One Summerhill Day (The Summerhill Series Book 1) (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ryan sat in the diner waiting for Cait. He had asked her to meet him so he could discuss the case with her. Besides, he still felt bad about how abruptly he had left her the other night. She didn’t understand how the nightmares affected him. He needed to apologize for his rudeness.

He had seen his therapist earlier that day, and they had talked extensively about Cait and Erin. His therapist had tried to talk him into hypnosis. She had had agreed with his father that it might be the only way he could remember everything. His therapist believed that the memory was buried inside him for some reason, and he wouldn’t stop having the nightmares until it surfaced. Much as he tried, only bits and pieces came back to him.

Somehow, he had hoped Gramps would come up with a different solution, but no matter how he tried, everything pointed to the same result—he needed to find out exactly what Chad had said. Hypnosis seemed to be the only surefire way to get answers to his question.

He ran his hand across his chin and glanced up in time to see Cait step inside. With just a glance, his dick took notice. She was gorgeous. He jumped up and made his way over to her so he could kiss her cheek.

First things first. As soon as they ordered, he started in on the case. “Cait, we believe William Jenkins was the one in Buffalo who followed you onto the thruway and forced you off the road. We’re not certain, but he could have been the one that hit you from behind in Summerhill. He quit his job before your incident on the thruway, so it is possible he was in Buffalo. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough proof to arrest him.

“The new information we have is that he is presently in Florida and has been there for a few days. Why he’s in Florida, we don’t know. Hopefully, he has given up on you and plans to move south for good. If so, your worries are over.”

“Do you think he did all that because I turned him down?”

“Who knows? He could have done it for a lot of reasons. Men get crazy over women, especially when they have little self-esteem. We’re just hoping he has given up and is on to a new one in Florida.” He reached for her hand on top of the table.

Caitlyn stared at their intertwined hands. “It all seems so unreal now, so distant, almost as if it never happened. I’m glad you were there to see my car, or I’d almost believe I had dreamed the entire episode.”

“I know. Nothing else has happened, which is good, but it isn’t helping us catch the perpetrator. Even though Jenkins is our primary suspect and he is out of town, if anything at all happens, please let me know. Don’t wait until you see me. Text or call me right away.”

They ate their dinner in silence. Finally Cait said, “Maybe you should try hypnosis, Ryan. That would help you remember what happened.”

He kicked himself for not speaking up sooner. “I’m sorry about the other night. I shouldn’t have run off the way I did. Maybe you’re right. My dad thinks I should try hypnosis, too. I just feel like I didn’t hear everything Chad said to me. There was more, I just don’t recall what it was.”

“Why not give it a try? It could help with your nightmares.”

“Like I told you, that’s completely normal for someone who’s been through trauma. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again around you.”

Cait peeked at him through her lashes. Damn it, he wasn’t handling this right. Hell, he loved her, didn’t he?

Dead silence hung between them. He suddenly couldn’t finish his dinner, and he noticed she wasn’t eating either.

“Aren’t you hungry, Cait? You hardly ate anything. Sorry for my comment. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Actually, that was a total lie, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. The most logical next step was to explain about Erin, but he didn’t think she was ready for that after the conversation they just shared. He had to get answers before he could give himself to her completely. There was no other way.

Cait played with her food, but refused to look him in the eye. “It was a long day, and I have to work tomorrow. I think I just need to go home to bed. I have to get through another day before I can sleep in.”

He walked her out to her car and opened her door for her. “You all right going home alone, or would you like me to follow you and check out your house?”

“Don’t bother. I’m fine. I just need sleep.” She climbed into her car and drove off.

Great. Just great. He’d fucked things up again.

***

Caitlyn trudged into work the next morning, still trying to figure out what had gone wrong with Ryan at dinner. She made a mental note not to ever mention hypnosis to him again, though it bothered her he didn’t know he needed help.

