Overexposed: The Complete Boxset: A Virgin Meets a Bad Boy Romance (12 page)

N
ot
ready to go home yet, I ask the cabbie to drop me at the entrance of Prospect Park. Right now I need nothing more than nature, fresh air, and a walk to clear my head. Especially when going home means facing this new life that I no longer want. And I need to ignore it just a little while longer. Tucking my hands into the pockets of my jacket, I wander along the path and try not to think of Eric or his conditions. But his words continue to haunt my footsteps. I’m unable to walk fast enough to escape them. Am I really willing to give everything over to him? To have the rest of my life dictated by a man that I can’t even find a scrap of respect for, at this point?

My mind races, trying to find any option where Eric doesn’t try to micromanage or blackmail me into doing whatever he says so that my secret life as Sierra stays just that, a secret. If I cave into his demands now, the rest of my life will be spent doing just that. Am I really ready to hand away my freedom, to be bound to a man who first ordered me to give him the fruits of my hard won labor and then banished me from his sight? As if I have brought so much shame upon his name that the very sight of me offends him.

To be honest, I’m not ashamed of Sierra. She made me stronger, more self-assured, willingly to go to any lengths to get what I want and what I need for myself by myself. I might have created her, but in the end it was her who gave me the life I always dreamed of. And I’d been too stupid and blind, too focused on an end goal, to truly appreciate the amazing opportunities that her life had afforded me. It wasn’t until I met Devon that I actually
knew
what it was like to free. He’d given me what I’d always been missing—love and acceptance with no strings attached, no ulterior motives. It had taken him to open my eyes and see life through a new lens.

I could have been content and happy with him by my side. I could have travelled the world with him, someone who saw all of me—both Anna and Sierra—and had awakened a longing for more. And what had I done, I pushed it away. I chose a life predetermined for me by people who didn’t care about the wants of my own heart. Am I really willingly to be a pawn in this dangerous game they’ve all been playing? I am not a prize to be given to the highest bidder, I am a gift to be unwrapped and treasured by someone who loves me. I know with utter certainty that Eric will never view me as anything other than a trophy—a thing to be used at his pleasure.

Silent tears carve a path down my face, and I wallow in self-pity as I make my way home.

I
nserting
the key into the front door, I reluctantly enter the warm cocoon of air that offers comfort from the cold. I close the door behind me and lean against it to gather the strength to face the consequences of my own actions. Regardless of my regrets, or the wants of my own heart, I’d thrown away my one chance at happiness. This is my life now, and it will be better if I resign myself to it now.

My footsteps are heavy on the stairs, and only seem to become more so as I make each landing. Then as I turn to head up the last flight of stairs, there is Devon. He’s sitting on the top landing, his hands folded in his lap, and his green eyes expectant. My heart trips a triple beat, and there is nothing I want more than to throw myself into his arms and beg his forgiveness. Instead my feet falter, and I grip the railing until my fingertips turn white. “What are you doing here? Especially after I told you we couldn’t do this anymore?”

His dark head of curls dips down momentarily, but then he forces it back up to meet my gaze. “I thought maybe I could change your mind.”

My blood rushes in bursts of hot and cold. “Why would you want to do that?”

He reaches out his hand, beckoning me to take it. “Because I love you, Anna.”

I stare at his outstretched hand. It would be so easy to let him capture me, to pull me by his side and never let me go. And yet, fear holds me back. “How could you love me? I don’t deserve it.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat, trying to ignore the stinging burn of tears behind my eyes, even as a single one escapes. Devon doesn’t hesitate, he pulls me to his side and wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders. “You deserve everything this world has to give you. You deserve more than me, but I’m willing to be better. To be what you need.”

“But…but why?” I stutter through the torrent of tears now coursing down my face. “I left you.”

Devon tilts my face until I meet his gaze. “I haven’t been able to forgive myself for letting you leave. I should have chased after you, begged you to stay. I never want to apart from you ever again.”

“I’m so sorry I left you. My father…my father…” I choke over the words, unable to finish my train of thought as he enfolds me into his arms, his hand lightly stroking my hair.

