“To tell you the truth, I’ve sort of suspected that maybe you and Lynn had feelings for each other,” Ashley commented, interrupting his thoughts.
Russ’s head whipped around, and his eyes connected with hers. “What?” He couldn’t possibly have heard right. What would make Ashley think that? he wondered.
“Oh, come on, Russ,” she told him, a teasing smile on her lips. “You and Lynn have had more confrontations than a bull and a matador. I just couldn’t help suspecting that there was something brewing between you two.”
The muscle in his jaw worked back and forth. He couldn’t really deny what Ashley was implying without giving away his and Lynn’s secret that last night was the first time they’d ever been together. And he hated not being totally truthful. Damn Lynn for get
ting him into this mess! And where the hell was she anyway?
Gritting his teeth, he glanced toward the doorway leading to the hall and bedrooms. “Is she around?” he asked, sounding impatient even though he was trying his best to act as if his whole life hadn’t been turned upside down.
“I think she’s dressing. She should be done any minute.”
Ashley sat on the sofa, then motioned for Russ to take a seat. He politely declined, preferring to stand. He couldn’t sit still. He felt jumpy inside, as if all his emotions were bouncing around like heated molecules. He couldn’t get a grip on relaxing because all he could think about was Lynn and how she made him feel.
“You know, this really is exciting,” Ashley went on. “Ryder and I had an impromptu wedding, as did Catherine and Jake. It’ll be fun to plan a really big wedding for a change.” Russ frowned, and she chuckled. “It won’t be too bad, I promise.” Hearing footsteps, she turned her head toward the door.
Lynn walked into the room, then stopped suddenly when she saw Russ. He took one look at her and felt as if he’d received a hard punch to his gut. Gone was the beautiful, sexy woman he’d spent the night loving. In her place he saw the young woman he’d watched grow and change over the time he’d been working at the Bar M.
She had on worn, snug-fitting blue jeans, along with a blue-flowered tank top that hugged her breasts. His gaze strayed to them and stayed there a moment too long, long enough for him to remember what it felt like to lick them with his tongue, suck her nipples
into his mouth. Feeling his body grow hard with desire, he stepped behind the sofa. Jerking his gaze back to hers, he swallowed hard and wondered where in the world his good sense had disappeared to.
He shouldn’t be thinking about Lynn like that, but he just couldn’t help it. One night with her had given him an idea of what it would be like to make love to her for the rest of his life.
Don’t go there. Don’t torture yourself.
He wasn’t the right man for Lynn, and he damn well knew it. Just because their sexual chemistry was right, didn’t mean they were right for each other in all the other ways where it counted.
Besides, he’d never be able to give her his heart. Lynn deserved a hell of a lot more from the man she’d spend the rest of her life with.
What he should be thinking about was the problem at hand. He’d go along with her on the engagement for a while, until he could marry her like he’d promised. But he’d damn sure keep his hands off of her from now on.
“Oh, hey, Lynn,” Ashley said, greeting her sister-in-law. “I was just telling Russ how much fun it’ll be to plan a real wedding. By the way, have you two decided on a date?”
“A date?” Lynn repeated, sounding confused.
“Yes, silly girl, a date!” When Lynn still didn’t respond, Ashley added in a prompting tone, “for the wedding.”
Panic-stricken, Russ unconsciously clutched the baby in his arms a little tighter. His gaze confronted Lynn’s across the room. He could see that she was thinking of something to say, but he wasn’t sure what would come out of her mouth.
“We haven’t decided on a date yet,” he stated quickly, trying to think of something that would throw Ashley off track. “We didn’t want to horn in on Catherine and Jake’s impending nuptials. But now that they’re married and the cat’s out of the bag, so to speak, we’re on our way to San Luis to pick out a ring.”
Surprise registered on Lynn’s face a split second before she concealed it and shot him a warning look. Despite her attempt to smile, her lips thinned. Well, that was just tough. She was the one responsible for this whole fiasco, not him.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked, moving toward her with Melissa in his arms. Stopping close to her, he put his arm around her shoulders while he held the baby against his chest.
“A…ring?” she asked, and her voice cracked.
“Sure, honey. Remember we talked about it this morning?” Russ said smoothly, trying his best to appear normal and encouraging her to also. She seemed small and fragile standing next to him, and he felt her whole body tremble.
Lynn forced a smile to her lips. Though she was so angry it was a miracle smoke wasn’t coming out of her ears, she tried her best to appear happy. “Oh, um, yes.”
Russ looked at Ashley. “Where should I deposit this little one?” he asked, nodding at Melissa. Ashley leaned over and put Michelle on the floor, then told Russ to do the same with Melissa. He stepped away from Lynn long enough to put the baby down, then straightened and reached for Lynn’s hand. Grasping it firmly, he tugged her toward the door.
“We’ll see you later, Ashley,” he called over his shoulder.
