Oral Sex for Every Body: Giving and Receiving for Men and Women (5 page)

LIPS

Obviously one of the most erogenous zones, the lips are perfect for giving and receiving sexual pleasure. We’ve already talked about the erotic power of kissing in previous chapters. Do not skimp when you kiss, and accompany your kisses with licks, nibbles, and sighs, which make your lover dissolve in ecstasy.

Try not to be so predictable. Surprise your partner with kisses on his or her body in places where he or she is unaccustomed to being kissed. Cover your lover with your lips, with your tongue, with your saliva, and with your breath. Don’t forget to use your hands while you’re kissing, gently stroking your partner’s hair, face, back, etc.

The upper lip and the area between it and the nose are particularly susceptible to erotic stimulation. Approach them delicately and slowly. Take turns kissing first the upper lip and then the lower one. Use your tongue to moisten all around their lips. Another fun thing to do is to touch tongue tips with your partner.

NECK, NAPE, AND SHOULDERS

I’m sure you have shivered as your partner nibbled your neck and ran his or her warm breath over your skin. Psychologically, the one who allows their nape to be massaged is demonstrating trust in their partner, and the one who is doing the massage is showing their tenderness.

While you kiss your companion’s neck, run your fingers through his or her hair, over their ears, and other parts of their neck. Make sure your lips are always a little bit wet; just don’t slobber.
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EARS

These are among the most sensitive parts of the body, and those who think otherwise usually have the most sensitive ears of all! For both sexes, the earlobes and back of the ear are particularly sensitive. To stimulate the ears, use your lips, tongue, and fingers.

You can try the following technique: put the tip of your tongue inside your partner’s ear and make little circles. Then lick the earlobe and take it between your lips, grasping it gently. Repeat this over the other parts of their ear and alternate caressing with lips and tongue. You can blow on their ear from behind. If you add some sweet words and sighs to this, I guarantee you will cause him or her to melt. Remember that while your mouth has fun with your companion’s ear, your fingers can join in, playing with the ear and hair as well.

BACK

Along the spinal column there is a string of very sensitive nerve endings. Using massage and stroking to stimulate them (always use up-and-down movement) will cause a hot sensation of pleasure to course through your partner’s body. The flanks of the back respond, most of all, to delicate passings-over of the tongue and fingertips.

You can also run the tip of your tongue all over your partner’s back, or do the same with little kisses, starting from the nape of the neck and proceeding down to the rump. Precisely there, right at the sacrum, is a very responsive area, just where the back connects with the gluteals.
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Massages on this area are the most enjoyable and provocative aspect of foreplay. Try rubbing your body with oil and use your body to massage your partner all over his body. Run your slick breasts all over his back, his butt, and his abdomen. Move seductively and rub his genitals until he bursts.

RUMP

The rump is one of the most sensitive erogenous areas of a woman, especially when it is massaged using a lifting and separating movement. During oral sex, she will totally enjoy it when you massage her butt cheeks and scratch them lightly. The upper area of the butt, specifically the part which joins the back, is particularly sensitive, especially in women. Massage your partner there and watch as the tensions in the back dissipate, permitting increased blood flow to her sexual organs.

ARMS

The armpits, above all (be careful not to tickle them), and the interior surface of the upper arms are the most erotogenic points of the arms. When it comes time to stimulate these most sensitive areas, remember that it will excite your partner more to use strokes or kisses rather than pressure and massage.

Continuing downwards, we eventually come to the hands. These have more than forty thousand nerve endings which we are certainly not going to overlook!
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Put your partner’s hand on your mouth and run over it with the tip of your tongue. This provokes an unusual and exciting sensation. Equally exciting is another technique involving tracing little circles with your fingers, starting in the center of the palm, and spiraling outward. Go up and down them, making gentle strokes.

WRISTS

Though these are likely to escape the notice of lovers, they too have their place. To discover it, have your partner place his or her hands palms up and touch their wrists with your fingertips. After you stroke them a bit, use your lips, teeth, and tongue to lightly lick and nibble the center of one of them. You can kiss your partner’s wrist with the palm of their hand on your face.

HANDS

Try stimulating the palms of your partner’s hands using this seductive massage: have him or her face their palms up, and rub their wrists with your fingertips, along with their forearms, all the time whispering words of love to them. After a few minutes of this, use your lips, teeth, and tongue to lick and nibble the center area of their wrist. Hold your partner’s hand, keeping it against your face.

BREASTS

Without a doubt, breasts are one of a woman’s pleasure centers. Men, too, respond to stimulation of their breasts, though with less intensity than women. You can massage, stroke, kiss, or lick them; there are unlimited ways to pleasure your partner’s breasts. You can also use your breasts to massage different parts of your lover’s body. One exciting way is to take the man’s penis and put it between both breasts, masturbating him by keeping constant pressure on his penis with vertical movements until he orgasms.

