Please Don't Tell (17 page)

             
A nurse strolled in and picked up the clipboard that hung from the bottom of my bed, “Just here to give you a little more medicine, hon. Then you’ll be able to go home in a few hours or so.”

             
She pulled off a little tube filled with morphine and added more to my IV drip. Within in minutes I felt my eyes get heavy and start to close. “Ethan, do you regret coming to stay with us?” I asked, before I couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer. As they shut I heard him speak.

             
“Is that your question of the day?” He asked.

             
I forced a small smile and nodded before the my eyelids completely closed. The medicine coursed through my body and started to take immediate effect.

             
“Well, I’m only admitting this because you probably won’t remember in the morning, but no, I don’t regret coming.” I smiled as I heard his answer. “In fact, you’re the real reason I came. Those few hours trapped on those rocks did something to me. You made me feel alive again, Sophie. For the first time since he died I actually felt something. I haven’t had a lot to smile about, but now I can’t seem to stop. Of course, I told Pete as soon as I could and the two of us concocted this whole exchange program thing in one conversation. We talked to my Aunt, my mum and it all went down perfectly.” He stopped then added, “Then I came and you were back with the arsehole Jason. By the way he’s so wrong for you, Sophie. You should hear him talking about you in the locker room. I want to kill him half the bloody time.”

             
I felt him grab my hand as he warmed it with his own. I did hear him, but the drug kicked in and I wanted desperately to answer him, but I couldn’t. With my eyes shut, I felt myself smiling and only hoped that he could see that I was happy with his answer. It was an answer I hadn’t expected, but it was the most beautiful perfect speech I’d ever heard.

             
“Funny thing is I didn’t even want to go on that trip.” He continued, “it was yet another attempt on my families part to spark some kind of life in me. And, it did. It actually worked this time. Sophie, can you hear me? Are you awake?”

             
I turned my head toward his, forcing my eyes to open briefly and managed to smile before everything went pitch black.

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 18

             
A few days later and finally home. I woke in my room as my mother paced around. It was not how I expected to start my day.

             
I pulled my covers tightly up and over my shoulders. “Mom, what are you doing?”

             
“Morning, honey. I have a flight in a few hours and I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t need anything. Do you?” She asked, as she sat down next to me. “I placed a pitcher of water and a cup next to you. Ethan stepped out to run down to Starbucks. Gran will be over a bit later. She has cards all day with her friends.”

             
“I’m fine.” I stretched out my leg out from under the covers.

             
“This is such bad timing. You know I wouldn’t go, but someone has to pay the bills around here.” She reached down and smoothed out my hair with her fingers. “You’re okay with Ethan looking after you for a bit, right?”

             
I smiled at the mention of his name. “It’s fine. We’ll be fine. Besides, no school and Ethan hasn’t even watched half of the 80’s movies yet.”

             
She laughed. “I’m sure he’ll just love that.”

             
A smile crept on my face at the thought of being alone with him. “I think he will.”

             
Her eyebrows raised. “Is there something you want to tell me, Sophie? I mean, there is nothing going on between the two of you, is there? He seemed to get really shaken up at what happened to you.”

             
“You should have told me about his Dad earlier so I could have called him or something. I think it just brought back some bad memories for him.”

             
She sighed. “Well, you hadn’t seen Ethan in so long that I guess it just slipped my mind. But, you’re right. I should have.”

             
The door slammed below.

             
“And no, nothing is going on between us.”

             
Should I tell her how I seriously I wanted to change that status? Or, the words he had said to me at the hospital? Nah! Before I declared anything I wanted and needed Ethan to say it out loud, before I started to make a fool out of myself. I mean, did I hear him right? Was he here for me? What if I heard it wrong? Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was because my head had been fuzzy since the accident. Maybe I was wrong! He hadn’t even mentioned it the last few days and I stupidly pretended not to have heard him. I even started to believe it had been my crazy teen imagination running wild.

             
Ethan stepped into my room five minutes after we heard the front door slam with Pixie leading the way. She padded into my room and jumped onto my bed, turning over for better access to her belly. I reached down and rubbed her for a minute then looked up at Ethan.

