Perfect Harmony (9 page)

I can’t let him take my virginity.

But I want to.  Holy shit, I want him so much it blinds me. 
There is nothing else, no reasons no excuses, only him and his body and mine
and I need it so so much.

I crave that risk and that darkness and this powerful man
who scares me to the deepest level of my soul.

My mind is spiralling out of control.  I can’t make sense of
anything.  All I know is I want him.

I need him.

“I... I don’t... I can’t...” I whisper.

Chase’s face remains strong and stoic.  A faint smile curls
on his lips.

He cups my face with both hands and I’m lost.

“You must choose, my princess.  The safety of what you know,
or the reward of what could be.”

My god.  His gaze stares deep into my soul, and he knows it
all - my darkest secrets and fears and horrors that haunt my every waking
moment.  And the pure blinding desire in my heart.

I stare up at him and he lowers his mouth to mine, about to
touch.

My mouth open and hot breath billowing out, I nod.

“That’s my girl.”

I close my eyes.

And he kisses me.

The smooth velvet of his lips is hot, pushing against my
own.  I taste his mouth and his tongue and he tastes mine, the rough stubble of
his chin pressed against me and his strong arms wrapped around and pulling me
into a sensual embrace.

A lightning bolt shoots through me and my body ignites into
a sexual fire.  His tongue is like silk, stroking the inside of my mouth.

Tension coils up in me, ready to explode, sparks of pure
ecstasy and bliss rushing through my lips and into my head and my hair and down
my heaving breasts and down to my belly and into the deepest most tender parts
of my sex, nerve endings flickering and sparking and setting alight, as my toes
curl and my body screams.

Chase pulls away and the world slowly fades back into view,
the baritone gasp of his breath the only sound in the universe.

My own breath sits in my throat; I’m unable to breathe - too
afraid to move or this perfect moment could end.

He strokes my cheek and I realise the truth: it has ended. 
But the experience - that kiss - is something I’ll never forget.

Because it’s my first.

And it was our first kiss.  Me and Chase.

It felt so insane to think we’d reached this point when only
a few hours ago I was weeping in his office and deathly afraid he’d find me. 
And now, we speed off to his penthouse to kiss and touch and make love.

And it’s because he wants me.  The actual me.  The real me,
as he calls it.  This man, this paragon of masculinity and power and success
and dominance - he could have any woman in the world.  And he wants
me
.

The real me.  Not the scared timid bird ready to fly away at
the first sight of danger.  But a powerful, beautiful woman.  One who could
take the whole universe into her hand, if she wanted.

A woman who could chance everything on what might be.

A woman afraid of nothing, except spending another waking
moment not living life.

In Chase’s arms, I’m not afraid anymore.

He pushes me against the leather seat and the heavy weight
of his body presses against my own.  His hands explore my skin and I throw my
head back, exposing my neck for him.

His lips kiss down my throat in sensual hot bites, my skin
prickling and begging for more.

“Chase,” I whisper, my words so faint like dust billowing in
the wind.  “I want you...”

“Mmmm... Melody.”  His voice is muffled by my neck, and I tilt
my head back for more.”

“I want you...” I continue, “...to be my first.”

He stops.

“Chase?”

His head rises and I see his shocked eyes.

“You’re a virgin?” he says.

I clear my throat and pull myself up on the seat.

He shakes his head and rubs his eyes.

“Chase?  What’s the matter?”

He bites his lips and then presses an intercom button on the
roof.

“Miller, change of plans.  You’re going to River Park.”

River Park
.

“What... why...” I say.

“That’s where you live, isn’t it?”

“It is, but... why?”

This is insane.  What the hell is going on?

I’ve ruined this.  I’ve actually ruined this.

“Chase, what I said - it’s a lie.  I’m not a virgin, I’m
not.  I don’t know why I said it - please, just forget I said anything,
please.”

“No,” he says, downtrodden.  “It was the truth.”  He sighs. 
“Of course it was,” he says almost to himself.

My cheeks burn.  This can’t be happening.  “So that’s it?” I
say.

