Perfectly Flawed (11 page)

As soon as she was back in her room, Adrianna texted
Cari about going shopping. They’d been planning to go. It would be a diversion Adrianna needed. Badly. She had to get out of the house, and being in the company of her lively, chatty friend might just save her.

Cari
responded instantly with the time of her last class, saying she’d come by right after. Only a couple of hours. Adrianna could hold on. She had to. Stripping off her sweaty jogging clothes, she got into a hot shower and stayed in for as long as she could. Trying not to think about the bad stuff, she purposely forced her thoughts to the graphics she needed to complete.

Her computer, a savior more than once, provided focus in an otherwise tumultuous world. Involved with the designs she’d been working on for her clients, Adrianna lost track of everything else. When the doorbell rang, she jumped up to get her bag and go down to meet
Cari. She grabbed her phone. The blinking light indicated another message. Dumping it in her purse, Adrianna didn’t waste time retrieving the voicemail. Since she’d been ignoring Kevin’s calls, and now Sean’s, there was no reason to listen.

“Hey, I made it as quick as I could. I have to study later, but I have a couple of hours.”
Cari wore jeans and a suede jacket, looking like a
Vogue
model. She looked that way in anything she wore.

“A couple hours will be fine. I just need to get out for a while.”

“I tried to get Shelby, but she had a late class. So I guess it’s just us.”

“Fine.”

They locked the door behind them, since Krista had left for work, and got in Cari’s Mercedes.

“Sometimes I think this car is too much for me. It’s pretty and all.”

“Just kinda big.”

“Yeah.”
Cari laughed. “Kinda big. Hey, so how’s it going with Kevin? You guys left early the other night. Is something going on you haven’t told me?” Cari grinned.

“Oh, Kevin.
Well, that’s not so good.”

“No? I thought that one was working out. He seems so nice.”

“Yes, he does seem that way.”

“No?”

“No. He’s…well. You know what? Let’s not talk about it right now. I just want to shop. And shop. And shop.” Adrianna glanced over at her friend.

“Sounds good to me.”
Cari cranked up the music, keeping her eyes on the road.

Adrianna felt her phone vibrate through the cloth purse she’d brought. Reaching inside, she turned it off and tried to focus on the music, mouthing the lyrics and looking out the window at the gloomy day. But her heart ached.

Chapter 15

Sean woke early despite the late night before. It annoyed him that it was too early to call Adrianna. While he waited for the sun to fully rise, he went for his morning jog and took a shower.
Memories of Adrianna in his arms, the feel of her body, her feminine scent. How soft she was. And so sexy.

Enough to drive a man crazy.
He couldn’t wait to see her again. Looking at the clock, Sean decided it was still a bit early. She had probably been up late too, and he didn’t want to wake her. There was plenty of work waiting for him.

After logging on to his computer, Sean dedicated himself to catching up on outstanding projects. He’d been gaining new clients, some of them heavy hitters. If things kept up, he’d have his own office soon. So many companies needed to tap social media but didn’t have a clue. Sean did, and his knowledge was worth a lot, it seemed.

Finally, he could wait no longer. Dialing Adrianna’s number, he felt excited. The prospect of seeing her had his blood pumping. But he got her voicemail.

It was still early. Maybe she was sleeping and had her phone off. He could wait. After several more hours of work and breakfast, he tried again.
Still voicemail. Sean was disappointed. Surely, she’d be up by now.

The more times he called and didn’t get her, the more distracted he became. It was difficult to focus on work. The time he’d spent with Adrianna had been amazing. And he was sure she felt the same way.

Or he
had
been sure. If that were true then she’d return his call. Thinking back, he tried to figure out if something had gone wrong. Of course, he hadn’t wanted to drive her home. But there was little choice. He couldn’t lock her in the apartment.

But then he’d said, “You’re with me now.” His words rang in his mind. Sean assumed that was how she felt also. Realizing that she hadn’t responded disturbed him.

The night with her touched him deeply. Adrianna wasn’t just any woman; she was different. Was it even possible that she didn’t have the same feelings for him as he did for her?

