Authors: Hannah Downing
“I think I’ll stay here. This is all too much excitement for me,” Sarah laughed, picking up a magazine. “Stop back and pick me up when you’re ready to go.”
“Come on, Charlotte,” Bonnie said, pulling me out the door and into the elevator.
The metal doors closed, then opened, and we exited into a hallway identical to the one outside David’s office. A similar plaque adorned the wall:
Dr. C. Harper, D.D.S
Chapter Nine
The Last Honest Smile
Cameron’s secretary looked up and smiled as we entered his office.
“Hello, Bonnie” she said. “Good to see you again.”
“Hey, Connie. Is Cam ready for me?”
“Sure, just go through to the waiting room, and he’ll will be with you shortly,” she said before looking back at her computer screen.
Bonnie and I walked through another door and entered a small, sterile room with chairs along the walls and a table covered in magazines.
“Your sister has no right to talk to me like that! What did you say to her about me?” Lucy’s voice screamed, seemingly from behind one of the exam room doors.
Bonnie and I looked at each other curiously as the voice continued. “And that
bitch
ex-wife of yours — ”
“Don’t you
ever
talk about Charlotte like that!” Cameron’s voice roared, cutting her off.
Bonnie’s lips set in a hard line, and she marched up to open the door where the screaming was coming from. She stepped inside and closed it behind her.
Bonnie’s voice joined the ruckus as I sunk down into one of the chairs and closed my eyes, trying to block out my name being yelled over and over again. I felt sick to my stomach and — more than anything — I just wanted to go home and pretend this day had never happened.
First Lucy would scream something about how I’d never really loved Cameron and he was better off without me, then Cameron and Bonnie would yell at her in a jumble of cursing. Periodically Bonnie would switch gears to yell at Cameron for being a moron and letting me go.
“Just go, Lucy, and don’t ever come back!” Cameron finally said, loud enough for me to make out clearly. The door opened, and I stiffened in my seat as Lucy appeared in the waiting room. It seemed to take her a second to realize it was me, but when she did, an evil grin appeared on her face. She sat in the chair next to mine and leaned in close.
“I’m going to tell you this because we were friends once. You can’t trust Cameron. Whatever he’s telling you, don’t believe it. He’s been chasing me the whole time you were gone. I know all about your problems — how you wouldn’t fuck him and you ignored him and basically treated him like shit. All I’m saying is you’re better off without him because instead of trying to get you back, he kept running to me for comfort. That’s not what someone who loves you does.”
I sat in silence as her words sunk in, my nausea intensifying. Cameron was chasing her? Why did he tell me he didn’t talk to her at all? I jolted in my seat as the exam room door flew open again.
“Charlotte’s
here?
Now?” Cameron asked as he stepped into the waiting room, his face softening when he saw me. The expression was short-lived, however. It turned to ice when he saw Lucy sitting next to me.
“I told you to get the fuck
out!
Now!”
Lucy stood and wiggled her hips a little as she walked over to him. I watched with disgust as she trailed a finger down his chest.
“Ooh, you know I love the dirty talk, baby,” she cooed.
“Now!” He pushed her hand from his chest and walked over to me.
Bonnie held the door open for Lucy to leave. I watched her disappear and looked at the magazines on the table so I wouldn’t have to see Cameron’s face.
“Charlotte,” he said, sitting in the chair Lucy had just vacated.
I tried to hold it all in and be strong, but all this was too much for me. My hands began to shake.
“What did she say, Charlotte?”
I shook my head and closed my eyes, trying to block him out. I felt a small hand on my back and looked up to see Bonnie standing next to me. She rubbed comforting circles on my shoulder blade, but I could tell she was agitated because her foot tapped furiously on the floor.
“Just leave her alone, Cam,” she hissed.
“Bonnie, can you wait outside, please?” Cameron asked. He was trying to be calm, but I could hear the tension in his voice.
“No way!”
“It’s okay, Bonnie. I’d like to talk to him,” I said, speaking for the first time since I entered the room. I had to ask him about what Lucy said. I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else until it was explained.
I stood up and walked into the room the others had just come out of, with Cameron following close behind.