“I don’t care about your father wants,” Devon says, his voice fierce as his arms tighten. “I care about what you want. What you need. Ever since that first day, when I walked into the shoot at St John’s and saw your glorious body lying on the beach, I’ve wanted nothing more in my life. Something in that moment told me that my world was about to change, and that you were the key to my undoing. Even when I tried to distance myself from you, from my desire to own you, to posses you, I couldn’t stay away. Now I want nothing more than to protect and cherish you, to worship every part of you, for the rest of my days.”

I pull back to study his face, to test the truth of his words, and all I see is love and concern. “And what happens if you tire of me?”

“How could I ever tire of you? I need you like I need air to breathe. Tell me you don’t feel the same?”

I open my mouth to answer, but he doesn’t give me the chance. His mouth crashes down on mine, his lips and tongue showing me the truth of his words, of his devotion. At one time, I had thought Eric might have felt this way about me, now I know that his version of ownership means being locked away and used only when convenient. But Devon, his version of ownership is a two way partnership—a constant companion who challenges you to be a better version of yourself, to be equally cherished and adored, pampered and loved. New tears form and spill down my cheeks. Tears of freedom and relief.

Devon pulls free of our kiss, his fingertips catching the salty tears and his face falls. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have forced myself on you.”

Shaking my head, I force a wobbly smile. “They’re tears of happiness, Devon. I love you too.”

A second later I’m crushed in his arms, and I revel in the safety of them—despite the element of danger he represents. I’d only been holding onto my place in Eric’s world by a thread, and now Devon was the razor setting me free.

A movement over his shoulder temporarily distracts me, and I look up to meet Charlene’s gaze. She gives me a sad smile and nods her head before quietly closing the door between us. A stone settles in my stomach, and my previous doubts come flooding back. Charlene is giving me the chance to choose for myself the life I want. Only how can I choose between the man I love, and the only mother I’ve known who has loved me despite everything.

“Come with me,” Devon murmurs into my hair.

I almost ask where, but instead I simply nod my head. Not because it’s a good idea, but because if I make the decision to say goodbye I want at least one more night with him. I won’t be able to come home until I decide. And if I do decide to come home, it will be to cry onto Charlene shoulder as I drown myself in her vodka as we plan a wedding I dread with all of my heart. So instead, I let Devon make the decisions. I let him lead me down the stairs and back out into the cold.

Devon hails a cab, proclaiming that he’s going to show me a New York that he’s sure a Park Avenue Princess has never had a chance to explore.

T
wo hours later
, I find myself seated beside Devon in a cozy booth in his favorite late-night restaurant. He’d already taken me to a elaborate speak-easy, where the staff takes its job extremely seriously. I’d giggled when the small window cut into the door slid open, and Devon had lowered his voice to stage whisper, “I have to go see a man about a dog.” The window had slammed shut and for a few seconds I thought we’d failed to pass the test. But instead the door opened, and we were ushered inside. The ambiance of the place sent a secret thrill through my veins, and I could almost picture us as a dapper young couple living on the edge of danger. I’d allowed Devon to order us drinks, and had again laughed when my Mai Tai was served in a teacup and Devon’s beer bottle came wrapped in a brown paper bag.

Now while sneaking glances over my fancy menu at Devon’s handsome face, I knew I’d never regret this decision to come away with him—regardless of its final outcome. Devon catches my gaze, and his full lips stretch into a answering smile. “I recommend all of the pasta dishes, you can’t find any better in the US.”

I smile teasingly. “And you’ve had them all?”

Devon raises an eyebrow, and lowers his menu. “I wouldn’t go that far, but I know the best when I taste it.”

His words tickle across my skin, and my pussy tingles with his hidden insinuation. “Is that so?”

“It is.” He answers, his hand grazing over my thigh. Instantly my panties are soaked, and if not for the timely appearance of our waiter I might have returned the favor.

“That is not fair,” I whisper, before placing an order for pasta stuffed with chicken, ricotta, and spinach in a tomato cream sauce.

Devon places his order, and when the waiter leaves his hand slides from my thigh to cup my throbbing pussy. “I never agreed to play fair.”

