Perfectly Honest (13 page)

Chapter 22

happenstance horoscope

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Be realistic when assessing a personal situation, even if it disappoints you. You cannot move forward with confidence without understanding where you have come from.

Mikaela woke slowly and for a moment wondered where she was. She couldn’t recall getting into bed, but she was definitely in Sam’s bed. The room was still dark, and she quickly glanced at the clock. Seven-thirty. There were still a few minutes before she had to get up. Relieved, she relaxed again and felt Sam’s side of the bed. It was cold, and she wondered if he had slept beside her. She looked at the rumpled covers and imprint in the pillow. Maybe. Possibly. Would she have slept through that? No, probably not. She had been dead tired, but she couldn’t imagine getting a restful sleep with Sam right beside her. Even now her body tingled at the thought.

Sam was an early riser and most days left the house by this time. So it wasn’t surprising that she didn’t hear any sign of him now. She flicked on Sam’s radio and snuggled under the covers listening to the news and weather as she slowly woke up. She smelled Sam in the covers and snuggled deeper. It was bright, sunny, and cold outside with the usual mix of mayhem and murder around the world. Palent stocks were up, which was good for her father, she thought with a grin.

Thinking of her parents, she mentally added calling them to her list of things to do. She hadn’t spoken to them in a while. She was procrastinating because she knew her mom wanted her to visit over Christmas and bring Sam. Mikaela wasn’t sure if Sam was ready for that; or, for that matter, if she was.

Sam’s not Elliott, she could hear Margo say. And Mikaela knew that. She was mostly over that lying, cheating, two-timing, scheming bastard. Mostly, she thought, as she took a calming breath and forced herself to relax. He really wasn’t worth the effort of any emotion.

Mikaela could admit that now. But it took three years of a busy residency and Margo, thank god for Margo, to get to that point.

At one time, Elliott had been the center of her world. She hadn’t been looking for love. In fact, she had been very content to immerse herself in medicine. She was busy with school and had just started her clerkship in the hospital. On one of her very few weekends off, she had gone home to attend a party hosted by her dad’s company. Party probably wasn’t the right word. Soiree. Yes, soiree was better. Tuxedos, ball gowns, champagne, an exquisite five-course meal in a high-ceilinged, crystal-chandeliered ballroom. It wasn’t really her thing. She would have preferred pizza in sweat pants, but this was her parents. She had gone because it had been important to them.

The evening was a celebration and a thank you to the executive, the engineers and the chemists, the Palentologists as they called themselves, who worked tirelessly on the innovative technology to springboard Palent to another level of success.

They had just patented a new polymer that stabilized chemical bonds at temperature extremes. It could be added to plastics and metals and prevented the contraction and expansion caused by high heat or freezing. It was the culmination of three years of intensive research shrouded in the highest level of security. Palent had signed lucrative contracts with multiple manufacturers who intended to incorporate the polymer into microprocessors in electronics and metal in building materials. In the future they had plans to add it to currency around the world. It had the potential to change the world of engineering. The biggest and latest coup was the contract with NASA and the international space station. There was a lot of backslapping and jovial handshaking on their success.

Mikaela couldn’t say she understood it completely, despite her father’s best efforts to steer her toward the company. She was relieved when her parents accepted her need to study medicine and pursue an application of science in a different way. So, growing up, she listened to the talk of the company’s struggles and successes around the dinner table, but she wasn’t integral to its success. Which is where Elliott miscalculated, the rat.

He was at the party/soiree. Looking debonair in his tuxedo with his dark hair, dark eyes, and unsmiling sexy seriousness. He wasn’t particularly charming or witty. He didn’t have a sense of humor or empathy for other people. In fact, she wondered now, what she had ever seen in him at all. Tall, dark, faintly mysterious. Is that what appealed to her? She shook her head at her naiveté and thanked the stars above that fate had intervened. She shuddered at how close she had come to marrying him, binding her for life, she thought with horror.

She had gone back to school and he had called and pursued her. At first she was flattered and then swept up in the romance of it. Not that he was particularly romantic. He brooded and was soulful. She was a nurturer and his soul mate, he said. He was quiet and moved like a sloth. She enjoyed the quiet after the frantic pace in the hospital, and she found his slow pace restful. And above all this, he needed her.

