Authors: Jill Shalvis
He lifted his head, his expression dark and passionate. "This isn't for curiosity's sake, or because you're tired of not knowing what pleasure is like," he grated out. "This isn't to get out of
toilet
duty, or to satisfy some bet. This is because I can't stop thinking about you, about your laugh, your voice, your everything, and I want it to be the same for you."
So intense, so sure. It should have terrified her all the more. Instead, it soothed her. "It's the same for me," she whispered.
He looked at her for a long moment, while her heart jerked painfully in her chest. Then, finally, he bent and kissed her, then bent further and drew a nipple into his mouth, causing her to gasp and arch as heat spread through her. He shifted, covering her other breast with his rough palm. And when his fingers trailed down over her quivering belly, she could hardly stand it because she remembered how he'd made her feel last time, as if she was flying off a cliff without a net.
Suddenly she was in a hurry to feel that way again, because she knew he would catch her, he'd always catch her. His fingers slid lower, lower still, and touched her, evoking a small, helpless sound.
"Do you like that?"
Hard to believe she could get this far with him and suddenly be torn between ecstasy and embarrassment.
"Hannah?" He stopped the magic with his fingers and a whimper escaped her lips before she could stop it.
"Yes," she managed. "But…
"
"But?"
"It was dark last time."
"You've seen me before, several times now."
"But … you haven't seen me."
"I want to," he murmured. "I want to see everything—the way your body flushes, the way your nipples go all tight and pouty, the way you pant for air and look at me with that glazed, helpless expression. You drive me wild, Hannah, and I want to see all of it. All of you."
He was touching her again, light, feathery touches over swollen and wet ultrasensitive flesh. Unable to stop herself, she writhed against his hand, and when he pressed open her legs, so that they wrapped around his hips, her head began to swim. She dug her fingers into the muscles of his arms and clung to his hard, warm, welcoming body, unable to believe how close to that edge of the cliff she already was. "Zach…
"
"I know. I know— Ahh." He sank a finger into her, making her cry out, and mindless now, she rocked her hips, frantic need slamming into her in relentless waves.
He entered her then, slowly, inch by inch, letting her body accommodate his, letting the heat and pleasure and desperate need intensify. He deepened the kiss as he thrust, pushing deep within her, burying himself to the hilt. "Oh baby," he whispered, and thrust again.
It was so powerful, so raw and …
perfect
.
There was tension and unbearable excitement clouding her thoughts, but even through them Hannah knew, this was different, what they had couldn't be found with anyone else.
The water cooled slightly, but it didn't matter, they had more than enough heat between them, and sliding her fingers into his silky hair, she cradled him with her arms and legs, pouring everything she had into the moment, knowing she'd never really lived before now.
The shower thundered over them, their hearts roared as one. Low moans mixed with soft cries. Slick skin against slick skin. Her hips undulated against his as she strained with him toward completion, consumed by the fever of it all.
She felt him shudder and groan, and felt a surge of power at making this strong man so weak with the wanting.
"Come for me now," he urged, gripping her hips, lifting her for a more perfect fit. "Hannah, now … I can't hold back—"
It didn't matter.
Her senses and body exploded in the sweetest, wildest pleasure imaginable, and she cried out.
On and on it went, unending, and she thought
she might even fall, but Zach somehow managed to hold on to her even as his own cry matched hers, his body convulsing as he met his own climax.
Chapter 12
H
annah came awake because her feet were cold. Frozen, as a matter of fact. So was her bare, naked bottom.
It took another moment of muddled confusion to realize this was because she was face-down, sprawled sideways across her bed, with no covers.
She reached down, groping for them, and came in contact with more icy skin, not her own this time. Resorting to opening her eyes, she saw that she had her hand on Zach's equally bare, and equally icy, rear end.
But it was a very fine rear end, as were his long, powerful legs and fight, sleek back.
All gloriously naked.
He too was sprawled sideways over the bed, which as she remembered now, is where they'd collapsed, exhausted, after a most incredible night.
His eyes were still closed, and she noted with some amusement that he had a slight smile on his face.
Something deep within her reacted at just the sight of him, and it wasn't anything she'd ever experienced before.
Oh, boy.
She was most definitely falling for him. Seriously falling.
One of his eyes opened, and when he saw her, his smile widened as his arm snaked out and grabbed her close.
"We're cold," she said inanely, gasping as he rolled and brought her in contact with his very warm chest and lower body.
"Well, give me a minute, I can change that." His big hands stroked her chilled skin. "Remember how I warmed you last night?"
Yes, she remembered. And blushed furiously with the memory, thank you very much.