The nipples, as well, are extremely susceptible to stimulation, equally for men and women. You can blow them, suck them, pinch them gently, or squeeze them between your lips while you touch them lightly with your tongue. They are also a clear indicator of our level of excitement. When sexually excited, the nipples secrete oxytocin (the hormone of love) and become erect. Many people, especially women, can reach climax through stimulation of this area alone.

In general, men tend to treat this area a little brusquely, especially when they are nearing maximum excitement. The nipples are extremely delicate, and aggressive stimulation of them can cause discomfort, and even pain.

Here is a good way for a man to control over-enthusiastic sucking: place a grape between your teeth and move it with your tongue. When you can do this without breaking its skin, then you can say you have mastered the correct pressure you need to apply to nipples to pleasure them.

ABDOMEN

We have here another promising erogenous zone (especially for men), due to its proximity to the genitals. For men, the area between the navel and pubic bone is eminently susceptible to caressing and responds with intensity to all stimulations.

Draw a vertical line with your tongue, fingers, and lips, going from the navel to the pubis. Trace another line, this time horizontal, from one hip to the other and cover it with kisses, with the tip of your fingers or fingernails, subtly, without causing irritation to your partner. Accompany these with light sucking and nibbles.

Another suggested way to stimulate the abdomen is to put your hand about a half-inch (1 cm) above its surface, creating a pleasant experience of static electricity. Your partner will sense the warmth of your hand. When he least expects it, slide your fingers over his belly. When he closes his eyes, concentrate on the lower part of his belly and stroke it with a small brush, your makeup brush for example, and brush him in unexpected places. One of the easiest ways to get your partner going is to use ways of stroking and caressing that are well out of the ordinary routine. You can try using handkerchiefs of soft silk or feathers.

NAVEL

Due to its closeness to the genitals, this is one of the hottest areas of the human body. Stimulating it first provides the best beginning to oral sex. This might cause tickling, but applying strawberries, whipped cream, or an ice cube, for example, immediately transforms this contact into a “must” of our sexual repertoire!

CROTCH
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Especially sensitive in men, use your fingers to gently massage from the hip to the inside of the thigh. If you combine this with oral pleasuring in the direction of the genitals, it will provide a greatly sensual start to oral sex.

THIGHS

The interior part of the thighs, where the skin is smoothest, is susceptible to being a great source of pleasure if it is properly stimulated with strokes, licks, or kisses. Try to rub it using a circular motion. Avoid nibbling this area, as it will leave noticeable marks. Keep away from the genitals. The more you apply oral pleasure here, the more it will excite your lover.

Another surprisingly sensitive part is the backside of the knees. When your partner is lying on their stomach, you can take advantage of this and use the tip of your tongue to go over them. Some advice: don’t nibble or press your tongue with too much pressure. This area is much more responsive to gentle attention.

ANKLES

Place your lover’s ankles on your thighs and rub them vigorously with your hands, working back towards the knee. Then kiss them on both sides. Make little circles on them with your fingers to add to the enjoyment.

FEET

Just like the hands, the feet contain great numbers of nerve endings; do not forget to include them in your sexual fun. Go all out with sensual sucking, licking, and little nibbles.

A good round of sex for both partners could include using feet to play with the other’s genitals. If you do this, however, be careful. It is more difficult to control the movements of the feet than the hands.

KEEP TOUCHING ME!

We’ve already commented on how touch is a primary sense when it’s time to give and take pleasure during foreplay.

Massage is a seductive way to kindle those erogenous zones.

Chinese Erotic Massage. Chinese erotic massage is based on the belief that the body’s energy field is maintained by twelve “meridians,” which channel the sexual energy and thereby increase well-being. To give a Taoist massage to your partner and introduce them to new sensations, have them stretch out, face up. Sit at the top of their head, either on your ankles or squatting.

Stretch your partner’s skin from head to hips, taking it between your thumb and index finger and tugging it with gentle little pulls at every point.

Then, starting at the inside of the ankles, rub your fingers up your partner’s leg slowly, from the calves to the thighs.

Place your hands together in the center of your lover’s sternum and, very slowly, slide them down in the direction of

the pubic bone. When you get to the hips, let your hands separate, rubbing over them; then return up by way of the sides to the armpits, then up over the chest and back to the sternum.

Keep repeating this movement, descending a bit more each time, until you are rubbing the genitals and getting close to the nipples on the return circuit. Trace a semi-circle on your partner’s thigh, starting from the inside of the knee and going up and then down over the outside of it.

To end, use your thumbs to make little circles on the inside of his or her ears.

To become an expert in Chinese erotic massage, it is important to learn to manipulate your hands using a series of effective and pleasure-eliciting movements. The main ones are:

Drumming. Close your fists and simply let them drop without using force. Increase the cadence more and more rapidly. Applying these vibrations will increase energy flow.

Hand Rubbing. Fully extend your hand. Put it on the area you are going to treat, and press with the lower phalanges (small bones) of the hand. Don’t lift your hand; it works best with gentle sliding.

