Oral Sex for Every Body: Giving and Receiving for Men and Women (2 page)

Now fondle his balls and lift out his penis and stroke it with the ends of your fingers. Keep your mouth close to the glans (head of the penis), but don’t touch it as yet. Men have a spot which is especially sensitive and can be stimulated to increase their excitement before oral sex. We’re talking about the perineum, the area between the anus and sexual part (scrotum in men). You can stimulate it with two fingers, using alternating degrees of pressure over the zone.

Pleasuring Her. Start with a combination of kisses, humming, and fondles to clear the way for rubbing the pubis. With great delicacy, use your fingertips to press between the lips of the vulva. It is important to keep up a constant and gentle rhythm. While the hands and fingers are working on her below, run your tongue over her nipples, making circles around the areolas of both breasts on your way down to her belly button. Keep rubbing her carefully, until your tongue joins up with the fingers already there. Watch out for her clit! There are

men who attack this most sensitive female organ in a rough and impatient manner. In general, women prefer that stimulation begin with the “hood” that protects the clitoris, going around it on the sides or underneath. While one hand is occupied with the clitoris, the other is free to stimulate her perineum (caressing, massaging, and pressing gently) and anus. Above all, it is important to maintain constant rhythmic contact so as to avoid putting the kibosh on her climax.

PROHIBITED ORAL SEX

Recently, the government of Singapore altered its penal code to allow the practice of anal and oral sex in this Asian country, though certain restrictions still apply. Both practices were legalized for consenting heterosexual adults in private. Certain associations favoring the rights of homosexuals vigorously protested, yet the law as written considers sexual relations between men to be a “transgression against the public morality.”

Many women enjoy being masturbated during oral sex. Others even prefer to do it themselves, nudging their clitoris while their partner licks their vulva. Others ask their lover to put one or two fingers into their vagina during cunnilingus when they feel they are at the point of coming. And there are those who prefer to arrive at climax through intervention of the tongue alone.

A BIT OF HISTORY

In ancient Rome, to perform cunnilingus or fellatio was frowned upon. To receive either, however, was not an object of any reproach. One of the worst insults of that epoch was to

accuse a man of giving fellatio to another man. Art has left us with examples of “prohibited” sexual acts eschewed by the Romans. One of the most extraordinary collections of pictures ever discovered is that of eight erotic vignettes located at a spa in the suburbs of Pompeii (Italy). In them one can behold all and each of the sexual taboos of the time: fellatio, group sex, cunnilingus, male and female homosexuality, etc. There is one image, however, which stands out as most scandalous. It depicts a woman performing cunnilingus on another woman who, at the same time, is performing fellatio on a man!

SOMEONE WRITES . . .

I’ve been with my present partner for twelve years now and our sexual relations are beginning to get somewhat “boring.” Typically, when Saturday night rolls around, we jump into bed and almost by rote repeat the same positions, the same kisses, and the same words.

This went on until, one day, I made a decision and suggested something new to him. Both my guy and I love oral sex. So we started to do it in public places. The first time we did it in a subway car, early in the a.m., taking advantage of the fact that the car was empty. The next time was in a public park in plain daylight, we even did it in my office at work at closing time . . . Our favorite spot now is fitting rooms in the big department stores. It is so exciting that nowadays we hardly ever do it in bed. Really, our sex life has improved, big time!

Elisa, 34 years old SAFE ORAL SEX

In the event you have oral sex with a stranger, or you aren’t 100 percent sure about your lover’s previous partners, it is recommended that you take preventative measures. A condom is the best way to avoid possible STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), and they come in a variety of flavors to boot. You can also use them to prevent the exchange of bodily fluids (one way is to cut the condom in half and place it over the vagina). You can buy female condoms, which prevent direct contact of the mouth with the vagina or anus. It is also recommended that if you are going to give fellatio to a stranger that you don’t swallow his semen, and make sure that neither his pre-ejaculatory fluid nor semen enters your mouth, since this is considered a high-risk practice regarding the transmission of STDs.

