Phoenix Rising I (34 page)

Making her way to the elevator, she took in as many deep, cleansing breaths as she could muster. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest as she pushed the number five. Top floor of a small town hotel. Why they played a show in this little hick town was beyond her understanding, but, hey, who was she to question a rock star?

Nervously, she knocked on his door. Her knuckles barely made contact before the door opened slowly. Her eyes trailed all the way up his chest to the face that smiled down at her. Well, she couldn’t actually call it a smile. More like a half smile or smirk. It was what the media dubbed his “unsmile” because Grey wasn’t known to flash his pearly whites.

“Come in,” his deep voice called as he swept his arm toward the inner suite.

Nice. She stepped inside. Pricey room. From what she could tell, there was an outer living area and the door at the back of the suite probably led to the bedroom. “Nice place.”

“Thanks. I moved in this morning because I knew you would be coming.”

“No need to do anything special for me.” She forced a smile, which was uncomfortable beneath his emerald green gaze.

“I felt the need,” he said quietly.

“I’ll just get the interview and leave you to your day then.” Strictly business. He closed the door behind them and then moved to join her near the sofa.

“Please, have a seat. Would you like a drink?”

Yes.
“No, thanks. I don’t tend to drink on the job.” But she’d had her share last night which was probably why her defenses were down against him.

“Suit yourself.”

She sank down onto the sofa and then quickly straightened her back, hoping to at least look professional. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her pad of questions, the one she had left in her car last night. That should have been a sign that things were not going her way from the get-go.

“Now, I’d like to start by....”

“I wanted to apologize for last evening,” he interrupted.

Damn him. He sat across from her and turned his green eyes on her. Then he smiled slowly. That combined with his words was enough to turn her stomach to jelly. “There is nothing to apologize for. Really. I’m a big girl.” Her voice was loaded with sarcasm, and she knew it, but there was nothing else she could think to say.

“Yes, but yours was a case of mistaken identity.”

“On your part perhaps, but I knew exactly what I was doing,” she assured him.

This gained her another unwanted smile. “I did not mean....”

“Save it. It’s done. Now, could we get to the real purpose here?”

“This was my purpose in asking you here. Would you like some wine?”

“No. I don’t drink on the job. I told you that already.”

“Forgive me. You seem tense.”

“Tense,” she muttered. You could say that. “So, what was your purpose? To find out if you’re just another notch on my belt?”

“You’re angry.”

“No, Grey, I’m not angry. I’m ashamed. I acted like just another groupie and….”

“Is that what you think? Do you think you were a means to an end?”

“Wasn’t I?” Her fingers clung to her pen as she tried to remain focused. There was no point now. Her focus was lost, and this interview was down the toilet. At least she hadn’t slept with him this time. Yet.

“No. You were not a means to an end.”

“Well, you were. Now, the interview.”

“Why do you lie? Is it to cover your fear? Do you know I can feel your thoughts? Your anger is justified. Direct it at me, not yourself. Rage against me, Anna,” he leaned toward her as he spoke, and his fingers stopped in mid air, as if he wanted to touch her. Instead, he clenched his hand into a fist.

“It was nice to see you.” This was too much. She was out of here. Standing and stuffing her notes back into her bag, she hauled the bag onto her shoulder. “Have a nice life.”

“No, don’t go.” Desperation filled his voice. “The interview.”

“To hell with the interview.”

“Wait, please, I have something--something to show you.”

“I’ve already seen it,” she flung over her shoulder, trying not to be affected by the genuine pleading in his voice.

“Please, Anna. You and I shared bodies and souls. Give me two minutes.”

She turned on her heels and folded her arms across her chest, letting out a huge sigh as she did. “One Mississippi, Two Mississippi....”

She hadn’t noticed the piano at first, but when he sat down and placed his fingers over the keys, her heart lurched.

“This is called
The Mourning After.
I wrote it in Memphis three years ago.”

