Authors: Hannah Downing
Owen and I turned around with guilty looks on our faces.
“Sorry, we were just leaving,” Owen told her as we hurried out the door and back to the car. We laughed all the way back to Dad’s house.
***
We sat in the car, staring at the Harpers’ house. As nervous as I was, I couldn’t even imagine how Owen was feeling. I was terrified about being in the same room with my ex-in-laws, but thinking about Ellen and what she’d once meant to me helped steel my resolve. We could do this.
I unfastened my seat belt and reached over to run my fingers softly through Owen’s hair. He turned and gave me a small smile, trying to be strong.
“Let’s do this,” he said, motivating himself as much as me.
I nodded, and we got out of the car. Owen took my hand as we walked to the front door. He knew I needed support, and I loved him for it.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
I nodded. “You?”
He nodded back as we reached the door. We both took a deep breath, and I pressed the doorbell. I heard the chiming inside and footsteps approaching.
I squeezed Owen’s hand as the door opened and a smiling Ellen appeared in the doorway.
“Charlotte!” she exclaimed happily, pulling me into a hug with my arm twisted awkwardly behind me since I was still holding Owen’s hand. “And you must be Owen. It’s lovely to meet you.”
She hung our coats on the rack by the door, and we followed her to the living room.
Just like everything else in town, the house was almost exactly as I remembered it. There were a few new pieces of furniture added here and there, but everything was so familiar that I felt instantly at home, despite the stress of the situation. I had to resist the urge to kick my shoes off and lie down on the couch.
“Your house is lovely,” Owen said. I squeezed his hand again, thanking him.
“Thank you. We like it,” she said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
I was sure to Owen she seemed very pleasant, but I could see she was uncomfortable, and I wondered if this dinner was as hard for her as it was for Owen and me.
In the kitchen we found David stirring something on the stove with his back to us.
“Our guests have arrived,” Ellen said as she walked around the counter and peeked into the oven, a delicious smell filling the room.
David turned and smiled warmly at us. My mouth hung open at the sight of him, and I had to consciously think
close mouth
so I wouldn’t look like a fool.
I’d never noticed how much like his father Cameron actually was, and for a split second, I’d thought it was Cameron standing there. David’s hair was streaked with gray, and his face had a few more lines than I remembered, but his features were almost identical to his son’s.
“It’s so wonderful to see you, sweetheart,” he said as he came to hug me.
“You too, Dad,” I replied automatically, freezing us both. “Um, sorry. I mean David.”
He pulled back and held my shoulders, looking me over with sad eyes. “You look good, Charlotte…so grown up.”
He released me and turned to Owen with his hand outstretched. “And you must be Owen. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, sir,” Owen said, shaking David’s hand.
“I hope you’re taking good care of our girl here.”
“I do my best,” Owen said with an awkward smile.
“He does a great job.” I slipped one arm around Owen’s waist and rubbed his chest softly.
“Ah, well, good,” David responded stiffly.
Ellen frantically stirred whatever was on the stove as we all stood in uncomfortable silence.
“Drinks!” she shrieked suddenly, making me jump. “David, would you get everyone a drink?”
“Vodka, lime, and soda, Charlotte?”
I nodded and smiled back. “You remembered!”
He gave a quick nod before turning to Owen. “Would you like a beer or a spirit? We also have wine.”
“A beer is perfect, thanks,” Owen said as we followed David into the living room.
Owen and I sat together on the loveseat under the window, and he casually threw his arm around my shoulders. David was behind the bar mixing drinks when Ellen appeared with a platter of nuts and cheeses.
“What would you like, dear?” David asked Ellen as she sat on the sofa opposite Owen and me.
“I’ll have a glass of chardonnay,” she said as she stared at Owen’s hand on my shoulder.
“Here we go,” David said, handing Owen a bottle of beer and me a short glass garnished with a wedge of lime.
He reached over the bar and collected the other two drinks before sitting next to Ellen. I took a sip and smiled. David mixed it in exactly the proportions I liked.
“So how did you two meet?” Ellen asked sharply. She couldn’t seem to hide her disappointment about my new relationship. Tension filled the air, and I cleared my throat before I spoke.
“Owen pulled me over for speeding,” I said with a nervous laugh.
“Are you a police officer?” Ellen asked, leaning forward in her seat slightly.
Owen nodded, and David let out a warm chuckle. “I bet Michael loves that!” he said before taking a long sip of his scotch.
“He does,” Owen said, laughing along with him.
