Picturing Perfect (22 page)

I looked around, realizing I hadn't seen Auden or Jason in a couple of songs. Part of me wondered if Jason was dancing on the stage. I could imagine him bouncing around in a bright orange wig and glow necklace. With fifty people dancing and laughing on the stage, it was impossible for me to find him, so I just enjoyed the last minute of the show.

"Tinnnnnn Roof—rusted." That was my cue. The song would be over soon. I walked back to the curtain, ready to pull it down. The baby was kicking like crazy. 80s music was obviously in his genes. I smiled, rubbing my belly as "Love Shack" faded out. As the curtain met in the center of the stage, my clients yelled, laughed and hugged. They all looked so happy, so content, and so
proud
.

"May I have everyone's attention." I heard Auden at the podium. We hadn't discussed doing a closing for the show. I was relieved she thought of it. I'd been so wrapped up in the emotions of the last number, I'd forgotten about the audience.

Jason slid up next to me, winked and pulled the curtain open before disappearing around the corner. I raised a confused eyebrow.

What is going on?

"None of this would've been possible without the hard work and dedication from a certain Activities Coordinator. Hadley, will you join us at the podium, please?"

My heart was booming in my chest as I walked on stage. Pamela was standing next to Jason. She had tears in her eyes and held a large bouquet. Behind Pamela, Jason was passing each one of my clients a single flower. Pamela took the microphone and addressed the audience, pulling me next to her, placing the flowers in my arms. As she spoke, describing how proud she was of the performance, of our dedication and hard work, Jason gave the clients a nod. One by one, they each placed a flower in my hands. Some hugged me; others planted kisses on my cheek. Bryce kissed my belly after he kissed my cheek and the crowd roared in laughter. Tears poured from my eyes. The career I had never planned on, never even imagined, had become such an enormous part of my life. And I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Oh my god.

I wet myself. I literally peed on my bed while I was sleeping. How gross.

What is this baby doing to me?

Using more effort than I'd like to admit, I pulled myself out of bed, leaning forward to anchor myself with the nightstand. A sharp pain crushed my abdomen as my belly turned rock hard.

Picking up the phone, I dialed Auden as quickly as I could without going into a panic. When she answered, I could tell she was rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I either peed myself or I'm in labor."

"What? You're not due for, like, three more weeks."

"Two. But, I think my water broke. My bed is all wet."

"Yuck," she said. I pictured her lip curling in disgust. I rolled my eyes at my best friend. "Call your mom and get your ass to the hospital."

"She works Saturday mornings. I need you to take me."

"Have you called Jason?"

"Auden!"

"Right, right, okay. I'll be there in ten. But, call Jase. He wants to be there, too. Never mind, I'll call him and pick him up on the way."

"Seriously, Auden. I need to go
now!"

Just then, my other line beeped.

"Gotta go, get over here!"

"Good morning," Jason said in a sweet tone after I switched over to his line.

"I'm in labor…I think," I said, starting to panic.

"Holy shit. I mean, okay…you sit tight. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Auden's going to leave any minute."

"Haddie, I'm on my way. Don't go
anywhere
!" The phone line clicked before I could utter another word. Quickly, I sent a text message to my mom, telling her to meet me at Lutheran General. I hopped in the shower to wash off the amniotic fluid. As I was getting dressed, I heard pounding on the door. That was fast.

"Haddie!" Bang, bang, bang went the door. "Haddie, I'm here!" Jason yelled from the hallway. His nervous demeanor was actually really cute. He was invested in me and the baby. It was a nice distraction from the intense pressure in my abdomen.

When I opened the door, his cheeks were bright red and he was wearing one of his movie t-shirts and jeans. He looked completely disheveled. His hipster glasses were slightly off kilter on his face, making him more adorable than ever before.

"Do you have your things? I already called Auden. She's meeting us there. How far apart are the contractions? Don't worry—these things usually take hours and hours. I'm sure there's plenty of time. Are you ready to go? Do you have your things?" He rambled as he took me by the arm and guided me to the door. I laughed and pointed to the small overnight bag on the kitchen table. He grabbed the bag just as I paused.

"What is it?" he asked. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Breathe, Jase. It's going to be all right. I promise." Running my hand up to his shoulder, I squeezed gently. The warmth of him radiated to me just as another contraction hit. I clutched my belly, gritting my teeth. Damn, that hurt like hell!

"How far apart did you say your contractions are?" he asked, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I didn't. I have no idea."

"Haddie, didn't you learn all this stuff? You're supposed to time the contractions. I read it in the
What to Expect
book. The farther apart they are, the more time we have."

"Right. Um…I guess they're about ten minutes apart?" I said, completely unsure of my guesstimate.

