Authors: Brei Betzold
Chapter
19
I
napped on and off throughout the night in-between cans of energy drinks and
cups of coffee by daybreak I was showered, dressed, and ready to leave. When
Cas came out of the room he glared at me then proceeded to ignore me. I
ignored him in return, finally after stilted conversation and awkward silences,
we left for the shop.
When
we rode up I was surprised to see the amount of bikes out front, I hopped off Angel
and pulled my helmet off.
I
gestured around the parking lot, “What’s this?”
Liam
shrugged. “Who knows,” he replied and we all headed in.
None
of the guys had really looked at me all morning, and it was really annoying me.
“I have no intentions of quitting.”
They
all three nodded their heads but kept going. “I’m not,” I reiterated.
“Maybe
you should,” whispered Kale.
I
stopped and stared at their three backs walking away from me, they agreed with
Cas, that I should quit. I felt a pang in my chest at that, I thought they
were worried about being disqualified, not this though.
I
continued walking towards our bay, once there, I put in my ear buds and went to
work. I didn’t talk to anyone, acknowledge anyone, I just did what I needed to
do. A few of the teams had shown up to help us, and I appreciated it.
I
felt a shoulder nudge mine and looked up to find Thayne looking down at me. I
removed one of the ear buds, “Yes?”
“How
are you today?”
“Pissed,”
I told him putting the ear bud back in and going back to work.
I
only ever stopped long enough to get coffee or a soda and hit up the bathroom,
other than that, I listened to music and did what was needed of me. I noticed
people shooting glances my way but I didn’t pay any real attention to it or the
fact that I was putting items down a little harder than necessary. Soon though
my work ended and I left it to the guys to assemble the engine. I found the
couch in the common area empty so I dragged my pillow and blanket in there and
laid down.
It
was the first time in a while where I wasn’t able to fall asleep. Instead I
thought back on what had happened since I had gotten here. Maybe Cas was
right, maybe I should just quit and go home, maybe I couldn’t do this. Was it
all a pipe dream, having my own shop, being able to do what I loved to do while
working for myself?
“What’s
going on inside that head of yours, Scout?”
I
quickly wiped away the tears I hadn’t realized I had shed. “Didn’t realize
anyone was in here.”
“Just
looking for you,” Thayne told me.
“Well,
you found me.”
“Mmhmm.”
He came and sat down on the other side of the couch from where I was curled up.
“You going to answer me?”
“Nope.”
“Okay,”
he said easily, “so what do you want to talk about?”
“Nothing,”
I mumbled, “just want to sleep.”
He
looked over at me. “When was the last time you slept, and I don’t mean a nap, I
mean a real sleep?”
I
leaned up and beat my fist into my pillow trying to get comfortable. “Dunno,” I
muttered.
“Okay,
want to tell me why you aren’t sleeping, you’re clearly exhausted.”
“It’s
safer.”
“Okay,”
he mused, “when is the last time you ate something?”
“Dunno,”
I mumbled into my pillow pulling my blanket snugger around me.
“Don’t
know, or don’t remember?”
I
looked towards him and glared, “Why do you care?”
“Well
because when I win, I want to win because you are performing at your best, not
the shell you are now,” he told me.
“When
you win?”
“Mmhmm
when I win.”
“Well
I wouldn’t worry too much about that, since apparently I have to quit,” I told
him instantly regretting it.
“You
have to quit?”
“Yeah,”
I breathed out, “or so I am told.”
“Do
you always do as you’re told?”
“Pretty
much.”
“Why?”
“It’s
easier,” I told him then bit my lip to keep my mouth closed. Why did I always
say too much with him?
“For
who?”
“For
everyone, it keeps me from getting hurt, it keeps them from worrying.”
“Life
is sometimes about getting hurt, Scout.”
“Been
there done that, they just don’t want to see it happen again.”
“So
instead they keep you in a bubble?” he asked but didn’t give me the time to
answer. “They pick your friends, they tell you what you can and can’t do, what
kind of life is that?”
