Had she not been so astounded by Ben’s comment, she would have thought it hilarious. As it was, Sarah almost crawled out of the shop in embarrassment. She cringed as she apologized for her son’s tactlessness and then beat a hasty retreat before he could say any more.
Amy was left to figure out for herself what had preceded Ben’s astounding disclosure and what she would do with all the information once she had it. A whirlwind of unanswered questions spun through her head.
Maggie thought Daniel might have genuine feelings for her. Leona was involved in a same sex relationship and was therefore not interested in him. Ben said Daniel wanted to marry her.
Immobile with disbelief, she allowed the facts to wash over her. Let the truth settle in. She took the extraordinary line-up of events in her life the last few months and finally saw them for what they really were.
The kisses, the sudden flare of desire, the irrepressible lust… None of it was coincidental. It was all part of his carefully masterminded plan to make his best friend fall in love with him, because he loved her.
What a brilliant strategy. It worked. Amy fell head-over-heels in love with him. Crazy, mad in love with him.
She just assumed he was incapable of loving her back.
Finally she understood what Maggie had been trying to tell her all along. Her fears about Daniel had been misplaced. Because of Simon and because of her father, she was afraid Daniel would betray her, leave her. She was terrified he wouldn’t feel strongly enough about her to remain faithful. She didn’t trust him. She had no faith in him. When he told her he loved her, she dismissed his emotions as the lustful yearnings of an adult man. When he spoke about wanting to be with her for always, she told him he was talking rubbish.
How wrong was she? She was way off the mark, mistaken, misguided. Her logic was flawed, faulty. How else could she put it? She fucked up.
If anything, she was the one who was disloyal to Daniel. Her lack of trust and faith in him were the ultimate betrayal. She should have known better. He was the single most honest person she knew. If he said he loved her, he loved her. Period. She should have accepted that as fact.
Instead she panicked. She was so threatened by the presence of another woman in Daniel’s life that she ran away. Ran away from the best thing that had ever happened to her. From her best friend and lover and from her future.
All because she didn’t have enough faith in Daniel to trust he wouldn’t hurt her.
For hours she sat, motionless. Darkness approached, the last remaining patch of sunlight ebbed, shadowed and vanished. A dim glow was cast over the walls and chairs from the few streetlights twinkling outside. The near-complete blackness surrounding her reflected the emotion churning inside.
For hours she replayed the chain of events that brought her to her current situation until only two thoughts persistently echoed through her mind. All Daniel had ever given her was his love, and all she’d ever done in response was screw him.
She failed him. Could he ever forgive her?
Chapter Fourteen
The thing about knowing someone loved you, Amy realized, was it was impossible to let go of the idea once it had taken root. He loved her. Daniel really loved her.
He hadn’t planned on leaving her. He planned on marrying her. She’d put two and two together and got it wrong—horribly, hideously wrong. Before another minute of this god-awful misunderstanding passed she had to make it right.
Regardless of the fact it was well into the wee hours of the morning, she doused herself in Daniel’s favorite perfume. The one that made him crazy, made him stand close and bury his nose in her neck. She searched for the black cocktail dress she wore the night of the exhibition, when things had taken such a steamy turn in their relationship. Impatience took hold of her when she couldn’t find it and she threw on jeans and a tight T-shirt, too hurried to bother with a bra.
She grabbed her keys and ran. The desire to make things right with Daniel lent wings to her feet. Their relationship couldn’t remain the same for one more second.
The ten minutes it took to drive to his unit and race to the front door seemed more like five hours. Amy pressed the buzzer, her heart pounding.
Open the door.
Blood roared in her ears as she buzzed again.
Where the hell is he?
She pressed a third time. Her hand shook. Her whole body shook.
Hurry up!
Didn’t he know they had to start the rest of their lives together? What was taking so long? She tapped her finger nervously against the doorpost. He was here. He
had
to be. According to Sarah, he’d returned home. Why wasn’t he opening the door?
Finally,
finally
, came the sound of footsteps. She heard the metal creak of a lock turning and she wiped damp palms against her pants. Her breath came in short spurts and her cheeks burned.
The moment of reckoning had arrived.
The door opened and there he was. His face all warm and sleepy, his glorious curls, longer now and tousled. He wore a pair of boxers she guessed he must have pulled on in a hurry. They were inside out. She’d woken him. She didn’t care. All she wanted was to throw herself in his arms and drown in his love.
“Amy?” He stared at her in disbelief. “What’s going on? Is everything all right? Did someone die?” His voice sounded panicky.
“Everything’s fine. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“At three in the morning?” He rubbed his eyes, forcing the sleep away.
“It couldn’t wait.” Her heart hammered.
He yawned and stretched at the same time, the movement pulling Amy’s gaze down to the beautiful symmetry of his powerful chest.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s late. I just didn’t want to waste another minute.” Adrenalin coursed through her veins. “Danny, I was wrong.”
“You were?” He looked confused. Who could blame him? It was the middle of the night and he had no idea what she was doing here.
“Yes, I was. I was a fool. A blind, pig-headed fool. I can’t believe it took me so—” Movement caught her eye.
Behind him a woman stood in his lounge. She wore a skimpy white nightgown, and looked remarkably like Janine Stillman.
“Daniel,” Janine asked in a sleepy voice. “Is everything okay?”
If Daniel responded, Amy wasn’t aware of it.
A bucket of cold, wet cement had been thrown at her, cutting off her air, blocking her senses, squelching her dreams. She couldn’t breathe. Everything went dark.
No! Oh God, no.