“I’ll be right here if you need me,” Bonnie sang out before Cameron closed the door.
“What did she say to you?” he asked again as I took a seat and looked around the room.
What I’d thought was an exam room was actually Cameron’s office. He had a large mahogany desk with models of teeth lined up in front of his computer. The shelves behind the desk held rows of books, his framed diploma, and some family photographs.
I smiled when I saw the happy faces of the Harpers, but then I noticed several other frames around the room. My breath caught when I saw on his desk, only a few feet away from me, a picture of Cameron and me at the harbor. It was only half-turned toward me, but I’d know that photo anywhere: it was our wedding day. We were barefoot, and the wind blew our hair around. The sun set behind us over the water, creating beautiful colors in the ripples as we embraced. Love radiated from Cameron’s eyes, and the smile on my face wasn’t forced or fake. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled that honestly. Well, actually I could…
…“I present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Cameron Harper,” the minister had announced as I watched all of our friends and family cheer and smile at us.
Cameron’s arm wrapped tightly around my waist, and his nose rubbed against my cheek as he pressed a soft kiss just below my ear. He exhaled slowly and my skin tingled as his warm breath flowed over it.
“You’re mine. Forever,” he whispered, and my heart swelled at his words. There was nothing more in the whole world that I wanted than to be his.
Cameron guided me slowly down the aisle past our loved ones. As the large double doors of the church closed behind us, we found ourselves alone for the first time since being named husband and wife, and my whole future swam before my eyes: Cameron and me with our own home, with our children, traveling the world, with our grandchildren… Every possible event in my future life was tied to Cameron.
I smiled up at him and pressed my lips softly to his. “I love you,” I whispered.
“I will love you for the rest of my life,” he vowed…
I looked at our faces in the picture and wondered if I’d have gone through with that day, had I known the eventual outcome. I honestly couldn’t say.
“Charlotte?” Cameron called, pulling my attention away from the photo. “Please tell me what she said.”
I used all of my resolve to look at his face and into his eyes. I suspected Lucy was lying, so I needed to see his reaction. I believed I knew him well enough to tell if he was lying…although I hadn’t done so well in the past.
“Lucy said you’re still chasing her,” I said flatly, studying his face as he stood on the other side of his desk.
His eyes opened in shock, then narrowed to slits. He looked very angry. I could see his chest heaving, and he closed his eyes and scrubbed his hands over his face. His reaction seemed genuine, and I wanted to believe it was, but I couldn’t be sure.
I watched him sit in his large leather chair. He leaned forward, placing his arms on the desk.
“Charlotte, I know you don’t have any reason to trust me — in fact you have every reason
not
to trust me, but I promise you with everything I am, I have
not
been in contact with Lucy since I ended things with her five years ago.”
He looked me directly in the eye as he spoke, and I couldn’t help but believe him. I released the breath I’d been holding and nodded.
He sighed loudly and leaned back in his chair, looking as relieved as I felt. We sat in silence: Cameron watching my face and me trying my hardest not to look at our wedding picture again.
Finally, Cameron leaned forward and cleared his throat. “Have you thought at all about our conversation?”
I shook my head and Cameron frowned.
“It’s a lot to think about. I’m going to need some time.” My throat felt hoarse, dry, and a little sore. I was sure I looked as bad as I felt.
“I understand,” he said, walking around his desk to lean on the mahogany surface in front of me. “But, I
have
been thinking about it — about one thing in particular, actually — and I have a question.”
I looked up at him. “What is it?” I cleared my throat and swallowed, trying to coach my voice back to normal.
“You said something, something I’d like some clarification on,” he said, crouching down in front of me, only inches away.
Looking into his eyes was like coming home — and it unsettled me. I shifted in my chair and broke eye contact, looking down into my lap.
“What?” I whispered.
“You said you never stopped loving me…what…I mean, ugh.” He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
I knew what he was about to ask me, and my foot tapped nervously on the floor as I waited for him to finish. I looked over his shoulder, trying to focus on something else, but my eyes focused again on our wedding photo.
“What I mean to say is…do you still love me?” he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper.
