Authors: Brei Betzold
Chapter
10
I
found a seat beside Simon, went to work filling out all the paperwork, and
began waiting for my name to be called. The walls were painted a cool blue
that were supposed to be calming, but I don’t think any color could really help
calm someone while waiting to have their psyche poked at.
Finally,
my name was called and Simon and I headed through the thick doors towards a
room where I had my weight and blood pressure taken. Then I had to answer the
questions on how I was feeling, how were my meds, and did I feel like a change
needed to be made. I answered dutifully stating I was fine, my meds were fine,
everything was just fucking fine. I wanted to scream at the incessant
questions. Once the nurse was done playing twenty questions, I was sent into a
small bathroom with a plastic cup to piss in, felt like deja vu.
I
was led into a room, I had always laughed at the Hollywood version of a
shrink’s office, none of the ones I had ever visited had the comfy couches to
lay down on. This one was set up much like all the others I had been in.
Three chairs all sitting across from one another so you can maintain eye
contact with whomever you are speaking to. All done up in soothing colors, and
the sickly sweet smell of flowers that was supposed to overpower the antiseptic
smell that it never quite hid. I plopped down in one chair and watched Simon
sit down in the other, both checking out our surroundings.
I
sighed and began picking at the hole in my jeans again waiting for the doctor
to finally show up, once he did, he was not at all what I had expected. My normal
psychiatrist was an older man, who put out the vibes of a tender grandfather.
But this guy was around Cas’s age and reeked of being a player. I looked over
at Simon trying to see if I could judge his opinion of the guy but his face was
blank.
“Hi,
I am Dr. Carter,” the guy said holding out his hand, Simon quickly reached out
and took it while I shrank back in my chair further.
“Simon,
Scout’s friend,” he said.
The
doctor nodded then sat down and stared at me, “So Scout, I’ve been looking at
the information Dr. Moore sent me, and I am wondering why you aren’t under a
closer watch.”
At
that point, all the blood left my face and I began to hyperventilate. No, no
fucking way was I going to go through this again.
“I’m
sorry, what?” spluttered Simon.
“Well
from the information Dr. Moore gave me, I’m a little concerned about her being
so far from her normal care for such a long time.”
“The
information he gave? What information is that?” I wheezed out.
“Hmm
well your meds, the dosages, and that you suffer from severe post traumatic
distress order, as well as an anxiety disorder.”
“And
from that you decide she’s what, exactly?”
“Well
from the research shown,” he started.
“Hold
on, you haven’t spoken to her, you have no idea why she has PTSD or the other
crap, and you’re going to sit there and try to tell us what’s best because of
research?” Simon asked incredulously.
“Simon,
what’s your relationship with Scout?”
“I’m
her best friend.”
“Hmm,
well then I don’t think you fully understand what her condition means.”
“Well,
let me explain something to you, I’ve known her since birth, sat beside her
after the event, and I have been here since,” Simon growled, “it’s you that I
don’t think fully understands.”
“Is
there a family member I could speak with about my concerns?”
“My,
my brother,” I mumbled trying to keep myself together with breathing and
focusing on the hole in my jeans.
“Okay,
well can I have his information so I can call him?”
“That
would kind of difficult,” replied Simon, “since he’s currently in Afghanistan.”
“Oh,”
the doctor responded shooting a glance my direction, “well is there anyone
else?”
“Yes,
me!” Simon nearly yelled.
I
reached over and touched his arm. “Please call Dr. Moore,” I whispered.
“Okay
Scout, that’s a good idea, now breathe, honey,” he murmured.
I
continued with my breathing, while he called doc’s office, and Dr. Carter
watched me like I was a bug under a microscope. His constant staring was
starting to freak me out, and when Simon touched my arm to get my attention, I
jumped out of the chair.
“Scout,
he wants to talk to you,” he said quietly.
I
nodded and took the phone. “Scout dear, you there?”
“Yes,”
I whispered and sat back down.
“Deep
breaths, Scout, now tell me what’s going on.”
So
I filled him in on what the doctor had said, and how he was making me
uncomfortable. He apologized over and over for putting me in this situation
then asked to speak to the other doctor.
While
the doctor was on the phone with doc, Simon leaned over towards me, “So
apparently this guy was not the one you were supposed to meet, but his
associate.”
“Okay,
so what now?”
“Now
we wait, again.”
A
few minutes later, Dr. Carter handed Simon back his phone apologized for the
confusion and left the room. I let out a deep breath, happy that he was gone.
Simon spoke to Dr. Moore for a few minutes longer before hanging up.
“Well
it’s straightened out, the other doctor should be here in a few minutes.”
“Okay,”
I whispered.