Oh boy, she had that right, just not how she imagined. He needed her money and her connection to her father’s company. In the end she learned he didn’t actually need
her
.

Sign these papers, he had said. Just stuff for the wedding. She had believed him. She had trusted him. She probably wouldn’t have even noticed, except for Margo. He had thrown the stash of papers among the charts she had brought home to sign. She probably would have just added her signature to those as well. Without a second thought. But Margo had been over and something had caught her eye as she waited for Mikaela to get ready to go out that evening.

“You’re going to sign that?” she asked incredulously. “He’s
asking
you to sign that?” she said even more strongly.

“What? He said it was paperwork for the wedding or honeymoon or something,” Mikaela said vaguely, waving it away.

“It restricts how much you work,” Margo said. “And if I read it correctly, that mumbo jumbo speaks to the lineage of your dad’s company.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous,” Mikaela said with a scoff. “Elliott would never make me sign something like that.”

Margo just looked at her silently and pointed.

Mikaela sat down heavily in the kitchen chair and scanned the papers. Her eyes blurred when she read the phrase Margo pointed out. She looked up at Margo with shocked eyes. “He’s dictating how many hours I spend in medicine? What does all this mean? He expects me to have a role in my father’s company, and he expects my share of the company to be controlled by him?” Mikaela read in disbelief. “This is insane.”

Margo came over and squeezed Mikaela tightly. “I’m sorry.”

Mikaela sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Shit. I would have signed it, too. That’s the scary part.” She shuddered.

Margo looked at her sympathetically. “Do you have a lawyer who could read it over and explain it to you? Someone you trust?”

“Yes, I can ask Michael.” Michael was the head of the legal team at Palent and had worked with her father for years. “He'd probably even look at it today for me.”

Michael looked it over and confirmed the worse. It was a prenup that exercised control over pretty much everything she did and owned. Even Michael was a bit shocked at the breadth of the demands.

Needless to say, Mikaela didn’t sign it. With barely controlled fury, she returned it to Elliott. Actually she might have thrown it at him. And slammed the door in his face. And then, she wasted tears on him. That was the only thing she regretted.

But she did have one thing to thank Elliott for – he taught her self-preservation. From then on, she was careful in relationships. She guarded her identity, didn’t mention her father, and used her mom’s maiden name as her own.

She was not going to be used for her money, her family, or her connection to Palent. Only a handful of people knew she was an heiress to a billionaire’s fortune. It wasn’t how Mikaela identified herself, and she didn’t want others to define her that way either.

Mikaela sighed. She wasn’t sure Sam was ready for all that. She loved Sam. It caused her heart to ache at the thought of it. But it wasn’t enough. She needed him to love her.

Sam was so much better than Elliott. Sam was charming, thoughtful, and romantic. He made her laugh.

How did Sam see her in her job? Granted it was a bit of a rocky start, and he had had to reevaluate that once already. She knew, in her heart, that it was crazy to compare him to Elliott. But it had shocked her that the man she would have taken as her husband, her mate for life, would have thought that she was just dabbling in medicine and wouldn’t acknowledge how important it was to her. Sam wouldn’t do that, would he? Would he consider his job more important than hers? She cringed as she thought about the move to Emerson. But he saw them as equals? He respected her. Right?

Mikaela groaned. Why does she even worry about this stuff? Because once bitten, twice shy.

So she put off calling her parents until she had time to sort it all out.

Mikaela glanced at the clock. Which wasn’t now. She threw back the covers and dashed to the shower to start her day.

Chapter 23

Written in the Stars by Esmeralda Garnet

ARIES (March 21-April 19) A partnership will benefit from your innovative ideas. Look forward to change. You cannot control every situation. Do the best you can for a positive outcome.

Mikaela caught a twenty-minute break at lunch. She spent it multitasking in her office, sifting through paperwork, scanning mail, taking a quick peak at her horoscopes, and eating a tuna lettuce wrap with her third cup of coffee.

There was a memo from one of the hospital engineers with a question about the last room they were finishing. She made a mental note to give him a call.

She wrote a referral for counseling for Joanne and Rob and saw that the autopsy request had been approved but not completed. She sighed as she finished the note.