Her heart stopped as the music poured from the black beast. Each note swirled around her as a bitter reminder of when exactly she had given her heart to the nameless man.

“I’ve heard enough,” she barely choked out the words.

“No, you haven’t.” He stopped playing and turned to face her. “You haven’t heard nearly enough. But I’d like for you to listen while I tell you a story I have never told anyone.”

“Then why tell me? I’m a reporter. I’ll tell everyone.”

“You won’t tell a soul, Anna, because you won’t need to. Do you trust me?”

“I don’t even know you,” she let her arms drop now, her defenses down.

“But you gave yourself to me.”

“We fucked. That was all. End of story.” She avoided his eyes as she lied to him.

“No. That was the beginning, but it wasn’t really, now was it? Do you think I didn’t see you, that I didn’t feel you that night in Memphis? The second you entered the hallway, I felt your presence. The song was for you that night.” He stalked toward her as she backed up, attempting to find the door in her feeble escape.

“You’re crazy. You can’t possibly … you couldn’t have.”

“Shhh. Trust me.” His finger covered her lips. “I felt you then just as I felt you last night. The need within me, the hunger within me was so strong that I reacted to it, to you.”

“No,” she pushed away in panic.

“Yes, Anna. Please understand that I need you. You are part of my soul.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” she fumbled with the doorknob as her fingers refused to work.

“You can’t deny it, Anna. I’m in your head and your heart. I am a part of you. If you leave now, you will always wonder.”

The words hung in the air between them. He was right. He had infected her that night with his music, his pain. He had become part of her soul. “Fine. Talk fast. I have a plane to catch.”

* * * *

“I can’t explain. I broke a sacred vow last night when I looked into the audience and saw you standing there. The look on your face was such beautiful anguish and reminded me of someone else who stole into my private nightmare late one night in Tennessee.”

“You never saw me.”

“I felt you. Your soul called out to mine as loudly as if you had screamed my name. I remembered you from long ago, your hair curling down your back, your eyes filled with longing. I have known you before, Anna. And you know me, too.”

“No, Grey, I don’t. You’re just a rock star.” Her confidence seemed to falter as her bottom lip quivered.

“I am more than that, and if you allow it, I will show you a past you do not recall.”

The fear in her eyes caused him to retreat, take a step back, and reconsider. He had pushed her too far. He was trapped in his own game. The idea of confronting her honestly was now impossible.

He reached out to run his thumb along her bottom lip. She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, as his finger lingered there.

“Tell me why you can’t sleep,” he whispered, revealing her inner most secret. How could he know? She hadn’t told anyone about her sleep problems, but this man who had managed to work himself into her head knew her most private torment.

She wanted to run, but she stood her ground instead. She knew he saw fear flash in her eyes. Closing her eyes and parting her lips, she allowed her breath to brush across his hand.

“I can’t sleep because of the dreams,” she pulled away as she spoke.

“What dreams?”

“The ones that take me to other worlds, other times. I lead rebellions, train warriors, fly on fairy wings. I conquer worlds in those dreams. I cast spells, and I … I fall in love.”

“Why do those things haunt you?” His heart lurched as she spoke.

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m here to get an interview, something I failed to do. Now, please, let me go.”

Tears glittered in her deep blue eyes, and she could see that his heart ached for the pain he had caused.

“I am so sorry. I was only trying to bring you peace.”

“What peace?”

“The peace that I owe you for doing this to you.”

“Doing what?”

“Making you see. You do live other lives at night. You are part of another existence.”

“This doesn’t make sense.”

He swallowed hard, knowing the truth would only divide them further. “No, I suppose it doesn’t. There was a time when it would have. You are a
Nocturneau
. You are part of a night world, and you are part of me.”

“You’re crazy. I’m leaving.” But she faltered on her steps.

“When you were a child, you were afraid of the dark. Who comforted you?”