"Ah, you do." He gave her a wicked smile.
She'd never forget. He'd warmed her over every single inch of her body until she'd been begging him for more.
Begging.
She wasn't likely to forget how quickly he'd obliged her.
Or how she'd returned the favor, thrilling to the dark, needy sounds she'd dragged out of him.
"Hannah."
She realized his smile had faded and he was watching her with utmost seriousness. In direct contrast, he tenderly stroked her face. "Last night, in the shower … I didn't use a condom."
"Oh."
Oh.
"I didn't protect you. I've never forgotten before,
never,
and—"
"It … it wasn't all your fault, I forgot too."
His face twisted, and he dropped his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry."
She knew the dangers of unprotected sex, and yet last night she'd never once thought about it. How could that have happened?
"I hate to leave without knowing," he said slowly. "If you're pregnant."
She hated the way her heart constricted at the thought of him going, much more than worrying about the possible consequences of last night. "I want you to promise to contact me if you are."
"Zach—"
"Promise," he urged, his eyes a fathomless blue. "If you don't, I'm going to stay until I find out for myself."
She stared at him for a long moment, seeing the genuine concern. He
would
stay, she knew that, he would think it his duty. And in that moment, she couldn't help but wonder, what would it be like to allow herself to be loved by such a man, with this all-consuming passion?
Would she want his baby?
Would she be wishing right now that they'd started a child last night?
"Hannah."
"All right," she murmured. "I promise."
"I mean it. I don't want you to face that alone."
"I promised, Zach. I meant it."
That seemed to relieve him, but all it did was up her confusion factor.
She'd resigned herself to him leaving, or at least had told herself she had, to accepting whatever it was they could share until that time. But if she wasn't careful, she'd be yearning for things like a white lacy wedding dress, a dreamy honeymoon and a house with a white picket fence.
Zach lifted his head to speak, to probably say something that would make her heart squeeze all the more, and she couldn't allow it. So she used the first distraction that came to mind, and tugged his head down to hers, kissed him, deepening it until he moaned and pulled her beneath him.
Talking was forgotten.
* * *
Tara and Alexi met in the kitchen early that morning. It wasn't a scheduled business meeting, but a secretive one, which explained why Hannah wasn't invited.
They needed to discuss her.
"She's falling for him," Tara said confidently.
"And he's falling for her, too," Alexi said, but she paced the kitchen. "Still, he's leaving soon and I don't see her just walking away from here to be with him. Not that I want her to go—"
"Of course not! But there can be compromises."
"Well, you would
think
so," Alexi said with a sigh. "But they're both so set in their lives."
"So what are we going to do?"
"Well damn, I don't know. Who would have thought matchmaking would be so darned difficult? We gave her a push with that silly toilet challenge thing, I would have thought she could take it from there." Irritably, Alexi started chewing on her nails. "I swear, you'd think I was the
older
sibling, the way I have to take charge of Zach's life."
"Excuse me?" Zach stepped into the kitchen, brow raised in query. "Take charge of my life? Since when?"
Tara stood. "Well, I'd love to stay but I have … stuff to do. Yeah,
stuff."
She shot Alexi a long look, smiled weakly at Zach, and left.
"Chicken,"
Alexi
muttered. She forced a bright smile at Zach. "Hey, good morning. How about breakfast?"
"Hold on. I see that look in your eyes, and I know it all too well. You're up to something, and unfortunately for me, it apparently involves my life. So spill it."
"Are you kidding? And risk life and limb?"
"I've never hurt you."
"What about the time you whacked me with a baseball?"
"I was nine and you'd just happened to wobble out on the back porch just as I hit it. I didn't mean to!"
"Uh-huh." She crossed her arms. "And how about the time you nearly lost me at Disneyland?"
"Hey, it's absolutely not my fault you fell asleep behind a rock on Tom Sawyer's island. I searched everywhere!"
Alexi smiled. "That was fun—you should have seen the look on your face when I popped up. You cried."
"I did not!"
"It's okay for a man to cry, Zach. In fact, it makes them sexy."
"I was twelve! And you're still doing it, you're
still
driving me crazy."
"That's why you love me so much."
"Yeah." And because he was in a good mood, and also because he knew she hated it, he ruffled her hair.
She growled and made him laugh. "Love you, too," he said with a grin.
"Oh, Zach." With a sudden fierceness, she grabbed him close in a hug. "And you're leaving again. I'll miss you so much. Why can't you be tired of the big city life by now? Avila really is a terrific place. You could be happy here if you tried."