Lynn tried to pull her hand away, and Russ shot her a hard glare. She relented, not wanting to make a scene in front of her sister-in-law. She quickly said goodbye and let Russ lead her out the door. But she had no intention of going anywhere with him, and that especially included picking out an engagement ring!
Once they were outside and alone, Russ practically dragged her down the steps. “Will you come on?” he bit out, turning around and facing her.
“Let me go!” Lynn rasped, fuming.
Russ stopped, but firmly held on to her hand. “No. I’m not going to stand here and make a scene in front of Ashley or anyone else within hearing distance. You’ve caused enough havoc in my life right now without adding more!”
“Me?” Lynn shot back, her lips twisting with anger. “
You’re
the one who just told Ashley that we’re going to get a ring.”
“Well, what else could I say?” he retorted. He started walking, heading across the yard to his truck, pulling her along with him. “You were the one who told your brother we’re getting married. Besides, what if you’re pregnant?” They rounded the back of the building where he lived, and he stopped beside his black pickup.
“Shhh!” Lynn grated in a hushed tone. “Lower your voice!” She glanced around and was relieved that no one was near enough to have overheard him. “Do you want everyone to know that’s a possibility?”
Russ flashed her a regretful frown. “Sorry. I’m just
trying to do the right thing here. You told Ryder we’re getting married. He and Ashley think we’re engaged. Before long, other people will, too. So we’re going to get a ring. Otherwise, everyone will wonder why you aren’t wearing one,” he reasoned.
Lynn felt panic rise inside her. She hadn’t thought of that. This whole thing was getting way out of hand. She’d only been trying to save Russ’s job, and now they were in a huge mess that was getting deeper and deeper. He opened the door for her and indicated for her to get in. Feeling as though she was losing control of her life, Lynn hesitated.
“Look, like I said, you created this farce. Now we’re both gonna have to live with it until, as you said, we figure a way out of it.” And to Russ, that meant he was going to marry her. He’d promised. He wasn’t going back on his word. “Now, get in the truck.”
Lynn glared at him with fire in her eyes. She started to get in, then stopped and turned, and her hot gaze confronted his. “Listen, and listen good. You and everyone else had better understand something. Don’t take this personally, but I have plans to live my life my own way—and they
don’t
include a husband. Not now or anytime in the near future!”
A
s Russ went around the pickup and got in behind the wheel, Lynn made work of buckling her seat belt. Heat had built up inside the cab, and the air was stifling, already causing her blouse to stick to her skin. She fanned herself with her hand as he fastened himself in. With jerky movements, he started the engine, then switched on the air-conditioning. Shifting the truck into gear, he pulled away from the ranch.
As he concentrated on driving, Lynn looked over at him. His worn jeans gloved his body, and she thought his shirt matched his dark mood. A week ago—even the day before yesterday—she might not have admitted it, but he was one handsome man. His presence beside her was staggering, heightening all her senses, putting all her nerves on extreme alert. It was as if she’d just had her eyes opened for the first time and realized how incredibly sexy and masculine
he was. Now she was afraid that she’d never be able to forget.
Glancing out the window, she tried to focus on her surroundings, but was unable to stop thinking about how being intimate with Russ had affected her. She just hadn’t expected him to be the first person she’d see after she’d showered and changed. After leaving his quarters, she’d felt a sense of relief. She’d dreaded facing him again, though she’d known she would have to and it would be awkward.
All right, if she was honest with herself, she’d also been anxious and a little bit excited. Her gaze strayed to him again, taking in his long, tanned arms sprinkled with a dusting of dark hair, then lingered on his strong hands gripping the steering wheel. His white knuckles indicated that he wasn’t feeling at ease either.
She knew how he felt. Her mind and body seemed in turmoil. Though she knew better than to let herself become further involved with Russ, she couldn’t help remembering how wonderful it felt to be loved by him. She couldn’t forget his kisses or the way he made her feel when he touched her.
Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she twisted her hands in her lap. She hadn’t meant to get them in such a bind, but he hadn’t really helped by stating they were going to get a ring. Frustrated, she sighed heavily as she turned her head away and glanced out the window. They passed one of the fenced pastures where a group of horses were grazing. There was so much work to do. It seemed a shame to waste the day riding into San Luis to get a ring that she didn’t want, wasn’t going to wear and was going to return.
“This is really a waste of time,” she stated, giving him a defiant look.
Russ grimaced, holding himself in check. “I said we’re going to get a ring, and that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“Because you say so?” she challenged.
He gave her a direct look. “No,” he said very carefully, “because
you
blurted out that we’re getting married.”
“There’s no need for you to spend money on a ring,” she insisted. “It’s a
pretend
engagement.”
Russ swallowed hard. Lynn was testing his patience, which was wearing very thin at the moment. “Then think of it as a
pretend
ring,” he told her, his tone flat and uncompromising.