Daniel was with another woman. Pain cut through her. Sensation drained from her body. She was rooted to the floor, paralyzed with shock. Time stood still.
Then instinct took over and she fled, ran for the safety of her car, desperate to put some distance between herself and them.
“You idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot!” She cursed as she ran. How stupid was she? Why didn’t she consider the fact Daniel might have company? Her stomach felt queasy. How did she get her facts so mixed up? Daniel was not in love with her.
“Idiot!” Hadn’t she learned anything about men? They always moved on. Daniel especially. He was the king of moving on. Why should it be different with her? Because a three-year-old told her so?
The inky blackness of night obscured her vision and she stumbled over something on the footpath. Damn it, why weren’t there any streetlights on? Tears sprang to her eyes.
Don’t cry. Not yet. Wait until you get home.
Her hand shook violently as she tried to unlock her car but she couldn’t seem to get the key in.
A hand clamped around her wrist from nowhere and she dropped her keys.
“Amy, damn it, wait!”
Daniel.
He was behind her, trapping her between the car and himself.
Oh God.
Her defenses were down. She was vulnerable. She couldn’t face him like this.
“Leave me alone.” She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp. Her efforts were futile.
“Calm down,” he ordered.
Calm down?
He was ordering her to calm down? She found him with another woman and
he
was ordering
her
to calm down? Rage replaced her shock.
“Let go!” She thrashed against him.
“Not until you tell me what you’re doing here.” His grip was a steel vise.
“I’m trying to go home!” she bellowed as she struggled to free herself. “But. You. Won’t. Let me.” With her free arm, she elbowed him in the ribs, hard.
“Shit!” He winced but still held tight. “That…hurt.”
“Good.” She lifted her arm to strike him again but before she could deliver another blow, he grabbed her other wrist and thrust himself forward, wedging her against the car. She couldn’t move.
“Don’t scream again,” he warned. “You’ll wake the neighbors.”
She tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, grinding her butt against him. He didn’t budge, but his response was unmistakable. His erection grew and lodged between her buttocks.
Hypocrite.
“Let. Me. Go.”
“Quit struggling, will you?” He released her wrists and grabbed her hips, stilling her efforts.
Her body screamed in awareness. The last time they were this close they made love.
“Quit holding me prisoner.”
“Just as soon as you tell me what the hell is going on. Why did you come?”
“It was a mistake,” she tossed over her shoulder. “I shouldn’t be here.” Her body was stiff, poised and ready to bolt at the slightest hint of him weakening.
“Yeah, but you are and I want to know why. What were you trying to tell me?” His voice was low and his breath tickled her neck.
Every nerve ending stood to attention. “It’s not important now.”
“Five minutes ago it was important enough for you to wake me up in the middle of the night.”
“Five minutes ago I didn’t know you were with
her
.” She immediately regretted her outburst. She’d let her guard down.
He spun her around. “Her?”
“Janine. Remember? The woman walking around half naked in your apartment?”
He dropped his hands and took a step back, muttering a few choice expletives. “You must pride yourself on your low opinion of me.”
“You don’t leave me much choice.” She was hurting and she wanted to hurt him back. Hell, she wanted to punch his lights out.
“You see a woman in my apartment and automatically assume I’m sleeping with her?” He shook his head in disgust.
“What else am I supposed to think?” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “That you’re working on your article at three in the morning?”
“Something like that.”
“‘Something like that’? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means she’s staying at my place until we finish the article.” He was shouting now. Well, not quite shouting, but his voice was much harsher than usual. “Is that such a crime?”
“It is if you’re fucking her.”
“Oh, and why is that? Because you’re jealous?” This time when he spoke, his voice was soft and much, much colder.
She glared at him, unable to think of a snappy comeback. She was jealous. Christ, she was sick with jealousy.
“You lost your right to that emotion four weeks ago.” His tone was icy.
The fight drained out of her and her shoulders sagged. What could she say? She didn’t have the right to be jealous. “Look, I’m sorry I woke you. I shouldn’t have come. Go back to Janine. I’m going home.”
He swore again. “God, you’re stubborn. You just don’t get it, do you?”
She stared at him. “Get what?”
“I’m not sleeping with her.”
Somewhere, a flicker of hope began to burn. “You’re not?”
“No!”
“Why not?” She couldn’t let it go altogether.
“
Ungh
! Why the hell do you think not?” He grabbed her shoulders and hauled her against him, forcing her face up to his. “Because I love
you
,” he bit out before crushing his lips to hers.
Her world tipped off its axis and relief washed over her. He loved her. He held her so tight she couldn’t breathe, but it didn’t matter. He loved her. His mouth assaulted hers, bruising it, but she didn’t care. He loved her.
He wrenched his lips from hers, his face inches from hers. “Wait…you still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.”
Her voice was unsteady as she answered, breathless from the ferocity of his kiss. “I…came to…tell you I love you.” It felt good to be back in his arms again. She was content to stay there for, oh, the rest of her life. “And to say I’m sorry for being such a fool and for not trusting you.”
He stared at her. “Do you trust me now?” Although his arms tightened around her, his tone was unforgiving.
“With my life. And my heart.”
“Why now? Why not weeks ago, when I told you how I felt?” The hurt she’d inflicted was evident in his voice. Her heart ached with remorse.
“I learned a few facts this morning that I never knew before.” She took a deep breath. “They helped me understand our relationship a little better. All this time I’ve been scared to get involved with you. I was convinced you’d leave me and destroy our friendship in the process. I was so wrong. If anything, I hurt you. I didn’t trust you or have enough faith to believe you would never jeopardize us.”