She could barely put one foot in front of the other as she sat through the report on her patients. Mallory had ended up working after all, and Lucille wasn’t around yet, which was a relief. Still, she realized it wasn’t a good sign that the quality of her days was based on the absence of a peer.

It wasn’t particularly busy in the ER, just busy enough to keep her going. Slow days were torture when she was overtired, so she appreciated the steady pace. Around four o’clock, Susan White called her into her office. She only had two patients at the time, and the census was low. Susan instructed her to give Mallory a full report on her patients, then head to her office.

After she finished the report, Mallory said, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t have a good feeling about this. It’s probably about the waste from the other day. Remember when I didn’t get the required second signature?”

“You’re just coming off orientation with me, so maybe she just wants to see how you’re doing. Or maybe you forgot to give an antibiotic or something. Have you given all your meds on time?”

“As far as I can recall, I have. But maybe I missed something. She wouldn’t fire me for that, would she?”

Mallory waved her hand. “Oh, no. I think you have at least three instances per year or something. I don’t know for sure, but I’ve had two med errors over the years, and I’m still here. I’m sure it’s because you’re new.”

Caitlyn wiped her sweaty palms on her scrub pants. She had never been fired before, let alone reprimanded. “Thanks, Mallory. I’ll see you later.”

“Let me know what happens.”

Caitlyn nodded and walked down the hall, dreading this meeting. Hopefully, she wouldn’t get fired for the incident over the narcotic waste. And if Susan asked her about it, should she squeal on Lucille?

She took a deep breath and knocked on the nurse manager’s door.

“Come in, Caitlyn. Please close the door behind you.”

Caitlyn closed the door and sat down. All it took to speed her pulse up was the tone of Susan’s voice.

“I’m sorry to say that I’ve received a couple of other complaints about you, and I wanted to hear your side of it.”

“Okay.” Caitlyn couldn’t think of another word to say to that.

“One of the complaints came from the chart review task force. They said you neglected to get a signature when you wasted Dilaudid the other day? Is that true?”

What the hell. She couldn’t deny it. Of course, it was true. She thought carefully before she answered. “Yes, that’s true. I was unable to find anyone to witness my waste at the time, so I felt I had no alternative.” If she turned Lucille in, it would be her word against Lucille’s, and Lucille had put in way more time here than she had. She might as well take the consequences. She had learned her lesson and would never ask Lucille again. Besides, she really didn’t think she would get fired for one incident.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You know our policy for narcotics, and we cannot bend on that. I find it hard to believe there was no one available, but I’ll take your word for it on this occasion. Please see to it that it doesn’t happen again.” Susan’s lips formed a grim line, showing no sign of a smile.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry and I will make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Well, that wasn’t so bad. That had to be the worst of it. What else had she done? Nothing she could recall.

Susan settled her hands on the desk in front of her. “On to the next issue. I have a complaint from one of your peers that you made her uncomfortable in your break room. She states that you were kissing a policeman during work hours and she was embarrassed by your behavior in front of her.”

“What?” Fucking Lucille had thrown her under the bus again. She couldn’t believe it.

“Did that happen? She claimed it was in the morning between eight and nine.”

Caitlyn’s hands clenched together in her lap. That bitch, that miserable bitch. “Yes, I did kiss Officer Ramsay in the break room when there was no one else in there. Lucille walked in on us and we stopped immediately. I don’t know how that…”

Susan held her hand up. “You have told me enough. I don’t think an employee break room is an appropriate place to be kissing anyone, and might I suggest that you could be compromising your care of your patients if your focus is on your boyfriend and not on them.”

All of this over one kiss? She stared at her supervisor, speechless, trying to maintain her professional demeanor when she was feeling anything but.

“Caitlyn, I am sorry to have to do this, but I suggest that you search for another unit to work in. You already have three complaints in your file. One more incident and I would be forced to fire you. I don’t think you want that on your work record, do you?”