Then panic struck. Kevin. That asshole might have gone to Adrianna’s, either late at night or in the morning. If he was angry or provoked, he could hurt her again.

Without further reflection, Sean grabbed his keys and sprinted to his car. He had to make sure she was okay. Without being able to reach her by phone, he had no way to know. She could be passed out somewhere, needing him, and he wouldn’t have a clue.

Screeching to a stop in front of her aunt’s house, Sean jumped out and took the stairs two at a time. He rang the bell repeatedly but couldn’t rouse anyone. Not home. That could mean anything. If Adrianna was in the hospital, Krista wouldn’t know to contact him.

Frustration consumed him. Sean had no idea where to look. Calling hospitals as a first option seemed absurd. Running his hands through his hair, Sean walked slowly back to the car. And he just sat, unsure what to do.

If Adrianna was to show up anywhere it would likely be at her aunt’s house. Sean alternated between staring at the front door of the house, as if she would suddenly appear, and at his phone, willing it to ring.

After two hours, he was just about to leave. Not that he had any backup plan. In his rearview mirror, he saw a car pull up. It was Adrianna and her friend.
Thank God
.

Sean got out and raced back to open the car door for her. But her expression wasn’t what he’d hoped to see. There was no sign that she’d missed him, no exuberant affection, and it made
him feel like a fool.

“Hello, Sean.” Adrianna stood and took a step to open the back door and retrieve some packages.

“Hey, Sean.” Cari smiled at him; he’d met her just once before but she looked like a supermodel. She had stuck in his memory.

“
Cari.” He nodded at her.

Adrianna leaned down to peer through the window. “Okay, see
ya. Thanks for the shopping.”

“Sure. If you don’t have any shoes to go with that silver dress, let me know. I just thought of some I have that would be perfect.”

“Okay. I might need some. Call me this weekend.” Adrianna stood up, and Cari drove away.

“I was worried about you, you know. I called and called, but you didn’t answer. All I got was your voicemail. I thought something might have happened, and I’ve been sitting here for hours…wondering…concerned for your safety. Meanwhile, you were out shopping. Why didn’t you call me back?” Sean stared, waiting for a response that made sense.

Adrianna moved toward the house and set her packages on the lower step. She looked back at Sean.

“So…last night never happened?” Sean had to know. He couldn’t pretend everything was all right.

“It happened.” Adrianna blushed.

“So why are you acting this way?”

“How am I acting?”

“Like we don’t know each other.”

“No. I said hello.”

“Oh, well.” Sean expelled a breath, exasperated.

“Last night was wonderful. You should know that.”

“I do know that. But I’m wondering if you do.”

“I do, Sean. But the thing is…you don’t know me. Not really.”

“I think I know quite a bit after yesterday. If there’s more, tell me. I’m listening.”

Adrianna looked at him, her eyes bluer than ever in the afternoon sun. Her blond hair blew across her face in the light breeze. And Sean noticed that her injury was barely visible. Either good makeup or it was nearly healed. He suspected the latter.

“What you see isn’t what you get with me.” Adrianna looked sad.

“I’ve figured that out.” Sean wanted to touch her, hold her. Nothing was making sense. Things were clear to him, and he had trouble understanding why it was so complicated for her. Yet, he reminded himself that her experience with men hadn’t always been good, if ever.

“It was a wonderful night. But that’s all it was, Sean. That’s all it can be. Trust me.”

“I don’t agree, Adrianna. There is something between us. You can’t deny that.”

Adrianna didn’t say anything.

“So, I want to see you. I want to be with you. Why is that so hard to understand?”

“It just won’t work. And don’t ask me to explain it. I won’t right now. I’m doing you a favor. Please, just forget about me. We can work on the contract from home. We don’t even have to see each other. It will be better that way.”

“I wish you would just tell me what the problem is. You think I can’t deal with it? Is that it? Well, try me.”

Adrianna picked up her packages and started walking toward the door. Impulsively, Sean
took her arm, and she stopped but didn’t look back.

“Look at me, Adrianna.”

She turned to face him.

“Look at me and tell me you don’t feel anything.” Sean’s heart was breaking in two.