“Well two can play that game,” I say with a smile, allowing my hand to come to rest on the fabric tented from his massive erection. I lean in and kiss his neck as I slowly stroke the hard, length of him through his jeans.

Devon releases a small moan which emboldens and enflames me with want equally. I allow myself one last loving stroke before I whisper in his ear. “I hope the pasta tastes as good as your cock in my mouth.”

His hand tightens around the soft mound between my thighs. “It’s almost as good as the thought of burying my cock balls deep inside that luscious cunt.”

A shiver of want races down my spine and comes to rest with an unrelenting want and need at the very core of me. “Promises, promises.”

Devon releases his hand with a ragged breath, and lays his napkin on his lap although it does little to hide his own need. “You’re going to be the death of me, woman.”

“Unless it’s la petite mort, then I’ll allow no such thing,” I answer with a wink.

Devon’s eyes darken, and for a moment I’m almost sure he’s about to throw me on the table and have his way with me—right here on the table in front of witnesses. The thought of that cause my chest to tighten and my breath to hitch, and I’m only saved by the appearance of our food.

I’ve never truly understood how eating in front of another person could be construed into something sexual, until having to watch Devon after our little episode. Every bite, every time he raised a napkin to his mouth, all I could think about was those lips, that tongue, and the magic I know they are both able to produce. And when we are finally finished, I’m so damned turned on that I can’t think straight. All I want is for him to take me back to his room and do all of the filthy things he’s vowed in the depths of his eyes. One long prelude to the promise of ecstasy.

“I’m not letting you go home after this.” Devon says, staring at me with a burning intensity.

“I wouldn’t expect any less of you.” I answer.

“Back to my room?” He asks, and I know what he’s asking, even though he doesn’t know the extent of what I'm offering.

“Yes.”

T
he über ride
seemed to take an eternity. An eternity of racing heart beats and soft caresses and gentle slow kisses. But now we’re here in his room, both of us watching each other with burning eyes and heaving chests—hesitant, as if we both know this moment in time will change everything. My need for Devon trumps every doubt, and it emboldens me. So I make the first move, my fingers quietly work to unbutton my blouse. As I let the silky material ghost down my skin and drift to the floor, I notice Devon’s eyes widen just a fraction and my face heats when I remember I’m still wearing the lingerie I’d purchased earlier that day. And with Devon’s fathomless green eyes sweeping the curves of my body, I’m glad that it's him—his eyes—that will be the one to see me in it.

My hands tremble slightly as they unzip my skirt and let it puddle around my feet on the floor. I stand before him, vulnerable and willing and waiting for Devon to make the next move. But he stands stock still, letting his gaze linger and caress, as if he’s admiring a work of art. My body flushes and tingling fingers of want surge through my bloodstream as I wait. And then it’s my turn to watch as he crosses his arms over his chest to grasp the hem of his sweater and pull it over his head. My fingers itch to trace the lines of his torso, to glide over the hard ridges of his chest and abs, and to follow the taut v of muscle to the promised land. But I remain still. Only my eyes track the progression of his hands as his pants, boxers, and socks join his sweater on the pile on the floor.

I glory in the sight of his naked body. At the thick, glorious length of him as it bobs heavily in the air. Has any human ever been more exquisitely beautiful? My breath hitches in my chest, and that small noise proves Devon’s undoing. He closes the distance between us, his warm right hand slipping through my hair to anchor at the base of my neck, his left hand cupping my ass and pulling me against the lines of his body as his lips claim mine.

He drinks and drinks and drinks my breath, his tongue sweeping across mine with wordless promises. I answer him with a ferocity of my own, lost in a language of breath and lips and teeth and tongue. But before I drown, I use all of my willpower to break free of the spell he’s weaving. Long enough to meet his puzzled gaze, with a convicted one of my own. “Devon, I want you to have me. All of me. I don’t need to hold onto some fairytale when I’ve already found you.”

His hand tightens on my ass, his eyes searching mine for the truth of my words. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more so.”

