Please Don't Tell (16 page)

             
“Oh, I love the Stones.” My mother chimed in after she saw it passed over the console. “You know I saw them once with your mother, Ethan. And Anna of course. Gosh, it feels so long ago.”

             
He smiled. “A woman with good taste.”

             
It wasn’t my taste in music at all. I listened like I promised, but it just wasn’t what I was used to.

             
He tapped my shoulder after the third song. “So what did you think so far?”

             
I felt my forehead crease and turned. “Truth?”

             
“Yes, of course,” he said, exasperated.

             
“Not so much. But, it was okay.”  I couldn’t believe I was lying about something so trivial, but I was. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It just wasn’t my kind of music.

             
He smiled, gratified and leaned back. “Told you.”

             
My mother glanced over her shoulder. “So when are the two of you skiing?” She asked.

             
I looked quickly to the rear seat and then back to my mother and smiled. “Soon as we get there.”

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 17

             
“Are you serious? You think you can beat me on one ski?” I asked.

             
“I could beat you on a snowboard. Just look at it this way, you have the advantage,” he said, nudging me.

             
We scooted onto the lift to take us to the top of Whiteface Mountain. Even though he was covered from head to toe in ski gear, he was still able to take my breath away.

             
“You ready?” He asked.

             
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

             
“See you at the bottom,” he said, and grinned as he pulled down his goggles.

             
I’d done the same. “Not if I see you first.”

             
We were off. The snow cracked under my skis. Side by side for a shocking brief moment and then--poof--he was gone.

             
I snowplowed my way down to the bottom of the slope. Ethan lingered at the bottom like he’d been there all day. His goggles were in his hand and he had that typical, ‘I told you so’ grin registered on his face.

             
“Best out of three.” I asked.

             
“Sure, why not?” He said, before he made his way back to the lift.

             
I had done it! I knew the moment I flipped my goggles back that I had beaten him this time. He swooshed down next to me a heartbeat later.

             
I stuck out my tongue like a two-year old. “Beat ya.”

             
He grinned. “You got me. So round three. Are you sure you’re up for it?” He asked, his mouth curved up at one corner.

             
“I won fair and square, right?” I asked, because for some odd reason I suddenly doubted that I pulled it off.

             
He laughed. “Yes, and you did it with such grace.”

             
We scooted back onto the lift side by side, again. “How about we make it more interesting this time?” I suggested as I lifted up my goggles.

             
His eyebrows raised and then he lowered his goggles back down over his eyes.

             
“No slopes. Just back trail?” I challenged.

             
“You’re sure?” He asked, with skepticism in his voice for the first time.

             
“A got this one in the bag.”

             
The lift dropped us off. “Lead the way,” he said, as he gestured with his hand.

             
We looked around at the orange plastic fencing several feet away, evergreens everywhere behind it and made our way over to the other side of the mountain. It was steep looking down; black rocks poked out from the snow that had fallen the night before. I knew I shouldn’t do this, it was a huge rule in my family to stay on the proper slopes. But hey, I needed to prove something and I didn’t want to chicken out in front of him. I studied him for a second and noticed he didn’t seem uncomfortable with the steep hill, so I pushed the fear back inside of me.

             
We followed each other for several minutes until he slowed, grinned and broke off. He kicked up white powder in my direction. I knew we’d had to be half way down when I hit the patch of ice. My skis instantly overlapped which caused me to lose my balance. I fell over onto my knee first then tumbled and tumbled farther down the mountain. I went down hard. I felt every ache in my back, I heard the pop of my knee as I landed face down in the snow. The pain had been excruciating until finally everything stopped moving.

             
I laid in the cold snow unable to move. My knee pounded. Not the kind of hurt you get from too much exercise, this had been the excruciating blinding kind of pain.  I tried to sit up several times, but my knee throbbed and then everything went fuzzy.

             
“Sophie, can you hear me?” Ethan asked frantically. “Sophie, say something.” I couldn’t speak, but I’d felt his hands as he flipped the goggles off my head. “Sophie, please.”

             
My eyes blinked. I heard him clearly. But, why couldn’t I answer? My breathing had picked up as the pain radiating through my entire leg. I had to say something--anything. I reached my arm down toward my leg. “Uuh, Ethan go get help. I think my knee’s busted.”

             
Ethan shook his head. “No way. I’m not leaving you alone.” His hand came down and he unstrapped my helmet and caressed my hair. “Someone will come by.”

             
“Please, I’m freezing and it hurts so bad. Go. I’ll be okay.”

             
“I’d carry you down myself, but I’m afraid to move you. If someone doesn’t come within fifteen minutes then I’ll go. Okay?”

             
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes he just sat down next to me and blew his warm breath into my hands. “Tell me something?” I asked, as his mouth ran over my fingers, breathing harder.

             
He pulled back slightly. “What do you want me to tell you?”

             
“Anything. Just talk to me,” I murmured.

             
He didn’t answer at first, but when I looked up into his eyes, he looked a million miles away in thought. He finally leaned over and he stared eyes into my eyes. He leaned closer. “I lied to you,” he whispered in my ear.

             
“About what?” I grumbled.

             
“Why we moved to England. We didn’t really move because of my sister. We moved because of me. My Dad was my best friend and when he died, I just freaked. I started drinking and getting high all the time. My mother moved me to be closer to Peter, to help me get through it all. I guess you could say I was going through a really dark time in my life.”

