Well, that felt nice.
“I’m into him too,” I shared.
Lan nodded. “I can tell. I’m missin’ somethin’ from the last deep conversation I had with Park, seein’ as it was a long time ago, I can tell that too. What I gotta know is that this isn’t you steppin’ out from under grief, usin’ him to do it, and then you’re gonna leave him behind to go find another clean-cut guy you wanna hitch your star to.”
At that, my back went straight.
“I’m Chaos,” I reminded him, and he nodded.
“You are. I know that. Reigning princess. It’s my understanding, though, you turned your back on that for your last man.”
He was correct but he was going in the wrong direction.
“You can’t control who you fall in love with, Landon,” I pointed out, trying to keep the sharp out of my voice.
“No, you can’t. But you can dig down deep and assess if the man you’re with now genuinely means somethin’ to you, like you do to him, or if you’re on the rebound.”
I sucked in breath in an effort not to get angry and when I got it under control, I told him firmly, “I’m not on the rebound.”
“You didn’t dig deep, Tabby,” he returned quickly but gently, and I stared at him.
Then I leaned forward and locked my eyes to his.
“You two get a moment alone and, Landon, I’ll be talking with Shy shortly to get him to give you that as well as leave me to the stuff I have to do since I made some major decisions just yesterday, possibly screwing up my career, maybe being homeless and jobless, all so I could be with your brother, and I need to sort out my life.”
His eyes flashed.
I kept talking.
“But when you two have that moment, he’ll tell you what’s been going on the last seven months. What he won’t tell you is what it meant to me because he can’t know. So, if I can manage the herculean feat of sharing all Shy meant to me in the last seven months in the two minutes I have before he returns, I’ll do that.”
He said nothing, just stared at me intently so I kept going.
“Yes, he helped me get over Jason, and he did it in a just-friends way that was no pressure. Until certain things I’ll let him share happened, he had my back every single day since I let him back in after Jason died. My loss was too fresh, I wouldn’t allow myself to consider having the same emotions for another man so soon after losing the one I intended to spend the rest of my life with, so I denied that was growing between us.”
I hesitated a moment for effect then went on.
“That said, from the very first night I let him back in, I knew what had started growing between us.”
This got another flash but I ignored it and continued speaking.
“But I didn’t deny the fact that I knew, when I was with Shy or even talking to him, I felt more me than I’d felt in years, after Jason died, before Jason died, before I even met Jason. So I can assure you I am not with Shy now as gratitude for his kindness. I’m also not with him because I’m lonely. Further, I’m not with him to test the waters of putting myself out there again.”
I sucked in a breath, held his eyes and laid it out.
For him and for me.
“I’m with him because when I’m with him, I’m free to be me. I’m with him because he’s hot. I’m with him because he lets me blather, since I’m prone to blathering, and he lets me rant when I have a bad day. I’m with him because when I rant, he makes me feel better and he does this effortlessly. I’m with him because I live for the times when I’m on the back of his bike and we’re riding together, not even talking, just being free.”
I shook my hands in front of me and kept giving Landon the honesty.
“Crap went down between us that’s my fault because I was messed up, confused, acting stupid and frankly immature, and Shy got understandably angry at me. We were apart for a month and I was lost. Totally. Lost in a way I wasn’t even lost when I lost Jason. Now we’re back together and I’m found. If I’m misinterpreting things and that all spells ‘rebound’ to you, my apologies. It doesn’t to me. For the first time in a long,
long
time, I’m happy. I’m also happy to take the time to prove to you I’m willing to do my part to see we go the distance. I just hope you won’t mess with it in the meantime, because you yourself said you noticed your brother is happy too, he is in a way I’ve never seen, and it would be nice if you wouldn’t fuck that up.”
“I hope you know, it goes without sayin’ I’ll give my brother that,” he replied.
“Good,” I returned instantly. “I’m glad to hear that, but just a heads-up, it would be good to know you’re also going to have his back. His brothers in the Club are protective of me, understandably more protective after what happened with Jason, and I think you might guess, when they find out we’re together, that might not go great for us. Shy hasn’t exactly lived his life holding it precious waiting for
the one
.”
That got me a lip twitch but I ignored that and powered on.
