Authors: Hannah Downing
Owen relaxed a little and cradled me against his chest, rocking slightly.
“We can stay inside if you’d like. Maybe go upstairs and unpack a little?”
His suggestion was tempting. Part of me wanted to run up the stairs with Owen and hide from everyone and everything, but I knew I couldn’t hide forever. If I was ever going to move on with my life and give my heart to Owen completely, I’d have to deal with how I felt about Cameron.
The warmth of Owen’s arms around me was so comforting, and his scent so familiar, that I hummed with contentment. I would do this for him.
“No, I’m fine, really. Let’s go outside,” I said, standing and holding my hand out.
“Okay, let’s do this,” he said with a chuckle, swinging his arm over my shoulder and walking with me through the kitchen.
Everyone was laughing at a story Ryan was telling, and we were able to sit down without anyone commenting on our absence.
“…and then he fell in the lake!” Ryan roared, and the group burst again into laughter.
I saw Ryan look over at me and take a long drink of his beer. I couldn’t maintain eye contact with him because his deep brown eyes reminded me too much of the ones I’d thought I knew so well.
The rest of the day was much the same: humorous stories from the men, me avoiding eye contact with Ryan, and Ryan chugging his beer much faster than anyone else. After several of my dad’s friends headed home and the sun was setting, I started to clean up some plates.
“Owen, come and have a look at my fishing equipment. A group of us are going out on the harbor tomorrow. You should join us,” Dad said happily, clapping Owen on the back as he walked out to the shed in the rear of the yard, followed by the remaining guests.
I took the stack of plates into the house and turned on the water in the sink. As it filled and I added soap, I heard the door open and prayed silently that it was one of Dad’s friends and not Ryan coming into the room.
“How are you, Charlotte?” Ryan asked. His eyes were glassy, and I frowned when he opened the fridge and helped himself to another beer. I didn’t remember Ryan ever being a drinker, but so far today I’d seen him down at least six bottles.
“I’m good, Ry, really good.” I turned off the water and leaned back on the sink.
“You look good…happy,” he said hesitantly.
I nodded and folded my arms protectively over my chest. “How are you?”
A big smile spread over his face, and he looked just like the young, playful Ryan I remembered.
“Sarah’s pregnant with our first.”
All the tension I was feeling disappeared, and I pulled the man I’d always considered a brother into my arms and hugged him as hard as I could. “Congratulations!”
He gave me the killer Harper smile in return, and I stepped back a little, feeling as if I’d been hit in the chest. I turned my back for a moment and closed my eyes so I could regain my composure.
I pictured Owen and reminded myself that I was fine, that I was loved. Slowly, when my breathing returned to normal and I began to feel a little more in control, I turned back to see Ryan staring at me, a look of concern on his face.
“Charlotte, what really happened back then?” he asked, sitting in one of the dining chairs and kicking out the one opposite him for me.
“He didn’t tell you?” I asked as I sat down.
“He gave us excuses — his side of it. I want to know what happened
from you.”
The look in his eyes was so intense and sincere that even though I
never
talked about it, never even thought about it if I could avoid doing so, I found myself telling him everything.
I explained how I’d found the text message on Christmas Eve and how much pain I’d been in during that last family Christmas. I described how hard it had been for me to move everything I owned out of our home while
he
was at his parent’s house. I talked about seeing him and Lucy together at the grocery store and our last words in the parking lot. I recounted packing up and moving to Boston in only a few days, and then how I’d met Owen and slowly put my life back together.
I watched a darkness descend on Ryan’s face as he heard about the way I left, and his expression didn’t clear as I talked about Owen. If anything, it became even darker.
“Do you love Owen?” Ryan asked — the first words he’d spoken since I started talking.
“Very much,” I said with a smile.
I didn’t know how to express to Ryan that Owen had fixed me, had made me whole again and brought me back to life. I didn’t think someone who’d never had his heart broken in that way could really understand what it was like to piece yourself back together after being shattered. Ryan would never understand the internal battle I’d waged about whether I could allow myself to feel loved again or just keep myself safe behind my emotionless wall.
“But you still love Cam,” Ryan stated firmly, not leaving any room for the alternative.
I cringed at the sound of his name. I tried to say it — and think it — as little as possible. I hesitated for a moment. I’d gone over this in my head many times, and I could honestly say I didn’t
think
I was still in love with him. I cared about him as a part of my history, but that was all I allowed myself to feel for him now.
“No, my feelings for Cam…for
him
are in the past. It’s ancient history,” I said firmly, but my hands were shaking, and I wasn’t sure if he believed me.
“Okay.”
I was grateful he wasn’t going to push the issue.
We sat in silence for a moment, both of us staring into space until Ryan let out a loud laugh and banged his fist on the table, making me jump.
“What is it?” I asked, eyes wide.
“Bonnie’s going to kill you!” he practically shouted.
“Why?”
“She’s been furious at you for five years because you wouldn’t talk to her after you split from Cam, and then you left without saying goodbye. She tried to call you, but you never returned her messages. When she finds out you’re back in town she’s going to rip your head off — literally.”
“You didn’t tell her?”
“I didn’t know until I saw you here,” he admitted.
“What did you think the barbeque was for?”
“I didn’t really think about it,” he said with a shrug. “Your dad’s had us all over before, and I just assumed it was a work get-together type thing. I swear I didn’t know you’d be here. Trust me, if my family knew you were back, Bonnie would’ve demanded to come with me tonight to see you.”
“How is she?”
“You wouldn’t recognize her. She graduated college and is working as a personal assistant in an accounting firm now. Oh, and she has a boyfriend — an accountant. They’re pretty serious, I think. She brought him home to meet my parents last weekend,” he finished with a frown.
“You don’t like him?”
“He seems like an okay guy, but he’s screwing my baby sister, so I automatically don’t like him.”
“How are David and Ellen?”
“They’re great. Dad is looking at early retirement, so all Mom can talk about is a big trip to Europe they’re planning for next spring.”
“I went to Italy last year with Owen. It was beautiful. I’m sure they’ll love it.”
Suddenly Ryan stood up, came to my side of the table, and knelt in front of me.
“Are you happy, Char? Really happy? You can tell me the truth,” he pleaded, his words slurring slightly from his intoxication.
“I’m happy,” I insisted before leaning forward to give him a hug. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He was silent for a moment after we broke the hug, staring at me as he returned to his seat. “Cam’s not happy — ” he began, but he was cut off by a group his coworkers entering the room on their way out.
“See ya, Harper. Bye, Charlotte,” they called.
“It was good to see you again,” I said with a smile and a wave, but I was shaking from what Ryan had started to tell me.
Just then arms slipped around me from behind, and I instantly felt calmer as warm lips pressed against my cheek.
“I love you,” Owen whispered in my ear.
I smiled and leaned back into him, enjoying the warmth. “Thanks, I needed that.”
“I thought you might. Are you okay?”
“I’m much better now that you’re here,” I sighed with a smile.
I turned in his arms to face him and rose on my toes so I could press my lips to his. We kissed for several seconds before Ryan cleared his throat to remind us he was standing right there.
“I’ll get you a drink,” Owen whispered as he quickly kissed me again and went over to the fridge.
I turned back around to find Ryan giving me a knowing look. I went outside to find my dad. Before I made it out the back door, I heard Ryan asking Owen to get him yet another beer.
I stepped outside, switched on the patio light, and saw Dad cleaning the grill. He smiled when he saw me.
“Hi, kiddo. It’s so good to have you home.”
“It’s good to be home.” The possibility of facing Cameron still terrified me, but the comfort of being in such a familiar place was hard to resist.
The back door opened, and Owen and Ryan came outside, carrying beers for everyone. After we managed to coax Dad away from the grill, the four of us sat around the backyard table, drinking our beers and listening to Dad regale us with stories about criminals he’d caught and ones who had gotten away.
Ryan offered to provide the lowdown on some of the Hartford boys, which seemed to please Owen. I smiled at him as a thank you for being nice, and he winked back at me. I couldn’t work out if this newfound acceptance of my fiancé was him being nice or him being intoxicated, but I appreciated it either way.
Just as I’d convinced myself to lean toward the first option, Ryan stood up and almost fell down, managing to knock his chair over in the process.
“Whoa!” he chuckled, gripping the table to stay on his feet.
Dad jumped out of his seat and held Ryan upright as Owen picked up the chair. After they’d managed to get him to sit down again, Dad said, “I think I should call Sarah to come pick you up,” and headed for the house.
I moved around the table and sat on Owen’s lap. We chatted with an increasingly disoriented Ryan until my dad came back out.
“She’ll be here in a minute,” Dad announced, helping Ryan stand and swinging his arm around his waist. “Owen, I’m gonna need your help, I think.” Dad grunted with the effort of trying to steer Ryan’s large frame.
Owen jogged up to the other side and helped support Ryan’s weight as we walked back into the house.
“
Stop!”
Ryan yelled. We looked at each other nervously, and I wondered if I was doomed to spend the night cleaning vomit off the kitchen floor.
“I want to give my baby sister a hug goodbye!”
Owen looked confused, and I could have sworn I saw Dad looking around, thinking Bonnie Harper had appeared in his house without warning. But I knew better — Ryan was talking about me.
I walked around Owen and stood in front of Ryan, who encapsulated me in his arms. “I’m so happy to see you, Charlotte,” he slurred against my collar.
“I’m happy to see you too.” I patted him on the back before pulling out of his grasp as I heard tires on gravel in the front yard.
“Sarah’s here,” I whispered to him.
I watched Owen and Dad help Ryan to the front door and then went upstairs to get ready for bed. Part of me had wanted to say hello to Sarah, but one Harper was all I could manage for today. I walked slowly up the stairs and went into my bedroom. I hadn’t fallen apart. Maybe Owen was right when he told me I could face my past.
I unzipped my suitcase and pulled my pajamas out, laying them on the bed before taking some of the clothes over to the closet to hang up. I hated ironing, and if I hung some things tonight, I might avoid it completely.
As I walked to the closet, I passed the window and glanced outside to see Owen shaking hands with someone in the shadows. I felt my blood turn icy cold as the realization hit me.
He
was outside.
I watched in horror as my fiancé’s hand slipped inside the hand of my ex-husband, grasping it tightly. I wasn’t sure if Owen realized who he was shaking hands with, but he still had a pleasant smile on his face.
I couldn’t see Cameron’s face, but I didn’t need to. I’d know him anywhere. He was thinner than the last time I saw him, and his hair was a little shorter than I remembered. Inexplicably, a part of me wanted to sprint down the stairs and run into his arms. Another part wanted to scream at him out the window. I resisted both urges and just stood frozen, watching them.
The thumping of my heart was so loud in my ears that I couldn’t hear any noises drifting upstairs, so I had no idea what was being said. My dad looked angry and kept gesturing to Cameron. Suddenly the expression on Owen’s face turned hard and then slightly sad, and I guessed he’d worked out that the man in front of him, who he’d just shaken hands with, was my ex-husband.
Cameron had his head down and was now quickly helping Ryan into the car. He said something to Owen, then climbed into the driver’s seat and sped away. I watched the taillights disappear around the corner, and when I looked down into the yard again, I saw Owen staring up at me sadly.
I tried to smile and waved for him to come up to our room, and he nodded slowly before disappearing inside. I hung the clothes up quickly, trying to calm myself after seeing Cam and mentally preparing myself for the conversation to come. I took a few deep breaths and tried to put
him
out of my mind as I put my pajamas on. I was over him and didn’t want him to affect me.
“So that was him,” Owen said from behind me.
Taking one last deep breath, I spun around. “Yes,” was all I managed to get out before my breath caught in my throat.
“Your dad doesn’t like him much,” he added as he started pulling his own clothes out of his overnight bag.
“No. He didn’t treat me very well.”
“Michael kept demanding to know why he was here and saying he’d told him he wasn’t welcome. Cameron said Sarah was tired and asked him to come instead and he was just trying to do Ryan a favor.”