Caitlyn stared at her “May I ask a question?” she finally managed to say.

“Certainly.” Susan folded her hands on her desk and smiled.

“Were all the complaints made by the same person or different people?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not at liberty to answer that question.” She forced another phony smile.

“So you’re taking the word of a miserable, unhappy employee over mine?”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes widened in shock.

Caitlyn held up her hand. “Never mind. Please forget I said that.”

“I’m going to send you home today, though we will pay you for a full day. Please use the next week to search for another position. After that time, I will no longer have any work for you here. I’ll notify nursing administration, and nurse recruitment will be expecting you. Would you like to visit them tomorrow?”

“No, I would like a day to think about my choices. Let’s make it next week, please. I’ll be in on Tuesday.”

“That will be fine.”

Caitlyn was stunned. She put one foot in front of the other and walked into the break room to gather her things from her locker.

What the hell was she supposed to do now?

Chapter Twenty-Six

As soon as she got home, Caitlyn stripped out of her scrubs and stood in the shower, sobbing as she attempted to wash away all the atrocities of her day. She wanted to call Ryan, but their night had ended on a strange note, so she decided not to, choosing instead to sit at her table and stare out her window, transfixed by everything that had happened.

Staring at the lake, she meditated on her life and where it would go next. A knock sounded at her door and Mallory’s voice rang out. “Caitlyn, are you alright?”

Caitlyn let Mallory into the house, then turned and walked back into the great room.

“What happened?” Mallory asked, following fast on her heels.

“I have to leave.”

“What? You’re kidding, right?”

“No, Lucille complained about me kissing Ryan in the break room. Lucille refusing to witness my waste was counted against me, too. That’s three strikes.”

“But they’re all Lucille. Can’t she see that? Did you tell her about what Lucille did with the Dilaudid?”

“No.”

“Why the hell not? That woman is a menace. You have to defend yourself.”

Caitlyn stared at Mallory, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Why bother? What chance do I have? Lucille has been there forever and I just started. Susan won’t take my word over hers.”

“Did she fire you?”

“No. She’s giving me the opportunity to go to another unit, but now I don’t know what to do.”

Mallory walked over and pulled her into her arms. “Oh, Caitlyn. I’m so sorry. I’ve never trusted her, but I had no idea she would do this to you. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I have to think about it. Maybe I don’t even belong in nursing.” Caitlyn moved away and sat down on the couch, crossing her arms in front of her.

“Are you crazy? Of course you do. We need good nurses like you. You’re kind, compassionate, responsible, intelligent, and wonderful with the patients. Lucille’s the one who needs to go. Not you.”

“And where is Lucille going to go? She has been there so long, she’d never make it anywhere else.” Caitlyn mopped at her tears with a handful of tissues from the coffee table.

“No, you’re probably right. I think she hates nursing, but she has nowhere else to go and it eats at her all day. That’s why she’s so miserable. But that’s her problem.”

Neither of them said anything.

“Cait, you aren’t really thinking of leaving nursing are you? Why not try something completely different, like obstetrics or pediatrics? I’ve often thought about switching. I wish I had the nerve.”

Caitlyn shook her head, her breath hitching. “You know, I wanted to be a nurse so I could help people like my mother. But she died, and now I can’t help anyone else either. I feel like I should just give up.”

Mallory sat down, hanging onto the edge of the table. “Your mother? What are you talking about?”

“My mother was an alcoholic. I told you that before.”

“Yes. You had to take care of her?”

She nodded and stared out her window overlooking the lake. “She started to drink after my father died. I mean, she used to have a glass of wine or a beer once in awhile, but not like this. Over the next year, she drank more and more. Before I knew it, I would come home from school and find her passed out at the kitchen table.”

“Oh, Caitlyn. I’m so sorry. How awful for you.”

She turned and stared at Mallory. “But she was all I had left. I loved her so much, and I tried so hard to fix her. I would bargain with her, beg her, promise to clean the house if she didn’t drink, but it never worked. She just continued drinking and it got worse and worse.