Physically, Joanne was doing well and had been discharged from hospital. Mentally, she was holding it together and recognized that she hadn’t dealt with her twin’s death. She wanted to be strong for her baby. It helped that her son was doing really well. He would probably stay in the neonatal intensive care unit for a week or two until he gained a bit of weight, but the pediatricians didn’t see any complications arising from his prematurity. So it was hopeful that the family could work toward recovery and have some peace. The funeral was scheduled for the end of the week, so Mikaela made a note to have her schedule cleared so she could attend.

Mikaela flipped to a letter from an ob-gyn resident, in her final year, interested in starting a practice in July. Mikaela scanned the letter quickly, and then sat back and read it through more slowly a second time. The resident was hoping to settle in Emerson. She had family nearby, and although her training was done in a large center, she wanted to return and live in a rural setting. She was open to completing further training in a subspecialty and would be equally happy settling into a general practice. Mikaela scanned her curriculum vitae and the impressive letters of reference that were included. The resident managed to convey enthusiasm for change, which impressed Mikaela, but balanced it with a friendliness that was so inherent in the small community of Emerson.

Mikaela had been toying with the idea of building the department. There’d certainly be enough patients and she had operating time to spare. It was busy enough operating one day a week. Between pre-op, post-op and prenatal clinic visits, and all the surgeries and deliveries they generated, her days were full. She gave away the operating time she didn’t need and other departments snapped it up, but the fact she wasn’t using it was tracked. At some point, she wanted a partner so she could take holidays and days off, and then, the extra day would be essential.

Mikaela set the letter aside thoughtfully. The timing might be perfect. In six months, the renovations would be complete, and the new delivery suites would be up and running. She could look at office space and staff and create a business proposal to make sure it made sense financially. At the very least, she could set up a meeting with the resident in the New Year and give some thought as to whether a subspecialty would be useful. It would be worth a second look.

Change, Mikaela thought. No fear, no anxiety, no shuddering
—
just a pleasant positive sensation. She had to smile.

Mikaela had three patients left to see in her afternoon clinic when she received a text from Sam.

Going out to play poker with the boys tonight. Won’t be home for dinner.

With a sense of relief, Mikaela texted back.

OK thanks for letting me know. Try not to lose your shirt.

Haha don’t wait up.

Mikaela smiled and put her phone away. She gave Sir Osler, now sitting on her desk, a little flip to get him nodding, and it made her laugh.

Her next patient was Nancy Duncan, a thirty-three year old who looked twenty years older than her age. This was her third pregnancy but the first she was keeping. Mikaela had yet to determine if that was because it was so late when Nancy realized she was pregnant or if she actually wanted the baby. Since the referral had been made, Nancy had shown up for only two appointments. Nancy smoked, possibly used alcohol, and swore she was off the cocaine. Mikaela considered it a small victory to have her there.

After checking the nurse’s notes, Mikaela walked into the examining room. Blood pressure and urine screen normal. Weight gain fine. The baby was small for its age, but the fetal heart rate was perfect. The pregnancy seemed to be progressing as well as expected, except, Mikaela thought as she looked up, for Nancy’s black eye.

“Hi Nancy. How are things going?” Mikaela asked.

“Pretty good, Doctor. Pretty good,” Nancy said as she rubbed her palms down her jeans and picked imaginary lint off her sleeve. Her eyes darted around the room.

“Any pain? Any bleeding, at all?” Mikaela asked.

“Um. A little bleeding. For the last few days I noticed blood. Not so much as when I have my monthly, but enough I have to use something,” she said looking down at the floor.

“Any cramps with that, Nancy?” Mikaela tried to catch her eye.

“No, no cramps. Just the bleeding.” Nancy continued to focus on the floor.

“Let me just examine you.” As Mikaela exposed Nancy’s belly, she asked, “How have you been feeling otherwise?” Mikaela ran her hands over Nancy abdomen feeling the baby and noticing the faint bruising in the flank. She rattled off a list of questions, but other than a poor appetite, Nancy seemed well.

Mikaela covered Nancy and helped her to sit up. “Come have a seat over here,” she directed and held out a hand to help Nancy off the examining table.

Nancy sat down and Mikaela took a seat opposite her.

“You have a black eye and some bruising on your abdomen,” Mikaela said quietly.

Nancy sat with her eyes downcast and didn’t say a word.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I . . . I’m just clumsy. I . . . I fell on the stairs.”

Mikaela nodded.

“I swear I’ll be more careful. It won’t happen again. I just wanted to check about the bleeding. It’s nothin’ wrong with the baby, is it?”