“A
female doctor, Scout,” he said knowing that would make me more comfortable
since it was a stranger. I had been a patient of Dr. Moore’s for three years
now, I didn’t like meeting new doctors.
“Good,”
I replied, and started picking at my jeans again.
A
little while later and lady in her early forties walked in the door and
introduced herself as Dr. Lawrence, I liked her immediately, she didn’t try to
touch me.
“I’m
sorry about the mix up, and I want to apologize for the way he acted, we will
be discussing it later.”
I
nodded and waited for her to start asking the questions.
“So
Scout, how are you doing today?”
“Good.”
“So
you need your meds?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,
then let’s get you those,” she replied and reached into her pocket and pulled
out her prescription pad, filled out four different ones and handed them to
Simon.
“If
you have any problems have the pharmacy call my office, okay?”
“That’s
it?” I asked.
“That’s
it, I trust Dr. Moore’s opinion, and you answered all the questions I would
have asked already,” she said checking my chart. “Oh she missed one, do you
feel like hurting yourself, Scout.”
“No,”
I said adamantly.
She
nodded and headed out the door, we stood following her out, I went to the
window to pay my copay and sighed, there went money for groceries. I turned to
tell Simon I was ready to go, but he quickly shushed me. I looked at what had
him so riveted and saw a door was left slightly open. I walked closer to him
and listened as well.
“What
the hell were you thinking, Dr. Carter?” I heard Dr. Lawrence ask.
“I
was thinking she was a young woman in need of help, you didn’t see the way she
was acting as soon as I walked in the room.”
“You
were never supposed to walk in that room, you do not have a clue what she’s
gone through, nor do you have any rights to this case.”
“Oh
and you know what she’s been through?”
“Yes,
I know enough to know you never should have been in there.”
He
scoffed, “So instead of trying to help we’re supposed to what? Just give her
prescription drugs she’s likely addicted to?”
“No,
I am to give her prescriptions she needs, I know her doctor personally, and
when he called me, I agreed. You were never supposed to be involved.”
“She
needs a psych eval.”
“No,
she needs to be left alone, and if I find out that you do not let this drop, I
will fight you on this and I have seniority, do you understand me?”
“Why
do you trust her doctor? He let her leave his care for two months. She’s had
two breakdowns since she got here, she needs a psych evaluation.”
“I
trust him because her doctor is one of the leading psychiatrists in the field
of PTSD. She’s been her doctor for three years and knows what’s going on with
her, we do not.”
“Fine,
I just hope you don’t live to regret that decision, Doctor.”
“You
are too young and inexperienced to be making decisions about her care, let
alone treating her. Let me handle her case, I will be keeping an eye on her
the same as her doctor does.”
“Fine.”
There
was the sound of a door slamming and I looked over at Simon, I was scared that
this guy was going to try and screw with me.
“Nothing
will happen to you, Scout,” Simon said, once again reading my thoughts.
I
nodded and hoped he was right.
Chapter
11
We
left the hospital and rode to the pharmacy near the rental. After dropping off
the prescriptions and making plans to pick them up the next day, we headed
home. When we got there I saw Matt’s bike, I had forgotten that I had invited
him over for dinner, I glanced over at Simon to see his reaction. He and his
dad’s relationship had been strained for the past few years, but they tried to
act like it wasn’t, even though we all saw through it.
“What’s
he doing here?” Simon asked after we turned our bikes off.
“I
invited him over for dinner,” I replied making my way to the house.
“Ah”
I
walked in and immediately found Matt sitting on the couch, Zadok in his arms. I
smiled, no matter how strained their relationship was Matt adored Zadok, and
Simon never came between that.
“Uncle
Matt.”
“Seraph,”
he replied looking up at me, “you okay?”
“Fine,”
I said giving my common reply.
He
looked at me dubiously then over at Simon who nodded his head, I’m sure having
some unspoken conversation about me.
“Well
I had better go get dinner started.” Then I quickly left the room.
I
listened to them all talking in the living room, none of them bringing up the
competition or me. I was grateful for both. I hated when everyone talked
about me like I was a china doll that had to be cared for with kid gloves. I
would be the first to admit that I have issues, but I tried not to let those
issues take over all of my life.
Dinner
didn’t take long to prepare, and so we were sitting in the living room, telling
stories, eating food and having a good night. I loved evenings like this with
my family, looking around at all the smiling faces. The guys were picking on
one another, while Cam laughed at stories about a young Simon. It was moments
like this that I really wished my brother were here with me. I loved all of
these people, they were my family, but Cas and I were each other’s home base.
Too quickly dinner was over, Matt was leaving, and everyone was going to their
separate rooms.