“Look,” she argued, turning in her seat to face him, “don’t you see that a ring is going to just add credence to this whole situation? It’s going to make it seem, I don’t know, more official.” He didn’t seem to be listening to her, and she had a feeling that her reasoning was falling on deaf ears. She was quickly learning that Russ Logan had a mind of his own. Well, he was going to have to learn that she wasn’t going to jump at his every command.
“That’s the point of getting it. I’ve already told you how it’s going to look if I don’t put a ring on your finger.” Silence fell between them. Russ wasn’t about to defend his actions again. She wasn’t ready to face the fact that they were going to have to pay for their night of passion. He could understand her hesitation about marrying him since she’d just told him in no uncertain terms that she had no plans to take a husband.
Well, he hadn’t planned on getting married again
either. Because his first marriage had turned out badly, he figured he just didn’t have what it took to make a permanent relationship work.
That was before last night, before he’d made love to Lynn, before he’d taken her virginity. He stole a glance at her, and a part of him wished things were different, that he had something to offer her. She was leaning against the door of the truck, her legs crossed, her lips in a full pout. His gaze dropped to her breasts, and he wanted like hell to touch her there. His body responded quickly to his thoughts, and he turned his attention back to the road.
He was going to have to get his libido under control. He couldn’t go around lusting after Lynn until this whole farce was over. The problem was it was going to be a strain trying to distance himself physically. Just being with her reminded him of what it had been like to hold her in his arms, to kiss her beautiful, tempting lips.
“What about yourself? This has all been about me and my reputation, which you and Ryder are more worried about than I am.”
“What do you mean?”
Unable to suppress her curiosity, she asked, “Aren’t there women, I mean, isn’t there a woman in your life that’s gonna be disappointed that she’s not the one you’re going to marry?” She’d been wanting to ask, but the opportunity hadn’t presented itself.
“No.”
His abrupt answer caused her to raise her eyebrows. “No? Really?”
He flashed her a tolerant look. “No one you need to concern yourself about.”
What did that mean? Lynn wondered. That he had
women whom he saw on occasion, but no one special? Or that his female companionship wasn’t up for discussion?
“What about you?”
“I’m not seeing anyone. I told you, I don’t want any commitments right now.”
He seemed to mull that over, and they fell silent for a while as they headed away from the small town of Crockett and toward Ozona on Interstate 10. Russ gunned the engine to pick up speed.
“What kind of plans?”
Startled from the sudden sound of his voice, she jumped, then she looked at him. He glanced briefly at her, then just as quickly away.
“What?”
“You said you had plans and that you don’t want any commitments. What kind of plans?”
His tone was gruff, as if idle conversation didn’t come easily to him. Though not really talkative, it seemed he got along well with everyone at the Bar M, except her. They’d never had a real conversation that she could remember that hadn’t ended up in some kind of disagreement. Surprised by his interest, wondering if it was genuine, she flushed a little.
“Oh, um, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do. I love working with horses so I’m going to start my own horse ranch.” Why had she even told him? She hadn’t shared her plans with her brothers yet for fear that they wouldn’t take her seriously. At least Jake and Ryder wouldn’t. After arriving at the house this morning, she’d learned that Deke had left as soon as dawn broke to go back on the rodeo circuit. Lynn didn’t think he was too concerned about anything except competing.
“You want to start a horse ranch?” Even though he made an effort at it, Russ couldn’t conceal his skepticism. Starting a ranch of any kind was long, hard, backbreaking work. He doubted Lynn had any idea of how difficult it was to begin such a venture, let alone be a success at it.
Lynn crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes,” she replied tersely, giving him an annoyed look. “Despite what you think of me, I’m very good with horses.”
Russ flinched. He guessed he deserved that. He had given her a rough time since they’d started working together. But that wasn’t his fault. It was Jake’s. He’d told Russ to work Lynn hard, to give her menial tasks. Her brother wanted her to give up the idea of training horses and quit. Jake still wanted Lynn to go to college.
Russ figured that was because Jake hadn’t had an opportunity to finish school. When his parents had been killed in a plane crash, he’d had to leave school, come back home and raise his younger siblings. He’d mentioned to Russ that he wanted at least one of his siblings to get a college degree. Ryder hadn’t gone, and Deke was more interested in competing in the rodeo. Considering what Lynn had just divulged, she didn’t plan on listening to her brother about continuing her education, either.
“I wasn’t implying that you weren’t,” Russ said, and swallowed hard.
“It sure sounded like it.”
“I’ll admit you’ve learned a lot. You have a natural instinct with horses, that’s for sure,” he offered. He didn’t want to encourage her, but he wasn’t going to lie to her either. Working with her had taught him a thing or two about her. She was smart and had an
intuitive talent with horses. Anyone with a lick of sense could see that much about her if they watched her train.
