Pig City (12 page)

“May I see the note I gave you?” she asked.

He handed it to her. She looked at it quickly, then put it in her pocket.

“As I said, if we're not careful, we might all get in
trouble. Therefore, I think it's important for both clubs that the terms of surrender be fair and reasonable.”

Jonathan smiled. He had an evil gleam in his eye. “We won't demand too much from you,” he said. “Maybe you'll have to be our slaves for a day.”

“That's a possibility,” said Laura. “First, I want to make one thing clear. As president of Pig City, I have the power to agree to terms with you, and the rest of Pig City will have to do what I say. Do you have the same power?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this works both ways,” said Laura. “Will the other members of Monkey Town automatically agree to whatever you say?”

Jonathan thought a moment. “Well, as you know, I didn't tell anybody about this meeting. You said to keep it confidential. So we didn't discuss what power I had.”

Laura sighed disgustedly. “Are you the president of Monkey Town or aren't you?” she demanded.

Jonathan looked up and down and from side to side. “Well, yes, sort of. I'm not actually the president of Monkey Town,” he admitted. “But that doesn't matter. I –”

“You're not?” questioned Laura. “Who is?”

“Gabriel.”

“Gabriel!” Laura exploded. “Gabriel tells
you
what
to do? Gabriel orders you around?”

“Well, he doesn't
order
me … I mean, we're all pretty equal.”

“
Gabriel
!” she repeated. “I just assumed …” She shook her head. “… I'm sorry, but I can only surrender to the president of Monkey Town.”

“It doesn't really matter who the president is,” said Jonathan.

“It does to me,” said Laura. “
Gabriel
! What a joke!” She forced a laugh. “How did he ever get to be president over you? Was there a vote?”

“No. He started the club so –”

“You should demand a vote,” she told him. “You know you're better than Gabriel. If they don't make you president, you should start your own club. Lion's Den! That's more like you, anyway. Gabriel's a monkey. You're a lion!”

“Well, maybe. I don't know,” said Jonathan.

“I do,” said Laura as she hopped off the swing. “I know I'm not going to surrender now, now that you've said Gabriel is president! What a joke!” She walked away, swishing her long hair behind her.

She hadn't lied. She wasn't going to surrender
now
. Of course she wasn't going to surrender
before
, either. Her plan was the same as it had always been:
Divide
and
Conquer
!

She knew that Gabriel was president of Monkey Town. He had told her that when he had tried to trick her into agreeing to a truce. But it isn't a lie to ask a question, even if you already know the answer.

She brushed back her hair and put on her cap.

The citizens of Monkey Town argued with each other all during lunch. Gabriel, Sheila, Karen, and Howard were on one side. Jonathan, Yolanda, and Howard were on the other.

Howard agreed with everything anybody said.

Jonathan told them that if he was president, Pig City would have surrendered already. “They'd have to do whatever we ordered them to do,” he stated. “Laura was begging for mercy until she found out
Gabriel
was president.”

“You said she gave you a note,” said Karen, peeling an orange. “Let's see it.”

“She took the note back.”

“Without the note, you have no proof,” said Sheila.

“He doesn't need proof,” said Yolanda.

“Jonathan wouldn't lie,” Howard agreed.

“Why would she want the note back?” asked Sheila. “If she was going to surrender anyway?”

“I'll tell you why,” said Gabriel. “She probably said
everything Jonathan said she said, but Laura's a stinking liar. She wants us to fight with each other, just like we're doing. She tricked you, Jonathan, just like she once tricked me. She made a fool out of you, too.”

“You're the fool, Gabriel, not me,” said Jonathan.

“Laura would never surrender,” said Karen.

“If Jonathan was president, she would,” said Yolanda.

“They'd be our slaves,” said Jonathan.

“Then why won't she surrender to Gabriel?” asked Sheila.

“Because Gabriel's a joke,” said Jonathan.

“Hey!” said Gabriel.

“That's what Laura said,” said Jonathan. “I didn't say it.”