Slowly, gently, he untangled himself and helped himself to a glass of iced tea, which he downed in two swallows because suddenly his mouth was dry.
And his heart heavy.
In a matter of days he'd be back in Los Angeles, on a new case.
Back to the grind.
Only he didn't think he was ready. For one thing, he was still tired. And for another…
Oh, who the hell was he kidding?
He was no longer tired.
He no longer hurt.
He was even in decent shape. There was no reason why he couldn't go back to work—except that he didn't want to.
He didn't want to leave Hannah.
A longer leave might temporarily solve the problem, but as Hannah had pointed out, that would only make it worse when
he
did go back.
Way worse.
He turned away from his sister's questing, worried gaze and looked out the window, which happened to overlook Hannah's beautiful gardens.
She was out there on her knees, bent over a small pot of daisies. Probably talking to them, he thought with a reluctant smile. She was beautiful out there, with the wind in her hair, the ocean at her back.
And from deep within him came an unrelenting yearning for … for what? And wasn't that just the problem? He couldn't put a name to this terrible aching need, and because he couldn't, he had no idea how to solve it
"She's very special."
Zach turned his head to look at Alexi, who was standing solemnly beside him, looking out the same window at the same woman.
"I can see how you look at her," Alexi said. "And the funny thing is, I just
knew
it would be this way between the two of you."
"I belong in Los Angeles, Alexi. And Hannah…" He looked out the window again, saw the slight smile carving her lips as she tended to her beloved plants. "She belongs here."
"No, she belongs with her heart. Which will be with you wherever you are."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Love," Alexi said simply. "I'm talking about love."
"Alexi—"
"Okay." She sighed. "Fine. We'll do this your way and pretend nothing is happening. Tell me you haven't felt an attraction for her. Tell me you haven't kissed her, not even once, not even to lick off strawberry pie from her shoulder."
"You've been spying on us!"
Alexi merely smiled smugly. "Well, really, Zach. How else do you expect me to help you?"
Zach groaned and turned back to the window.
Hannah was gone.
"Tell me," his sister pressed. "Tell me there's nothing between you two."
"Alexi—"
"Ah-ha! So you
have
been sleeping together!"
"I absolutely did not say that."
"Damn, you know what that means, don't you? Lots of toilet cleaning in my future." But she looked immensely pleased about it. "So … when do you move her down to Los Angeles? I'll miss her, of course, but—"
"She's not moving," Zach said flatly.
"Why?"
"Because I work undercover, for one. I couldn't see her anyway."
"Ever thought about not working undercover?"
All the time, lately. "Yes, actually. But she'd hate it there."
"Oh, right. Too much action and excitement, right?"
"It's not her style. I would never ask her to leave here. Her whole life is here."
"How do you know that for certain until you ask her?"
"I just know, all right?"
Alexi studied him for a long moment, her gaze full of disappointment and a growing anger. "You slept with her."
"Would you stop saying that! This is between me and her!"
"You slept with her," she repeated, undeterred. "You gave her that sparkle in her eyes, the one I've never seen before. You made her happy, dammit. And you're going to leave without looking back?"
"I thought your concern was for
me."
"You
are,"
she breathed. "You're going to turn what you had with her into … into a one-night stand! How could you!"
"You're the one who told me to do it!"
"I thought it would mean too much to you to leave if you did. Hannah is
not
the one-night stand type! You'll kill her!"
"It's
not
a one-night thing," he retorted, nearly as loudly as his sister, who was shouting at him now. "Believe me, we both—"
"We both what, Zach?"
Hannah.
She was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with an absolutely indescribable, unreadable look on her face.
"You guys look a little surprised," she noted coolly. "Let me give you a hint." She leaned close and spoke in a stage whisper. "Next time you're talking about someone, you might want to keep your voices down."
Her glorious green eyes were all but shooting daggers at Zach, her cheeks red with anger.
Had he really thought her expression unreadable?
It wasn't any longer, there could be no mistaking that vivid temper.
"And how
dare
you talk about me behind my back. Discussing me as if I don't have a brain in my own head!"
"Hannah—"
"Oh, be quiet, Alexi," Hannah said, not entirely unkindly. But when she turned to Zach, he was quite certain she wouldn't be nearly so gentle with him. "Zach was right," she said staring right at him. "This is between him and me."
"Look, Hannah—"
"Save it," she said succinctly. "For your curiosity's sake, and probably Tara's, yes, Zach and I had a one-night stand. Well, technically, it took more than one night, didn't it, Zach? But who's counting? This may come as a shock to you, Alexi, but I can make my own decisions."