“So he showed up at my house one day and asked me out. I said no — several times, in fact — and then one night I came home late from work and Owen was standing outside my apartment in the pouring rain with a bunch of flowers. He’d been standing out there for hours, but he just waited for me.” I rubbed Owen’s thigh softly.
“I knew it would take a grand gesture to get her to notice me,” Owen said with a shrug.
I relaxed a little. He seemed to be getting more comfortable.
Ellen and David looked at us with the same expression on each of their faces: a painted-on smile of politeness. It was obvious they weren’t happy with the story of our romance. I wondered if they’d hoped Owen would be a horrible person.
I decided that for the comfort of the evening, and because I wanted to support Owen, I had to say something I was hoping could be left unsaid. I leaned forward and placed my drink on the coffee table.
“David, Ellen,” I began, taking a deep breath. “I know this is an uncomfortable situation and we’re all feeling slightly awkward, but I hope you can respect that I’m happy with Owen. I know it must’ve been painful for you to learn what happened between me and Cam, but the truth is that he hurt me.”
I stopped and looked down at my lap, fidgeting with a loose thread on the hem of my shirt, and Owen rubbed my back soothingly. When I finally looked up again, I noticed David had shifted in his seat and he and Ellen now seemed confused.
“I fell apart, and I had to put myself back together again. Owen helped me do that. I think you can both see he’s a wonderful man, and he loves me very much. Owen is in my life, and he’s here to stay. We
are
getting married, and I’m very happy with my new life.”
I stopped talking and picked up my drink, taking a long sip as I watched my ex-in-laws process my rant. Owen continued to rub soothing circles on my back while we waited for a response.
“Thank you for having the courage to say that, Charlotte,” David said. “I think we were all avoiding the elephant in the room, and now I feel like we can talk openly about it. I’ll be honest with you. This
is
hard for us, as I’m sure it is for you. You’re a daughter to us and always will be, and I can honestly say we’re happy you found someone who loves you as much as Owen obviously does. His presence in our home tonight is testament to that. We’re so sorry Cam hurt you so badly that you felt broken. We obviously don’t know the whole story about what happened back then. And I have to apologize to you, Owen, because what I’m about to say may be inappropriate, but I have to add that we wish things were different.”
Ellen wiped a tear from her cheek and nodded solemnly.
“I can appreciate that, but things aren’t different. I would love to have you both in my life again — I’ve missed you so much — but Owen is part of the package. You can’t have me without him, and if that’s not something you can accept, then we’ll leave and not come back. No hard feelings.”
I fought back tears. I now realized just how much I’d missed them and wanted them to be part of my life, even in some small way.
Ellen and David looked at each other and seemed to communicate silently. After a moment they turned back to me.
“Owen,” Ellen said, turning to face him, “you are welcome here, and we apologize if we’ve made you feel uncomfortable at all.”
Relief washed over me, and I smiled, turning to Owen.
“Thank you,” he said. “I can see how important you are to Charlotte, and I wouldn’t want her to lose you.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, sipping our drinks. I didn’t really know what to say after the big share session we’d just had. The silence was more comfortable now because everything was out in the open.
Just then we were saved by a high-pitched
ding
from the kitchen.
“Dinner’s ready,” Ellen exclaimed, sounding much more like the cheerful Ellen I remembered.
As we moved into the dining room, Ellen disappeared into the kitchen and David went to pour more drinks.
“Will you be okay if I leave you with David for a few minutes? I want to help Ellen serve the food,” I whispered in Owen’s ear.
“I’ll be fine,” he said softly. I squeezed his hand before walking into the kitchen.
“What can I do to help?”
“You can come over here at let me look at you,” Ellen said, chuckling as she held her arms out.
I moved around the counter and stood in front of her, doing a little spin.
“You look lovely. So grown up!” She looked solemn for a moment before I saw resolve in her eyes. “Can I ask you something personal, dear?”
“Yes,” I replied nervously.
“What you said in there — about being broken and Cam leaving you to pick up the pieces — what did you mean by that?”
“What has Cam told you about what happened?”
“Not a lot.”
I paused again before deciding to forge ahead. “He cheated on me. With Lucy.”
“Lucy Pearson?”
I nodded and tried to hold back the tears I could feel building. “And I left town because a few weeks after I found out about the affair, I saw them kissing in the grocery store, and it was too much for me. I knew I couldn’t stay here and see them together all over town.”
Ellen nodded, her sad look replaced by one of anger. She hugged me but didn’t say anything right away. “I’m very sorry you had to go through that,” she said finally. “We knew Cam and Lucy dated after you broke up, but we never realized she was the reason for your separation.”
