Authors: Monica Miller
“You don’t mind?”
“Why else would we have a private plane?” Ben asked as he formed a number on his cellphone.
“You do…”
“You’re my bro, we share things. Except for your hot wife, I know. But if you…”
“Don’t push it,” I said and Ben laughed.
*
The flight was annoyingly long and even though Ben’s plane was as comfortable as his place in Manhattan, I still couldn’t wait to see her. It was a five-hour flight and I was almost going insane. I drank a glass of whisky, because the stewardess was nice and I couldn’t say no.
It was 5 PM when I arrived at the private airport in L.A. and it took me about half an hour to drive through the infernal traffic. Not that New York doesn’t have bad traffic, cause man it does, but I loved New York so much! Especially because my office is 5 minutes away from Ben’s place, and I should call it “our place” since I’ve been living there for over a year, but I’m still not used to that.
The house we live in now is pretty big and near to the beach and I just love waking up and seeing the sun rise from the sea. Plus I do my jogging on the beach now and it is easier to do so in the morning, instead of wasting time at the gym.
I looked at the house next to us, it was vintage style and it had a lot more space than my place. And I was angry because the house next to us belonged to Jensen and Gabrielle, who were happily married for like two and a half years. They had a little daughter called Jay and everything was going perfect for them.
Opening the door, I realized there was no noise in my house. I sighed and dropped my backpack on the floor and took out my black hat and ran a hand through my hair. I slowly walked on the long hallway towards the kitchen and poured a glass of water and added ice. Everything looked so familiar and great, and I had a nice feeling that I was finally home. A smile spread on my face when I heard the back door open and I turned around, still holding the glass of water in my hand, and there she was, as beautiful as ever.
*
“Hey, are you okay?” I asked when Emma started to move in her sleep. She opened her eyes and looked at me pretty confused and I took her small hand in mine and took it to my lips and she sighed.
“I had that dream again,” she said and I rolled my eyes.
I looked into her eyes and smiled to myself. It is really funny how after all this time, my heart still beats like crazy every time she smiles at me. She raised her hand and slowly caressed my cheek and smiled back.
“It’s not funny,” Emma said and let go of my hand. “It’s a torture, it’s been two years now…”
“You’re just adorable,” I said and kissed her.
The truth is Emma was having nightmares about me marrying Monica for a while now. They weren’t too often, but it still bothered her to think I could’ve made that mistake. It bothered me, too. I was stupid when I hooked up with Monica, but thank God everything turned out to be okay.
“No, it’s… I hate it. Thinking you actually could’ve married her. And in my mind it’s still so clear.”
“I’m sorry. See, this is what I meant when I said you couldn’t get over that,” I said and ran a hand through my hair in desperation. “It’s been two years and fuck it, I’m sorry. You know you’re the only one I’ve ever loved, Emma. And the only one I ever will. And somehow this is not enough.”
She was without doubt perfect. Not just because I was madly in love with her, but because I knew her completely and appreciated and loved everything about her. It was really funny how after two years since we’ve been together, I was still as crazy as ever about her. I knew why I loved her, but I couldn’t understand why she loved me back the way she did. I mean, I’m not selling myself short now, I know I have the looks and I’m pretty intelligent, and of course you wouldn’t find a person more modest than I am, but she seems to see something else in me. I can see it from the way she always smiles at me, how she kisses me… This has been flawless. Except the moments when she has nightmares about me marrying Monica and she spends quite a while hating me, even though it’s not my fault. Not anymore.
I could easily remember every moment I’ve spent with her, and considering we’ve known each other for over almost 8 years now, that meant a lot. We’ve had our good times and bad ones, but I like to think that we’ve passed them successfully.
It was crazy to imagine myself without her. She was a part of me and I can barely remember how my life was before I met her. I slowly ran my hand through her hair and she smiled sweetly at me as her soft lips touched mine. I couldn’t feel anything but proud to wake up next to her every morning, and realize that I’m the luckiest guy on the planet.
“You know I told you we’re gonna be together forever, Ems?” I asked and she looked at me and seemed to think a little bit about it. “I cannot believe you don’t remember that!” I complained and her sweet laugh filled the room.