             
“Coffee?” He asked, holding one out to my mother and one to me.

             
What I wanted right now more than ever was to talk to Val. She was still on her Mexican vacation and wouldn’t be home for three more days. I tried her cell a dozen times since we’d gotten back, but it went directly to voicemail every time I called. I really needed her no nonsense advice right about now.

             
Ethan handed me the coffee and I inhaled the aroma of cinnamon. I lifted it up, and pulled off the lid. It was full of whipped cream. I couldn’t help but grin knowing that he’d remembered. “Mmm, thanks.”

             
“My pleasure.” Ethan pulled my desk chair up to the edge of my bed. “Do you need anything else?”

             
“Ethan.” My mother said, “Maybe you could help me get Sophie downstairs. I set up the pull out for her.”

             
Confused I asked, “The pull out?”

             
“I just thought you’d be more comfortable down there watching television while I’m gone. Plus the kitchen would be closer and Pixie will need to be let out. Was I wrong?”

             
I patted Pixie on her head and stroked her fur back and forth. “No, I guess it’s fine.”

             
“Ethan be a dear and help her downstairs.” She leaned over and pressed her lips to my forehead. “I gotta run if I want to catch my flight.”

             
We both looked up. “Bye Mom.”

             
Ethan added, “She’ll be in good hands.”

             
She was already gone when I forced myself to look away from him.

             
Ethan stood up. “How would you like to do this?”

             
I didn’t have to think hard about that one. “Do you think you could just let me lean on you.” And, kiss you is what I really wanted to say, but I didn’t dare.

             
“Sure.” He reached down and grabbed my coffee and placed it down. “I’ll come back for this.”

             
I eased my legs over the bed one at a time. His hand grabbed me by the underarm and hoisted me to a stand. When he leaned closer, I caught a quick whiff of his fabulous cologne. As we started to make our way toward the door, I hopped along beside him until we reached the stairs. “I don’t know...maybe I should just stay up here.”

             
He smiled. “Rubbish. I’ve got you.” His arms swooped me up into his and I nestled my face into his neck as he walked us both down the steps and onto my new bed for the next few days. I couldn’t help but notice how he picked me up; like I was as light as a feather. He didn’t even grunt or slip up the whole way to the couch. Did I mention those arms? The best biceps I’d ever held onto.

             
With my mom gone and Austin still at my Dad’s, I wanted him to desperately come clean about everything he’d said, including the Jason comment. I haven’t spoken to Jason since I got back. He didn’t even know that I was temporarily out of commission for the next week. Not that I cared. The only thing I needed to do was time it right so that Gran didn’t barge in demanding me to eat her ‘go to soup’ whenever someone was ill. I never had the heart to tell her that I hated her Italian Wedding Soup. We weren’t even Italian for crying out loud.

             
“Could you grab my cell from my purse when you get my coffee? It’s hanging on my chair,” I asked.

             
He nodded then I heard his footsteps as they pounded up the stairs. When he came back, he had my coffee in one hand, my phone in the other and my Snuggie draped around his neck.

             
“Here, thought you might like this,” he said, as he tossed me my Snuggie.

             
“Thanks.” I smiled, and grabbed the phone and punched in Jason’s number. I figured it was about time to finally break up with him if I wanted to make myself available.

             
Jason answered, “Where the hell have you been?” This was the first thing I heard from the other end of my phone.

             
“Hey, Jason, umm,” I said, as I kept my eyes on Ethan as he started to walk out. I placed my phone down below my ear. “Ethan you don’t have to leave.”

             
He shook his head. “Just giving you some privacy. I’ll be back in a little while.”

             
I hugged the phone back up to my ear. “Sorry I didn’t get back to you. You are not going to believe this.” I said, telling him the chain of events of what had happened. “So, I won’t be able to do anything this weekend like planned.” Or anything ever again I wanted to say, but I didn’t want to be one of those girls that dumped someone over the phone. “Maybe you could stop by later today or this week? We need to talk.”