“I can’t do this with you, Grey. I can’t. Whatever you need from me, find it somewhere else. I don’t have the answers you are looking for. All kids are afraid of the dark.”

When the door finally closed, he stood there staring at the wood, wishing he had been man enough to know when to back off.

Chapter Four

Three Weeks Later

Rain and New York went together like Jack and Coke. Grey had seen rain in every part of the world, and it was never as beautifully depressing as it was in this city. It gave him a reason to muddle around his apartment and sleep all day. He hadn’t felt like doing much else lately, that was for sure. Work was done, and he had two weeks to himself to wallow in self pity, self loathing, or whatever else struck his fancy. Two weeks to think about Anna and why he had let her walk away from him.

The rain was really coming down now, making him long for something he could never have. Every time it rained, Grey felt the need to go home. The only problem was that he wasn’t sure where home was anymore. This apartment didn’t feel like home. It felt like a place to live, grow old and die in, but it hadn’t even once felt like home. His home was somewhere else, a place he could not return to without Anna’s help. He could have sworn he reached her one night last week, but he woke up alone as usual. But he couldn’t get to her through his dreams. The powers he once held in the dream world had been weakened by the power of Inoco, the spirits who sought to keep him away from Anna. When he looked into her eyes, he was aware of their past together, and he was aware of what he needed from her in order to return to the world of sleep and dreams.

He gave up on the sleep, and the rain was picking up so much outside that he decided to go out and wander around in it and find a diner or something. He looked at his watch. It was only three in the evening. He had a long way to go before that restless sleep would find him, if it did at all today. Grabbing his jacket, he stepped into the elevator and out into the cold October rain.

The street was almost empty when he stepped out into it. The weather had forced all of the neighborhood children indoors today. And anyone else who had any sense. The wind whipped around him, blowing his hair into his face as he walked up the street.

The diner wasn’t far from his apartment. He had gone there several times since he had moved to this part of town six months ago. They had strong hot coffee and the greasiest food he had ever tasted. He had often joked that he could feel his arteries closing up and his body rejecting the food as soon as it hit his stomach. He had never been much for healthy eating.

He was about to enter the diner when he caught a glimpse of a woman in one of the office buildings. She wasn’t up very far, second story, and she was watching the rain, too. Anna. He should have known this town would be her sanctuary. She was staring out into the street, and she turned to look at him. He could have sworn that their eyes met for a brief moment before she moved away from the window. His heart leapt at the sight of her. It was almost as if he felt an electric shock. It was the connection to her playing tricks on him in his weakened state.

He searched the side of the building for a name, but there was none to be found on this side. He closed the rest of the distance between the street and the diner looking back the whole time, hoping to see her again.

The diner was cool, as usual. It felt even cooler today because he was soaking wet. The waitress behind the counter, Roxanne, just shook her head at him. Roxanne was one of the first people he had met in this neighborhood. She was full of gossip every time he saw her. And she was always trying to fix him up with someone. She was fifty and in love, having married her high school sweetheart twenty years after high school and couldn’t be happier. She wanted to spread her happiness, she always said. Grey told her to spread it elsewhere. He was Mister Doom and Gloom.

“You will catch your death out there, Grey,” she said, handing him a cup of coffee before he had time to order anything.

“I’m not that lucky,” he said, in his thick deep accent. Grey had picked up the accent somewhere along the way. It was half Russian and half Brooklyn, and he knew it intimidated the hell out of most people.

She laughed, “Miserable again today, dear?” He didn’t answer her. “And distracted, too, I see.”

“What?” he said. He
had
been distracted.

“Distracted. What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said turning to take a sip of the bitter coffee. “What building is that behind us?”

“That? Oh, it’s the Lucas Building. Why?”

“What is in it? What kind of businesses?”

“Magazines and such. One you should know.
Metal Alloy
. They did a feature on you not long ago.”

“Yes,
Metal Alloy
,” he said, realizing this was Anna’s magazine. He heard Roxanne talking again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “What were you saying?”