“A
safe one,” replied Cas.
“You’re
not letting her live her life, you make her decisions, yet you don’t see her,”
Thayne said then got up.
“You
don’t know anything about Scout,” Cas growled.
“I
know enough to see that she’s self-destructing in front of you, yet you’re more
worried about her talking to me.” He looked over at me, “Anytime you need to
talk find me, k?”
I
nodded and watched him walk out the door, Cas glaring at him the entire time.
“I
told you not to talk to him, not to trust him,” Cas yelled. “This is why you
have to quit, you don’t know what’s in your best interest.”
“My
best interest?”
“You
don’t know him, Scout.”
“Neither
do you,” I yelled back.
He
sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Let’s go find the producer so
you can quit and I can get you home.”
“No,
I haven’t made up my mind about that.”
“I
don’t really care.”
I
screamed, jumped up, and walked out the door. Why couldn’t he listen to me for
once instead of just bark orders at me?
I
walked back in our bay and found the guys putting on the finishing touches. I
was proud of them, they had worked hard to get this finished. I looked up at the
clock and saw that we had about an hour left.
“Anything
I can do?”
They
all three grunted a ‘no’ at me, so I climbed up on the workbench and watched
them. Kale was circling around the engine checking all the alignment and
bolts. I reached over and grabbed a stress ball out of the toolbox, we kept
them lying around to strangle instead of each other.
“I
swear we are forgetting something,” he muttered.
Simon,
Liam, and Kale began listing items off and checking them, I listened with half
an ear watching them pace around the engine. When they all stopped looking at
one another confused, I finally offered up what they were missing, “Oil.”
They
all kept talking ignoring me, I sighed, guess no one was going to listen to me
today.
“Oil,”
I said louder, Kale reached over checking the spark plug.
Finally
I yelled, “Oil!” All three stopped and looked at me, I squeezed the stress
ball, hard.
“What?”
asked Kale.
“Oil,
it’s what you’re missing.”
“How
do you know that, Harper Lee?”
I
nudged the full quarts of oil sitting beside me on the bench. “Because I
brought you five quarts you should have used roughly three quarts, all five are
here.”
“Oh,”
they all said in unison.
I
hopped down, tossed the stress ball at Liam’s head then grabbed three quarts,
“You already put the spark plugs in?”
“Yeah,”
Kale mumbled and went to work removing them so we could add the oil.
“Check
the other fluids,” Kale said and the other two went to work doing that. I
handed over the oil when he was ready, and stayed out of the way the rest of
the time.
With
five minutes remaining, we were finished. “Sorry,” Kale mumbled.
I
nodded and headed out to the staging area, leaving the guys to clean up.
We
waited around for them to come out and call the bottom teams to the judging room.
Roughly three hours later, three out of the six teams were called in. We
weren’t one of them but Thayne’s was. I was a little nervous about that, I
wasn’t ready to see him go. I noticed Matt staring at me, then when I would
look his direction he would look away. This went on for a while until I
finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“What,
Matt?”
“Huh,”
he muttered.
“Why
do you keep watching me?”
“Just
wondering if you’re okay,” he murmured.
“I’m
fine.” He rolled his eyes at my answer but didn’t push but I noticed he was
still watching me, only this time trying to do it covertly.
Finally
the three teams came out, and the team from New Jersey went in to their stall,
throwing things around. Guess they were heading back to the Garden State. I
glanced up at Thayne he looked over at me and winked, then it was our turn to
go in.
When
we were situated Eddie began, “You three were our top three this round, all
three of your engines started.” Guess that meant the other three hadn’t.
They
went through each team, talking to the engine builders, none of them mentioning
our team’s issues. Finally after they were done with the Q&A portion they
announced the winner. I hadn’t really been paying attention, so when three
pairs of arms encircled me I was caught off guard.
“We
won,” Liam whispered in my ear.
“Thanks,”
murmured Kale.
After
we were finished celebrating, we headed back to the common area, Matt walked up
and put an arm around my shoulders.