             
“Can’t today. Have plans already, but I’ll call you tomorrow. See ya.” He hung up the phone.

             
That was it. Not any Oh my God what happened? How do you feel? Can I do anything? Can I come over and hold your hand? Nothing! He just hung up. I had been right. He was Jason the Jerk after all.

             
Twenty minutes later, Ethan stood at the foot of my made up bed peering down at me. “Need anything?”

             
“Thank God. Yes, could you hand me that box of DVD’s in the corner.”

             
He crossed over to the bookcase then handed me the box.

             
Once he handed it to me, I rummaged through every movie. I pulled out Sixteen Candles and smiled. “You have to sit and watch this one with me.” I glanced up and looked at Ethan who seemed to be acting a little strange, even for him. His body movements were off, his ridiculously charming smile was not present.  Deep down, I knew my call to Jason probably bothered him. And that had not been my intention. “What? Have you seen this one?”

             
He sat down next to me and scratched at the back of his neck. “Sophie, do you really want to watch a movie with me?”

             
I smiled. “Is that your question of the day?”

             
He chuckled softly. “I suppose it is.”

             
“Then yes. I really do want you to watch this with me.”

             
His smile reappeared before he grabbed the movie out of my hand. “I’ll just pop this in and then get something for us to eat.”

             
He squatted onto his knees, and placed the DVD into the player. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had the body of a twenty something year old, not a senior in high school. I started to let images him from our vacation run through my head when he turned around. “What?”

             
I guess I’d stared a little too long. “It’s nothing,” I said, too quickly as I shook my head. “Guess these meds are making me zone out a little.”

             
He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Right. What are you hungry for?”

             
You! I wanted to say, but instead I said, “Umm, how about bagels and cream cheese?”

             
“Perfect.”

             
He sauntered back out into the kitchen literally leaving me breathless. I grabbed the blanket and pulled it up tighter before pushing the fast forward button on the remote. Hitting pause when the movie started, I waited for Ethan to return. When he did he had a tray full of bagels and cream cheese and two glasses of orange juice.

             
I watched as he carried it over and then gently placed it on the coffee table. His hand reached down and grabbed a bagel. “Cream Cheese?” He asked.

             
“Is there any other way to eat a bagel?”

             
He laughed. “Right. I’ll just do this for you.” He smeared the bagel with vegetable cream cheese.

             
“Thanks,” I said, as he handed it to me. I had hoped for a little loop of the finger action, but he seemed to do his best to avoid my hand.

             
While Ethan smeared his bagel, I scooted over and lifted the blanket to make room for him on my makeshift bed.

             
Once he plopped down next to me, I hit the play button to start the movie.  He surprised me again. He watched the whole movie with not so much as a word.

             
“So, what did you think of the movie...great right?” I asked, after the movie credits started to roll.

             
He relaxed next to me with his one arm behind his neck. “It was good.”

             
“Good. That’s it. This is one of the best John Hughes films ever made.”

             
“Got it. Maybe the next one I’ll see your way, but that one just didn’t do it for me. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’d give that boy her panties and not expect anything to happen.” He said, as he reached for the remote from in between us. “My turn.” He flicked through the channels, and stopped when it displayed an English Premier Soccer game on.

             
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”

             
“No way, it’s my turn. I watched your whole movie without one word. Now it’s my turn, and look it’s already started.”

             
Aston Villa versus Arsenal. Arsenal had been the football team that I knew he supported from when he first arrived. And, because it was the team Peter supported by going to as many games as possible. So, I agreed, unhappily to watch and I tried. I did, but after the last batch of pain meds he’d handed to me, I fell asleep somewhere after the sixtieth minute.

             
When I woke, he was lying way closer to me than before.  His one arm was behind my neck and my face was snuggled up next to his chest. I tilted my head and stared at his closed eyes. I wanted to remember that moment. The curve of his face, the scar on his eyebrow to even the scruff on his chin. His eyes remained shut, his hand clutched around the remote while I took everything I could in.