“One day, when I was fifteen, I came home and she was lying in her own vomit. I could barely keep from puking myself, but I cleaned her up and got her into bed. Every night I would lie in bed and wonder if my mom would be alive when I woke up. I had nightmares about waking up and finding her dead.”

“How awful. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. And your poor mom to have lost her husband so young.”

“One day, I bargained with God. I came home and I didn’t think she was breathing so I called 911. While I waited for the ambulance, I promised God I would become a nurse if he would just bring my mom back to life. I didn’t know it at the time, but she wasn’t dead. They fixed her. I had to call an ambulance four more times later that year, and I always went with her.

“Eventually, I found the emergency room to be a source of comfort. I knew my mom was safe there, and the nurses were always so nice. They got to know me and let me sleep on a gurney when I brought my mom in. I slept so well because I knew I didn’t have to worry about my mom when I was there.”

“And so you became an emergency room nurse,” Mallory whispered.

“Yep. My mom would always apologize to me the next day. I know she loved me, she just felt lost. So I vowed to help others. And I know she was proud of me. She always paid attention to my grades and bought me nice clothes. In fact, I think she watches over me. I can feel her sometimes, you know? You lost your mom. Have you ever felt that way?”

“Yeah, sometimes I do.”

Caitlyn gathered her thoughts. She felt much better after talking to Mallory. Maybe tomorrow she’d be collected enough to tell Ryan about what had happened.

Mallory reached over and grasped Cait’s hands in hers. “You know what I think? I think you should be in a different type of nursing. And I would love to help you figure out what that is. You’re too good to throw your career away over this.”

“Maybe you’re right. I think I need to think about it for a couple of days. Then I’ll go in and talk to the nurse recruiter, see what else they have available.”

“There are lots of other kinds of nursing, Cait. You don’t even have to work in a hospital. You could work in an office, an outpatient center, or even in rehab. We’ll find something for you.”

“As long as it isn’t pediatrics. I don’t think I’d do well with kids. I have no experience with them.”

“I’m sure we can find something else.” Mallory stood and leaned down to clasp his shoulder. “You’re going to be okay? Is Ryan coming over or anything? Did you call him?”

“No. We had dinner last night, but it didn’t go so well.”

“I’m sorry. Ryan has his share of problems, too, but he is a good guy.”

“I know. I’ll be fine. I’m really tired right now, so I think I’ll find a book and read in bed. I just bought a romance that’s supposed to be good. I need to go live in another world for a couple of hours.”

“Great idea.” Mallory hugged her, then turned to leave. “Call or text me, anytime.”

“Are you working tomorrow?”

“No, I’m off for two days, so I’ll be around.”

Caitlyn walked her to the door. “Thanks for stopping by, Mallory.”

After Mallory left, she locked the door, climbed the stairs, and fell into bed. She was asleep in an instant, dreaming about a green-eyed policeman with brown hair and a scruffy beard.

***

Erin had called Ryan and asked if she could see him on Sunday afternoon. He had agreed. He paced in his front room while he waited for Erin, having no idea what she wanted. Cait, Cait was the woman he wanted, and the one he couldn’t get out of his mind. He wanted to marry her and would propose immediately if he didn’t have this entire other situation looming over him. Yes, she wanted to fix him, but didn’t everyone in his life?

He jumped when the doorbell rang, and he was glad to see Erin standing there when he opened his front door. “Hi, Erin. Come on in. I could have come to your house.”

Erin stared at his feet. “I know, Ryan. But I need to talk to you, and I didn’t want to do it in front of Sammy. So I came on my own. I hope that’s okay.” She lifted her gaze to meet his and smiled.

“Yeah,” Ryan said, standing back. “Come in. Come in and sit down.”

She sat down on the couch. “Do you want me to hang up your coat, Erin?”

