Pirate Princess (38 page)

I laughed and he wiped my face with his sleeve. “Thank you.”

“It happens to us all,” he told me.

“How do you overcome it?” I asked.

He sighed. “Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you just shove it down as far as it will go and continue with what is left of your life. Other times you find someone who takes away the pain by giving you their heart to hold and simultaneously repairing your damaged one.”

“I don’t think I can do it again,” I told him.

“You’re young, Tilia. You’re resilient and one of the strongest people I know. In time you will see that you can defeat this as easily as you defeat Esmeralda in the arena.”

“I heard that!” she yelled as she entered the arena. She saw us and her anger dissipated. She bent down to her knees and kissed my forehead. “We could make you a purse from his…”

“Esmeralda!” Jared yelled in shock.

She smirked and I laughed. The first laughs since him.

Esmeralda’s face turned grim and she said, “I have some news.”

“Go on,” I told her.

“The Trians have begun seeking out and destroying ships and any known pirate controlled towns. They destroyed Captain Sisko and his crew and sank his ship,” she said.

Sisko was dead? It didn’t bother me that he was dead, just that it could be my father next. “Sisko wasn’t a friend,” I told her, “But thank you for letting me know.”

“Also, we’re hosting a ball tomorrow and a friend of yours is coming,” She said with a smile.

“Which friend?” I asked neutrally.

“Eric.”

I had seen him last while on Finn’s ship. “Well, it has been quite a while since his family visited,” I said.

“His family isn’t coming, just him.”

Odd. “So, what is the ball in celebration of?” I asked.

“My birthday,” Jared said.

I looked at him and felt terrible. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I haven’t really paid attention to the dates or…”

He set his hand on my shoulder and said, “It’s alright, Tilia. You’re here with us and that is the greatest gift I could have received.”

“He was being such a grouch about planning it when we thought you would be…away.”

They were trying to avoid the reason for why I would have been away which I appreciated. “Well, I guess I had better pick out a dress.”

“And absolutely no sneaking off tomorrow,” Jared ordered Esmeralda and me.

“But Jared,” she complained, “They’re so long and boring and…”

“You’re making me attend and so you have to stay by my side the
entire
night,” he ordered her. “And you must stay in the ballroom or I’ll make you start your lessons with Faxon again.”

I grimaced. “Okay. No need to threaten me.”

“I told you he was a grouch.”

“Who wouldn’t be when having to deal with two frustrating women who can’t seem to do what they are told?” Jared exclaimed.

“Why don’t you go wash up and we can decide on a dress together?” Esmeralda suggested, completely ignoring Jared’s comment.

We did as she suggested and it almost felt normal. It almost felt right again. Maybe Jared was right and I could move on from this. The next morning the castle was bustling with activity as everyone prepared for the ball and celebration of the King’s birthday. I stood in my room staring at the things I owned and tried to decide what I wanted to do for Jared. I did not have time to buy him something, but I had an idea for a gift that would mean more emotionally to him than any gift I purchased with money. I wrapped it in a box and went down to the dining hall to eat lunch. Faxon, Esmeralda, and Jared were arguing quietly, but fiercely with each other, all of their brows furrowed and hand gestures flying wildly.

“What has you three in a tizzy?” I asked them and took a bite from an apple.

“Political trash you would be bored to hear about,” Faxon said before Esmeralda could speak. She snapped her mouth shut and glared at him.

“I appreciate you sparing me from that discussion,” I said and smiled at him.

“Are you excited for tonight?” Esmeralda asked Jared to change the subject.

“Ecstatic,” he said apathetically.

“You should be excited,” I said around a bite of apple, “I got you the most amazing gift anyone has ever given a king in at least a century.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Jared said, “I already told you that you being here was gift enough.”

“When did you have time to get him something?” Esmeralda asked.

I winked. “I have my ways.”

“I need to go check on the preparations,” Esmeralda said, “I’ll see you all tonight.”

As soon as the door shut behind her Jared leaned forward on the table towards me. “You seem better?”