Rubbing with Fingertips. Extend the fingers of the hand. Place your fingertips on the desired area and slide them with sure firmness.

Finger Pressure. Put your middle finger on the place to be treated. Put the index finger of the other hand on the middle finger. Slide the middle finger firmly and slowly.

The Pincer. Make a pincer with the thumb and the other fingers of the hand. It’s important to keep the other fingers together tightly. Gently grab the chosen area and stretch the skin outwards, again gently. Once you’ve stretched the skin, hold it for a count of twenty. Repeat this ten times for every place you massage.

Laying On of Hands. Stretch out your hands and place them on the area to be treated.

Nail Massage. Place the nails of your hand on the area you’ve chosen. The palm of your hand should be facing up. Slide the nails back and forth using a smooth motion.

Circular Massage. Place the index and middle fingers close together on the area to be treated and rub lightly. Then, press more firmly.

TEST. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST?

To enjoy sex it is important to know your body well, what makes you feel sexy, and what parts, when stimulated, drive you wild.

Complete the following test and discover which of your erogenous zones are the hottest. We’ve left out the genitals which, obviously, are the primary pleasure areas and well-known as such.

If you have a companion, take the test with him or her and you will learn new things about them. If you do this, pay attention to the results and put what you learn into practice the next time you make love (0=uncomfortable; 1=no sensation; 2=some pleasure; 3=a lot of pleasure; 4=orgasmic).

Once you know the most erotic zones of your body, you can begin to discover how you like to be stimulated on those areas. Remember, not everyone is a psychic, and to prioritize your zones will result in better communication with your partner. End of test.

WHAT DOES YOUR LIST LOOK LIKE?

In a recent Internet survey taken by women, the following results were obtained regarding their most erogenous zones. From least to most, these were their preferences:

10–Inner thighs 9–Back of the knee 8–Butt

7–Nape of Neck 6–Ears

5–Feet 4–Wrists

3–Breasts and nipples 2–Vagina and clitoris 1–Lips

Make your list and let your partner study it in detail. To discover and map your partner’s erotic zones might take some time, but it will surely yield its rewards on the field of Eros. To be sure, this is a map which can never be totally finished. Depending on the situation or person involved, our bodies are capable of reacting in very different ways to sexual stimulation.

Orgasm: An Explosion of Pleasure

Good or bad, or simply different; quick (sometimes only seconds) or long-lasting; single or multiple. It’s complicated to put all aspects of orgasm into words.

Orgasm is the cherry on top of the cake of a sexual encounter. It is sexual climax which can make us burst with pleasure. It is a physical chain reaction (mental, too) whose cause has not always been clear, especially when it comes to female orgasm.

The confusion started with the “Father of Psychoanalysis,” Sigmund Freud, whose categorization of female orgasms provokes controversy to this very day. According to Freud, female orgasms are divided into two types: vaginal and clitoral. He considered clitoral orgasms to be a simple “intermediate” stage of pleasure, whereas vaginal orgasm represented a woman’s reaching a “true” climax. One theory which Freud left in the background was the extremely important role the clitoris plays in a full sexual relationship.

This erroneous idea of two types of orgasm held sway until biologist Alfred Kinsey observed how important the clitoris was to female pleasure. After talking with thousands of women, Kinsey demonstrated that there was no reason to consider coitus as the easiest way to cause a female orgasm.

Later on, it was Masters and Johnson who emphasized the importance of the clitoris. After observing almost fifteen thousand instances of coitus and masturbation, the researchers

came to the conclusion that there was just one type of orgasm, regardless of the means by which it was obtained.

These results were later supported by another prestigious investigator, Shere Hite. In her two reports on female sexuality (published in 1976 and 2000), it was stated that more than 70 percent of women surveyed stated that they did not arrive at orgasm by way of vaginal penetration without simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris.

THE “G” SPOT

It had been clear that the “star” of female orgasm was the clitoris. That was until 1950, when a German gynecologist named Ernst Gräfenberg discovered a small erogenous zone located in the vagina behind the pubic bone, near the urethra, about one-and-a-half to two inches (4 to 5 cm) back from the vaginal opening. He had discovered the now famous and controversial “G” spot. He did not delay in demonstrating that its direct stimulation provoked intense erotic excitation and pleasure in a majority of women.

It was sexologists John Perry and Beverly Whipple who, years later, actually named it the “G” spot, in honor of its discoverer. They concluded that in the vagina there was a place “extremely sensitive to firm pressure,” which under adequate stimulation succeeded in triggering serial orgasms. In addition, Perry and Whipple brought to awareness the existence of female ejaculation and the relationship between the strength of a woman’s pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle) and her capacity for orgasm.

They quickly published a book that explained the results of their investigations and rapidly sold out in bookstores all over the world (it was translated into over twenty languages).

According to these investigators, there are three types of female orgasm: