Authors: Brei Betzold
“Because
you were there, Girl, he wasn’t saying that shit to you, he was saying it to
himself. All the thoughts he’s kept locked inside finally came out directed at
you. He’s kept you so close, protected you to the point of suffocation, all of
it, because he felt like he had to prove it to himself and you that he could
take care of you.”
“I
never blamed him, not once.”
“I
know you didn’t, you blamed yourself.”
I
sighed and looked at him, “What now?”
“Well,
now you finish this, go home, and start your life.”
“I’ve
gotta find a place to live,” I groaned.
“Well
that would be a good idea since Cas already put his place up for sale.”
I
gasped, “He did?”
“Yeah,
while he was up there last weekend.”
“Well
that’s great, glad he told me,” I growled.
“I
was going to wait until you got home before talking to you about this, but
might as well tell you now.” He pulled the truck over on the side of the road
and looked at me. “You know the second floor of the bike shop, where we used
to keep junk from both shops? Well I had it cleaned out and had people up there
turning into an apartment for you.”
I
looked at him for a moment letting that penetrate.
“Why?
I mean, thank you that’s amazing but why now?”
He
sighed and rubbed his chin. “I saw this or something like this coming. You’ve
been becoming more independent the past year that he’s been gone, and I wanted
to make sure you were taken care of.”
“Thank
you, Grandpa,” I whispered and leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“What
have I told you about that?”
“Sorry
Saul,” I smiled at him, “and thank you.”
“Good
thing I made it a two bedroom, looks like that boy is coming to San Diego.”
I
nodded, “Yeah, he is, he said something about working for Matt, but we’re
taking things slow.”
“Uh
huh, I see it in your eyes, Girl. His sister’s going to need a place to
sleep.”
He
pulled back out and turned us back towards town. We were quiet until he pulled
back up to the garage.
“Kick
their asses, Girl,” he growled.
“Yes
sir, drive home safe.”
He
nodded, “I’m proud of you, Scout.”
“Thank
you,” I murmured. “Love you and call me when you get home.”
“All
right,” he said and I hopped out of the truck and headed to Stella smiling.
Chapter
40
I
was halfway back to my motel room when I remembered that I had left all the
things I had bought yesterday at Thayne’s apartment. I cursed and headed
towards the store, again. I made it a quick trip in and out, only grabbing the
essentials, and finally made it back to my motel room. I pulled up into the
parking lot and found Cas standing by the lobby, I waved at him and drove on to
my room. He walked up as I was pulling my helmet off. I climbed off my bike
and grabbed my bags from the saddlebags, then walked towards my door, waving
him in after I unlocked it.
“Cas,”
I said in way of greeting and tossed my bags on the bed, “what can I do for
you?”
“We’re
heading back with Saul. We were going to leave on Saturday but some things
have come up.”
I
nodded, “So you’re leaving tomorrow?”
“Yeah,”
he said looking around the room, “you can have your room back at the rental.”
I
shrugged, “We’ll see.”
“How
much longer do you have the room?”
“End
of the week for now.”
He
nodded, “And when all the people start showing up, where will you go?”
“Haven’t
worked it out yet.”
He
snorted, “Great plan you have here, Scout.”
“I’ll
figure it out.”
“Just
go back to the rental, Scout.”
“If
you came here to bark out orders then you can leave, Cas.”
He
sighed and rubbed his head, “Sorry, it’s just habit, I guess.”
“What
do you want, Cas?”
“To
talk, I just want to talk to you.”
“Okay,
so let’s talk.”
“I
don’t know where to start.”
I
just looked at him for a moment then shook my head, “How about we start at the
beginning?”
“The
beginning,” he mused. “All right I can do that, when you were…” he paused and
looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes then he blinked and it was
gone, “hurt, I was so pissed, at you, at me, at Ace, everyone. You were so
tiny, and for that first year, you just, you were so closed off that I thought
we were never going to get you back. I mean, you didn’t talk, we could barely
get you to eat, I didn’t think you’d survive,” he choked out. “Then you just
kind of woke up, but you weren’t you anymore. You were so scared and timid;
you wouldn’t look at anyone. Then you,” he stopped taking a deep breath. “You
tried to well, the thing with the pills, then the hair. It was just all of it
and I promised that I wouldn’t let you get hurt ever again, so I did what I
thought was best. I just wanted to protect you. Holly pointed out that maybe
in my need to protect you that I never let you heal. If that’s the case then
I’m sorry that was never-I would never hurt you. I never meant to hurt you.”