“Okay,” said Gabriel.

“But it's true,” Jonathan added.

“Gabriel started the club,” said Karen. “He led the attack on their clubhouse!”

“You've done a great job so far, Gabe,” Howard agreed. “That's why Laura wants to surrender, because of what you've done.”

“Gabriel's done okay,” Jonathan admitted. “I could have done better, but …” He shrugged. “The important thing is Laura won't surrender so long as Gabriel's president.”

“She'll never surrender, anyway,” said Karen.

“Gabriel's our president,” said Sheila.

“We never voted,” said Yolanda.

They voted. Gabriel won four to three. Howard voted twice.

Jonathan quit. “I don't take orders from Gabriel!” he asserted. “I'm starting a new club – Eagle's Nest!” He and Yolanda walked away, hand in hand.

Howard ran after them. “Let me join Eagle's Nest, too, Jonathan? Gabriel's a fool!”

“You voted for him, Howard,” said Yolanda.

“I voted harder for Jonathan.”

“Sorry, Howard,” said Jonathan. “You're not good enough to be in Eagle's Nest.”

Howard returned to Monkey Town. He stuck his thumb in his ear and wiggled his fingers. “Boy, Jonathan and Yolanda are so conceited,” he said. “We're better off without them. I never believed Laura wrote him a note.”

“Get lost, traitor,” said Karen.

“I didn't want to join Eagle's Nest.” Howard tried to explain. “I was going to spy on them for you guys.”

Sheila snorted.

“'Bye, Howard,” Gabriel said coldly.

Laura folded her arms in front of her. “What do you
want?” she asked.

“Can I join Pig City?” asked Howard.

It was still lunchtime. Everyone, except Aaron, had finished eating.

Howard told them all about Monkey Town's civil war. He said he didn't want to join either Monkey Town or Eagle's Nest. He said he wanted to be a member of Pig City!

They questioned him until he told them everything he knew about the two clubs. He showed them the secret Monkey Town salute.

Laura thought it was the silliest thing she'd ever seen.

“So when can I join Pig City?” he asked.

Laura decided he had no more useful information. “Never,” she said.

“Kiss off,” said Debbie.

Everyone put their thumbs in their ears and wiggled their fingers at him.

He sadly walked away.

“We should've told him he could join,” said Tiffany. “Then we could have taken him to the clubhouse and mustardized him!”

They all laughed.

“Howard's not worth it,” said Laura. “I'm saving my mustard for Gabriel.”

“Let's cut off all her hair,” suggested Sheila.

“What?” asked Gabriel. “Are you crazy?”

“You have any better suggestions?” Sheila asked.

Gabriel sadly shook his head. There was nothing to do. He was out of ideas.

“Uh-oh, here they come,” said Karen.

“Just ignore them,” said Sheila.

They headed home. Pig City followed and sang:

“
Laura Sibbie went to class,

Her hair was long and pretty.

Stuck a feather in her cap,

And called it Pig City!

Pig City is the best!

Monkey Town is mustard!

They're uglier than Mr. West,

And mushier than custard!”

“One more time!” shouted Kristin.

After having to listen to the song three more times, Gabriel, Karen, and Sheila finally were left alone.

“I have a plan so we'd never get caught,” said Sheila.

“Who's Mr. West?” asked Karen.

“What? Who?” asked Gabriel.

Karen sang: “‘They're ug-li-er than Mr. West.'” She spoke: “So, who's Mr. West?”

“I don't know,” said Gabriel, “and I don't care.”

“Don't you two know anything?” asked Sheila. “Mr. West owns the computer store in the mall. He sold us our home computer.”

“Is he ugly?” asked Karen.

“Ughh, he's gross,” said Sheila.

“Let's go to the mall!” urged Karen. “I want to see him.”

“Look, do you want to hear my plan or not?” asked Sheila.

“What plan?” asked Gabriel.

