Authors: Brei Betzold
Chapter
15
We
were sitting around waiting for them to call the winning and losing teams into
to the little room they had designated as the judgment room. We had already
sat through the judges going over our work, though we weren’t allowed in the
room with them, since they were trying to keep it all unbiased. I looked over
at a scowling Simon and rolled my eyes. Then I looked over at a scowling
Thayne. I had no idea who had pissed in his post toasties since we had last
talked.
Finally
someone who worked with the show came out and called three teams out, and the
rest of us had to wait. Some people talked, some were quiet, others looked
nervous. I just wanted to get this over with. After about thirty minutes, the
three teams came out looking dejected, one team went to their bay and started
packing their stuff up, well I guess we knew who was going home.
Ten
minutes later, the same guy came out and called in Ace & Laces team, Uncle
Matt’s team, and ours. We all stood and made our way into the room. It was
dimly lit with a long table sitting at one side where the five judges were
sitting. Could they have been even more cliché with all this? It looked like
every other reality show on television.
I
stood with Simon on one side of me and Thayne on the other, both occasionally
glowering at me. What the hell had I done to them? I knew Simon’s problem, he
was pissed that we were now next to Ace & Lace as if I had any control over
that. Thayne though, I had no idea about what his issue was.
We
waited while they got everyone lined up then finally the show started. Eddie
looked us all over then finally began, “Congratulations you three teams were
the favorite with the judges.”
I
waited, knowing there was more, Eddie looked over at Matt’s team, “Team Carson,
we liked the old school look you went for, also the repair work is excellent.
You couldn’t tell what was new and what you had made.”
Matt
smiled and nodded his head and Eddie continued, “We were impressed and look
forward to see what else you can do.”
Then
he looked at our team. “Team Misfit Cabal, we were impressed with the skill of
that paint job, and the unique colors you chose, well done. We were curious as
to which one of you came up with the paint scheme as well as who painted it?”
“I
did,” I said quietly and four of the five nodded in appreciation, Ace glared at
me.
“Well
done, Scout, it was unique and we loved the black on black.”
I
nodded and he turned towards Thayne’s team, “Team Ace & Lace, it was a very
interesting combination of old school meets new school. The graphics you were
able to paint on there I was a little worried about at the beginning, but it
fit perfectly. We look forward to seeing what more you can do,” he finished.
“So
now to the big moment, we chose Team Ace & Lace as the winner.”
Team
Ace & Lace yelled and smacked each other on the back, then when everyone
was calm we were released to go. I turned to head out of the room but heard my
name. I looked back and found Micah standing there.
“Micah,”
I said smiling up at him, “how are you?”
“Doing
well, and you?”
“I’m
fine,” I replied and heard a noise like a grunt and looked over to find Thayne
standing near.
“Good,
I’m glad to hear it,” he replied. “How’s Cas?”
“He’s
doing good, coming home soon.”
Micah
smiled. “Glad to hear it.”
“Yeah,
me too, you going to be in town long?”
“Leaving
tomorrow, why?”
“You
should come over for dinner tonight,” I told him. “I’ll cook. We can talk and
catch up.”
“Sounds
like a plan,” he replied and I quickly gave him our address, and told him I
would see him around six tonight, then headed out towards the door.
“Can
I talk to you?” Thayne growled.
I
was a little taken aback by how he as acting but I nodded and told him sure, we
walked out and I led him to our bay, the pedal car was sitting on a table.
“So
congrats,” I told him, he just grunted. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
“Why
did you do it?”
“Uhm,
do what?”
“You
know what,” he growled.
“No
I really don’t.” I said getting angry.
“Why
did you have Tristan arrested?”
I
flinched at the use of that name then took in what he said. “I didn’t get
anyone arrested,” I said confused.
“Really?
Because right before we were brought in there to sit around, I got a phone call
stating he was arrested for breaking his restraining order.”
“Uhm…”
“Really,
you won’t even admit you did it?”
“I
didn’t do anything; I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m
done, and fuck you, Scout,” he yelled leaving me confused about what just
happened.