“I
swear when you screamed out oil, I saw a dozen guys wince then start cussing,”
he whispered.
I
laughed. “That’s what they did wrong?”
“Don’t
know, but you had me rethinking if we added oil,” he chuckled.
“Ah,
but you’d never make such a rookie mistake,” I told him.
“Oh
Seraph, I would and have,” he pulled my ponytail and took off with his team.
“I
hear congratulations are in order,” a voice said behind me.
I
looked over and smirked at Thayne, “They are, but they did most of the work.”
“I’m
pretty sure the entire building heard you remind them of oil.”
I
shrugged, “They weren’t listening.”
“You
seem to have that issue with a lot of males.”
I
glared at him.
“Okay,
so want to go out and get a beer in celebration?”
“Sorry,
I don’t drink.”
He
nodded, “Okay, coffee then?”
I
looked around and found four pairs of eyes on me, I shook my head, “Not now,” I
whispered.
He
looked up then back at me. “Okay, then how about some time when the watchdogs
are called off?”
I
nodded and looked around. “Sure, text me sometime.”
“I
don’t have your number,” he reminded me.
“You
didn’t have my address either but it didn’t stop you from showing up.” Then I
walked off toward my team, smiling—a real smile for the first time in I didn’t
know how long.
Chapter
20
“He
was just saying congratulations,” I said when I walked up to the guys, Cas was
glowering at me, Simon was frowning, Kale was scowling, and Liam was smirking.
“Let’s
go,” Cas barked grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door to the parking lot.
When
we got there, I jerked my arm out of his hand and stormed to Angel, that’s when
I noticed Stella sitting in the parking lot.
“Oh
fuck no,” I yelled, “you didn’t?”
“You
took the other bike,” Cas said like I was in the wrong for riding my bike.
“You know the rule, Cas.”
“Yeah,
well I broke it, sounds kind of familiar, huh?”
“What
the hell are you talking about?”
“I
told you not to talk to him, to stay away from him, but you haven’t, have you?”
I
glared at my brother. “You cannot tell me who I can and cannot talk to!” I
screamed.
“The
fuck I can’t, Scout!” he yelled back. “God knows you don’t make good
decisions.”
“What
bad decision have I made?”
“Do
you really want to go there?”
“Yes,
because as far as I can see I don’t make any decisions.”
“You
stayed in that house, even though Matt offered for you to come stay with him
you stayed!” he yelled. “Why the fuck would you stay in that house with him
alone?”
I
stood there dumbfounded, barely breathing, I turned around and fumbled with my
keys and climbed on Angel.
“Wait,
Scout, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of said that,” Cas said reaching out for me.
I
gunned Angel and tore out of the parking lot, ignoring the tears, ignoring the
pain; I had to get away. After a few minutes, I pulled into a parking lot
turned off the engine and gulped in breaths of air. Is that how he felt, that
it was my fault it happened? I heard Stella pull up in the parking lot beside
me but I disregarded it. Was it all my fault? I know everyone said that it
wasn’t but I never truly believed that, I had to have done something to deserve
it.
Arms
reached out dragging me off Angel. “I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it. God I
am so sorry, Scout,” he murmured hugging me to his chest. “It wasn’t your
fault, none of what happened was your fault. I was just mad and I wanted to
hurt you. I am so sorry, baby girl.”
I
pushed away from him and wiped the tears away again. “You only said what was
true, if I hadn’t stayed that week it wouldn’t have happened.”
“Oh
baby girl, it wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong.”
“Do
you know why I stayed?” I asked him quietly.
“No,”
he whispered.
“Because
I told you that he made me nervous, that I didn’t like being alone with him.
But you told me I was being silly, that he had been a part of our family for
five years—that he would take care of me.” He closed his eyes and took in a
deep breath. “You told me that he was my brother just like you were, and I
never blamed you, not once for what happened, it wasn’t your fault, Cas. It
was my fault for not going with the way he made me feel; it was my fault, for
taunting him. He told me I taunted him, that I drove him to it, but I never
once did I blame you,” I sobbed.