Devon’s hands settle on my hips, curling around the edges of my lacy bottoms and yanking them free. He traces a path from my thighs to my ribcage and around my back to release my breasts from their confines. He palms each of them as if savoring their weight, my nipples becoming hard peaks beneath his attentions before I’m lifted into his arms. My pussy throbs as the hard length of his cock slides across its slick folds. A whimper escapes my throat as I arch against the edge of his dick, my clit thrumming with the frictions as I glide along the top of his cock.

“Not yet, my beautiful dirty girl.” Devon murmurs against the hollow of my neck as he lowers me to the bed. And then his hot, wet mouth takes one nipple and sucks hard while massaging and plucking at my other, and when my hips buck beneath his expert mouth he begins a slow assault from my ribs, across my stomach, to the soft skin of my inner thighs. He teases the sensitive area, his breath washing across my weeping core, until every fragment—every cell—of my body is begging to have have him release me from his exquisite torture.

“Please…” my voice is ragged, my pussy thrumming to the erratic beat of my heart. “Devon.”

A shudder runs over his frame, and my fingers find purchase in his thick chestnut curls as I lift my hips toward his delectable mouth, trying my best to show him what I need. And he answers my call, thrusting two fingers deep inside of me as his tongue sweeps across my swollen seam. My eyes roll back into my head as he pulls my clit into his succulent mouth, sucking and swirling hard circles against the tight bundle of nerves with his special brand of voodoo. Every muscle in my body tenses as heat builds and bubbles low in my abdomen and my legs begin to shake. “Devon…please…I’m going to…”

Devon ignores me, increasing the pressure and sliding another finger into my once taboo area, the added sensation vibrates through the sensitive ring and intensifies and combines with the magic of his mouth and fingers. And my body erupts, a molten burst of heat which sweeps across my body and sinks deep into my bones—leaving me screaming his name and my body limp and pliant.

It’s not enough, I want to
finally
feel the stretch of his cock inside of me. Filling me. I want to give him what I’d been afraid of giving anyone, and I finally understand why I was never able to with Eric. Because it was always Devon I was waiting for. He is my fairytale.

So I reach low between us, grasping his cock in my hand and lightly guide him to my mouth. With the velvety tip of his crown resting in the curve of my bottom lip, I look into his eyes. His eyes are burning emeralds as take him into my mouth, an inch at a time. The need to allow him to thrust with abandon against my tongue is urgent and demanding, but I refuse to hurry. I want to tease and taunt, to bring him to the edge with long languid strokes, until he can’t focus on anything but claiming me. Wrapping a hand around his thick, long cock I match the strokes of my mouth. But I hadn’t taken into count the way his groans of pleasure would soar through my body in bursts of want and exhilaration. That I would want to take him deeper, have him thrust harder as my pussy began to weep and pulse with pure unadulterated need.

With a growl, Devon pulls away—his eyes filled with predatorial hunger—and he shifts himself until he is nestled between my thighs. “Are you still sure?”

His words crackle through the air and every part of me screams my answer as I say, “Yes. God please, yes!”

My body shivers with anticipation, at stepping over this last line I’d drawn in the imaginary sand of my mind. And then all thoughts are banished from my mind as he pushes slowly through my silken folds, past the point of no return, and I nearly come undone as he stretches and fills me so completely. My hands dig into his ass, wanting him impossibly deeper, to blur the line between where I begin and he ends.

“Anna you feel so good. You’re so tight and wet.” Leaning forward he braces his hands on either side of me and grinds himself slowly against me. Letting me experience the sensation of feeling every inch of him sliding in and out of me.

I cry out and quiver beneath him. “More. I need more of you.”

Devon’s cock twitches and he thrusts as deep into me as he can and rolls until I’m now on top of him. “Show me what you need.”

Unsure but guided by the dull ache deep in the pit of my stomach I begin to move. Devon’s warm, strong hands at my waist help me to ride up and down the thick, long length of him until nothing but rising in the tidal wave of sensation overwhelms me. Taking in the full length of him, I rest my hands behind me on the muscles of his thighs and ride him with wild abandon. His hands cup my breasts, plucking at the their hard peaks before pinching them with just enough pressure to cause me to lose the last of my control. I scream his name into the air as his hands drop to my waist and he thrusts in earnest as I crest the wave—my chest tight as I tumble over the edge—lost in the swirling vortex that pulls and pushes over and under again.