“It’s not that I… I don’t remember,” she confessed and I laughed as well and pulled her closer to me and kissed her.
“I told you in Connecticut, Ems…” I sighed and she looked at me and then smiled. “On Valentine’s Day, remember?”
“Oh, yeah… I do remember that one now,” she bit her lip and smiled widely. “After that you caught a cold because you thought it was so fun to be in the rain in the middle of the winter…”
“Yeah, Emma, forgive me for being romantic with you,” I said sarcastically and took her left hand to my lips. I watched her golden wedding ring sparkle in the sunshine that went through the opened window.
I thought about how stupid I was for letting her go that time. This was something I couldn’t forgive myself for. It was annoying as hell to know I’ve spent over eight months without her, because I was too stupid to realize she loved me back as much as I did. It was too stupid to keep going with the joke Monica and I were. Because we were just a joke. We couldn’t be as great as I am with Emma, because she matches me completely. She sometimes knows me better than I know myself and she is never selfish, like Monica was.
Don’t get me wrong, Monica and I still have a good relationship and there are no hard feelings. At least not anymore.
Of course it wasn’t nice that I left her and called off the wedding so shortly. But I wasn’t supposed to be the one Monica should marry, and the fact that I realized it at that Christmas party while being drunk and it hit me like a lightning bolt. That I could’ve made a mistake that would’ve cost me my entire life.
Emma pulled me closer to her and kissed me softly again. Then I heard the door open and Emma chucked and shifted in bed and I closed my eyes and sighed. I felt the bed moving under a small weight, and then an arm touch my shoulder.
“Daddy. Wake up. I know you pletending to sleep and it not nice.”
I tried not to laugh as I opened my eyes and saw my two year old, Lucas, standing on top of me with his eyes wide opened and all excited.
“I wanna show you somethink,” he said and I smiled as I ruffled his hair.
“Sure. Let’s just leave mommy rest, okay?” I said as I took him on my shoulder and walked out of our bedroom. Lucas laughed all the way to the kitchen and I left him on the kitchen counter as I looked in the kitchen. “So, whatcha wanna eat, kid?” I asked as I took out milk and stuff for sandwiches.
“Mommy always make pancakes.”
“I guess she’s not in the mood today. Give me a chance, buddy.”
“I wanted to show you somethink!” Luke said with a wide smile. “I made a he… air… heli...”
“A helicopter?” I asked and he nodded excitedly. “Okay, show me.”
“We not gonna eat before we play? Mommy always…”
“It’ll be our secret, okay buddy?” I told him as I scooped him on my arms. He started shifting and laughing, and yelling to put him down, but I knew he was just being spoiled, because he liked my attention. I let him on the floor as soon as we reached his room and he started running around, collecting toys.
I was pretty proud of his room, and Emma often laughed at me because she thought I didn’t have enough childhood since I decorated my child’s room with such enthusiasm. How could you not decorate your kid’s room without Spider-man on the ceiling, Hogwarts wallpaper on the walls, a closet that looked just like Iron Man’s armor and toys from Marvel’s? And I loved playing around with Lucas. But sometimes the kid has too much energy for my liking.
“Look, Daddy,” he said giving me something that resembled pretty much a… Transformers car maybe? But how could I say that to my two year old without breaking his heart?
“Oh, that’s awesome!” I said and his smile widened. “It’s so much better than my last one.”
“Not wolly, daddy, I can make you one and play togethel,” he said with an innocent look and I smiled.
I loved Lucas from the very first second Emma told me she was pregnant. That happened after a couple of months after I decided not to marry Monica and choose Emma instead. And I haven’t regretted the decision not even for a minute. My relationship with Ben was great again since I broke up with Monica. But he didn’t get back with her in the end. He was happy with a girl he met about a year ago, but he was still a convinced bachelor, and he also said he was planning on moving back to L.A. sometime soon. And maybe if he moved and he could manage to run the company from L.A., maybe I could do the same. We were thinking about having a branch in Los Angeles, so maybe it was possible.
Of course he visited us a lot, and he was Luke’s godfather, alongside Gabrielle. He liked coming back with me in L.A. sometimes, but his life was always in New York, and in L.A. he complained about the warmth, or air, or anything.