“I can’t tell you that. But it doesn’t matter.”

“It’s all that matters, Adrianna.” He looked at her soft lips, her flawless skin, and her sad face. Sean wanted to kiss her and he did.

Leaning, he touched his lips to hers, feeling her breath and smelling her sweet scent. Tenderly he kissed her, barely restraining his fiercer emotions. Adrianna didn’t pull back. She pressed her lips to his, but there was no joy in it.

Pulling back, Sean looked at her.

“Goodbye, Sean,” she said softly, and went inside, closing the door behind her.

Standing on the porch for several minutes, hoping by some miracle Adrianna would reappear, Sean struggled for an answer. But he found none.

*****

Closing the door behind her, Adrianna let her packages drop to the floor. Tears welled in her eyes. Leaving Sean—of all the hard things she’d had to do, that was the hardest.

When she’d seen him waiting for her, it had weakened her resolve. Watching him walk toward Cari’s car when they’d pulled up, her heart had raced. Sean was so ruggedly handsome, and she knew what it felt like to be held in his strong arms. And she knew a lot more.

Unsure if she could be strong in the face of the overpowering emotions that had overtaken her, Adrianna had done her best to seem indifferent. She was anything but that. Every move he made had sent electricity through her. Looking into the depth of his eyes and seeing the hurt there when she’d told him it was over had been a vise around her heart.

Then he’d kissed her. Oh so sweetly. The touch of his lips, so soft. His breath mingling with hers. All she had to do was acquiesce. It was what she wanted to do, more than anything. Yet she couldn’t.

There was no way she could hurt Sean. It was bad enough now. Think how it would be if the relationship continued, only to come crashing apart like a boat pitted against cliffs in a storm. The pain would be unbearable. She—loved him. Yes, that was it. Adrianna loved him too much to hurt him that way.

It would end quickly now, or intolerably later. But it would end. Once Sean knew her, really, he wouldn’t want her. Pressing against the door, she covered her face with her hand. Somehow, she knew he hadn’t left. Just on the other side of the front door, he was there. Waiting.

Why did life have to be so hard?

*****

When Sean finally left, he didn’t know where to go. Back to the apartment wouldn’t do. He couldn’t work in his state of mind. And being alone was unwise. It was late in the afternoon, so he rang Nic to see where they were hanging out.

Meeting at Sylvie’s, later. It was another club, and this one allowed age eighteen and older but also served alcohol with proper ID. When Nic hung up, Sean dialed another number.

“Have any plans for tonight?”

“Now I do,” Nell said in her honey voice.

“I’ll be there in an hour. Get dressed. We’re going dancing at Sylvie’s.”

Sean was frustrated and angry. One too many times Adrianna had turned away from him. A guy’s ego could only take so much. She was just one woman. Yet even as he thought it, he knew he was lying to himself. There would never be another woman like Adrianna. But she didn’t want him.
Get over it.

How many times did a woman have to reject him before he got the message? He wasn’t good enough for her, after all. That was probably it. He’d known that from the start. But he’d been dazzled by her beauty and dared to see the woman she really was inside, the passion she tried so hard to conceal.

Still—it wasn’t enough.
Love
wasn’t enough. He needed to stop being an idealist. Sometimes life just sucked. And this was one of those times. Sean had to get over her. He had to move on.

*****

Adrianna reclined on her bed, staring at the white plaster ceiling. Her aunt had come home and offered dinner, but she’d declined. In a matter of days, her life had blown up. She’d been so hopeful when she’d moved away from home, away from all the trouble.

It would be so good, a new start. And things had begun well. She’d gotten clients, and living with her aunt had been nice. Without her parents around, Adrianna had planned to change her life. Live it how she wanted to.

Then she had been blindsided by Kevin, which was a warning. But Sean had rescued her—wonderful Sean. Closing her eyes, Adrianna tried to block out the image of the handsome man she’d fallen for. But it was impossible not to think of him; Sean was all she could see.

Then without warning, it had all came crashing down the moment her mother slammed her back to reality. Adrianna had forgotten who she was,
what
she was—just for a few hours. It was one amazing night. But that was all. It was over.