My eyes were glued on my happy face. I missed that girl — how carefree she was, how happy she’d been. She was happy because of Cameron. I looked at the Cameron in the photo and saw the expression of love on his face. I chanced a glance at the Cameron in front of me now and was startled to see that same love in his eyes. His expression was sad, but the love was still there.
I knew in that moment I did still love Cameron, and I would never stop loving him, no matter what he did or said or how much he hurt me. I closed my eyes and nodded slightly.
“I love you too,” he whispered, his thumb brushing the tears from my cheek. I jumped back from him, startled.
“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hand back quickly.
I could see the smile he was trying to hide, and his happiness at my declaration annoyed me.
“Nothing has changed, Cameron. I’m still with Owen, and I’ll stay with him.”
His smile fell slightly, and his eyes pierced into mine. “Do you love him?
Really
love him?”
I wanted to jump from my seat and scream that I loved Owen and always would and that Cameron didn’t matter, but I knew that wasn’t true. I did love Owen, absolutely, but it was different. Cameron was my first love. What I felt for him was eternal, was all-consuming, and despite what we’d been through, the flame was still burning. But Owen was safe. He was respectful, grounding, and supportive. Owen was better for me.
And Cameron needed to know I loved Owen, so I nodded in answer to his question. “But not like I love you,” I blurted. The words were out of my mouth before I’d even thought them, and I clamped my hands over my mouth in shock.
Cameron’s eyes darkened, and as if in slow motion, his face moved toward mine. His hands came up slowly and cupped my face, tilting it slightly to the side. My hand fell away from my mouth as his face got closer, and I watched, frozen, as his eyes closed. He was going to kiss me.
Alarm bells sounded in my brain, and just before his lips reached mine I pushed back from him, my chair skidding along the floor.
“Don’t,” I said.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I could see he was hurt, but my devotion to Owen kept me from comforting him.
“It’s just all so much. I can’t deal with this right now,” I said, backing toward the door. I was completely overwhelmed by the past twenty-four hours.
“Don’t run…
please
,” he begged as he took a step toward me. “You always run.”
“Bonnie’s waiting for me.” It was all I could think to say as my hand grasped the doorknob.
I heard Cameron sigh as I walked back out into the waiting room. Bonnie looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” I said quickly, walking to the door.
“I just want to talk to Cam. I haven’t gotten to say my piece yet. I won’t be long.”
“Just leave him alone, Bonnie. It’s been a long day for all of us.”
I was relieved when she nodded and grudgingly followed me out. My mind started racing as soon as I was free of his office. I was angry that he’d tried to kiss me, but I
had
just told him I loved him. I groaned and shook my head. Everything was so muddled. I couldn’t blame Cameron for being confused about my twisted messages. I really had to sort myself out before I spoke to him again.
We rode the elevator down in silence and got out at David’s office. When we walked in, Sarah was still sitting and reading her magazine.
“How did it go?” she asked when she saw us.
“The skank was there!” Bonnie told her, eyes wide. “But we got rid of her.”
“Did you slap her again, Charlotte?” Sarah said, giggling.
“No.” I wasn’t really listening — I couldn’t get the picture of Cameron’s face as he tried to kiss me out of my mind.
Sarah stood and covered her mouth as she yawned. “That bitch. I can’t believe she was with him.”
I shook my head, unable to come up with a response. I was just ready to go home.
“Why don’t you take Sarah home?” Ellen called from the desk. “She’s looking pretty tired.”
We said our goodbyes to Ellen, and I followed Sarah and Bonnie out to the car, helping Sarah into the front seat again before climbing into the back. Bonnie drove us to Ryan and Sarah’s house and dropped her off before turning around and driving back to town.
“Will you come over? We haven’t even had lunch. We can grab some take out on the way,” she asked without taking her eyes off the road.
I really just wanted to go home, but it was three o’clock already, and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Besides that, Dad wouldn’t be home for a few hours, and if I was left alone, my brain would go into overdrive. The last thing I wanted to do was dwell on the almost-kiss with my ex-husband. Spending the afternoon with Bonnie would be a good distraction.