Please Don't Tell (15 page)

             
I shot him the meanest knock it off look I could give.  Austin hated that word. Even at ten he had a complex about his height. He’d been the smallest kid in his class since kindergarten. Our family was not blessed with the tall gene, my father was only five nine and my mother was five-five. We’re doomed to be short. Which is fine for a girl, but for a boy...not so much.

             
I shrugged at Jason relieved to be able to walk out of the room with my virginity still intact. “Where’s Ethan?” Austin asked.

             
Austin followed me into the kitchen and grabbed a box of hot chocolate from the pantry.  “I don’t know where Ethan is.”

             
Austin pulled a dish cloth off the counter and rubbed in against his wet head attempting to dry it. “What were you two doing in there anyway? You know mom’s rule.”

             
“We were just studying.”

             
He rolled his eyes and laughed out loud. “Whatever, he’s such a dick.”

             
“He is not and you know you’re not allowed to say that word. Mom would definitely ground you for that one.”

             
“Would not.”

             
“Would to.”

             
“Would not.”

             
I had to end it. That was the thing with Austin he could go on and on forever debating who was right and who was wrong.

             
“Okay, fine. Maybe not for that one, but be nice,” I said.

             
Jason came in five minutes later as I was setting a frozen pizza on a baking sheet, with his keys in his hand. “I’m gonna bounce, Soph.”

             
I walked toward him until I was only a few inches away. Nervously, I played with the ends of my hair.  Jason met my steps and kissed me on my cheek and I whispered, “Sorry about tonight.”

             
He’d gave me a half smile. “Me too.”

             
I should have broken up with him right then, but I didn’t. Two hours went by and still no sign of Ethan. I couldn’t imagine where he could have gone.  He couldn’t drive in the states and my car was still parked in the driveway. He hadn’t been picked up, had he? Did he call someone? Was he was with Heather?  After Austin went to bed, I was settled in front of the television with a huge bowl of popcorn and Pixie curled up into a ball at my feet. A half hour into my movie he walked in. Or, should I say stumbled in. I glanced over into the foyer to see if he was alone or even all right.  “Hey,” I yelled out.

             
He stomped the snow off his boots on the foyer carpet then pulled them off. He looked up, glancing all around.

             
I patted the seat next to me. “Feel like watching TV?”

             
He shrugged his coat off and hung it back up. “Where’s Jason?”

             
“He went home hours ago.”

             
“All right then, I’ll be right back,” he said. He removed his hat and tossed it over the peg with his coat.

             
When he returned ten minutes later he was dressed in sweats and a T-shirt and his hair was wet and tousled. He sunk into the seat and grabbed a corner of the blanket. “You could at least share,” he teased. He was close enough that when he adjusted his position, the scent of Dove soap came off his skin.

             
I yanked it back and said, “It’s not a two person blanket.”

             
Ethan pulled the blanket harder. “It could be.”

             
I jerked my head back. “Ick, where were you?”

             
“Went for a walk. Why?”

             
“You reek like alcohol. That’s why.”

             
“There’s plenty left in my coat pocket.” His one eyebrow arched up and I noticed his eyes were glassy. “Do you fancy some?”

             
“I told you before I don’t really like to.”

             
“Ah, yes, I remember. The whole Sophie likes to maintain control of herself speech.”

             
I ignored him, because it was obvious he had a little too much to drink. I turned and drew the blanket up to my chin and focused on the movie. There was just something I loved about the Sure Thing. Yeah, it was one of my go to 80’s movies, but how could you not fall in love with John Cusack?

             
“If I asked you a question, would you be honest?”

             
I picked Pixie up and snuggled her against my chest. “Depends on the question.”

             
“Sophie?” He said, exasperated.

             
“What?”

             
“What the hell do you see in him? Jason, I mean.”

             
It took me several minutes to think of something. And, when I thought I had the answer, I didn’t want to say it. Besides, why did he want to know about Jason? He had Heather. “Truth?”