I
watched him walk away, running the conversation over in my head trying to
figure out what the hell was going on. I hadn’t talked to any police. Of
course, it had crossed my mind that he had written those words on the wall, but
too many people knew what had happened to be sure. I hoped it hadn’t been him,
I had hoped that he had gone home. I didn’t want to chance seeing him. I
guess I had my answer on that though—he was still in town.
I
rolled my head on my shoulders trying to break the tension in my shoulders and
headed out to go to the grocery store so I could buy food for dinner tonight.
I also planned to ask what the hell was going on, and what else they hadn’t
told me.
***
I
walked in the rental juggling the cheap plastic bags they used at the grocery
store, praying that another one wouldn’t rip open. As it was, I had bags
hanging on my arms and an armful of produce that had fallen on the ground when
I picked up the bag. Why they felt the need to put as many items as possible
into the cheapest bags they could buy, I would never understand. I was broken
from my mental rant by the yelling in the other room, I quietly as possible
kicked the door closed, and of course eavesdropped—I mean, who wouldn’t?
“You
need to tell her,” I heard Cam yell.
“We
can’t, you know that,” replied Simon attempting to not yell.
“No,
I do not know that. I know that you won’t though.”
“No
we can’t, she can’t handle it.”
“How
the fuck would you know what she can and can’t handle? You don’t ever let her
handle anything to find out,” she yelled then I heard a door slam.
I
quickly went to the kitchen and started putting the groceries away, going over
what I had heard. What were they hiding from me? I knew the argument was
about me, they always are it seems, and after Thayne today, I had some ideas.
“How
much did you hear?” asked Simon.
“Enough,”
I replied curtly continuing to put everything away.
He
sighed. “We don’t do it to hurt you, we’re just trying to protect you.”
“Is
that why you didn’t tell me he was arrested today?”
“How
did you hear about that?” he growled.
“Had
an interesting conversation, was accused of things I had no idea about, wasn’t
hard to put two and two together.”
He
sighed again and ran his hands through his hair; he was annoyed. “He was
picked up this morning to be asked about the vandalism.”
“Mmhmm,”
I said knowing he was leaving things out, “and the violation on the restraining
order?”
“God
damn it,” he yelled, “who the fuck did you talk to?” Then he looked at me,
“Thayne, it was Thayne, right?”
I
nodded and went to start preparing for dinner.
“He
had no right to tell you,” he continued to rant, “it wasn’t his place.”
“Seems
to me he was the only one willing to tell me anything, even if he didn’t do it in
the best of ways,” I mused.
He
looked at me oddly then shook his head. “Where were you anyway?”
I
looked around at the food, the cheap plastic bags then back at him, really was
he that dense?
“Oh,
right, sorry,” he replied sheepishly.
“Whatever,
go fix things with your wife.” Then I went to work on dinner and ignoring him.
I
knew they hid things from me, I wasn’t dumb, and I hadn’t really cared before.
This time though I did care, and I was pissed about it. I was twenty-one years
old, did I really want to spend the rest of my life with people hiding things
from me, and making decisions about me? I didn’t know the answer to that since
I had never really considered the question before, but now that I had, I wasn’t
so sure I could live like that.
Micah
showed up promptly at six p.m. I let him in and directed him towards the
kitchen where I was still finishing dinner. I had decided to make chicken
enchiladas in a cream sauce, spiced black beans, and Mexican rice. Micah
carried in a six-pack of beer and sat them in the fridge, pulled two out and
offered me one, but I shook him off.
“Come
on Scout, you’re twenty-one now, right?”
“Yeah,
but I don’t drink,” I said giving my standard answer.
“Why
not? It’s just a beer.”
“Can’t,”
I replied hoping he would drop it.
“Can’t?”
“Nope,”
I said busying myself with dinner.
“Huh,”
he said putting the second beer back in the fridge. I let out a relieved
breath, no need for him to know I couldn’t drink because of all my medications.