I shrugged. “Not really, but it is easier to put the mask on today than it has been.”

He nodded his head. “Feel free to ask for a sparring with me again anytime. You actually surprised me with your increased fighting abilities,” he said.

I hadn’t noticed that I had improved. “We should start lessons again,” Faxon said to me. “If your magic has grown enough for…you know, then we need to work on your control and test your limitations so you are better able to use your magic and protect yourself.”

“Can’t it wait just another week?” I asked. “I practice at night in my room so I’m not completely ignoring it.”

Jared smirked at me and said, “One more week, Faxon. Let the girl relax.”

“Alright,” he said with a sigh. “It’s always been hard to say no to you anyways.”

“That’s because I’m so sweet and lovable,” I said. As soon as I said “lovable” I felt a punch in my stomach. If I was so lovable than why hadn’t it been enough to make Finn want me by his side?

“You should head off to get ready,” Jared said with knowing eyes. “It always takes you women a very long time to get your hair and makeup done.”

I stood and left the room without another word. How could one word ruin an otherwise good day? One thought and I was back to depression.

I shoved the feelings down, pulled my shroud of numbness back on, slapped a smile on my face, and went about my preparations. The guests began arriving, music started playing, and Faxon escorted me into the ballroom. There were way more people here than had been at my party, but that was to be expected since mine was last minute and Jared was the King. I stood on the edge of the ballroom and watched the dancers while trying to keep a numb feeling about me and not trying to recall the last ball I had attended.

A warm hand grabbed mine and suddenly I was twirling into the mass of dancing people. I looked up and Eric smiled down at me. “I owed you a dance,” he said as if that explained it.

I smiled back at him, but it was forced since my recollection of him also brought about thoughts of Finn. He spun me around and danced ridiculously until I couldn’t help but laugh and smile at his silliness. We danced until my feet hurt and then he took my hand and we escaped out the front doors of the castle. I leaned against the staircase railing and breathed in the crisp night air.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“My term with the King’s Steel is finished. I’m a free man now,” he said happily.

“What are your plans now, retired commander?” I teased.

“I am actually going to return to Blith and explore the kingdom I was born in. I prefer it here, but I feel I should give it another chance now that I am older.”

“I’m sure that will make your mother very happy,” I said.

“I didn’t think you would be here,” he said, “I thought you were going to be gone for a full year.”

“Things changed,” I said softly and looked down. Lives changed. Hearts changed.

“I take it things didn’t work out like you had hoped?” he asked, moving closer to me.

I took a shaky breath and said, “I was a fool and acted immaturely. Now I’m paying for that mistake.” A mistake I would not make again.

“We all make mistakes and just have to learn from them.”

“I’ve definitely learned,” I mumbled.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Can you go back in time and warn me not to act on my wishes?”

He hugged me and said, “Every event is a learning tool. Everything we do and experience makes us who we are. You’ll come out of this better than ever.”

“I wish I was optimistic like you,” I whispered.

He stepped back from me and said, “I know! Why don’t you come to Blith with me?”

“Eric,” I started.

“Just as friends of course. I visited your kingdom, but you have yet to visit mine. The journey is short and you can return to Crilan any time you wish. What do you say?” He smiled sweetly at me and I felt myself pulled into the charisma of his attitude.

“I have to talk with my family,” I said softly.

“I know, but you have to consider it first before I talk to them about the possibility,” he reminded me.

It would be nice to get away from their sad eyes. In Blith no one knew what had happened and I could ease into my act of normalcy even faster. “Okay,” I said, “I will go if they okay it.”

He picked me up in a hug and spun me around. “Great! Now I don’t have to face my mother alone and she’ll have to be diplomatic with you there and smile and play nice.”

“I knew there was a catch,” I said with a sigh, “and to think I assumed you might want me to go so we could be friends.”

“Of course that’s why,” he said. “How dare you assume I’m not a gentleman?”

We headed back inside while he rambled off some of the places he wanted to visit. “It’s time for gifts,” one of the guards informed me.