“How
was the doctor?” asked Saul.
“Fine.”
“Just
fine?”
I
nodded, “Yep.”
“K,
night, Girl, I’m leaving in the morning, have to get back to the shop.”
“K,
night, Saul.”
I
curled up on the couch and pulled my blanket over my head and drifted to sleep,
thinking about Cas and praying that he was safe.
I
woke up late, so I had to hurry through my morning routine and run out the door
so I made it to the garage on time. I didn’t think I would be received well if
I was late, the producer seemed to want me gone, and I wasn’t going to give him
a reason.
I
ran into the building and found that they had my team was already situated, so
I went over to them and glared at them for not waking me up.
“Good
morning, princess.”
“Bite
me, Liam.”
“Ah
someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“Rusty
dull spoon, Liam,” I reminded him, causing the other two to cough to cover
their laughs. I glared at them again before my attention was pulled to the
front.
“Today
you will be painting your cars. There are two paint booths, you will want to
check the schedule to find your booth number and time. Use your time wisely,
you have four hours,” Eddie said.
Then
we were off. I went to check the schedule; we were painting in three hours. I
could do that, we had an hour in the paint booth. I went to our stall to let
the guys know. Then I checked over the body, when I was happy that I wouldn’t
have to putty any small dents, I focused on finishing the seat.
I
quickly finished the seat, glancing over my shoulder, I found cameras trained
on me, and rolled my eyes. It seemed that I was a popular target, since every
time I turned around I had cameras focused on my ass. I looked around and saw
my team was hard at work, so I decided to begin taping up the car for painting,
marking out my design. I was planning on a simple flat black paint over the
car, then add flair in other ways.
“You
bringing the steering wheel in with you?” asked Simon.
I
looked down at the newly fabricated steering wheel and debated between a few
ideas. “Yeah, I think I am.”
After
I had everything taped up, I had about fifteen minutes until our allotted paint
time. I loaded all the parts that I would need onto a cart, as well as a few
items I needed from my personal stash. With only an hour in the booth, and no
real dry time, it really was the best plan to keep it simple. I was going to
do only the bare minimum in the booth then tomorrow add on to what I had
completed.
I
wheeled my cart to the painting area, when I got there, I found one of the
judges and a production assistant standing outside the door. I parked the cart
and stood waiting for my time slot. I dug into my pocket and pulled out my MP3
player, and started searching for the playlist I wanted. Finally, it was my
turn, I rolled the cart into the room popped in my ear buds then went to work
moving items quickly, finding the paint I had requested waiting for me. I was
working in five minutes. I started on the shell of the car, a quick drying
primer, then moved on to the steering wheel, and other small parts that needed
to be painted. Once I was finished with them, I went back to the shell and
found it dry enough, and went to work getting the flat black paint evenly
coated. When I was happy with that, I switched colors, to my one accent color
and sprayed the smaller parts.
I
had chosen to use only two colors in the booth to save time, after I was
finished with the smaller items I checked the shell and decided it was as dry
as it was going to get for my final step. I had decided to use a glossy black
as an accent color. It wouldn’t show up easily unless in bright light or in the
sun but would look wicked cool. I quickly laid the lace I had cut into a strip
where I wanted it, then sprayed it slowly with the glossy black. I went to the
other side of the car repeating the procedure, once finished I took a step
back, happy with how it was turning out. I quickly changed it over to the
final step a clear coat over the smaller parts, carefully removing the lace
then spraying the car, I nodded turning everything off.
I
pulled the ear buds out of my ears and glanced up at the clock, three minutes
left and I was finished with this part. I turned towards the door and found
Thayne standing there watching me which startled me since I never realized
anyone had walked into the room.
“Hey,”
he said acknowledging me but not taking his eyes off my pedal car.
“Hey,”
I replied wondering how he got in here, and what he wanted.
“So
what exactly are you doing here?” he asked gesturing at the car.
“Uhm
painting it,” I countered sarcastically.
He
looked over at me, and I realized he had the most gorgeous grey stormy eyes.
They had a dark blue circling them making them resemble storm clouds on the
horizon. I let out a startled gasp tracing his strong square jaw with my eyes
following his facial hair that curved around accentuating it. His brown hair
had natural red highlights that set off his amazing eyes. Simply, he was
beautiful only in a sheer masculine kind of way and he was not for me. I
cleared my throat and forced myself to look back towards the car trying to
remember what I was doing before I was sidetracked.
“I
realize that, smart ass, but what exactly?”
“Uhm
a lace pattern,” I mumbled trying not to get ensnared by those eyes again.
“Huh,
never seen that before,” he retorted I glanced up quickly to find him looking
at me oddly.
