“I don’t want to get married to you. We don’t even like each other!”
“We
liked
each other well enough last night,” he reminded her, his heated gaze running over her skin like warm sunshine.
Lynn felt as if he’d actually touched her. “
That
was just sex.” Her tone was defiant.
“It was hot sex, honey. The best sex I’ve had in a long time.”
Her eyes widened as she absorbed the shock of his words. A pleasurable sensation traveled through her. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him how long, but she caught herself from blurting her thoughts. Instead, she said, “But it was a mistake! It only hap
pened because of the circumstances last night that led up to it.” Her voice shook slightly, and she stared at him.
“A mistake?” His laugh was wry. He knew when a woman was naturally responding to him, and Lynn was all over him last night. “A few beers and a little champagne were the reasons you responded so eagerly when I made love to you?” He regarded her silently and struggled with the effort to keep his temper under control. “So, you’re saying now, in the light of day and without the mood of last night and a little alcohol, you wouldn’t respond the same way?”
“I’m saying it doesn’t matter.” Her voice lost some of its boldness as she adjusted the sheet, tucking it under her arms so that it wouldn’t come loose.
“It doesn’t?” One of his eyebrows quirked up.
“Last night is over. This engagement between us is a
pretend
engagement.”
“Were you pretending last night?” Russ demanded, still annoyed that she could dismiss what happened between them so easily.
“I—”
“Are you saying you were pretending when you begged me to come inside you?”
“Russ, please—”
“When you screamed my name and came apart in my arms?” he asked, studying her. “Lynn, honey, you’re lying.”
“Oh, no, I’m not,” she declared, clasping her hands together to keep them from shaking. How had she let him back her into a corner over this? She didn’t want to argue with him. She had her own agenda—starting her own horse ranch. Growing up
under the control of three older brothers while trying to assert her independence had been difficult, and she just wanted a chance to prove herself. Though she knew her brothers loved her and wanted what was best for her, Lynn was ready to think for herself, make her own decisions.
And she didn’t
want
to be attracted, physically or otherwise, to Russ Logan.
“Prove it.”
“What?” she gulped.
Russ let his gaze slowly slide over her. “Come over here and prove it, honey,” he said evenly, the determination inside him fueled by her persistence that what happened between them was a fluke and by the fact that he was now
engaged
to her.
She retreated a step, then silently cursed herself for it. “I will not!”
Russ pinned her gaze with his. “Come over here now, Lynn.”
“No.”
His jaw muscle twitched as he walked over to her. Without speaking, he touched her chin with his finger and lifted her face so he could look into her eyes.
“Come on, honey, show me how much you
don’t
want me.”
He moved closer, crowding her space. Trapped, Lynn felt the bed behind her legs, preventing her from moving. Russ lifted his hand and gently stroked her neck with the back of his fingers. Her eyelids closed as pleasure began a torturous flow through her body.
“Kiss me,” he commanded.
“No,” she answered, opening her eyes slowly and looking at him. Her answer held little conviction as awareness tightened the tension between them. The
air in the room became thick and heavy, making it hard to breathe. She leaned toward him, her nipples hardening beneath the sheet as her breasts swelled.
“Kiss me,” he said again, dropping his hand away from her.
Though his words were still a command, they came out sounding more like temptation. Lynn opened her mouth to tell him no again and felt his hot breath skim her lips. Her lungs seemed starved for air. He didn’t touch her, but, oh, how she wanted him to. Her entire body tightened with desire as the heat of his skin penetrated hers, luring her closer.
Her teeth clinched her bottom lip as she looked at his mouth. She licked her lips, and she didn’t know how he managed it, but he moved closer, aligning his body with hers so that they touched from chest to knees. The friction between them felt like icy fire.
“Show me,” he whispered, then he bent his head toward her. Her lips parted, and he caught her lower lip with his teeth, biting it gently, then letting it go. “Show me, honey,” he whispered.
“Russ.” Lynn raised her hands, but instead of using them to push him away, she slid them over his bare chest, then up to his cheeks, holding his face near hers. “This is insane.” Her words came out in a rush of breath. Seeing he wasn’t going to let it go, she gave in and brushed her mouth against his.
What started as a simple kiss changed so suddenly that Lynn didn’t have time to think. All she could comprehend was the vortex of need that consumed her as his tongue invaded her mouth, touching the tip of hers.
Someone groaned. Lynn thought it was her, but she wasn’t sure, wasn’t aware of anything except the
heady feel of Russ’s lips on hers, the pressure of his hard body as she moved closer to him. She lifted her mouth from his, caught her breath in a snatched moment, then she pressed her mouth against his again. Her hands slid to his neck and tightened, and she strained on her toes to fuse her lips against his.
Finally, he pulled away from her and she opened her eyes. Everything inside her had shifted. Her wants, her needs, her focus. What had happened? Though she felt as if she’d been ravaged, she realized he hadn’t even touched her. His hands were still hanging by his side. She was shocked and quite embarrassed that it was her, not Russ, who appeared so moved by their kisses.
“This, um, doesn’t prove anything,” she said, pulling her hands away from him. She scooted around him and started to gather her clothes. Bending down she snatched up her blue dress.
Stepping back a little, Russ grinned lasciviously. “Yeah, right.” Oh, he was in trouble. If he’d kissed her any longer, he’d have pulled the sheet off of her, pushed her down on the bed and taken her again.
Furious at her response to him, she straightened and squared her shoulders. Then, out of the blue, another disturbing thought hit her.
“Condoms!” Her eyes widened, and she drew in a sharp breath as she ran to the bed. Clutching the sheet to help keep it in place, she whipped the remaining tangled covers from the bed and tossed the pillows willy-nilly. “Oh…dammit!” Dropping to her knees, she threw herself on the floor and searched beneath the bed for torn-open empty packets. Then she came up slowly, her head showing first, her eyes filled with dread.
“We didn’t use any protection, did we?” she wailed.
His expression deeply regretful, Russ shook his head. “Not that I remember,” he admitted, confirming the worst.
He usually always took precautions.
Always.
Except last night.
Lynn sank onto the bed, then bent forward, holding her head with her hand. “Oh no, no, no.”
Russ walked over to her, not believing he’d caused yet another complication. He just couldn’t get a break here. “Damn, Lynn, I don’t know what to say, except that I really screwed up.” That was an understatement of humongous proportions.
“You mean
we
screwed up.”
Russ grunted. “I’m the one who should’ve been concerned with protecting you,” he insisted. “I don’t usually drink enough to cloud my brain. Last night was an exception, rather than a rule.” He looked down at her, feeling like a fool. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. Since we’re getting married, it’ll be all right if you’re pregnant.”
“I
am not going to be pregnant!” She said it with confirmation, staring steadfastly at him. “And I am not going to marry you!”
Russ’s lips thinned, and his green eyes glittered. “Yes, you are.” His tone made it sound like a done deal.
“No, I’m not!” She almost stamped her foot, but quickly realized how childish it would appear.
He bent down toward her, putting his face so close in front of hers that she could see the tiny veins in his eyes. “I…don’t…lie.”
She jerked her head back. “What?”
“I gave your brother my word, and I mean to abide by it.
You
are the one who forced this issue, and you’re just gonna have to live with whatever problem you created.”
Though momentarily impressed by his integrity,
she wasn’t going to let him bully her. “We’ll think of something. Wait, I know!” she said in a rush. “We’ll pretend for a while we’re getting married, just long enough to be sure I’m not pregnant, which, I repeat, is not going to happen. As soon as we know for sure I’m not, then we’ll stage a fight and break off our engagement.”
“That’s ridiculous. Your brothers aren’t gonna fall for that,” Russ scoffed.
“Let’s not worry about it right now. For the moment, Ryder’s happy, and you have your job. That’s the important thing.” Darting around him as well as she could with the sheet around her legs and feet, Lynn hurriedly gathered her clothing. “In the meantime, I’m getting dressed and getting out of here.”
Russ bit his tongue. He started to push his argument with her, then stopped himself. In a short time she’d realize just how serious he was. He’d given Ryder his word. He wasn’t going back on it, no matter what she said. “Fine.”
She snapped her head around and looked up at him, and a flush gave her cheeks a rosy tone. “Fine.” She walked toward the bathroom. “I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes.” Stepping inside, she closed the door behind her, then wished she could sink into the earth and disappear.
We’re getting married!
What
had
she been thinking? Jeez, having an impulsive nature, she’d been known to put her foot in her mouth more than once, something her three brothers had teased her about more often than not. But this time she’d really done it.
Okay, maybe she had spoken hastily, but she didn’t understand Russ’s hostile attitude. He sure as heck
didn’t seem to appreciate her idea of breaking up a pretend engagement, either. Instead of fighting her on it, the man should have been thanking her for saving his job!
He’d looked positively thunderous and intimidating moments ago when he’d said he was going to marry her. A chuckle escaped her lips as she slid on her panties and bra, then arranged the dress so she could slip it over her head.
What a ridiculous thought! She and Russ getting married. Lord have mercy, the last thing she wanted was to be tied down with a husband. She’d lived with her three older brothers telling her what to do her entire life. Now that she was old enough to make her own decisions, she certainly wasn’t going to do something stupid like get married and let another man tell her what she could and couldn’t do. She wasn’t going to throw away her hopes and dreams.
Now, honestly, she’d have to admit that being with Russ last night
had
been something she’d never forget. She shivered as she remembered the delicious sensation of him stroking her body with his big hands and the tantalizing feel of his tongue on her skin. The taste of him still lingered in her mind. Being initiated into lovemaking by Russ had definitely been the high point of her life.
But as wonderful as it had felt being with him, it wasn’t real. They weren’t in love, or for that matter, anything close to it. Heavens, all of this fuss just because she’d made a little mistake. Well, maybe sleeping with Russ
was
more than just a little mistake, she amended silently, struggling to zip up the back of her dress.
She looked in the mirror and studied her image as
memories of being in his arms continued to taunt her. Did she look any different, she wondered? She shook her head as if to shake away the thought. No, of course not. That flush in her cheeks was from embarrassment—not from learning what it was like to have a man make love to her.
Or to have Russ Logan make love to you.
Frowning, she looked down at the bathroom counter and picked up a bottle of his cologne. She sniffed at the cap, and the scent of him filled her senses. She closed her eyes and the memory of feeling him moving inside her assaulted her. She swayed, then put her hand against the counter, catching herself.
Oh, heavens! How could she face him day after day after what they’d done last night?
She opened her eyes and stared at herself. Okay, she’d just have to grin and bear it. Seeing him every day would get easier, right? Eventually, it would be as if it had never happened.
Squaring her shoulders, she brushed her hands through her hair, but it still looked quite mussed. Grabbing Russ’s comb, she ran it through her hair several times, giving it some order. Using a piece of bathroom tissue, she wiped traces of her tears from under her eyes.
She took a deep breath, deciding she was looking as good as she was going to under the circumstances. As she opened the bathroom door, her gaze landed on Russ. He hadn’t moved. He was staring at her, his jaw set tight, his expression just as rigid.
“I’ll, uh, just get out of here,” she said, frowning and looking away. Russ didn’t say a word. Swallowing past the knot in her throat, Lynn looked around
the room for her heels. She spotted them on the floor at the foot of the bed. Quickly, she walked over and scooped them up, then went to the door. But she couldn’t bring herself to just walk out as if nothing had happened between them. As much as she wanted to ignore it, there was no disputing that they’d crossed an invisible line in their working relationship.
Still, what could she say? By the way, thanks for giving me a night I’ll never forget? While she’d never really gotten along with Russ, she’d always been aware of his masculinity, of his virility. She’d just never dreamed he’d be the man who’d teach her about making love. Nor had she any idea that making love with him would make her so aware of her own sexuality.
Turning to face Russ, she caught her bottom lip with her teeth. “Um, I guess I’ll be seeing you. I’m, uh, sorry about all this. I mean, the trouble and everything.”
Russ’s expression relaxed a fraction. Damn her! She looked so adorable trying to say something that wouldn’t sound awkward. But there was nothing either of them could say to make this all go away.
The damage was done. She was going to have to face it. Instead of challenging her, he decided to let her go, knowing she’d soon realize just how serious he was about doing the honorable thing and marrying her.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, too,” he said quietly.
But as she walked out the door and closed it behind her, he knew he wasn’t sorry about everything. He was sorry as hell that he’d messed up. He was sorry he’d taken her virginity when under normal circum
stances, he’d have never allowed himself to get close enough to her for that to be a possibility.
He wasn’t sorry he knew what it was like to make love to her.
As he walked into the bathroom to shower, Russ thought about the position they were in. Maybe Lynn didn’t think marriage was a good idea, but he knew it was the only answer. He didn’t give his word lightly. Ryder had looked him directly in the eyes and asked if Russ was going to marry his sister. Unable to lie about the situation, Russ had gone along with Lynn’s ruse, knowing in his heart that he’d meant it.
Turning on the shower, he adjusted the water temperature and stepped inside, letting the hot spray cover his body. He knew he was in dangerous territory. He’d made up his mind a long time ago not to get emotionally involved with another woman, and until he’d ended up in bed with Lynn McCall, he’d had no trouble sticking to his plans to remain single and detached.
His wife had taught him a hard lesson, but he’d been a quick learner. Her rejection had stung, but it had also toughened his skin. Despite what had happened between him and Lynn, he wasn’t going to allow her close enough to hurt him. He had a suspicious feeling that if he did, her rejection would hurt ten times more than Candace’s.
Looking back at his past, he’d married Candace because he’d been searching for the American dream—a house, a loving wife, a family. Not that he hadn’t cared for her—he had, as much as he’d allowed himself to. And apparently his feelings for her had been a hell of a lot deeper than hers for him.
While he’d been busy building them a secure life together, she’d been running around on him.
Well, hell, he didn’t need more sorrow, didn’t need a fresh taste of feminine rejection. His relationship with Candace had left a bitter taste in his mouth that hadn’t diminished despite the years that had passed. He wasn’t going to put his heart on the line for Lynn McCall to stomp on. He’d keep his emotions out of this dilemma.
Reaching over and turning off the water, he reminded himself that his emotions really had little to do with it. He’d given his word. That was basically the story in a nutshell. His heart wasn’t in danger because he wasn’t in love with Lynn. Even if he married her, he’d keep it that way. Besides, he knew it wouldn’t be a forever-after kind of relationship. Hell, it wouldn’t even be a real marriage.
Of course, if she was pregnant with his child, that would change the stakes quite a bit. But what were the chances of that happening? As he dried off and began to dress, he berated himself for putting her at risk. Crockett was a town where everyone knew each other. The people were far from liberal, and they had their share of meddlers who would jump on the tiniest tidbit of information, turn it into a scandal and feed on it for months. He hated thinking he would be the one responsible for starting rumors about Lynn.
Pulling on his jeans, he tucked in his black short-sleeved shirt, then buckled his belt. He sat down on the bed and yanked on his socks and boots. After slapping on some cologne and combing his hair, he grabbed his hat and left his quarters, then headed across the wide, dusty yard to the main house where the McCall family lived.
Though it was the end of summer, Mother Nature apparently hadn’t noticed. The hot, Texas sun baked down on him, and he was nearly working up a sweat as he approached the house. The ranch-style structure was massive, and there was an ongoing construction project creating a new wing for Ryder, Ashley and their babies. Shaking his head, Russ chuckled to himself. Ryder had sworn he’d never marry and here he was about to have his third child in little over a year!
Taking the wooden porch steps two at a time, Russ stopped at the front door. Though he’d often been told to come in without knocking, it had never quite felt right. He hesitated briefly, then rapped his knuckles solidly on the screen door. A moment later, Ashley swung open the front door.
“Russ!” Her big brown eyes lit with excitement as they met his. “Ryder told me the news. Oh, my goodness, Russ Logan, you get in here and give me a hug!” Her grin was as welcoming as a cool breeze on a sweltering summer night.
Before Russ had a chance to prepare himself, she flung the screen door open and reached for him, pulling him as close as she could due to her enlarged belly. She was so exuberant, he had to put his arms around her to steady her. When she finally let him go, he stepped back and slowly met her gaze. Her eyes were shining as though she’d discovered the secret to a lifetime of happiness.
“Oh my gosh! You and Lynn getting married,” she went on, not giving him a chance to speak. “I’m so happy for you both.” Grabbing his arm, she looped hers through it and drew him toward the large den.
Russ gave her a slight nod and a forced grin. “Thanks,” was all he could manage to say. He and
Lynn still had a lot to discuss, and he’d been hoping she’d be the one to greet him at the door. He wasn’t sure what he should be saying to Ashley and figured the less said, the better.
Matt, Jake’s twelve-year-old son, came rushing past them, knocking into Russ as he raced toward the door. “Oops! Sorry, Russ,” he said, breathing hard. “Ryder said I could go along with him while he was working today if I could get ready and be outside in time. Gotta go.” He raced out the door and took off toward the barn.
“He’s settled in nicely, hasn’t he?” Russ commented, not really expecting an answer.
“Quicker than anyone expected,” Ashley agreed. “He’s a great kid, and despite the fact that there was only his mother and him for so long, he appears to love being a part of a large family.” As soon as they walked into the den, two dark-headed babies crawled over to them as fast as they could move.
The next thing Russ knew, one of the babies, Melissa, he thought, was tugging on his leg in an effort to pull up and stand on her feet. Automatically, he bent down and picked her up. Though the twins looked alike, their personalities were very different. Melissa loved everyone, but Michelle tended to prefer her mom and dad’s attention.
“Catherine and Jake are sure to be surprised when they hear the news about you and Lynn. I can’t wait for them to return from their honeymoon,” Ashley remarked, picking up Michelle. She kissed the top of the baby’s head.
“Yeah,” Russ muttered, trying his best to remain evasive as he studied Melissa’s smiling face. As he looked at the baby, he thought about Lynn. She could
be carrying his child right now! His heart jumped at the thought.
When he’d left Candace, he’d made up his mind that he’d never give his heart to another woman, which pretty much sealed his fate as far as having children was concerned. He thought he’d adjusted to the idea that he’d never be a father.
The possibility of Lynn being pregnant brought his earlier desires for a home and family to the surface. Though he didn’t really
want
her to be pregnant, he couldn’t deny the longing he felt inside. But he quashed it before he let his mind run with it, knowing it would be ridiculous for him to entertain such a foolish notion.
Lynn might have made love with him, but if she’d been in her right mind, she’d never have ended up in his bed. He couldn’t forget that.