It’s still weird to think about it like that, even after two years. But it felt right. Spending time with Lucas was the greatest thing in the world. He somehow resembled his mother, but I think he looked exactly like me and had the same energy and he would totally be just like me. Emma said that was a good thing, so I believed her. And of course, it was my favorite time of the day when I got home back from work and saw them together, Emma reading him stories or playing, and Luke complaining about the fact she wasn’t good at it. I used to play with him all the time and Emma said she had no idea she had two kids. But she loved that.
“So Uncle Rick came by earlier…”
“How long have you been up, monster?” I asked and he just shrugged.
“I don’t know, Uncle Rick woke me up and he played with me for a while, but he says he… and Auntie Monica is… going somewhele. To visit my granny, I guess. And he said he’ll miss me and he hated the fact that you're not up yet because he wanted to talk to you, but…”
“Okay, I get it. He shouldn’t wake you up at these hours.”
“Uncle Ben he says you’re a lazy ass. What does that mean? He says I ask you.”
“What?” I laughed and Luke looked at me in surprise. “That means you shouldn’t listen to what Uncle Rick says. He’s not a reliable person.”
“What does ‘leliable’ mean?”
“You can’t trust him, he’s not mature enough,” I replied taking a Transformers robot. “I love this one.”
“I knew you were the same age as Luke! And I also know someone didn’t eat this morning.”
“Hi, mommy,” Luke said running towards her and she lifted him up and raised an eyebrow at me.
“What? I asked him if he wants to eat.”
“You did not,” Luke replied and Emma laughed.
“You’re awful as a dad,” Emma continued as she planted a kiss on Luke’s cheek. “Come, buddy, I’ll make you something.”
“Daddy doesn’t know how to make pancakes, does he?” Luke asked and I laughed, still holding the Transformers robot in my hand.
“Who cares about it? We play together, buddy.”
“Mom… said that’s greymailing…”
“Blackmailing,” Emma corrected him sweetly and I laughed. “But yeah, he doesn’t know how to make pancakes. I’ll make you some if you want to.”
“Yes. But daddy can eat with us too, right? Even though he can’t make pancakes.”
“Yeah, I guess he can,” Emma shrugged and I walked to her and kissed her softly on the lips and she smiled.
“I don’t like you two,” Luke said and we both laughed. “Mommy, could we go to the palk today? Now that daddy’s home?”
“Um… Could we?” Emma asked looking at me with a smile and I nodded.
We walked together towards the kitchen, me holding Lucas in my arms and Emma just laughing about the fact I let my kid starve because I wanted to play with him. I sat on the table with Lucas next to me who talked non-stop about toys and about Rick playing with him, and that he wanted to go out and play.
Usually we had play dates with our neighbors, Gabrielle and Jensen, but after a while it got pretty disturbing that he was always assaulted by fans and stuff, and we started to go separately, even though we spent the whole time together. Since Jensen and Gabrielle’s girl was only a year older than Luke, it was obvious we had more in common than we did with Rick and Monica who were still acting like teenagers. They were barely dating for a few months now and I never knew if they were serious or not.
*
“Hey, remember when I told you our kids we’ll be just as adorable as Travis?” I asked and Emma looked at me and nodded simply, her eyes wide.
I smiled, remembering her shocked expression when I said that. I actually meant the fact that our kids we’ll be adorable, but maybe her mind struggled at the fact that we could have a baby together, although now it’s not that impossible, considering we already have Lucas.
“You were so cute then,” I said and she blushed. “You still are cute, love. Anyway, I wanted to say that I was right about that… But our kid is more adorable than Travis. He’s the most adorable, isn’t it, love?”
“Yes…” she managed to say and I smiled. “You were so mean that day!”
“Mean?” I asked and laughed.
“Yes. You just couldn’t be so careless after you said something that big? I mean, I thought you meant…”
“No, you didn’t. You understood perfectly what I said, Emma, stop cutting around the bush,” I casually shrugged and she stared at me in disbelief.
It was so nice to notice that after all the time we’ve been together Emma could be speechless at something I say to her. And I love when she blushes. I turned to her and kissed her and she immediately kissed me back, wrapping her arm around my neck and pulling me closer to her. I turned to look at Lucas, who was having too much fun in one of the swings.