Authors: Jessica Wilde
"Hey there, beautiful!"
He shouted as he ran up to my porch where I was waiting and swept me up into
one of his huge bear hugs.
"Ben! It's so good to see
you. Come on in. I already have breakfast ready."
He smiled and kissed my cheek. I
had spent the hour prior getting his favorite breakfast ready for him.
"French toast?" he
asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Of course, and bacon, eggs,
and crepes for your weird 'breakfast dessert'," I said with air quotes and
a roll of my eyes.
"Oh, how I love you!"
Ben was always extremely
affectionate toward me and it had actually caused problems at the first of his
and Linda's relationship, but when she realized I was like a sister to him,
everything worked out. He was a good looking guy and in good shape, for the
most part. He was looking a little soft in the tummy area lately.
He was taller than me, like
everyone else was, but not by too much at about 5'9", with light brown
hair and brown eyes. I noticed how tired he looked as he followed me into the
kitchen. He was a very successful physician and I was so proud of him for
working so hard, but I hoped he had a chance to step back soon. His kids were
growing up and needed their daddy to show them how much love he had to give.
I hadn't seen Andrew this morning
yet, but it was still a little early and he was probably on his morning run. He
would meet Ben for the first time today and I was a little nervous. I think he
was, too. I had told him about life with Ben as a best friend and all the times
we both got into trouble when we were younger. He had been expecting Ben to be
really protective of me and possibly give him a hard time about it, but after
hearing about who my fill in brother really was, he felt a little better.
"My dear Olivia! Come here
and give me squeezes." Ben crouched down with his arms spread wide and
Olivia ran full speed into his chest. "Oh my goodness, you have grown so
much. I miss you, little one."
"Ben! Mommy, Ben!" she
giggled as he lifted her up and hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms around
his neck and hugged him back until he pretended to be choking, making her
giggle even harder.
"She missed you, too,"
I said with a smile, "I hope you can stay for a little while. It would be
nice for both of us to catch up with you."
"I can stay for a few hours,
but I have to get back to the conference. The speaker this afternoon is the
head of my department and I'll earn major brownie points by getting a front row
seat," he put Liv down and turned to Monty. "Monty, you look handsome
as ever, boy."
Monty greeted Ben by allowing him
to pat his head and then groaned himself back to the door. He waited for Andrew
most days and when Ben gave me a curious look I just rolled my eyes and said,
"You'll find out what his deal is in a little bit, I'm sure."
"I see he is still as human
as ever," he said wryly.
"Yep."
"How
did
you find
that one, Joss? I swear he was made just for you."
I smiled, remembering the day I
brought Monty home. "Well, he was the one who picked me remember? I walked
into that house and every dog was busy trying to get some food and he was
trying to jump in my arms. Ended up leaving with him that same day and he
wasn't even old enough to go yet. I'll never regret that."
I looked over at Monty who had
turned his head to look back at me as if he knew I was talking about him. His tongue
was hanging out and he was panting lightly, but it sure did look like he was
smiling at me.
"He has been through a lot
with you hasn't he?"
I just nodded and started
scooping food onto a large plate. "Oh yeah, pile it on there, I'm
starving," he said with his fork ready to go.
We sat at the table and talked
while I fed Liv and she showed off. Andrew had been showing her how to stack
everything and I mean
everything.
Her food ended up in a big pile in the
cup holder of her tray and she clapped when she got it all to stay together.
"Adoo appy!" she cheered.
"Yes, sweetie. Andrew will
be very happy you did that so well."
She giggled and started eating
little bites and I turned my head to Ben who was chewing up a piece of bacon
very slowly and narrowed his eyes at me.
"Am I going to meet
him?"
I picked at my eggs and nodded,
"I'm sure you will. He is probably out for a run right now. He should be
back soon. He is excited to meet you, you know?"
He smirked, "Of course he
is, I'm the one he has to go through before he can get to you."
I laughed and threw my bacon at
him. "Sure you are."
He put his fork down and wiped
his mouth. When there was a meal on the table, he only did that when he had
something important to say and I knew what was coming.
"Have you told him,
yet?"
I took a deep breath and held it
a moment, trying to find a good excuse. I didn't have one. The only explanation
was because I was too scared. Me. Scared. After everything I had been through I
was afraid of losing him.
"Nope. But I will."
"When?"
"Soon. Every time I try to,
something comes up. Plus, it's not something that I can just throw onto
someone. It could ruin everything." I stood and carried my plate to the
sink. I knew what was going to come out of Ben's mouth next and I didn't want to
hear it.
"If it does, then you know
it wasn't right. Not all men use that as an excuse to leave. Just
assholes."
"Ben!" I whipped my
head to Liv and she was trying to get Monty to eat the food she was offering
him, but he was too busy licking the syrup off her feet. How it got there, I
have no clue.
"Sorry, I meant stupid
heads."
I laughed and shook my head,
"Well it's too late now, but if she ever says that I'm blaming it on
you."
His face was serious and his eyes
held all the pity I loathed, "Don't change the subject, Joss. You have to
tell him, now. He obviously is in this for the long haul. Not many guys would
do what he has done so far. He befriended you and Liv and stayed just friends
even though he wanted more. Hell, not a lot of guys
want
more with a
single mother."
"Ouch. That hurts," I
sneered, but I knew he was only speaking the truth.
For a moment, I regretted telling
him what had happened between us, but I couldn't hold it in any more than I
could stop kissing Andrew. I had called him first thing that next morning and
gave him all the details and being the good friend that he is, he said all the
right things in all the right places. Of course, Linda was on the other phone
listening and I'm sure she was giving him all the cues he needed.