When I come back to myself, I’m once again laying on my back, Devon’s face buried in my shoulder as he thrusts into my trembling folds. I throb and clench around his rock hard dick as he begins to chase his own release. His moans soak into my skin, and awaken the storm that seems to always be brewing beneath my skin when he is involved. I wrap my legs around his waist, and clench his glorious ass in an effort to let him delve deeper, to fill me more completely.

My body is on fire and I’m incredulous over the way he affects my body—that I’m going to climax a third time from this man who must be half-god. He drives into me again and again and again, and I can’t help but think its not enough. I will never have enough of Devon.

“Anna.” The sound of my name on his lips quivers and crackles through my body like wildfire, and an answering sound bubbles from my mouth over the perfect fullness of him stretching me combining with the waves of vibration from my last orgasm pulsing around him like an erotic sheath.

“Harder. Fuck me harder.” I pant as he loses the small hold he had on his self-control. He anchors himself on either side of me and begins to thrust with something akin to a primal urgency, and the deeper and harder he thrusts the more I want. I cling to him, wanting to disappear into his skin, his bones, down into the deepest part of his soul while every nerve is alive and bursting, my breath coming in ragged little gasps. My vision starts to darken along the edges and I feel the tightening in my chest, the agony and rapture of losing myself again, and then I’m lost. Lost in the night sky, dancing through the galaxies that Devon has created for me, fingers trailing through the clusters of stars.

Crashing back into my body—to the aftershocks of the glorious orgasm I just experienced—I hear the long guttural moan of Devon as his body shudders and his cock throbs in time to the clenching of my pussy as I milk his dick and feel the warm spreading burst of him deep inside.

He collapses on top of me, wrapping me in his arms, as he whispers. “I love you.”

I pull him impossibly closer, a tear slipping from the corner of my eye. “I love you too.”

H
ours
later I wake up drenched in sweat. My earlier convictions of being strong against my father and Eric, of being able to walk away from the tight fisted control they wield, seems to fall like ashes around my feet. Suddenly I’m fearful, my body flashing in bursts of hot and cold as I imagine a world where I have no one. Where I’m forced to say good-bye to yet another mother, to what remains of my family. I turn my head to look at Devon. His long lashes upon his cheeks as he sleeps peacefully. I want—more than anything in this world—to believe that he’ll be enough. That he’ll never leave or abandon me, that I’ll never be alone. But I can’t ask him to make those promises. I’m not even sure that I’d believe them.

I know in my heart that I love him, and I know that he loves me. But is it enough? Will it be enough?

There’s only one person that I trust to confide in. That I know will listen and tell me the truths that I desperately need to hear. But going to Charlene now means that I also need to give up Devon. For good.

I’m not strong enough to do either. But I’m also not strong enough to not.

Leaning over, I plant a kiss on Devon’s lips. He stirs and gathers me into his arms. His cock already growing in thickness and length as it nudges against my suddenly wet folds. I’m definitely not strong enough to deny him or myself this. Instead I revel in the weight of his body on mine. The soul-satisfying stretch of his cock as it fills me with a perfection that I know I’ll never encounter again. Turning off my brain has never been this easy. So I lose myself to the brewing storm, who am I to deny myself another trip to my Devon formed galaxies.

I
wait
until he falls back asleep, and then I wait another hour more. I lay there memorizing every feature, every dip and curve of his body—searing it to memory—before I slowly crawl out of the bed and silently dress. Sitting at the desk, I write him a note.

Devon,

I’m sorry that I’m not here when you wake. It was too hard to face you, knowing that I have to say good-bye. I’m sorry that I’m too much of a coward to face a life without my family. Leaving you is the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will never regret any moment that I was lucky enough to have you in my life. I’m so blessed to have found my true life fairytale and to have given you all of me. I will treasure you forever. I hope that someday you will be willing to forgive me.

I love you forever and a day,

Anna

Tears drip down my face as I study his sleeping form one last time, trying to commit his face to memory. And then because I can’t help myself, I take out my phone, turn off the flash, and snap a picture. Holding the phone to my heart I slowly turn, before opening the door and leave.