I
wiped the tears off my cheek and nodded, “I know you never meant to hurt me
Cas, and I understand you want to protect me, but you can’t protect me from
life. I need to learn how to take care of myself, I am going to stumble, and I
am going to fall, but I’ll also get to laugh, to love, to be happy. I will get
to make new memories.” I smiled remembering Thayne telling me that.
“I’ll
try to back off okay, I can’t promise anything but I will try.”
“Thank
you Cas, and I do love you.”
He
hugged me and I hugged him back. “I love you too, baby girl.”
“So
Holly and I decided to stick around San Diego for a while, not because of you,
well not all because of you, I’ve been offered a job.”
“A
job?”
“Yeah,”
he said smiling, “at a security company. I would be working with the
electronics side of it, helping them build better systems.”
“Mmhmm,
you like doing that stuff.”
“Yeah,
I do, and Holly wants to go back to school, she can do that in San Diego just
as easily as in Tennessee.”
“I’m
moving out,” I told him.
“I
know, Saul already told me about the apartment. My new company is installing
alarm system in the shop and apartment.”
I
laughed, “If that will make you feel better about it.”
“It
will.”
“Then
go for it.”
“When
your week is up here, go back to the rental. I am not ordering you, it’s just
common sense, you already paid your share.”
I
sighed, “I’ll think about it.”
He
nodded, “And I’ll try and be nice to what’s his name.”
“His
name is Thayne and you know that,” I griped.
“So
what’s the plan with you two? I mean, he lives in Arizona and you in
California. It’s going to be rough.”
“He’s
moving to San Diego,” I murmured watching for Cas’s reaction, his jaw
twitched. “He’s going to take a job with Matt.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,
he can’t work for Ace anymore. He’s quitting after the show is over then he
and Nikki are moving.”
“Well
that should make things easier on you.”
I
nodded, “Yeah, though he will be working for my competition.”
He
laughed, “Matt is no competition to you. He does old school choppers, and you
are more inventive.”
“Yeah,
I guess so, though his bikes are pretty.”
“They
are, nothing wrong with going old school.”
“So
we’re good?”
“Yeah,
we’re good, except I do not blame you for what happened, and I know you fought,
I know that, never doubt that. All that bullshit I said, I didn’t mean it.”
“I
know, it hurt, but I know and I forgive you, Cas.”
“So
you don’t hate me anymore?”
I
snorted, “I could never hate you, and I’m sorry for anything I said or did that
hurt you.”
He
nodded and kissed me on the top of the head, “Love you baby girl.”
“Love
you too, big brother, now go home to your fiancée.”
“Do
you like her?”
I
nodded, “I do, and she won’t put with your shit.”
“No,
she doesn’t. By the way, thanks for getting me in trouble,” he said walking
towards the door.
“That
was all your own fault, you need to work on the whole keeping secrets from
people thing.”
“Oh
I know she already laid into me about it.”
I
smiled widely. “Good.”
“Why
do I feel that between the two of you I will never get away with anything ever
again.”
“Because
you won’t,” I told him. “Call me when you get home, k.”
“K,
see ya, Scout,” he said then walked out the door.
I
sighed and fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I was done for the
day, no more talking I decided just as my phone went off. I reached into my
pocket and pulled it out then smiled when I saw it was a text from Thayne.
THAYNE:
WHERE R U?
SCOUT:
BED
THAYNE:
HMM WANT COMPANY?
SCOUT:
NOT TONIGHT
THAYNE:
YOU OKAY?
SCOUT:
YEAH I THINK I AM
THAYNE:
SEE YOU TOMORROW
SCOUT:
YEAH, NIGHT
THAYNE:
SWEET DREAMS, BELLA
I
forced myself to get up and shower then fell face first into the bed.
I
walked into the shop the next morning listening to my MP3 player. I felt
someone tap my shoulder. I looked over and found Ace standing there. I sighed
internally, it had been such a good morning.
“Yeah,”
I asked pulling an ear bud out.
“Good
luck today.”
“Uhm,
thanks,” I replied a little befuddled.
“Want
to get a cup of coffee with me in the break room?”
“Uhm
sure,” I said looking around for the catch.