“Why did you think I left?”
“We didn’t know. You wouldn’t talk to us after you moved out, and Cam had nothing to say either. After we realized you were completely gone, we asked Cam again what had happened, but he still refused to talk about it. He was in such a bad state that we didn’t want to push him. I even cornered your father in the hardware store one day, but all he’d say was that you’d built yourself a new life and we all had to move on. It’s been hard — losing you and not even knowing why,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
I nodded and wiped my eyes. “I wouldn’t have left without a good reason.”
She nodded sadly and clasped her hand in mine. “Don’t you worry. I’ll see that David fires her first thing Monday morning.”
“Fires who?”
“Lucy,” she replied, squeezing my hand. “She works for David. But not for long.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but instead stayed silent as she led me back into the dining room. I sat next to Owen, but Ellen remained in the doorway and folded her arms over her chest.
“David, can you help me in the kitchen for a moment?” she said
“Yes, dear,” David said, following her out.
“How’re you doing?” Owen asked, stroking my hand.
“I’m fine.”
He looked at me skeptically.
“I mean, it’s been an emotional night, but I’m holding up.”
Ellen and David appeared in the doorway, the strained expressions from the beginning of the evening back on their faces.
“I made your favorite, Charlotte,” Ellen said as she placed a large roasted chicken in front of us.
“It looks lovely,” I said, taking a big sniff of the warm aroma coming from the tray.
David placed a bread basket and bowl of salad on the table silently and took his seat while Ellen sliced the chicken.
“Please help yourselves,” she said with a curt smile.
I took some salad and a roll, and just as I was reaching for the plate of chicken, the sound of keys rattling came from the entryway. Ellen and David looked at each other curiously as we heard the front door open and footsteps come down the hall.
“Hey, Mom! Something smells great in here,” Cameron’s voice called out.
I froze, staring at Ellen with narrowed eyes. Had she planned this?
Chapter Six
His Silent Words
E
veryone at the dinner table sat frozen. Ellen and David stared at me, and Owen looked determinedly at his plate, his hands balled tightly at his sides and his jaw clenched. I glared at Ellen through narrowed eyes. She’d promised me Cameron wouldn’t be here tonight.
My whole body was rigid as I analyzed Ellen’s expression. Had she planned on Cameron showing up? Would she really invite him knowing Owen would be sitting right here? After I’d specifically asked her not to? I refused to believe Ellen would do something so cruel and disrespectful. The shock on her face
seemed
genuine enough, but I wasn’t sure if I trusted my own judgment.
Cameron’s footsteps grew closer, and I saw his shadow move past the doorway as he walked into the kitchen.
“Where are you?” he called. He appeared in the doorway a second later. His eyes widened as they took in the scene in front of him, and as realization set in, his features hardened into anger.
“What the hell is
he
doing here?” Cameron yelled, pointing at Owen.
“Cam, calm down,” his father warned.
Cameron’s eyes flashed, but he backed down. His gaze met mine, and it burned with an emotion I couldn’t place. I tore my eyes from his and looked at Owen. I reached over to take his hand and squeezed it, not sure if I was reassuring him or myself. Either way, he squeezed back firmly, and I felt instantly better.
“Cam, dear,” Ellen said very calmly, “we have guests right now, and I think you should leave.”
Cameron’s jaw dropped. “Are you seriously kicking me out?”
“It’s not appropriate for you to be here now,” Ellen said, anger seeping into her voice.
“I can’t fucking believe this!” Cameron exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air.
“Cameron,” David said again, more firmly this time. He stood up, his cutlery clanking loudly against his plate.
The pain on Cameron’s face was gut-wrenching, and I felt my heart soften a little, in spite of my anger. Owen’s hand in mine kept me grounded, anchored to my seat.
He wasn’t getting anywhere with his parents, so Cameron turned his attention to me. “Charlotte, can I speak to you in the living room?” he asked gently, all the anger gone from his voice.
I couldn’t help the gush of breath I exhaled at his words. “There’s nothing to say, Cameron,” I said softly, looking down at my lap, my heart racing.
I heard him sigh with frustration. “There’s
a lot
to say!”
Owen pulled his hand from mine and was on his feet, his chair skidding backward.
“You are going to back of
f
!” he said firmly in his “police” voice.
“Just butt out,” Cameron sneered back. “This is between me and my wife.” His voice held so much hatred that if I hadn’t seen his mouth moving, I wouldn’t have believed the words came from him.
“She’s not your wife anymore! Charlotte is
my
fiancée.”