I
shrugged trying to ease the tension in my shoulders and look unaffected with
him standing there staring at me. “It’s not done often anymore.”
“Well
I look forward to seeing it when it’s done.”
I
nodded and looked back towards the door, wanting to escape this odd
conversation.
“I’m
sorry about the other morning, I was out of line, it’s just that Tris is or was
our leader, and we’ve been having issues since he’s not here.”
“Understandable,”
I muttered, “but not my problem.”
“No,
it’s not, at least not that I am on a team full of jack asses.” I could tell by
the look he shot me that he did think it was my fault though that his fearless
leader wasn’t here.
“Yeah,
well my time is almost over I need to find out where the drying room is.”
“K,
well, see you around.”
I
nodded walking past him, I realized he was tall, taller than me. I nearly
snorted, everyone was taller than my five foot two size. He had to be over six
feet tall though. If I was interested in guys, he would be my type. I mused, if
only he wasn’t friends with the devil.
I
found out where I was to put my things so they could dry then helped move them
over and headed back to my stall, thinking about Thayne, and his grey blue
eyes.
There
wasn’t anything for me to do after I had finished painting, so once I got back
to my stall I pulled the pillow and blanket I had brought in the other day and
curled up in a corner away from everyone else and to take a nap. My meds
caused me to be drowsy at times, forgetful at others, I had learned how to deal
with the drowsiness by power naps, and the forgetfulness was a work in
progress. I was nudged awake, and quickly hopped up helping the guys put
everything away for the day and locking up the stall.
After
hitting up the pharmacy, I went home where we all had a lazy evening. Cam had
cooked and I had kidnapped her son. It was nice to have a quiet evening, but I
missed Saul. He had left at some point during the day. After dinner I curled
up on the couch, my head lying in Kale’s lap while he played with my hair. With
my feet in Liam’s lap, I nudged him until he rubbed them for me. Between the
two relaxing motions, I drifted off to sleep quickly.
“No,
please stop, Tristan,” I cried out as his fist came back down hitting my chest,
I felt as the breath whooshed out of me. “I said to shut up,” he yelled at me
once again. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, tears streaming down my face as I
tried so hard to stay quiet. My mouth was pried open and he shoved something
in then I heard a rip and he stuck tape over my mouth. I whimpered and choked
around the object in my mouth. “If you can’t stay quiet then I’ll make you,” he
growled. I kept my eyes tightly shut. I didn’t want to see anymore; I didn’t
want to watch him. A burning sensation then intense pain started, I tried to
struggle, but it was pointless, my screams were muffled. My eyes flew open,
and I found him with a knife my dad had given him for his sixteenth birthday.
I started shaking my head no, and watched as he sliced into my leg once again.
Over and over he cut my inner thighs. After a while, I couldn’t struggle, I
couldn’t make a sound, then I was gone floating in darkness no longer feeling
or seeing what he would do to me next.
“Scout,
come on, wake up,” I heard yelled at me while being shaken. My eyes flew open
and I realized my hands were being held by Liam, my legs by Kale and a
frightened Simon standing over me gripping my head.
I
stopped fighting immediately, just a nightmare, not there anymore I said in my
head over and over trying to keep myself in the here and now. I took a deep
breath, and let it out slowly and the guys let me go.
“I’m
sorry,” I whispered, my throat sore so I was most likely screaming yet again.
“Nothing
to be sorry about, Harper Lee,” Liam said.
I
nodded and looked away to wipe the tears from my face, “How bad?”
“Not
bad at all really,” Kale answered.
“I’m
okay now.”
“Want
us to sleep with you?” Kale asked.
I
did want them too, but I didn’t want to admit it and look weak. “Move over,
Harper Lee,” Liam ordered climbing in beside me, Kale climbing in on the other
side.
“You
okay?” asked Simon.
“Yeah,”
I said wincing a little at how raw my throat felt.
“K,
night, Scout.”
“G’night
Simon.”
I
snuggled into the warmth of their bodies surrounding me and slowly fell back to
sleep.
“You
look like shit, Harper Lee,” Liam said when I finally made it into the kitchen
for my morning cup of coffee.
I
flipped him off and slowly drank my ambrosia, savoring the first taste of coffee
in the morning. In my opinion it is almost a religious experience. I took my
coffee with me to the bathroom and went about getting ready for what today had
in store. I was finished and ready to leave after twenty minutes. I wore what
I normally wore: beat up paint covered jeans, white racer style tank top, black
combat boots also covered in paint, only this time I added a flannel to the
ensemble.
“Cold?”
Simon asked concerned.
“No,”
I said, “just wanted something to cover my ass.”