“Thanks,” I said, ran to my room to grab the gift, and ran back down to the ballroom where everyone was gathered.

I got in line behind some of the others who were waiting and tried not to look bored and impatient. It was finally my turn, what seemed an eternity later and Jared looked at me in shock. “You didn’t have to stand in line,” he told me softly.

“I like to follow protocol every now and then,” I whispered with a smile.

“What have you brought for the King?” Esmeralda asked loudly for the crowd. These things were always show offs and eccentric.

I handed him the box, which he opened and I said, “I’ve brought you the mask of Jax, the female pirate captain.” The crowd erupted into loud shocked discussion and it took a minute to quiet them down. “Her death was sudden and she was young, but that is a pirate’s life,” I told them.

“Tilia,” Jared said, “I don’t know what to…”

“Jax is dead,” I reiterated, “and you have the mask as proof.”

I wasn’t going to put my family in harm’s way anymore. I couldn’t risk them just for a childish dream of following in my father’s footsteps. Especially now that Trian had a vendetta against all pirates. Even if I wanted to be a pirate still, I knew that I could not do it without Finn.

Jared hugged me and whispered, “We love you no matter what path you choose.”

I kissed his cheek and then walked to Esmeralda who looked like she was about to cry. “Can I talk to you?” I asked her.

She followed me outside the ballroom and I said, “I know I just came back, but Eric has invited me to go to Blith with him and I think it might be good for me to, um, be away from things that remind me of recent events and people.”

She smiled and said, “I think it is a fantastic idea. You haven’t visited any other kingdom and it’s good for a princess to see her neighbors and learn about their customs and differences.”

“Really? No fighting or arguing or extensive convincing?” I asked in shock.

She laughed. “I’m not always unreasonable.” She grew somber and said, “And I know it can be hard to move on with reminders pestering you every day. As much as I would prefer to keep you here with me, I think a journey to someplace safe and new is a perfect thing for you at this stage in your life.”

“Thank you,” I said honestly and hugged her.

“So, did you ask her yet?” Eric asked as he walked towards us.

“I have given her permission to explore Blith with you, but she must go as an official royal visitor to ensure her safety,” she said.

“Not a problem,” he assured her.

“How long will you be gone?” she asked.

“Well, I told her she could return whenever she wanted since our kingdoms are so close together, but I plan to explore Blith for a month,” he said, “I can alter my plans as she needs or at your request.”

She nodded her head. “Alright. If it were any other kingdom I wouldn’t allow her to go without one of us to escort her, but our kingdoms have been allies for long enough that I doubt anything will happen with her or that yours would try to use her to hurt us. I actually like your King and Queen very much.”

“They are very kind monarchs,” he said in agreement.

“You’ll be her guard?” she asked him.

He nodded his head. “Of course.”

“Are you trying to sneak off already?” Jared asked from the ballroom doorway.

“No, dear,” Esmeralda said with a sigh, “Although I wish we had.”

He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. “You’re my partner in battle whether it’s fighting enemies or dealing with social situations.”

She smiled. “Can’t we start a war instead?”

He tapped the tip of her nose with his finger. “No. No more wars unless someone else starts it.”

“Damn these people and their peace,” she muttered.

“Don’t worry,” I assured Eric, “They are very happy with the kingdoms being at peace. They just miss battles and the thrill of the fight.”

“Who doesn’t?” he said with a smile.

“So, when are you leaving?” I asked him.

“Tomorrow was my original plan, but if you need me to wait a bit longer I’m sure I can borrow a room here.”

“No, tomorrow is fine. It won’t take me long to pack.” The sooner I left the better.

“Great. Well, there’s still lots of time and I think you owe me at least two more dances for all of the times you beat me up.”

“I bet I could still beat you up,” I joked with him.

“We can test that at a later date. Tonight I will dance with the most beautiful woman in all of the kingdoms,” he said, taking my hand and pulling me into the ballroom.

“I don’t think Jared is going to let you dance with Esmeralda,” I told him.

He looked at me with a smirk and said, “I wasn’t talking about Esmeralda.”