I
turned around to look at him and found him closer than I thought he was, he
wasn’t quite invading my personal space, but just barely. I tried to step back
but the counter blocked me. He stepped closer and ran a finger along one of my
curls that had escaped my ponytail. I leaned back to get away from him but he
only followed.
“I
like the blue,” he murmured, “but I also liked the red.”
“It’s…it’s
turquoise,” I stammered out I didn’t know what to do with him so close.
“It
fits you,” he whispered leaning closer. I turned my head away.
“What’s
the matter, Scout? Don’t you like me?”
“I…I
like you fine,” I whimpered.
He
leaned against me, putting more body weight on me pinning my legs to the
cupboards below and I started hyperventilating, I didn’t like to be restrained.
“Scout,”
he crooned and ran a finger down my cheek, I flinched, and then his weight was
gone.
I
gripped onto the counter holding myself up, trying to even out my breathing. I
glanced up and found Thayne standing there looking extremely pissed off. He
pulled his arm back and punched Micah, then tossed him out the kitchen door. I
saw Cam move out of the way just before Micah was thrown out, she had a look of
pure panic on her face.
Thayne
held his hands out walking to me slowly. “Shhh Scout, it’s okay, he’s gone,”
he murmured to me as he slowly walked toward me.
He
was careful to not touch me, and I appreciated that, then I heard Micah yelling
and the front door slam shut. Simon, Kale, and Liam rushed into the kitchen
and it was too many people, and I felt my chest tighten.
“Hey
guys, give her some space,” Thayne said, but kept his eyes on me.
The
guys didn’t listen though and tried to push in closer to me, Thayne looked
around saw the back door and nudged his head in that direction. I quickly
headed that way hoping my knees wouldn’t give out. I opened the door and
rushed outside sucking in lung full of air, hoping to calm myself.
Thayne
sat down lit up a cigarette and let me calm down, never saying a word, never
asking any questions, and I appreciated it but I knew he would ask soon.
I
finally got my breathing under control, though my hands were still shaking, I
looked out over our small back yard and finally admitted to him, “I have PTSD,
an anxiety disorder, trust issues, and a whole slew of other fucked up issues.”
Chapter
16
He
continued sitting there, smoking his cigarette as though I hadn’t told him that
I was damaged, didn’t he get it?
“Did
you hear me?”
“Yeah,
I heard,” he stated calmly. “What you expect me to run away now?”
I
snorted, “Yeah actually.”
“Is
that what all the others did?”
“What
others?”
“The
other guys you tried to scare away with that little piece of info about
yourself, did they run?”
I
nodded my head, confused about how calmly he sat there.
“Not
why I came over, Scout.”
“Then
why did you, so you could accuse me of more things I know nothing about?”
“Thought
about it, and realized you probably didn’t have a clue about what happened,
that they didn’t tell you. So I came to you to see if you would help get the
charges dropped. He didn’t vandalize anything, he doesn’t have it in him.”
I
made a low sound in my throat. He apparently knew absolutely nothing about
what his friend was or was not capable of.
“You
don’t believe me?”
“Nope.”
“When
was the last time you saw him?”
Seven
not long enough years ago. “I was fourteen,” I told him finally.
“Hmm,
a lot can change a person over the years, Scout.”
“Oh
a lot can change a person in five days, Thayne. Don’t talk to me about
something you know nothing about.”
He
looked at me oddly, nodded his head and got up. “I gotta go, just thought I
would try.”
“See
ya,” I muttered.
He
didn’t respond, instead walked around to the side fence, and walked out. I
didn’t think I would be seeing him again anytime soon. Why did the idea of
that bother me?
I
walked back into the house, bypassed everyone who were staring at me and went
to my room, shutting the door firmly. I didn’t want to deal with their
questions. I just wanted to be left in peace for a while. Of course I didn’t
get that, a light knock sounded on my door, I glared at the door when the knob
turned and I saw Cam standing there with a plate of food.
“You
need to eat,” Cam told me.
“Don’t
wanna,” I muttered into my pillow I had pulled over my head.
“Don’t
really care, you have to eat.”
I
ripped the pillow away from my face. “When exactly do I get to make my own
choices?”