An exciting way to practice oral sex is to put a condom on your lover using your mouth. Be careful using your teeth since these could damage the condom’s material. This technique is ideal for the many men who lose their erection whenever they put on a condom. Oral stimulation will help prevent this undesirable letdown. To do this, put the condom in your mouth with the tip facing in the direction of your tongue. Then slowly, little by little, put it over his penis with your mouth, as if you were giving him a blow job, and push it down with your lips set against the rigid ring at the condom’s opening. Throw away any condom you have used to practice fellatio; don’t use it for intercourse since it is liable to have a nick or tear caused by your teeth.

During oral sex, not only is there contact with another’s semen or vaginal fluids, but there is also the possibility of contracting a primary infection from blood. There might be a wound or open sore in the person’s mouth which, if it starts to

bleed, creates a risk of infection. Hepatitis B and AIDS can be transmitted this way, as well as through direct contact with someone’s blood, and so it is not recommended that you have oral sex with anyone who has these diseases.

In general, almost all of the STDs, from genital herpes to gonorrhea, are capable of being transmitted by the mouth, and so it is best to avoid oral sex with someone if you suspect there is the possibility of contagion.

Kiss Me Again and Again!

In a book dedicated to oral sex you must have a chapter on the art of kissing. Giving and getting kisses anywhere on the body make up a great part of the erotic charge of the sexual act. A kiss is not just a means for getting sex; it is much more than that. A kiss is an erotic end in itself which can be just as exciting as intercourse. Kissing involves the senses of taste, touch, and smell—a combination of experiences which can turn kissing into an act of consummate provocation. Kisses can range from a fleeting, almost accidental brushing to those which signify a total physical merging via the lips. Between these two extremes lie numerous variations of kissing, though many people neglect this skill which, like any other skill, requires persistence, creativity, and patience to learn.

Surely you have, at one time or another, come across a lover who didn’t know how to kiss. It seems to be a simple thing, but know-how is required to make it something pleasurable. A bad kiss can turn us right off; a good one can really set us ablaze. Here are some sure tips on how to make your partner explode every time you kiss him or her.

Good Taste, Good Smell. Kissing is a very intimate act. Keeping this in mind, pay special attention to your oral hygiene so as to prevent bad breath. Keep some chewing gum or candy mints on hand to refresh your mouth in case you have just smoked or eaten something spicy. Make sure you wear good perfume or cologne, not just to avoid unpleasant body odor, but also to make the moment more inviting.

No Hurry. Relax, breathe deeply, and enjoy the moment to the maximum. A kiss is an intimate and delicate act, so don’t just push up against the lips of the other person in a rushed, abrupt way. Approach them tenderly, use sensuality to tempt them, and include love sounds which tell your companion just how much you are enjoying them. Remember that there is nothing more impersonal and cold than a kiss given with closed lips or open eyes!

Use Rhythm. Kissing is a very intimate contact with your lover that should always be done with delicacy and softness. It is important to maintain this contact the whole time. You can start with a few slow kisses, gently, without much ardor. Then, no matter how much you turn up the heat, the total effect will be much more enticing if you maintain a sense of delicacy.

Don’t Be a Bore. Don’t kiss the same way every time. Surprise your partner by being sensual and sexy simultaneously. You might start with long, slow kisses, with and without tongue. Toy with your lover’s lips, suck them, kiss the corners of his or her mouth and caress them with the tip of your tongue without entering the mouth itself. Above all, give 100 percent. To kiss is one of the most intimate things there is. If you’re not really into it, your lover will notice right away, and there is no bigger turnoff than that. You can’t put too much emphasis on kissing. Caresses and sexual positions are important, but kissing is the foundation.

Four Kisses in One. First just put your closed lips on those of your lover till he or she starts to shake, enraptured. Then swap saliva, using a nonchalant kiss which you then turn into something much deeper. Then put your tongue in your lover’s

mouth, and go for the most intense and penetrating contact possible. Finally, intertwine your tongues as deeply as you can.