“Oh
baby girl, you never did anything wrong,” he told me wrapping his arms around
me. “It wasn’t your fault, it was his, he did that to you against your will,
you never did anything wrong.”
I
shook my head. “I had to have done something,” I cried.
He
wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried telling me over and over
that it wasn’t my fault, but it had to be, people didn’t just do that to one
another.
“I’m
sorry, Scout,” he whispered when I had calmed down some. “I should have
listened to you back then.”
I
shrugged and looked away. “You still do it, you know?”
“Do
what?”
“Don’t
listen to me, I’ve told you Thayne won’t hurt me, he’s my friend.”
“Scout,
I would rather err on the side of caution.”
“And
what if I don’t?”
“I
don’t really care; you are to stay away from him.”
I
stepped away from him and wiped my eyes. “I’m going home,” then I climbed on
Angel and went back to the rental.
When
I got there I went straight to the room my stuff was in, locked the door, and
curled up in a ball. I tried to nap but sleep wouldn’t come, instead I stared
at the ceiling counting the tiles, then I heard the sound of my phone. I
rolled over, pulled it out of my pocket, but didn’t recognize the number. I
pulled up the text and smiled.
COFFEE?
I
thought about that for a minute, everyone would head to bed around ten, I could
sneak out for a while and have coffee with Thayne and no one would have to
know.
11?
WHERE?
CAFÉ
ACROSS FROM GARAGE?
SEE
YOU THERE
I
saved his number into my phone and drifted off for a much needed nap.
After
my nap I got up, took my evening meds while downing another energy drink, fixed
myself a plate of food and went into the living room. I sat down on the floor
and crossed my legs then went about picking over my food. I ate a little but
quickly lost my appetite. I gave up the pretense of eating and went to clean
up the kitchen. When I came back, the guys were telling Cam about our win
today. I smiled at how excited they were about it all, and sat down to play
with the baby. When they got to the point of me screaming at them, I cringed
but Cam laughed and told me well done.
Soon
after Simon, Cam, and Zadok went to bed, a little later Cas’s phone rang like
it did around this time most nights and he headed off to his room, I knew he
wouldn’t be back.
“Want
to watch a movie, Harper Lee?”
“No,
I just want to go to bed,” I told Liam and Kale yawning, hoping they would get
the idea.
Kale
nodded and stood up dragging Liam with him. “Night, Scout.” Then I was
alone—finally. I was beginning to worry since it was already ten thirty.
I
waited another fifteen minutes fidgeting, I was nervous about being caught, but
I was even more nervous about seeing Thayne.
Finally
time was up and I quietly crept to the door. The slight clicking noise of the
deadbolt made me flinch and I glanced over my shoulder. I was being silly, I
knew no one could have heard that from their rooms. I quietly opened then
closed the door and went to Angel. I decided to push her down to the end of
the street before starting her. I knew I would never get away riding Stella.
I kicked her off her kickstand, pushed her down the driveway, and down the
street trying to keep an eye on the house. When I got to the end of the block
without Cas coming out screaming at me in his boxers, I let out the breath I
had been holding, climbed on Angel, put my helmet on, and started her up.
I
pulled up in front of the café five minutes later, and looked around. I didn’t
see another bike around but when I looked into the diner I saw Thayne sitting
in a booth. Hmm, guess he drove a car. I climbed off and put the helmet
around the handle bars then headed inside.
When
I walked in the door Thayne turned and looked, then he smiled at me and my
heart fluttered. He definitely did not smile enough, I thought as I walked
towards his booth.
“So
how did you get away from the warden?”
I
sat down, reached for a sugar packet and began to play with it. “Snuck out,” I
mumbled.
“Hold
on, what?”
I
sighed and dropped the sugar packet on the table. “I said, I snuck out.”
He
looked at me for a moment. “You’re serious?” he asked incredulously.
I
nodded and looked towards the waitress standing at the counter, when she
glanced at me, I pointed at the coffee pot and she nodded.