             
“Of course.” He smiled and bent over while he took his socks off then stuffed his feet under the blanket.

             
“I don’t really know what I see in him.”

             
“Why the hell are you even with him then? What could you possibly be thinking?”

             
“That’s two questions. You said you had only one.”

             
“Look, Sophie how about we try something?” He said. “Everyday you get one question and I get one...brutal honesty needed on both sides.

             
“Sure. My turn,” I said. “Where did you get the alcohol?”

             
He grimaced. “That’s your question for the day?”

             
“Yep.”

             
“Fake I.D. and I bought some the other day. I keep it hidden in my room in a flask that my Dad had given me for my sixteenth birthday.”

             
“You seem to drink a lot. How come?”

             
“That’s two. I plead the fifth.”

             
I couldn’t argue with that one. I did not like talking about death and I knew he hated talking about his father. “Can I please finish watching John and Daphne now?”

             
“Who are John and Daphne?”

             
I scooped up the remote and hit rewind. “I am going to let you into my 80’s world. You’re going to love this.”

             
Throughout the movie he barely moved. An occasional twitch or shift of his body, but that was it. I appreciated that not only did he stay silent letting me enjoy every word, he laughed and smiled at all the right places. He enjoyed it just like I thought he would. Not like when Jason and I would watch a movie together. His hands would be all over me. His lips constantly trying to pull my eyes away from the movie.  Val and I would spend nights alone watching one after the other. Sometimes, we would go through an entire box of tissues in one night. Here we were just the two of us as his knees pressed up to mine, sitting so close it made it hard for me to breathe.

             
He grabbed the remote and hit pause. “I have another question.”

             
Twisting my body to face his I said, “You’ve already asked a question. Let’s just watch the movie. You don’t want to start breaking your own rules already, do you?”  I wasn’t sure I was ready for the question he wanted to ask after the last one. Worse, I wasn’t sure if I could be brutally honest if he were to ask me how I felt about him. Not that he was going to, I mean maybe it would be something so simple as what’s your favorite color, or something like that.

             
Ethan turned his face toward mine and said, “Another time then.”

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 16

             
The past two weeks with Jason had been totally weird. And, oddly enough never better with Ethan.  So I was surprised when Jason approached me in the cafeteria giving me his‘aren’t I cute look.’ As the four of us headed out of the cafeteria, Jason hands whipped around my leg as we started to pass his table. “Hey, what are you doing later?”

             
“Going to the mall. Why?”

             
He stood up. “No reason. Just thought we could do something.” He tugged me closer and wrapped his fingers in my belt loop and kissed me. He kissed me so hard that I needed to pull back before one of the lunch lady’s saw and reported us.

             
Out of the corner of my eye, I sneaked a peek at Ethan across the room. His hands were pressed over his face. Heather’s body was turned into his as her legs straddled the bench.  “I can’t. I promised the girls a shopping trip. I’ll call you later.” I told him. I wasn’t sure if I would, but I said it anyway.

             
Val’s arm stretched across my shoulder. “You know you could have bailed if you wanted to.”

             
“Pfff and ditch you three? Not a chance. Besides, he’s starting to get on my nerves.”

             
“Do tell?”

             
“Nothing to tell. He’s just not who I thought he was.”

             
“You mean he doesn’t talk with an adorable accent and look like Becks.”

             
I shot her my best whatever look.

             
She rolled her eyes. “Would you just admit it already?”

             
I quickly looked back at Ethan, whom I caught staring at me. Our eyes locked for a split second. “Maybe. I don’t know. Jason just wants me for one thing. I’m pretty sure about that. I need to breakup with him.”

             
She shuffled me through the doors. “I knew you had the hots for him. I mean seriously the guy is a stud and they just don’t look like that in high school. Maybe it’s all that scruff on his chin or his accent. I don’t know...he’s just a smoking hottie. And, as far as Jason is concerned, well, of course he wants you for your body. What guy doesn’t. I bet even Ethan does.”