"Sorry, but it's the truth.
I really think he will stick with you and I haven't even met him. How do you
think he is going to feel knowing that you have kept this from him for so
long?" Ben folded his arms across his chest as if to challenge me with
that question. As if I hadn't already thought about that.
I plopped back into my chair and
held my head in my hands, "It's just not something I like to talk about,
Ben. I just want to spend what time I have left being happy with Liv and him
and not worrying so much. But all I do is worry. It's in the back of my mind
every day and now with Andrew… it's become this wedge that I can't seem to get
passed. I would do anything right now to get rid of it, just so I could be with
them both, for longer." I felt the tears burn in my eyes, but I blinked
them back desperately. I had shed too many tears in the last several years and
I was sick of them.
He didn't speak for a minute and
I hoped that meant he was going to drop the subject. When I looked up at him he
looked slightly pale and surprised.
"Are you in love with him,
Joss?"
I looked down at the chip in my
table and started picking at it as I nodded, "Yes. I have been for a
while."
He took a deep breath in and let
it out slowly, trying to absorb the fact that I had put myself in a difficult
situation. "And does he know that?"
I didn't respond which apparently
gave him his answer. Nope.
"Well, then it sounds like
you have a good enough reason to let him in on this. You'll regret it forever
if you wait much longer."
I sighed loudly and felt a
heaviness settle back down on my shoulders. "Yeah I know."
Suddenly, Monty hopped up and
skidded out of the kitchen to the living room. Andrew's voice stirred something
in my chest and Ben caught the smile that stretched across my face.
"Hey buddy, where are our
girls?"
He stopped at the doorway of the
kitchen and eyed Ben carefully before making his way over to me. "Good
morning, Sweetheart." He bent down, pressed a lingering kiss on my lips
and ran his fingers through my hair before moving to Liv and kissing her little
cheeks over and over again making her giggle loudly.
I felt a little flushed at his
attention and almost forgot that Ben was in the room. "Oh, Andrew, this is
Benjamin Moore," I said and waved my hand between them. "Ben, this is
Andrew Carter."
My friend, who was tiny compared
to Andrew, stood and offered his hand, Andrew took it firmly and they nodded at
each other in a way only men do.
"Nice to finally meet you,
Ben. Joss has told me a lot about you."
"Same here," he replied
with another nod. "I hear you two spend a lot of time together."
I felt my face turn bright red
and started cleaning Liv up to give me something to do. He was going to try and
embarrass me like he always did.
"Yeah, we try to. How could
I not, right? These two girls keep me happy, that's for sure." He beamed
at me and winked before helping me clear up some of the dishes. "Joss told
me you are a doctor, but she hasn't told me what kind of practice you
have."
"Oh, well um…" Ben
glanced over at me for help, but I couldn't really move. I stared back at him
and racked my brain trying to remember if I told him that I was a patient of
Ben's.
Olivia saved us all by grabbing
Ben's hand and pulling him to the living room to play with her. I let out the
breath I had been holding and Andrew stepped next to me and started scrubbing
the pans.
"You okay, babe?"
I nodded with a weak smile,
"Yeah, just a little tired."
He stopped scrubbing and dried
his hands off before placing them where my neck meets my shoulders and started
massaging.
"I missed you last
night," he muttered. He had worked pretty late the night before and we
didn't get a chance to really speak over the phone on his break. I was too busy
trying to bathe Liv and he kept getting pulled back out to help stop a couple
fights.
"I missed you, too." I
really did miss him. I missed him this morning. I missed him when I was
sleeping and when I woke up. I miss him all the time and when we are finally
together, I forget how painful it is to be away from him.
Andrew kissed me softly on the
forehead and gave my shoulders a squeeze, "Why don't you go catch up with
Ben. I'll get all of this cleaned up." And just like that, he made me fall
in love with him all over again. He was never selfish and he was always taking
care of me and Liv.
He brushed his lips over mine
slowly and rubbed my arms. I could tell that he meant for the kiss to be short
and sweet, but neither one of us allowed it. I wrapped my arms around his neck
and tilted my head to deepen the kiss until we were both trembling. His hands
dropped down to my hips and his fingers gripped me tightly and pulled me
closer, pressing our lower bodies together.
"Mommy? Play!" Olivia's
little voice chimed through the kitchen and we reluctantly pulled apart.
My lips were tingling and his
were swollen from the kiss. His eyes had darkened significantly, like a
thunderstorm over the ocean and only made it that much harder to walk away. I
finally did and as I turned away from him, he reached down and pinched my
bottom. He laughed when I made a weird yelping sound and I smacked him on the
arm.
"You'll pay for that,"
I said with a pathetic attempt to glare at him.
"Oh, I hope so."
I'm surprised I was able to make
it into the living room without swooning.
Honestly, who swoons anymore?
Andrew
I was going to ask Jocelyn to
marry me. I didn't know when or how, yet, but I knew it was going to happen
eventually. She was the woman I wanted to be with forever. First, I had to
convince her that it was a good idea to take things to the next level. I loved
her.
After meeting Ben, I saw a
different side of her. He and I got along pretty well and after a few threats
about keeping Jocelyn and Liv happy were thrown my way, I had a new respect for
the man. He loved both of them and I could only imagine what they had all been
through together. Knowing that we were on good terms must have made her feel a
little relief. One less thing to worry about.