He’d even pointed it out to Jake a time or two. And she didn’t give up. No matter what Russ had given her to do, she’d done it. Sometimes with a lot of sass, he thought, stifling a smile, but she’d stuck it out.
Lynn sat up straighter and turned in her seat toward him. “Careful with those compliments. I might faint.” His dark look almost made her smile. “Jake is having a hard time letting go. He still wants me to go to college, and I’m tired of fighting with him.”
“He only wants what’s best for you,” Russ told her patiently.
“I know, but I’m hoping now that he’s married and has a child of his own, he’ll get off my case.” The more Lynn thought about them, the more sure she was of her plans. Jake would be busy with his own family now. He wouldn’t have as much time to worry about her.
Matthew, Jake’s son, had shown up at the ranch without warning, claiming that Jake was his father. Catherine, Matt’s mother and Jake’s college sweetheart, had come to the ranch to get him, and she and Jake had ended up falling in love again. Lynn was happy they’d found each other again after all the years that had passed. She was equally glad that Matt was Jake’s natural son. Her brother had been in an accident shortly after he’d returned to the ranch after their parents’ death, and he’d learned he’d never be able to father a child. Now he had a family, and he’d never seemed happier.
“He’ll have his hands full, that’s for sure,” Russ agreed. “It’s a good thing Ryder had started the ad
dition to the house. Although it’s already big, it’s hard for two families to share the same space.”
“That’s another reason I want my own place,” Lynn confided. “It’s not that I don’t love my family, because I do. They mean a lot to me. And I adore Ryder and Ashley’s twins, but Michelle and Melissa will be walking soon, so when Ryder and his family move into the new wing when it’s finished, I think it’ll be nice for Jake, Catherine and Matt to have the rest of the house.”
“Wanting your own ranch is one thing, Lynn, making a go of it is another,” Russ warned. “Do you have any idea of how hard it’ll be to start a ranch? It’s tough enough for a man.”
Lynn glared at him. “Meaning?”
Russ took the main exit off the interstate leading to San Luis. “Meaning it’ll be twice as hard for a woman to start a ranch and make it a success. Just ask Mary Beth Adams,” he told her, thinking of the McCalls’ neighbor. She’d recently lost her father, and she was trying to keep their ranch going on her own. “Jake sends one or two of the hands over to her place to help her out all the time.”
“She’s just having a rough time,” Lynn reasoned. “Once she gets straightened out, she can hire a couple of hands.” His reminder of Mary Beth’s struggles struck home. Lynn was sure that once she announced her plans, Jake would certainly use Mary Beth’s struggles as an argument against her idea to start her own ranch. She’d have to be careful and prepare herself for his arguments.
“What other plans have you made?” he asked. It surprised him to learn that they actually had something in common. The spread he’d purchased was
small in comparison to the land the McCalls owned, but it was enough for him. All he needed was a little more money for livestock. And he needed his job at the Bar M to earn that. Then he could get his own place off the ground.
“Well, first, I figured we’ve got plenty of land, so I could just pick out a few acres and stake my claim to them. And I’m planning to go and see Linwood Finney at the bank with a financial plan. He’s known my family for ages, and he knows I’d be good for the loan. I’ve already sketched out some basic building plans. I want to start small and grow slowly. I could continue living at the Bar M while I get the ranch off the ground, then move once I have a small house built.”
She continued describing her plans, her face animated and full of excitement as she shared her thoughts, her dreams. Russ was impressed. He admired her tenacity and spunk. She’d thought it all out, had a financial plan and the drive to make it happen. He didn’t think her brothers were going to like it one bit, but he didn’t voice his thoughts. No need to shoot holes in her plans. There were still a few obstacles in her way, their engagement and impending marriage being the biggest ones.
Russ chewed a bit on the inside of his mouth as he slowed the truck down and pulled into the parking lot of the mall at San Luis. Essentially, what Lynn had said was true. She had plans, and they didn’t include a husband. Whether he was right for her or not, it was clear she wasn’t interested in him. That’s why she was so intent on a pretend engagement, he thought, his mood darkening. She was determined to follow her own agenda. Though he knew there could never
be anything serious between them, her rejection deepened the hole in his heart, stung in a way that his mother’s and Candace’s hadn’t.
He figured Jake was going to somehow figure this was partly Russ’s fault. He was supposed to work with her on training the horses, bringing her along slowly. He’d tried, but Lynn had picked up on every tiny detail while they worked together. She was smart and thorough. Hell, for all he knew, she probably could make a go of running her own place.
If Jake gave her the chance.
Turning his thoughts to the matter at hand, he pulled the truck to a stop in a parking spot. “We’re here,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Russ—”
“Don’t even start,” he warned her, getting out of the truck. He walked around to open her door, but she was already climbing out. She slammed the door and came toward him.