“We could get lucky and they’ll accept us with open arms. Unfortunately, I don’t see this happening. You know who I am, so you also know my dad is the president of the Club, and if he doesn’t feel like welcoming Shy into my life with a smile and a handshake, he can make things difficult for him. So if Shy unloads on you what might happen, I’m asking now that you don’t let your misgivings about us shadow the support you’d give to him.”
This got me another eye flash and a low, kind of rumbly, “I’d never do that, Tabby.”
“Good,” I returned. “Then I think we both know where the other stands.”
“What the fuck are you two talkin’ about?”
Shy’s voice was also low and rumbly.
Not good.
“Park—” Landon started but didn’t continue when Shy, coffee mugs in each hand, shifted to the side of Lan’s chair and turned angry eyes down at his brother.
“Do we gotta go outside and talk?” he asked.
Uh-oh.
I stood as did Landon and, not unusually, my mouth got there first.
“Everything’s cool, darlin’.”
Shy turned his eyes to me. “Not from what I heard.”
“Take two seconds,” I began, “put yourself in Landon’s shoes, think of meeting the woman who held a grudge against your brother for years and then you hear she lost a fiancé and when you show up and see they’re suddenly and inexplicably tight… what would you do?”
Shy set the mugs on the coffee table and turned to his brother.
“What I would do is have a care about the loss she had even if it isn’t still fresh and understand my brother isn’t a fuckin’ moron.”
Uh-oh!
“Shy—” I began, but Landon got there before me.
“Park, I don’t think you’re a moron, but I do think you know where I’m coming from.”
Shy’s arm snaked out, his fingers curling around the side of my neck and I found myself flying toward him, my front landing hard against the side of his body. His hand moved so his arm could curve tight around my shoulders, his other hand crossed his body so his fingers could curl into my waist and through all this, his gaze didn’t leave his brother.
“Look at me, what do you see?” he growled and when Landon didn’t answer, he repeated his demand, “What do you see?”
Oh God.
I didn’t know whether to feel elated because I knew what Shy thought Landon would see or terrified because I didn’t want a bust-up to happen in Fortnum’s bookstore, not with that crazy guy behind the counter. He’d side with Landon and Shy would be outnumbered.
My eyes shifted to Landon to see him taking us in then they moved to Shy’s face.
“I see it, Park,” he said softly.
“Fuckin’ brilliant, Lan,” Shy bit off. “Now, you get this. Do not”—he leaned us toward his brother—“
ever
blindside my woman like that. I’ll let this one go ’cause I’m happy as fuck you’re home. It happens again, I won’t let it go. Are you with me?”
“I didn’t take any offense, Shy, honestly,” I told him quickly, hoping to defuse his anger, even as I felt the warm protectiveness of his words settling straight into my soul.
His eyes sliced down to me. “Well I did.”
Message clear.
“Righty ho, biker boss,” I muttered quickly and Shy’s eyes narrowed.
“Don’t be fuckin’ cute and, honest to God, if you lick your lip, I’ll lose my mind. Next time you lick your lip you do it when we are nowhere near a public place and I can let loose the reaction I’ve had half a million fuckin’ times over four fuckin’ years every time I’ve seen you do it, not here, in a bookstore where I can’t.”
Regardless of the tense situation, that gave me a tingle and an even warmer feeling settling in my soul, but I fought the urge to lick my lip (which was precisely what I was going to do) and I just stared at him.
He stared at my mouth then his gaze went to my eyes then he looked back at his brother.
So did I and I saw him smiling.
“I’m not findin’ anything worth smilin’ about,” Shy warned.
“Sorry, Park, but, gotta admit, I’m smilin’ so I don’t laugh my ass off, since if I did that, I’m gettin’ the sense you’d take a swing at me.”
“I’m not findin’ anything worth laughin’ about either,” Shy stated.
“That’s because you can’t see you two. Seriously, Park, I gotta say it. You’re totally fuckin’ cute together.”
I pressed my lips together in another effort not to lick my lip, pretty sure Shy would never want to be described as cute
ever
.
I was wrong.
“No shit? You just noticed that? Jesus, Lan,” Shy replied.