"Okay, that's good. Ten is good. We'll have plenty of time. We should go, though." He looked flustered as he ran his fingers through his hair, supporting me as we walked out of the apartment, down the outside staircase and into his car.

He drove way too fast. I knew it. He knew it. But, I didn't say a word. I knew that the quicker we got to the hospital, the more in control we'd both feel. I was terrified and that was not going to change, but I needed to know that I was surrounded by doctors and nurses who knew what they were doing. The thought of giving birth anywhere else but there gave me anxiety.

When we arrived at the hospital, Jason and I looked at one another as he took his key from the ignition. We both took a deep breath and the car was silent. A reassuring smile covered Jason's face before he took my hand in his.

"You're going to be the most incredible mother. And I just want you to go into that room knowing how much I care about you…I think you're amazing, Haddie."

He exhaled, his eyebrows raised. He looked even more terrified than he did just moments before when he was racing down the road going twenty miles over the speed limit.

I opened my mouth to respond, but Jason held his hand up. "Let's get you inside before baby boy decides to arrive here in the parking lot!"

He jumped out of the car, running around to open my door. I smiled at him with such appreciation. He really was the most beautiful person on this earth. I wanted to tell him that, but I knew he didn't want me to say anything out of guilt or obligation. I had to wait. I knew that's how it had to be.

An hour later, my contractions were closer together. My mom held my hand as Dr. Morgan checked my cervix. Dr. Myers was held up, but was on her way up from the O.R. The idea of having another doctor with me during the delivery made me super uncomfortable. This was not at all how I thought the birth would take place. I hoped Marty would wait long enough for my doctor to show.

"You're at four centimeters and progressing nicely. Have you decided on whether or not you'd like an epidural?"

"Yes," I replied, nodding emphatically. "Bring on the drugs."

Dr. Morgan chuckled as she nodded to a nurse who quickly walked out of the room. "The anesthesiologist will be here in a few. You sit tight until then, okay?"

"How ya doin'?" Auden asked, putting her cell phone down. I didn't blame her for checking Facebook while the doctor was examining me. Jason excused himself to use the washroom. Doctor checks were awkward enough without having everyone staring at me.

"Oh, just peachy keen," I said, clutching my belly with one hand just as it tightened once again. The pressure was getting so intense, I felt like I was going to throw up. I grasped onto the side of the bed with my other hand, squeezing until my knuckles turned white. My mom glanced at her watch, holding up 7 fingers. The contractions were getting closer and closer together. Mom gently pressed a cool washcloth against my forehead. It felt nice. Not as nice as I imagined the drugs would feel, but comforting just the same.

Jason walked in, following the anesthesiologist, a middle-aged man with a large smile.

"Somebody order an epidural?" he asked, holding up the needle. Jason turned and walked back out of the room. Auden threw her head back in laughter.

"Such a wimp," she said.

"Auden, will you please check on him?" I asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Mom's here. You guys can come back in when this is done."

Auden looked relieved as she walked out of the room to find her brother, whose skin turned so pale when he saw that needle, I honestly felt bad for him—even though I was the one doubled over in the fetal position. After washing my back with cold antiseptic, the doctor instructed me to lay on my side with my back curled in towards my belly. Mom held my hand as the needle was inserted in my back. It pinched and stung a little, but didn't last too long. I exhaled deeply as the anesthesiologist cleaned up his cart and walked to the nurse's station to inform Dr. Myers, who had just arrived on the labor and delivery floor. I was beyond thrilled to see my doctor.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry. I was called in for an emergency C-section and was just going into surgery when you arrived. How are you feeling?"

"Um, the needle kinda hurt and the contractions have been intense."

"You should be feeling better very soon," she said, glancing down at my chart.

My pain was gone. Completely. It was surreal, especially since it took less than fifteen minutes to feel relief. I was so comfortable that I drifted off for about an hour. I woke to the sound of Dr. Myers' voice.

"Hadley, sweetheart. You're dilated to nine. I need you to start waking up so you can push."

"Push? Now?" I asked, groggy and hazy. Jason's fingers pushed my bangs from my eyes.

"You can do this, Haddie," he said.

"I hate to do this, but there can only be two people in the delivery room when Hadley begins to push. I'm afraid one of you will have to wait outside."

"I'll go," Jason said, looking pained.

"No," I shook my head quickly from side to side. "I need you here."

Jason looked up at his sister who shrugged, walked to the side of the bed and kissed me on the forehead.

"I…I'm so sorry, Auden." I could barely get the words out. I felt terrible that my best friend had to leave. She'd always been there for me. Always.

"Stop it," she said in a stern, confident voice. She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "This is how it should be."

She pursed her lips into a gracious smile. When she got to the doorway, she turned back, "I'll be right out here if you need me. Jase, give me an update when you can."