             
“Did it help?”

             
“Yeah, a little. I gave up the pot not the booze.”

             
My eyes fluttered and then closed. “How did he die?” I whispered.

             
“Keep your eyes open, Sophie,” he said, as he pushed my hair back and off my face.

I forced them back open.

             
“Accident. He went out to get a few things one night and I don’t know...he just never came back. That phone call was the worse thing I’d ever listened to.” He fingers still played with my hair. “I’ve been a bloody mess ever since.”

             
“I’m so sorry,” I said. I wanted to reach out and hold him, but of course I couldn’t move my body.

             
He shrugged and wiped his eyes with the back of his glove. “It happens.”

             
He stood up and grabbed his ski and clicked his boots back into it. “I’ll be back in less than twenty minutes, okay.”

             
I nodded. “Please hurry.”

             
He kicked his boots out again and leaned over me. He kissed my forehead and stared into my eyes for a long second. “I promise.”

             
If I hadn’t been in so much damn pain and half in shock, I would have stayed in the snow forever with him. I wouldn’t have cared about being cold or numb, just the warmth of him was all that I wanted. Even through the blinding pain, I felt more pain for his loss than I did for myself.

             
When he skied away I started counting. One, two, three....once I got to five hundred I stopped. My teeth chattered and my hands had become stingingly numb. My eyes kept shutting, but then I’d remember his words and would force them back open. It had felt like forever had gone by when my eyes couldn’t resist anymore. One last blink and I gave in. I closed my eyes, letting myself drift in and out of sleep on the cold snow deep in the Adirondack’s.

             
When my eyes opened for the first time I saw two things as I glanced around the room. My mother stood by a door as she talked on her phone and Ethan’s head was lying down on my bed, resting on his forearms. I stretched my hand toward his hair briefly running my fingers through it. I don’t know why I did it, but I just wanted to feel it once. His hair was so beautiful.

             
His head lifted. “You’re awake.” He smiled.

             
I clenched my teeth, then forced a weak smile.“I guess I owe you a lot of dinners?”

             
“Let’s just call it even. You won one and I won one.”

             
My eyes quickly scanned my body before I focused on my left knee. It’d definitely looked better in the past. I had broken my wrist once swinging from a Tarzan swing. I was eleven and trying to cross a creek when it happened. My wrist bone had popped out of my skin, which I thought was the grossest thing ever.

             
How would I do anything?

             
How would I drive?

             
How would I shower?

             
How would I even walk down the stairs in my house?

             
“Sweetie, you’re awake.” My mother exclaimed, as she stowed her phone in her bag. “Are you in any pain?”

             
“Some, but it’s bearable.”

             
“They gave you enough morphine to make you feel comfortable for at least a week.” Her phone chimed again to the same melody she’s had it set on for as long as I can remember.
             
“Charlotte Gerrard,” she said.“No, I told you Phil. I’m in Lake Placid and Sophie’s been hurt.” She paced back and forth. “I need at least two more days before I can get her home.”

             
She pointed her finger toward Ethan. “I need your help,” she murmured.

             
The room went silent. He walked out into the hallway and followed my mother. The only noise I’d been left with was the hum drum of the machines in the room. Ethan came back in moments later alone and pulled the chair closer to my bed.

             
“Sophie, I’m so sorry.” Ethan apologized, as he grabbed hold of my hand.

             
“Ethan, it’s not your fault. It was my idea.”

             
“Yes, but... I knew better.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I agreed to it. It was so bloody stupid of me to let you talk me into it.”

             
“Stop it,” I said, as I intertwined my fingers with his. “I don’t think I gave you much of a choice.”

             
He pulled away and placed his head in his hands. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Jesus, Sophie, I was so scared something serious was wrong with you.” He looked back up to me. “When we got back you were so out of it.  I kept thinking that I shouldn’t have left you or if I’d just carried you down instead.” His hand reached down and squeezed mine tightly. “God, Sophie I was so scared.”

             
Even though I was completely doped up on painkillers I heard everything he said loud and clear.

             
My mother walked back in a second later with the doctor. “Sophie, the doctor says we don’t need to do the surgery, but physical therapy is an absolute must. So when we get back we’ll need to get started right away.”

             
The doctor came to my bedside. “Sophie, you tore your ACL. It’s a grade 2, so we have a splint on there. But, you’ll need to keep the ice on for at least 24 hours. I gave your mother a prescription for an anti-inflammatory and some heavy duty painkillers. You’ll probably need a brace and some crutches for a little while for extra support.” He smiled and hung my chart on the end of the bed.

             
“I guess I ruined the trip,” I mumbled. “What were you two talking about?” I asked, looking from Ethan back to my mother.

             
My mom came up next to me and held my hand. It felt so warm.“Well, it’s not the best timing, but we’ll figure something out.”

             
“What are you talking about?”

             
“Phil, my boss, needs me to head to Boston for a few days. Ethan and Gran have promised to take care of you while I’m gone. We’ll drive home in two days and then I have to go, but I promise I’ll be back by the weekend.” She added, “I’m so sorry.” She walked back out of the room as her phone buzzed again.

             
My eyes trailed back to Ethan whose eyes were fixated on mine. I frowned. “This is so not how I wanted this vacation to end.”

             
He smiled. “It’s not a problem, Sophie. I’m happy to do it.”