“Okay, boys, let’s calm down,” David said firmly, holding his hands up.
Cameron folded his arms over his chest and glared at Owen. I could feel the tension building, and it made me very nervous. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if a fight broke out.
“Cam, please come with me.” Ellen stood stiffly, throwing her napkin on the table and heading out of the room. Cameron looked at me and begged silently with his eyes. I turned away, but watched out of the corner of my eye as he turned and followed his mother.
“Charlotte, Owen, I’m so sorry for this. I promise you Ellen and I had no idea Cameron was going to show up tonight,” David said, sitting back down and taking a sip of his drink.
“Do you want to leave?” I asked Owen.
Owen sighed and sat facing me in his seat. “It’s important for you to be here.”
But looking in his eyes, I could see how stressful this was for him. As angry as I was that Cameron was here, and as much as I wanted to lash out at him — or stay just to prove he couldn’t make me leave — Owen was my priority now. I turned to David and gave him a weak smile.
“David — ” I began, but he held his hand up to stop me.
“I understand, sweetheart. I really am sorry for this.”
We all stood up, and David held his arms out to me just as he had at the beginning of the evening. I melted into his chest as they wrapped around me. He squeezed tightly and kissed my cheek.
“It was so good to see you. Please don’t let tonight stop you from keeping in contact,” he said before releasing me to shake Owen’s hand.
I nodded, found Owen’s hand, and held it tightly as we moved toward the door. Ellen appeared at the top of the stairs and looked down at us with red eyes. She came quickly down the stairs to give me a hug.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” she asked, sniffling.
“I’m sorry. I hope you understand,” I said. “Thank you so much for the invitation.
She nodded as David came over and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
As I turned to leave, I noticed Cameron walking slowly down the stairs. I met his gaze, and his eyes burned into mine until he took the last step and stopped in the entryway with the rest of us.
My stomach did a weird flip-flop, and it was as if everyone but Cameron and I disappeared as we stared at each other. I didn’t know why he could still do that to me, but he could. Then Owen’s arm swung around my shoulder possessively, breaking me out of the spell and pulling me toward the door.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw Cameron gripping the banister so tightly his knuckles were white. He looked absolutely heartbroken. I reminded myself that I didn’t know Cameron anymore, and maybe I never had.
Owen opened the front door and ushered me outside. I turned back to say goodbye to Ellen and David and gave Cameron one last look. He mouthed something to me before Owen tugged on my hand, pulling me toward the car.
Owen opened the car door, and I sat down. I fastened my seatbelt with my mind still in the living room watching Cameron’s lips form those words. I must have read him wrong. He couldn’t have said what I thought he did.
Owen pulled out of the driveway, then looked over at me with a smile. “Thank you, but we didn’t have to leave,” he said, patting my thigh gently.
“Yes, we did. I’m sorry he upset you,” I replied, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.
“I just didn’t like the way he was speaking to you.”
“I’m sorry about David and Ellen too.”
“It’s okay.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want to like them — I had myself convinced tonight was going to be torturous. But apart from the unexpected guest, it was a nice night once we cleared the air. I think that was important for you.”
I nodded, only half-listening to what he was saying. My mind was still on the words Cameron had mouthed and the pained look on his face. Why was I so sympathetic to him? He’d broken my heart and crushed my spirit, yet one sad, puppy-dog look and all my defenses came crashing down.
“Earth to Charlotte,” Owen said.
“Huh?”
“I asked if you wanted to pick up some food since we didn’t get to eat our dinner,” he repeated.
“Oh, um, I’m not really hungry.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes…well, tonight was difficult, but I’m fine.”
“Let’s go home and talk,” he suggested, glancing over at me before returning his eyes to the road.
I thought for a moment and decided going home was a bad idea. The walls were thin, and I didn’t want to risk my dad hearing our conversation.
“Actually, I know somewhere where we can go and talk in private,” I countered. “I’d love to show it to you.”
I knew I’d feel relaxed there, and I hoped the sounds of the water would keep our talk peaceful. I gave Owen directions, and as we got closer, I felt myself calming. The town looked different in the dark than it did during the day. The usual open windows and doorways were all closed up, and although it wasn’t really late, the streets were practically empty. Owen stopped the car at the end of the street, and we walked together down to the water.
“This is amazing!” he said as he took in the view.
I flicked my hair out of my eyes as the sea air blew it around my head. The full moon reflected brightly off the water and bounced up onto the shore, giving us enough light to navigate safely over the grass to the benches near the water.