Make Them Yours. Use your hands to tenderly caress your lover as you kiss him or her, or just hold your partner tight. Use whatever look, murmur, or caress is at your disposal to intensify the moment.

The Open-Mouthed Kiss. If you do this with moist lips, you will arouse thrillingly pleasant sensations in your partner as you proceed to caress the interior of his or her mouth.

What, Me Ashamed? Kissing is a very sensual act, as well as something that frees you from bashfulness. Accompany your kisses with little whisperings, little touches, little grunts of pleasure. Your lips should be moist and open. In this way you will give him or her very exciting sensations as you continue to stimulate the inside of his or her mouth.

A Sensuous Vampire. Gently and sensitively nibble your lover’s lips. Then make them better with the moistened tip of your tongue. Your partner will burst with pleasure.

Your Seductive Tongue. Both the tongue and lips are loaded with pleasure-sensing nerve endings, which can bring you all the way to orgasm. Take advantage of this by putting a hard tongue in your partner’s mouth and moving it to and fro with a rhythmic, rubbing motion.

Play, Explore! Run your tongue along the inside of your partner’s mouth, introducing it between their lip and gums and massaging it. This will cause a thrilling tingle. You can

also probe the bottom side of their tongue; nibble it, suck on it.

Working Together. When one of you takes the initiative, the other should play along so as to increase the enjoyment. Block the movements of your partner’s tongue, and then let it in willingly. Suck on it with light suction; this will turn your partner on and they will show you how much they like what you are doing.

SOUL KISSING

The tongue is chock-full of sensitive nerve endings. That’s why soul kissing fires us up and is the best introduction to the sexual act. Below, I illustrate some techniques to enjoy this most pleasant and provocative kind of kiss.

Put your tongue in your partner’s mouth and then nibble their lips, which are so close to yours. Put a bit more pressure on the lips so that the kiss turns into a light love bite.

Explore the interior of your lover’s mouth with your tongue. Put it in the fold where the upper lip joins the gum and caress tenderly. Some people consider the tingling sensations this causes to be extremely exciting.

Explore the fold where the lower lip joins the gum. Then stroke underneath your partner’s tongue as far back as the frenulum (tongue web). Savor it.

Form your tongue into a funnel; put it in your partner’s mouth and move it in and out rhythmically. The friction of tongue and lips sometimes can have the same effect as the penis

moving back and forth in the vagina; the difference being the lips and tongue are crammed with pleasure-stimulating nerve endings.

If you want to take this kind of tongue caress all the way, suck your partner’s tongue until you sense his or her body getting totally into the action.

DEVOUR HIM/HER WITH DIFFERENT KINDS OF KISSES

Kissing is an erotic, sensual activity. As such, you must bring a dose of the pleasantly unexpected into the process that makes your lover melt in delight. If you want to mix up your kisses, here are some suggestions:

Exotic Kisses. I’m sure you know about the Kama Sutra, but have you heard of the Ananga Ranga? Both contain similar ideas, though they were written centuries apart. Whereas the Kama Sutra was written for all types of lovers (married or not), the objective of the Ananga Ranga was to help spouses guard against boredom and tedium in marriage. Its pages are loaded with a refined eroticism, and it also pays special attention to women (something rare in that day).

An example from the Ananga Ranga is a kiss that shares its name and that consists of gently covering the eyes of your lover with your hand and placing your tongue between his or her lips. Then you run your tongue in and out of their mouth while they keep their eyes shut. Their temporary “blindness” will enhance experiencing the warmth of your breath and sweetness of your tongue.

On the other hand, the following types of kisses appear in the Kama Sutra:

The Bent Kiss. This happens when the heads of the two lovers are tilted in opposite directions. It is one of the most common varieties of kissing and is the preferred type in the movies. Tilting the heads allows better contact of the partners’ lips and profound penetration of their tongues. It is an excellent way to start a passionate love session and arouse your partner.

The Nominal Kiss. When the lovers’ lips just brush against each other.

The Throbbing Kiss. When, with lips touching, the lovers move their lower lips only.