“When
you stop acting like a petulant fifteen year old who didn’t get her way,” she
snarked back.
“Sorry,”
I muttered and sat up taking the plate, “thank you.”
She
sighed, “I don’t blame you for getting pissed, in fact I was starting to wonder
if you ever would.”
I
cocked my head in question since my mouth was full of chicken enchiladas.
“I
just wouldn’t be able to have as little control as you have,” she said then
walked towards the door. “Eat, take your pills, and think about what you want
out of life, Scout.”
The
door clicked, I dutifully ate my food, took my pills and thought like she
said. I realized that I was once again doing as I was told without questioning
it. I laid down and stared up at the ceiling thinking about what my life was.
Was I really living to begin with? With that question running through my head,
I fell into a fitful sleep.
I
fought as he took his knife and ran it back and forth between my still
developing breasts. “Careful, careful little one, I would hate to cut you
here,” he said then laughed. I stopped fighting when he pressed the knife a
little harder against my chest, he looked up and smirked at me, “Then again we
both know how much you love me to hurt you.” He ripped open my nightgown
exposing my small breasts and panties. He looked me over slowly. I cringed
wishing I could cover myself; I had never been naked in front of anyone like
this before. “Beautiful,” he whispered, I whimpered around the cloth in my
mouth. “Awww shhh, you will like this, little one,” he said reaching his hand
up and stroking my bloody, wet hair and I jerked away. I knew I made a mistake
the instant I jerked. “Is that how it’s going to be, little one?” He ran the
blade starting at my breastbone, down between my breasts down my stomach and to
the edge of my panties. I screamed around the rag and tape but it was muffled
so no one would hear me. I would never get away from him, I was going to die,
I thought. He pressed harder digging the blade in deeper going back up a
different trek this time over my left nipple. He did the same on the other
side, leaving three bleeding wounds down my chest. I unfortunately didn’t pass
out this time, but I was feeling so weak and my vision was spotty. I didn’t
know how long he had had me tied up but I think days had passed at this point.
He reached down and grabbed my jaw, “So beautiful,” he murmured then punched
me, this time darkness did come, and I welcomed it.
I
sat up straight screaming, covered in a layer of sweat. I forced myself to stop
screaming and sucked in a breath of air. My door slammed open and Kale stood
there staring at me, looking me over.
“I’m
fine,” I said.
He
nodded and walked towards me. “You sure?” he asked and I noticed that the
other occupants of the house were here now as well.
I
nodded “Yeah.”
“Want
someone to sleep with you?”
“No,”
I stated, “I just want to be alone.”
“Sure?”
“Yes,”
I bit out.
I
watched as they all looked at me then slowly left me alone. I curled up in a
ball and cried till the sun came up.
I
glanced over at my alarm clock and saw it was early, really early and decided
to get up. I wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. I got dressed quickly
and headed out the door, I still wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone so I
headed to a diner I had seen nearby for coffee. I ordered breakfast and drank
my coffee amongst the sounds of the other patron’s conversations and it was
nice to just be for a change. No Cam watching how much I ate, no one watching
me trying to ascertain what kind of mood I was in, no one reminding me to take
this pill or that pill. It was normal, and I was beginning to realize just how
much I craved normal.
After
I paid the check, I headed out on Stella and decided to go for a nice long
ride. I turned my cell off not that I would hear it on Stella anyway, or
answer if I did. I just didn’t want to answer the questions, or hear the
concern in their voices. I strapped on my helmet and left, not really sure
where I was going, just that I had to go somewhere.
After
riding for a while, I found a national park and decided to stop near a lake I
had seen signs posted for. I climbed off and went wandering around soaking in
the nature. There were couples around hiking, walking, having picnics and I
felt envious of how at ease they all seemed with one another. I had never had
that with someone outside my small group, and I was beginning to doubt I ever
would.
I
made my way to the bank of the lake and watched the boats and jet skis skimming
across the water, sending waves across the lake. On the other bank was a beach
and swimming area, you could occasionally hear the shrieks and laughter of
children. I could barely make out families on the beach, girls lying out in
the sun, guys throwing Frisbees around. I saw one girl walking around in a
bikini and sighed, I would never be able to do that, I could never show off my
body so unabashedly, not with the scars.
