll in the fall. Needles, which connected to tubes that led to hanging bags, were inserted and taped to the tops of his hands. His chest was bare of clothes, but covered in gauze. I winced at the thought of what the lacerations looked like underneath. Finally, I’d made it to his beautiful face. Behind the clear ventilator hose protruding out of his mouth, numerous staples sealing a deep gash on his hairline, and the dark purple sheen of bruises I saw the man I’d fallen so madly in love with.
Catching my breath, I ran to his side and reached for his hand, even as he lay there lifeless in the hospital bed, a spark still flew through my body at the touch of his skin. The tears began to fall harder as I moved my left hand up towards his head, smoothing his hair as gently as possible. I leaned in and lightly placed a kiss on his forehead, my body trembling as my mouth touched his skin. Lingering there for a moment, I could still smell the scent of cologne on his body. Bringing my face down towards his I kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear.
“Hi, honey,” I whispered, trying to compose my emotions. “I’m here, it’s me, Reagan.” Kissing his cheek again, I went on whispering, so only he and I could hear what I was saying. “Baby, I’m so sorry for everything I put you through. I know this isn’t the ideal time to talk about it, but you just need to know, I don’t care what happened. The only thing I’m concerned about is that you know I love you. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. You’ve got to get better so I can tell you that, please, Cole. I can’t live without you.” The sobs began escaping my throat and Casey quickly pulled me into a hug.
“Shhhh… you can’t cry like this, sweetie, not in here. I know it’s difficult and I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot harder for you, but we’ve got to keep calm for him.”
“I’m trying, Case, I really am, but what if he doesn’t make it, what if I never have the chance to tell him I love him, again?”