“No, this won’t take long.”

Now he was really thrown off. What the hell was she going to say? Grabbing the chair opposite her, he sat down, trying to appear composed, when his stomach was in a knot. He wiped the sweat on his palms off on his pants and sat on the edge of the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He hoped she wasn’t about to tell him she had changed her mind about their dating. What the hell would he do then?

“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked.

“No, thank you.” She took a deep breath. “I need to be completely honest with you, Ryan. I apologize that I haven’t been before today, but Sammy adores you, which has made my decision difficult.”

Ryan noticed the same signs of stress in Erin that he was experiencing.
Just get it out, Erin.

She sighed before she continued. “I’m getting married next month.”

Ryan was stunned. Hell, nothing could have shocked him more.

“What?”

“I know you feel some kind of responsibility toward us because you were so close with Chad, but things were not what you thought.” She stared at her hands. Lifting her gaze to his, she said, “Sammy isn’t Chad’s son.”

Shit, no, that
was
more shocking. He stared at her, not sure he’d heard her right.

“Please don’t judge me. I couldn’t bear it from you.”

He could tell she was about to cry, her eyes misting as she spoke. She reached into her purse for a tissue.

“I missed Chad while he was away, and I was so lonely. I hated that he was in the army. I met this guy, and one thing led to another, and we fell in love.”

Silence filled the room. What could he say?

“When Chad came home on leave, I told him about the pregnancy and said I wanted a divorce, but he wouldn’t even talk about it. He just left without even speaking to me. I felt so guilty. But when he was deployed, I needed him and he wasn’t here.”

“Chad knew?”

She nodded. “John, my fiancé, told me to let him go. He thought Chad just needed some time to process what had happened.” Erin wrung her hands in her lap. “The next thing you know, the army was at my door telling me of the accident and his death, and I fell apart. I was so afraid that I had something to do with his death, that he did something careless because he was upset…”

Ryan stood up. “No, there was no preventing his death.”

“That’s why I asked you about it again the other night. You know, I don’t think he was asking you to take care of us, Ryan. I know you feel obligated to be there for Sammy and me, but you don’t need to feel that way. He knew I was pregnant and that Sammy wasn’t his. He knew I was in love with someone else, so he must have been trying to tell you something different. I just don’t know what that was.”

Silence descended again and all he could hear was the hitching of her breath. He thought about Chad and how devastated he must have been. Shit, he had been upset after leave, but Ryan had figured it was because he didn’t want to leave a pregnant wife alone in the states while he was stationed in Iraq.

“When Chad died, I stopped seeing John because I couldn’t handle the guilt. But we just recently got back together, and he proposed. I love John with all my heart, and it’s time to make things right by him.”

This changed everything.

Erin stood. “I guess that just about says it all.” She stared at the wall. “Well, one more thing. John and I would appreciate it if you didn’t come to see Sammy again. We’re getting married and moving to Churchville on the other side of Rochester. John works there.”

“Have you talked to Sammy about this?” He couldn’t just walk out on the kid. Granted, he wasn’t Chad’s son, but he was still an important part of his life.

“Yes, that’s why I waited until today. We’re moving next week. I'm hoping to get everything sold and moved into a new house before the wedding. I gave birth to Sammy while I was married to Chad, so Chad’s name is on his birth certificate, but John is his true father. He plans to adopt him, but our wish is to move away and raise him as our son, no questions asked. When he gets a little older, we’ll explain everything to him, but John wants to start fresh. ”

Ryan stood. Where did he go from here? He walked her out the front door and gave her a kiss and a hug. “Best of luck to you. Tell Sammy I’ll miss him.”

“I will. Thanks, Ryan, for everything.” And just like that, Chad’s wife walked out of his life.

He didn’t have to feel guilty for not marrying Erin. For some reason, he wanted to jump for joy. But the thought of what his best friend had gone through stopped him.

So what had Chad been trying to tell him?