We
walked into the break room and I glanced around finding Thayne standing there
talking to Matt. They both looked up watching us enter. I shrugged at the
question in their eyes.
When
we got to the coffee pot, I fixed myself a cup watching him out of the corner
of my eye. I wanted to know what this was all about.
After
he got his cup, he leaned against the counter and looked at me over the rim of
his cup, “So, Scout, how have you been?”
“Fine,”
I told him, looking over towards Thayne who was now watching us blatantly.
He
looked over towards where Matt and Thayne were, nodded, then looked back at me,
“So I hear I am losing one of my staff.”
I
shrugged not saying anything, if he didn’t know for sure I wasn’t going to be
the one to confirm it.
“So
you’re going to ruin his life like you did Tristan’s?”
The
sound of that name made me cringe. I took a deep breath and looked at him, “Is
that all Ace? You wanted to talk to me so you could make me feel bad? Well
fuck you then, I’m done with caring what you think,” I told him then went to
walk away when his hand snaked out and grabbed my arm. I looked down at his
hand then back up at him glaring. “Let go of my arm before I remove it.”
He
huffed out a laugh but let go, “I can talk to you anyway I want, I am your
father after all.”
I
shook my head, “No, you aren’t after all, you never were, not by biology or
act.” I walked off towards Matt and Thayne without saying another word to him.
“You
okay, Bella?” Thayne asked when I got close. I nodded as he put an arm over my
shoulder dragging me to his side and kissing the top of my head.
“Sure,
Seraph?”
“Yeah,
he just wanted to talk.”
“Well
whatever you said must have stunned him because he keeps staring at you.”
I
shrugged, “Don’t care anymore.”
Thayne
nodded, looking down at me, I smiled at him as he hip checked me, “So you ready
to lose today?”
“Who
said I was losing?”
“Well
Scout, I mean, not to say anything about, well I mean…” Thayne stammered.
I
looked over at Matt who started laughing softly, “What’s his deal?”
“He
thinks your paint job was boring and that you’re going to lose.”
“Are
they basing it off of just the paint job, or tank design as well?”
“Both,”
Matt answered.
I
shrugged, “Then we’re fine.”
“Uh
huh, you are up to something, Seraph. I have known you since birth and I know
that look of innocence is fake.”
I
bat my eyelashes at him, “I am innocent,” I cooed.
He
laughed outright, “No, not you, I know too much to fall for that trap.”
Thayne
looked back and forth between us looking confused. “Why do I feel like I am
missing something?”
I
giggled and Matt gave him a look of pity, “Because you are, and we are all in
trouble.”
Thayne
looked down at me then back at Matt, “So what am I missing?”
“Scout
is a troublemaker, always has been. The stories I could tell...”
Thayne’s
eyes lit up bright, “Oh, please do.”
I
glared at Matt and shook my head, “Matt,” I warned.
Matt
looked at me and smiled then back up at Thayne, “Now, Seraph, he’s going to
find out eventually, and he should understand what he’s in for.”
I
looked down at my feet and rubbed my boots together then back up at him with
wide, wet eyes, “Please Matt,” I whispered.
Thayne
hugged me closer. “Ah okay, we won’t embarrass you,” he murmured. Matt though
started laughing his ass off.
“Oh
hell,” he said between laughs, “you are so,” laughter, “screwed, Thayne.”
Thayne
looked back down at me then Matt and I saw realization dawn. “You played me,”
he said incredulously looking back down at me.
“It’s
the face, it’s always been that face,” Matt gasped, finally calming down and
wiped his eyes. “The face and eyes, hell, I even still fall for it sometimes.”
“Okay,
so now I want to know what kind of troublemaker you are,” Thayne said hip
checking me again.
“She
would go to the shop when she was younger and rearrange the tools. I don’t
mean a simple moving things around, no, I mean she would sneak around taking
tools from one department and exchanging them with another and so on. So when
you needed it you couldn’t find it anywhere. There would be an entire shop of
people running around looking for their tools, finding a piece in metal fab,
another in engine building, some in paint, and so on. We would find her with
one of the tools in her hands and she would look at us with doe eyes and
whimper how she only wanted to help. Get away with it every time because the
guys couldn’t help but fall for it. When she got older, she found out how to
get Cas and Simon busted for something she did,” he finished ruffling my hair
with a look of pride and love.