“That’s it.”  His eyes are cold and dead.

The silence fills the limo like an unwelcome guest, and I
come to realise the truth: I have ruined everything.

I glance out of the window at the streaks of headlights
zooming past.

Chase doesn’t even look at me.  He just stares ahead almost
as if he’s possessed.

And I suddenly feel so very alone.

It’s ten minutes before we reach my neighbourhood, loud
music and the shrill garbled yelling of homeless people drowning out any sound
of traffic.  It would be impossible to talk over such a din, that is, if Chase
had ever said a word to me since my idiotic confession.

It dawns on me that he’ll never kiss again, and a pang bores
into my gut.

I’d only just given myself over to that different woman -
the real me.  The strong take charge powerful one, only to have her executed at
the gates.

There was only the other me now.  The sad, lonely me.  The
one afraid of everything, and feeling an empty ache for the fleeting feelings
I’ve lost.

No, I can’t go back to that.

You don’t just have an epiphany and then return to normal,
job well done.  The real me - the woman I want to be again - she wouldn’t stand
for this shit.  She’d sit up and speak and tell Chase-

“You’re an idiot.”

His head whirls to me in shock.  “What did you say?”

“You’re an idiot.  My “condition”.  It’s totally a
non-issue.  And thanks for finally looking at me, by the way.”

“It’s not a non-issue.  It’s a big issue.”

“But it’s not important to me.”

“It is to me.”  The light from the street lamp hits his face
in a white streak and illuminates his hard jawline.  “What you want, what you
need... it’s not something I can offer.”

“I just want you.”

“No, you think you do, but you want more.  Friendship,
marriage, love.  You’ll want it all.  They always do,” he says.

“I don’t.  I want our one night, just like you said. 
Nothing more.  Just you and me.”

“I will never love you.”

“Okay, maybe I don’t want you to love me,” I say defiantly.

“You say that, but deep down you know that’s not true.”

My gut clenches.  His words are cold, but I don’t believe
them.  I don’t love him - I’ve never loved anyone, not like that, not that
truly madly deeply shit where the radio plays and suddenly all the song lyrics
makes sense.  Where you’d die for each other.

The limo glides to a stop.  A moment later, the chauffeur
opens the door and the cool night air rushes in, bathing me in a sobering
cloud.  Beyond, I see the rustic front door of my apartment building.

“But-,” I say.

“-We’re done, Melody.  It’s over.”

Chase crosses his arms and returns his stare to the front of
the limo.

“No,” I say.

“No?  What do you mean
no
?”

“I’m not going to let things end like this.  You think you
can kiss me like that and then throw me away like a piece of garbage?”

“This is exactly what I mean - you want love.”

“I don’t want love,” I spit out.  “I want sex.  Hot steamy,
limbs flailing sweat dripping wild animal sex.”

He looks me over with an element of surprise.  And, is that
intrigue I also see?

“I’m saving you from making the biggest mistake of your
life,” says Chase.  “One day, you’ll find someone worthy of being with you,
someone able to give you everything you need.”

“I’m tired of waiting.”

A bitter wind howls past the open door, and an empty plastic
bag rolls across the wet cement.

I can’t leave.  Not now, not here.  Everything I ever wanted
and needed is in this limo.  The perfect man to usher me into womanhood and
teach me everything he knows.  And then I’d be free to explore the world on my
own, strong and powerful and alive.

I can’t go through those double doors and back to my old
life.  I can’t go upstairs and find Liz and Richard, together and happy,
laughing and singing in each other’s arms, while I whittle away my life day by
day, broken and alone in that darkness.

I’m not going back to that.  I refuse to.  I’d do anything
to escape that fate.

“Melody,” says Chase.  “Damn it.  Leave.  You must.  I know
what will happen if you stay.  This is not your decision.”

I desperately try to hold back tears.  My body trembles and
I turn to him.  “What’ll it be, Chase? 
The safety of what you know, or the
reward of what could be
?”

He’s taken aback, his eyes wide and full of shock.