I
turned and continued walking, heading back towards Stella, once I reached it, I
decided to turn my phone back on and check my messages. I groaned when it came
on and I saw twenty-three unanswered calls, eighteen text messages. I rolled my
eyes heavenward, seriously? What was wrong with taking time for myself, with
not having everyone know my every move? I scrolled through the texts all
basically the same ‘where are you’ messages. Then I went through the phone
calls and stopped, a phone call from my place in San Diego, I quickly dialed
the number and waited for it to go to the answering machine.
Instead
I heard a familiar voice pick up, “Scout, where the fuck are you?” bark at me.
I
laughed, “You’re home?” I squealed.
“Scout,
where are you?”
“At
a lake,” I said getting irritated. “When did you get in?”
“Scout,
you need to get back to the rental house, everyone is worried about you.”
“You
know what? No!” I said hanging up and turning my phone back off.
I
knew he would be pissed, but so was I. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, was
it too much to ask that he talked to me before he began ordering me around? I
climbed back on Stella and decided not to go home yet, so I chose a direction
and continued on in my exploration. I knew I should have at least called the
rental and let them know I was okay, but at this point, I was pissed, hurt, and
feeling a wee bit vengeful so I stayed out for the day.
I
walked in the door and headed towards the bathroom. I wanted a hot shower to
wash off the grime from riding all day. It had been fun to go out exploring.
I found some interesting spots and beautiful areas I wouldn’t mind spending
more time at while I was here. I was walking towards the bathroom when I heard
my name being bellowed, I looked over my shoulder and there was a very pissed
off Simon.
“You
bellowed?”
“Where
the fuck were you?” he shouted.
I
shrugged, “Went for a ride.” Then turned and headed for the bathroom.
Simon
reached out, grabbed my arm, and spun me around. “You went for a ride? All
day? Without telling anyone?”
“Yeah,
pretty much sums my day up, though I did talk to Cas at one point. I told him
I was out.”
“All
you told him was you were at a lake,” he bit out, “and then hung up on him.”
“No,
not exactly, I listened to him yell at me and not listening to me so I hung up
on him.”
“God
damn it, Scout, you’re acting like a fucking teenager,” he yelled again.
“About
time, huh?” I asked then turned and went into the bathroom shutting the door in
his face then locking it.
I
quickly turned the hot water on and stripped out of my clothes. I looked
down—I never looked down. I didn’t like seeing the marks he had left on my
body. I traced the raised scar that ran from the bottom of my breastbone to
navel with my finger. I looked over at my right nipple, they had tried to fix
it and the left one, but the wounds were days old by the time they got to
them. They were disfigured, scarred, and nothing short of reconstructive
surgery would repair them, and I never wanted to go through that kind of pain
again. I sighed and climbed into the shower, the one time I had tried to have
sex it was with the lights off. I wouldn’t let him turn them on. I didn’t
want him, anyone, to see the scars on my legs, chest, luckily the ones on my
arms weren’t as noticeable unless I tanned, so I always made sure that I wore
lots of sunscreen.
I
quickly finished in the bathroom, wrapped myself in a towel and opened the
door, I ran into what could only be described as a brick wall. I looked up and
found a very pissed off, very healthy, very here, Cas. I screamed and wrapped
my arms around his waist holding on tightly. I wasn’t letting him go anytime
soon.
He
unraveled my arms from his waist and held me at arm’s length. “What were you
thinking?” he asked while shaking me.
“That
I wanted some time alone and to go on a ride,” I mumbled looking down at the
floor.
“Scout,
you can’t just leave like that, you have to tell someone,” he growled.
I
nodded my head and bit my lip still looking at the floor clutching my towel to
myself.
“Go
get dressed,” he ordered, “then we’ll talk about what you’ve been up to since
you came here.”
I
watched him storm down the hallway and then headed to my room to do as I was
told.