“Scout,
how old are you?”
“Twenty-one,”
I muttered.
“Have
you ever snuck out before?”
“No,”
“So
why do it tonight?”
“Because
I decided you were worth being grounded over,” I told him sarcastically.
“What
will happen if they find you gone?”
“Call
me, text me, and when I ignore that, stay up waiting for me, then when I get
home they will demand I tell them where I was, what I was doing, and who I was
with. Then I will get yelled at then a lecture about how what I did was stupid
and irresponsible.”
“Damn,
it’s like you have four fathers and you’re sixteen years old,” he stated.
“Feels
like that sometimes,” I mumbled.
“Then
why do you put up with it?”
I
sighed and reached up pulling the ponytail holder out of my hair then running
my fingers through it, when the waitress dropped off my coffee I thanked her,
and took a drink.
“It’s
always been this way.”
“Always?”
“Well,
since I was fourteen, though Cas has always been overprotective, just not to
this point until then.”
“Cas
is your brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,
I get that at that age, I was overprotective of my younger sister too, still
am,” he mused. “What I don’t understand is why it got worse at age fourteen,
and why you still allow it.”
“Long
story.”
“We’re
not going anywhere anytime soon, are we?”
I
took my eyes off my coffee cup and into his grey blue ones and found myself
telling him at least a little of why.
“When
I was fourteen, my step brother held me hostage for five days. He hurt me for
five days, and I almost didn’t survive, so now they are overprotective.”
“Your
step brother?” he asked looking at me curiously. I waited for it to click.
“Wait you mean Tristan?” he asked and I flinched at that name.
“Yes,”
I whispered.
“He
could never do something like that.”
“He
did,” I said. “He went to juvie until he turned eighteen because of it.”
“Okay,
if this happened then why hasn’t he ever told me about going to juvie?”
“How
long have you known him?”
“Five
years.”
I
nodded. “So after he got out, why he would talk about it? I mean, why would
you want to tell someone that they were in juvie for two years?”
“We
tell each other everything.”
“Did
you know about him having a step sister or a step brother?”
“I
knew about the step brother, Ace said he was in the military, when he got out
he would be coming to work at the shop.”
I
snorted at that, “Uhm, no, Cas will not be joining Ace’s anytime soon.”
“You
have a different last name than Ace.”
“Yep,
Cas and I both changed our last names after to our mother’s maiden name.”
“So
you would have been what, sixteen when I met them?” I nodded. “Why didn’t I
ever meet you?”
I
played with my coffee cup again, better than looking at his eyes at the
moment. “I was sent to live with my grandfather, my mom’s dad.”
“Why?”
“Ace
didn’t want me anymore,” I whispered.
“Where’s
your mom?”
“She
died shortly after I was born.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,
oh.”
After
that, conversation stayed away from my past and my family, which I was grateful
for since it wasn’t one of my favorite subjects. We spent hours talking and
laughing. I found out we had a lot of the same interests, though I couldn’t
believe what his favorite movie was.
“Really,
you’re going to stick by Caddyshack?”
“Hey,
what’s wrong with Caddyshack?”
“Other
than it has no plot, and is dumb, I don’t know maybe because the gopher is
creepy as hell,” I answered laughing.
“Oh
and what’s your favorite movie, some boring chick flick?”
“No,”
I answered giggling, “V for Vendetta.”
“Good
movie.”
“Mmhmm.”
I
happened to glance down at my watch and saw that it was after five a.m. “Oh
shit.”
“Late
for the ball?” he asked.
“Cas
will be up soon, I have to go.”
He
stood up and I followed, scurrying out of the booth quickly, he tossed down
money for our coffee then headed out the door, he held it open for me and I
nearly sprinted to my bike.
“Scout,
can we do this again?”
I
stopped strapping my helmet on and looked up at him, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Good,
I’ll text you,” he said then ran a finger across my cheek and then turned and
headed to his car—his very nice car, a 1967 GTO if I wasn’t mistaken.