“No. Noticed it at your house but was more focused on your girl bein’ cute, hot, and in a sheet. Since she’s fully clothed now, it’s comin’ through more.”
This, again, was what I considered not a good response from Landon Cage, seeing as I didn’t suspect Shy would like it made clear his brother thought I was cute and hot and got distracted by me being in a sheet, and this time I was right.
“Are you shitting me?” Shy ground out.
“Can we drink coffee?” I jumped in. “I need caffeine. Then I need food. Then I need to make a few calls so I can figure out if I’ve got a home and a job. Watching you two badasses go head to head, albeit hot, is not helping me sort out my life. So if you’d get a move on from this, I’d appreciate it.”
Shy’s eyes quickly came down to me and I noted immediately his expression had changed from anger to soothing.
“Sugar, you’ll be good,” he assured me.
“Yeah, I will, but to be good, I need to make a few phone calls, so can we get on with our morning?” I fired back, and his lips twitched.
“We can get on with our morning,” he agreed.
“Awesome,” I muttered, rolling my eyes at Shy, but when they hit Landon, I smiled.
He smiled back.
“Travelin’man!” Tex the crazy coffee guy boomed. “Your drink is gettin’ cold. Get your ass over here and get it ’cause I’m not makin’ another one unless you pay for it.”
Shy gave me a squeeze then gave his brother a look that told him to behave the thirty seconds Shy would be gone, and he sauntered over to get the last coffee.
I gave Lan another smile and sat my booty back down on the couch.
Lan folded his long body into the armchair.
“Uh, Tab, just so you know,” he started. “That time it’s gonna take for you to prove you intend to go the distance with Park just got a lot fuckin’ shorter.”
His words hit me in a nice place. I sent another smile at him and even I knew it was huge.
And happy.
* * *
I looked up at Shy as Shy looked down at me.
We were in my bed. We were naked. I was on my back, one leg wrapped around Shy’s hip, one leg extended, pressed up against his torso, ankle to his shoulder. Shy’s hips were between mine, one hand gliding up my shin at his chest, one hand in the bed, his cock moving inside me.
“Gotta say, baby,” he murmured. “You’re beautiful always but you’re seriously fuckin’ beautiful when you’re takin’ me.”
God.
God.
I loved it when he said stuff like that while he was making love to me.
“Gotta say, darlin’,” I murmured back huskily. “You’re handsome always, but you’re seriously handsome when you’re giving it to me.”
His eyes, already hot, scorched into me even as his mouth curved and his hand moved down, down, down, until it curved around my thigh. His thumb found me as he whispered, “Let’s see how much more beautiful you can be.”
Then he pressed and circled. I moaned, my neck arched, my leg around him tensed, and his hips drove harder and faster between mine.
“Beauty, unbelievable,” he growled.
I tipped my half-mast eyes to him, his face darker, his eyes so hot I thought the bed would combust, and he was right.
Beauty, unbelievable.
Not me.
Him.
His thumb pressed deeper, circled faster as his hips pumped harder, and I whispered urgently, “Shy.”
“Come without me, honey. This time I wanna watch.”
Free to do as he asked, I did and it was
spectacular
.
It was only when I was coming down that his thumb left me. He rolled us so he was on his back, I was astride him, and both his hands framed my head, moving it so he could look at me.
“Take me there,” he ordered roughly. “I wanna watch you move on me.”
Without delay, wanting to give him what he wanted, I sat up and gave him what he wanted. Doing it slowly at first, then faster, harder, my hands moving on his chest, my eyes never leaving his face, my excitement building again as I watched what I was giving him build, then his hands at my hips yanked me down, kept me full of him, and he gave it to me.
As he felt his orgasm, I dropped to him, chest to chest, my fingers drifting over his skin, my mouth in his neck, my tongue darting out to taste.
He closed his arms around me and he kissed me on my forehead. His head righted, I shoved my face in his neck, and we lay there for a while, silently.
I didn’t know what Shy was thinking about, but I took that time to savor the last forty-five minutes. Then I took more time savoring my most favorite parts. Since all of the parts were savor-worthy, this took a while.
After that, my mind moved to my day, post coffee with two badass brothers.
The good news was, my apartment was mine again. They hadn’t even put in an ad, so they were happy for me to sign another lease.