“The heartbeat is strong, but I think we need to do an ultrasound to take a closer look. I’m glad you came in. It was the right thing to do.”

Nancy nodded.

“Who’s living at home with you now, Nancy?”

“Just me and Jimmy.”

“He’s the father?”

“Yes.”

“How does he feel about the baby?”

“He’s okay. Mostly. Doesn’t say too much about it. He’s not too happy with the weight gain, but it only seems to bother him if he’s using.”

“What’s he using?”

“Weed, hash, coke. Whatever he can get his hands on. But I’m clean. Not touched the stuff since they told me the baby gets it, too.”

“That’s good, Nancy. Because that’s true.” Mikaela paused. “Did Jimmy give you the black eye?”

Mikaela watched as emotion shattered Nancy. Shock, shame, and fear flashed in tired eyes and sagged an already weary body.

“Pregnancy is sometimes really hard. It’s supposed to be an exciting, joyous time with a new baby on the way, but it can also be scary and stressful.” Mikaela paused. “Nancy, if Jimmy is hitting you, I want you to know that you can talk to me about it. There are things you can do and ways we can keep you and the baby safe.”

“But I’m clumsy and fat,” she sniffled. “I deserve it.”

“No, Nancy, you don’t. You’re not fat. You’re pregnant. And no one has the right to hit you.”

Nancy just stared with tears rolling down her face. “Where would I go? What would I do? He’d follow me and beat me more for telling someone.”

“There’s a shelter for women. You could go there and be safe. You could also go to the police for help.”

“But he’s on probation, and they’ll put him back in jail.”

“Maybe. But your first concern should be your safety and that of the baby.”

“He’s so sorry. He promised me he wouldn’t do it again,” she said wiping her eyes. “I don’t want to get him in trouble. I love him.”

Mikaela sighed inwardly and wondered if she needed to admit her. “Has he done this before?”

“No, never. And I swear, he said he wouldn’t do it again. I believe him.” She looked up with a glint in her eye.

Mikaela considered. Her hands were tied if Nancy didn’t want to press charges. But she’d need to keep a close eye. “Let’s get the ultrasound done. I’d like you to come in every week now. Could you do that?”

Nancy nodded.

“Do you want the number for the shelter?”

“No, Jimmy wouldn’t like it if he found it.”

Mikaela sighed again. “Remember you can always call the police or go to the Emergency Department if you’re scared.”

“Okay. Thank you, Doctor.”

For what? Mikaela thought. It’s not enough. “You’re welcome,” she said out loud.

Mikaela saw the last two patients of the day, and as she finished her note, Paula came in to tidy up the room.

Paula bustled about with the same energy she had when she started the day. “That’s it for today. It was a busy clinic.”

“Yes, it’s not too late, but already pitch black outside.”

“That’s the hardest thing about winter,” Paula said. “Makes me think I should be hunkering down in hibernation.”

Mikaela felt the energy radiating off of her and laughed. “I can’t imagine you being anything but active.”

Paula laughed with her. “You’re right, of course. Makes me think I should be hunkering down, but only briefly. Tonight I’m headed over to the school for badminton.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It is. Twice a week for all ages and skill levels. It’s fun and a great way to meet people. Keeps me in with the young crowd,” she said with a wink. She folded the tape measure and recapped the Doppler gel.

“You go girl! I, on the other hand, am looking forward to hunkering down. A good book by a roaring fire is all I have the energy for.”

“That sounds lovely, too. Enjoy your evening.” She waved as she headed out to the next room.

Mikaela finished her note and after shutting down the computer, went to her office. She dealt with everything in her inbox. She pulled on her coat and gloves, hooked her briefcase over her shoulder, and locked her office door.

The air was cold and crisp as Mikaela walked to her car. The roads were clear and pulling into the driveway, she saw the full moon just above the house. Making her way to the front door, she stopped to gaze at the stars. Not a cloud in the sky and a dazzling display of twinkling lights. Without the lights of the city, there were dozens more visible. Mikaela could pick out the Big and Little Dippers and follow her way to the North Star, but after that she could only guess. Probably an app for that, she thought. Wouldn’t it be lovely to float on her back in the pool and star gaze through the glass? Her stomach grumbled. First, something to eat and then she would head to the pool.