Owen’s hand wrapped around mine, and we kicked off our shoes. The grass was cool between my toes, and I took a deep breath of the fresh, salty air.
“Where shall we sit?” I asked.
“I don’t know. This is your spot,” Owen said, turning to me.
I was glad he appeared calmer now too, but I couldn’t help but wonder how he’d feel after we talked. I knew what I had to say might upset him.
We held hands and smiled as we sat cross-legged on a bench, facing each other.
“Your special place is lovely. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“I want to share everything about my life with you,” I said, smiling back at him.
Owen squeezed my hand and nodded. I slid off the bench, lying on the grass with my knees bent. Owen joined me, and we looked up at the moon and stars. One thing Fairfield had over Boston was a clear night sky — without all the city lights.
“So…” Owen started.
“So…” I echoed before letting out a long breath and readying myself for the conversation. Owen always encouraged us to have open communication in our relationship, and even though we’d been together almost three years, we’d had very few fights. We usually talked things out before they got to that point. That was a major difference between my relationship with Owen and the one I’d had with Cameron. Cam and I very rarely discussed issues as they came up, so nothing was ever resolved. I knew I could talk to Owen about this, but I was still nervous.
“How did you feel when Cameron showed up tonight? Exactly?” I asked. I thought I should understand how Owen felt before I started to talk.
“Honestly, it worried me. I can see that he still loves you, and even though I trust you and believe that you love me, that makes me nervous.”
Hearing Owen say he could tell Cameron still loved me was like having a light bulb switch on. Suddenly I couldn’t
not
see what was right in front of me: Cameron’s love.
“How did
you
feel when Cameron showed up tonight?” he prompted after I didn’t say anything.
“At first I felt angry. I wasn’t sure if Ellen had arranged for him to be there, but once I could see how genuinely surprised she and David were, I knew it was a coincidence,” I said, turning back to face him again. Taking a deep breath, I elaborated. “I felt so many things — shock, pain, worry…curiosity.”
“Can you tell me why you were feeling those things?” Owen asked, gently brushing some hair off my forehead.
I thought for a moment. I had so many thoughts running through my head it was hard to keep them all straight. “I felt shock because I didn’t expect him to be there. I was just starting to relax and enjoy the night. I felt pain because he always reminds me of my past with him and what he did to me. It was like a slap in the face, like it had all just happened — ”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Owen whispered, leaning over to kiss the tip of my nose and run his hand softly through my hair. He still looked tense, but he was comforting me, like he always did.
“I was worried about you. I knew Cameron being there must have been hard for you, and I was concerned you’d be angry with me for not just yelling at him to get out.”
“Did you want to yell at him?” Owen asked with a chuckle.
“Part of me did — and scream at him and kick him in the shins.”
“That would be the same part that slapped him last week?”
“Yes.” I gave him a sheepish smile.
“I love that part of you,” he replied, winking and returning my smile. “And the curiosity?”
“The curiosity… Well, that’s because I never really spoke to him about what happened.” I sighed loudly. “And I suppose there’s a part of me that’s curious to hear what he has to say.”
“Why didn’t you ever talk to him? I can’t believe you’d just walk away without an explanation.”
“I didn’t want to hear it,” I said, pulling blade after blade of grass. “There was nothing he could have said that would change what he did. I didn’t want to hear his explanations or excuses, and I didn’t want to be near him, so I just left.”
Owen was silent, the light-heartedness of our earlier moment gone. I watched him run his fingers through the grass softly, and after a long silence he looked me directly in the eye.
“Charlotte, are you over Cameron?” he asked, a slight tremor in his voice.
“I am,” I said firmly. “I’m just curious about what he has to say.”
We lay in silence for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, and I could feel anxiety rising in my throat. For the first time in our relationship, I’d lied to Owen. I’d just told him I was over Cameron, but I knew it wasn’t true.
If he’d asked me that question before we came back to Fairfield, I would’ve given the same answer — but it would’ve been the truth. However, seeing Cameron at the grocery store, and then again tonight, and feeling myself instinctively react to him had brought back all the emotions I thought I’d buried a long time ago. I was wrong when I thought I’d left it all behind. Now I didn’t know how I felt.
Except I did know I was in love with Owen. My feelings for him hadn’t changed at all, and that was a relief. It confirmed for me that Owen wasn’t second best — my love for him was real.
It’s just that I’d thought allowing someone else into my heart meant I’d let go of Cameron and moved on. But now I wasn’t sure whether Cameron had ever left it.
“What if he says he loves you and wants you back?” Owen asked.