I lean forward to speak to the driver.  “The penthouse,” I
say.

The driver’s eyes appear in the mirror and look back to
Chase for consent.

Chase stares at the mirror for seemingly forever, his gaze
locked and deep in thought.  He turns and stares at me for a long moment.

Then nods to the driver and closes the door.

The engine growls and the car drifts away from the curb and
on into the night.

I hear the soft click of a button and the privacy divider
lifts higher until there’s a clunk.

We’re alone.  Again.  Together.

My heart races, but before I can think another thought,
Chase grabs me and pulls me into his arms.  He pushes me against the leather
seat, and the last thing I see is his cruel and sensual mouth diving towards my
own.  I close my eyes, the feel of his hard powerful body pressed against me,
ruthless and dominating.

Our lips scorch with a burning kiss, so hard and passionate
that I give up instantly.

I give up everything.

––––––––

––––––––

T
he limo door opens and Chase carries me in his powerful
arms, across the moonlit street and through the double oak doors of his
towering skyscraper home.

A dim table lamp in the foyer scatters the diffuse light,
painting everything in washed out amber, almost as if reality itself was fading
away and a dream was taking over.

But this isn’t a dream.  No matter how tipsy and lightheaded
I feel, it isn’t from the champagne and the lack of food, or the icy rain
dripping through my hair.  It’s Chase, and his wondrous touch.

The memories of our kiss burns me deep inside.  How his
tender lips met mine and we embraced in a moment of sheer passion, that lasted
perhaps seconds or hours.  All sense of time has left me; all I can be sure of
is Chase.

I hear the faint click of a button and then the electronic
swish of the elevator’s descent.  But all I can see is Chase, the bottomless
black of his eyes drugging me, making me yearn for nothing else but his face.

I feel a little drunker than I realise, now I think about
it.  But I don’t care - I’m free and happy and alive for the first time,
basking in the heat of Chase’s chest as he sways left and right with every
step.

The elevator rides passes me by completely, and the next
thing I see is his fingers punching in the security code for his penthouse.  He
continues to sway as we venture through his home and I catch glimpses in the
corner of my eye of the cavernous but minimalistic living room, a giant floor
to ceiling window that stretches across the entire wall and on to a balcony
with an unhampered view of the New York Bay.

We rise again and again, in strong vibrant steps, up and up.

I realise we’re climbing a twisting staircase that spirals
up into the next floor and then we move through another hallway, so clean and
immaculate and beautiful.  I catch more glimpses, this time of a library with
wall to wall bookshelves.

We reach the end of the hallway and he pushes the heavy door
open with his shoulder.  He carries me through and kicks the door closed behind
him.

The flood of silver moonlight pours through the windows and
illuminates an enormous four-poster bed.

He walks towards it and places me gently down on the silk
bedspread like a sleeping princess, all the while, his eyes never leave my own,
fixed on me and drugging me with his desire and want.

He removes his tie and his tuxedo jacket, throwing them to
the floor.  His feet kick off his shoes, and the entire time he pierces me with
those dark eyes, his mind consumed with only one thought.

Me.

Chase sighs heavily and climbs on to the bed.

Before I know it, his hands are all over me, caressing my
body and sending me into a state of electric shock.  His lips kiss my own, and
he takes me in a powerful embrace, the passion growing stronger and stronger as
we taste each other’s mouths and tongues, hungry for one another.  The hunger
becomes unbearable.  His mouth presses against mine, so full of heat and sex,
wet with the scent of our bodies mingling in the air between us.

His hand cups my breast over the thin fabric of my dress and
I lean my head back and gasp.

His lips caress my neck, his fingers tracing my body down
from my chest and to my shaking waist.  My breath is so heavy, his lips now
kissing my neckline, the roughness of his stubble grazing against my heaving
bosoms.

A hand grabs my head and tilts it up, and his lips are on my
own again, his hand cradling the back of my head and pushing our faces together
in deep intense passion.  And I kiss him back, reckless and powerful and alive
and not giving a shit about anything except him and me right now, together and
free.