             
She’s right. He had to be the finest thing that stepped into these halls in a long time. Of course, I could only account for the last few years and still no one compared to him. Her statement regarding Ethan made me frazzled all day. Is that what he wanted from me too? Truth was that I had been having fun with Ethan. And, there was something about him that set him apart from Jason and the other guys that I knew. He wasn’t afraid to say what was on his mind, and I liked that about him.

             
We started to make out way to the next class.“So are you able to come with us over February break or not?” I asked Val.

             
She frowned before popping a mint into her mouth. “Nope. My parents decided to take us all on a cruise to Mexico. I thought I told you that last week?”

             
I grabbed a mint from the tin. “Oh, really? I don’t remember.  I was kinda counting on you as back-up.”

             
She laughed. “Face it girl, you’re gonna be stuck with hot stud for one whole week swishing away down the trails.”

             
“That’s what I was afraid of,” I admitted.

             
Driving home today left me a little on edge. Ethan fumbled through my stack of CD’s, chuckling as he went through them. “Your taste in music sucks.”

             
“I thought you liked Keith Urban?”

             
“I said he was alright. Too wishy washy for me. All those feelings they spout out. Do you ever listen to classic rock or just country?”

             
“Who do you like?”

             
“Is that going to be your question for today?”

             
I shrugged. “Why not?”

             
“I’m more of an Elvis Costello, Rolling Stones, or the Cure kind of guy. I already told you this on the island. So, basically you blew your question of the day.”

             
“No biggie and eeew.”
             

             
“Eeew, that’s your response. They’re the best bands out there even if they are getting up there in age. The can still rock out with the best of them.”

             
I laughed softly. “Whatever.”

             
“I’ll buy you one for our little road trip next week.”

             
We pulled up to the house and I stopped leaving the engine running. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you when I get home.”

             
“You’re not coming in?” He asked, with his eyebrows arched. No smile, just emptiness.

             
When I looked at Ethan, I sensed he had a question for me. Was he upset? Was he sad? Did he want me to come inside with him? I wanted to crank off the ignition and run inside hand-in-hand, but I was not going to be the first one to make a move. That’s supposed to be initiated by the guy. I think. What if it was my imagination? I wanted to play it cool. “Nope, just doing a drive by with you. I’m meeting my friends at the mall.”

             
His mouth softly curved up into a smile. “Right. Well, see you later,” he said, tapping on the roof of my car.

             
Jason called my cell three times from the time I drove out of the school parking lot until I pulled up into Val’s driveway. I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to talk to him in front of Ethan. Basically I didn’t want to talk to him--period.

             
The four of us hustled into the local mall. Me, Ava, Kelly, and Val stomped our Uggs onto the carpeted entryway. Once inside Victoria’s Secret, Val pulled me aside as the others sifted through the sale bins.

             
“So, how nervous are we about the upcoming ski trip?” Val asked as she wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

             
“Stop it! I’m not nervous. It’s just a little family vaca.”

             
“Since when is Ethan considered family?”

             
I walked over to the tees and started to rifle through. “You know what I mean.”

             
“Mmm Hmm. I do. I’m telling you if you don’t make a move Heather and Ethan might get closer if you know what I mean. Where is that going to leave you two?”

             
I dropped my handbag to the floor. “I’m not sure, yet. And, what about you? I thought you wanted Ethan all to yourself?”

             
“Pfff, please he’s been yours all along. I would never do that to my bestie in a million years.”

             
I grabbed a shirt off the rack and threw it over my shoulder. “Gee, thanks.”

             
The guilt of not telling her about Matt sank in even more. How could I do that to her? It’s not like I’d kissed him back, but still, I should have told her. I should have told her right that minute, but fear smothered me... so I didn’t. I chickened out again.

             
The rest of the school week I tried to break up with Jason, but he was never alone to do the deed. Ethan remained being “friends” with Heather if that’s what you’d like to call it. I’d even heard they held hands in the halls between fifth and sixth period for two straight days. Which made me believe him to be a liar since he’d told me she wasn’t his type. It had to be a rumor I told myself, because he didn’t strike me as a liar.