“Okay, Laura has to walk to school alone, so she can get there early to write on the board, right? On her way, she walks past the Hollow Creek apartment complex. There's a short brick wall that separates the apartment complex from the sidewalk. We can hide behind that. Then when Laura walks by, we can reach over the wall and cut off her hair. She won't even feel it. She'll just keep on walking to school while her hair
remains in a lump on the sidewalk behind her.”

Gabriel and Karen stared at her, eyes wide.

Sheila continued. “She won't know anything is wrong until she sees herself in a mirror! And she'll never know how it happened. She'll wonder about it her whole life, until she's old and gray. ‘Her hair was long and pretty,'” she said snidely. “You know Laura wrote that song. She's so vain. I know I wouldn't want hair like hers. I'd have to wash it every day. Laura never washes it. That's why it's so smelly and matted.”

“You're bonkers!” said Karen.

“No, wait! I got a better idea!” Sheila exclaimed. “After she walks away, we can pick up her hair and then put it in Jonathan's desk. He'll get blamed for it. We'll get Pig City and Eagle's Nest at the same time! It's perfect.”

Gabriel didn't think so.

“What's wrong with it?” Sheila demanded.

“It isn't …” said Gabriel. He tried to find the right word. “It's not … nice.”

“Nice?” asked Sheila. “
Nice
? You're sick!”

“I mean,” Gabriel tried to explain. “You know, breaking pencils is one thing, but cutting off her hair? That's cruel. We're all going to graduate in two weeks. Why be mean?”

“I should have voted for Jonathan,” said Sheila.
“‘
It's not nice,'
” she said mockingly. She snorted, then stormed away.

Gabriel and Karen took turns kicking a rock as they continued walking.

“Thanks for voting for me,” said Gabriel. “I know you and Yolanda are best friends.”

“You started the club,” said Karen. “And you were the one who led the attack against Pig City. And,” she smiled, “you're nice.”

“‘Yankee Doodle' used to be my favorite song,” Gabriel said sadly.

Laura and her friends helped her mother carry nine bags of groceries in from the car. They set them down on the kitchen counter.

“Did you buy any mustard?” Laura asked.

“As a matter of fact I did,” said her mother. “I know how much you and your friends all like it, so I bought two big jars. That ought to last you a –”

“Thanks!” said Laura. She found the sack with the mustard and handed one jar to Tiffany and one to Kristin.

“Yeah, thanks, Mrs. Sibbie,” said Tiffany.

They all thanked her. Allison took several spoons out of the silverware drawer.

Laura told everybody to wait for her out front, then she went into her room. She got Gabriel's shirt with her footprint on it out from the bottom of her sweater drawer. She got something else, too. It was the note he had put in her desk a long, long, long time ago.

Hey Laura,

I know all about Pig City. If you don't kiss me I will tell the whole school. You have ugly hair.

Your humble servant,

Gabriel

She stuck the note in her back pocket, then joined her friends out front.

They went to Gabriel's house.

Laura walked to the front door carrying his shirt. Everyone else hid behind a car parked in the driveway next door. She rang the doorbell.

Gabriel opened the door.

“I came to return your shirt,” said Laura.

He stared at her.

She stepped back, off the front stoop.

Gabriel stepped out of the house, onto the stoop.

“First, I want to show you something,” said Laura. She took another step back, then took the note out of her back pocket.

“What's that?” he asked.

“The note you wrote me,” she said. “I just want to prove to you that I know you're the liar.”

Gabriel put his hands on his hips and sighed disgustedly.

“Do you want to see it or not?” she asked. She
turned her back on him and stepped out onto the lawn, swishing her hair behind her.

He stepped off the stoop. “I already know what it says.”

“Then you admit you lied.”

“Let me see it.”

She held out her hand. He walked to her and took the note from her. He stepped back to read it, still on the front lawn.

Of course it said exactly what Laura said it said. Gabriel knew it would. It was so obvious that she had changed it. He could even see the eraser marks.

As he was reading the note, Tiffany sneaked out from behind the car and knelt down behind him.

He looked up. “Surprise, surprise,” he said sarcastically. “I guess I was lying all along.”