             
It was the night before winter break, Austin had already been sent to my father’s for a ‘guycation’ as my Dad liked to call it. My mother already explained about the three of us heading to Lake Placid for a few days of relaxation and skiing. Which in a way I was totally cool with since this meant me not spending so called ‘quality time’ with the step-monster, Lorna. I’d been excited to go away, get my skis back on and whoosh down WhiteFace for the first time this season. I hadn’t been there since last winter and was excited to show Ethan everything that I loved about it. The other part of me was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him on the slopes. Apparently, he was an expert. A skill he taunted me for every second of the day this past week.

             
Nervously, I packed my bags, rummaging through my closet and through my drawers, picking out my warmest turtlenecks and pants. My hand lingered on my underwear drawer as I fumbled with a few of my recent purchases. Last time we were at the mall, I’d picked up several new pairs from the sale bin.

             
“I like the black lacy ones. Definitely pack those.” Ethan said jokingly, as he stood outside my door.

             
I couldn’t move my body. I literally forced myself to take a step forward with my back still facing him and quickly shoved my undies back inside. “You really need to learn how to knock.”  I said in a subdued voice.

             
“If you didn’t want anyone to see you should’ve shut your door,” he said as he stepped inside and closer to me. He quickly peeked into my undies drawer.

             
I quickly shut it and turned. He sat on the corner of my bed when I finally faced him. “You all packed?” I asked.

             
“I am. You look like you could use some help.” His eyes glanced down at my suitcase. “You know we’re only going for a few days.”

             
“I like to be prepared,” I said. The truth was I always packed a little heavy, but this trip I’d definitely been over doing it.

             
“So, tell me how big is this Whiteface?”

             
“Is that your question for the day?” I smiled.

             
He smiled and nodded.

             
“Well, it’s pretty big. It’s just over three thousand feet. It’s the highest vertical drop on the East Coast,” I stated with total confidence.

             
He guffawed, “That’s not that big.”

             
“Please, it is too. Why? What’s the highest you’ve skied?”

             
“My family goes to Verbier in Switzerland every year. We’re talking well over four thousand feet. Almost five. It’s amazing.”

             
Shoot! Now, I was really nervous. I should have known that he would be able to top me, and now my competitive side was going to eek out. “Well, we could always have a little side bet?”

             
He grinned. “What did you have in mind?”

             
“Last down the mountain makes dinner every night for a month.”

             
He stood up, walked straight up to me. He grabbed my hand and we shook on it. “Done.” He laughed under his breath and right out the door.

             
I’d been skiing since I was four years old, taking lessons every year until I was eleven. My ski skills were good, but I knew deep down I couldn’t compete with the Swiss Alps, but I was going to give it everything I had and then some. Not even sure what I had just gotten myself into I started to feel panicked.

             
I couldn’t sleep. I packed and repacked. I painted my toes and my fingers. Twice. I brushed my hair over a thousand strokes. I looked at my alarm clock and noticed it was after two a.m. and I kept telling myself if you fall asleep now Sophie you’ll get at least five hours in. Every hour that past I kept telling myself the same thing. Four hours, three hours and then somewhere after three I fell into a deep slumber.

             
“Wake up, sleepy head,” My mother said, as she ripped off the warmth of my blanket.

             
Reaching down, I yanked the blanket back over my head. “What time is it?”

             
“Seven-thirty. Now let’s get moving.”

             
I grumbled and sat up. “Fine. Give me thirty. I need to shower.”

             
We piled in the car with all our luggage. Ethan secured my skis onto the top of the roof.

             
Once inside the car, I peered into the backseat and said, “You know I have one advantage over you.”

             
“What’s that?” Ethan asked.

             
“You’ll be using rentals. Mine are custom made for me. Just picked them up. New bindings and everything.”

             
He laughed. “We’ll see,” he said, handing me a CD with the Rolling Stones on the cover. “You promised to listen.”