Please Don't Tell (21 page)

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 20

             
Val’s mom owned one of the many local salons in our village. Which was great for Val, but sucked for me. Her mom would make her work whenever someone called out, or felt that Val needed to learn a “valuable lesson.” Sadly for me it meant Val was busy lately.

             
I stumbled in on my crutches. I had finally started to get around without my brace a few days ago. I sat and grabbed a hairstyling trend magazine off the glass table and flipped through the pages. She finally walked over with the broom in her hand. “What’s up?”

             
I placed the magazine down. “Just seeing what you’re up to.”

             
She raised her hand to her chin and smirked. “You mean besides sweeping up old nasty lady hair? Nothing. Why do you ask?”

             
I stood up and glanced over my shoulder. “Stop it. Someone is going to hear you call them old and never come back again.”

             
“Fine by me. Less clean up.” She shoved behind the counter. “You haven’t been here in forever. Let’s do something. Matt has some stupid project due and I’m dying for some B and J.”

             
I zipped up my jacket. “Me, too.” We walked the few store fronts down to Ben and Jerry’s to order our favorite. Always the same--Chunky Monkey in a waffle cone with chocolate sauce dribbled all over it.

             
She’d taken the booth by the window. The one we always sat at so we could people watch.  She licked her cone and then smiled one of her devious smiles. “So...?”

             
“So...we’re doing really good.”

             
“How good?”

             
I’d started to do a little happy dance in my seat. “Chunky monkey good.”

             
“Ohmygod! You did it. You had sex.”

             
I shushed her and looked around to make sure no one heard her. “I did not, Jeesh. We’ve only kissed.” I licked my cone and wiggled my brows. “I think I’m in love.”

             
“You are so lucky. He’s really great, Sophie.”

             
“Yeah, thanks.” I adverted my attention to my sugar cone. I hated feeling this way. I knew I needed to tell her, but when was the right time? Was the right time over Chunky Monkey? When was it ever okay to break your best friends heart? The secret started to feel like being stuck in a torture chamber. It just sat there on my shoulders like a giant elephant holding me down. I needed to tell her. I could not let this come between us. But, how do you tell your best friend her boyfriend was a jerk and that she gave up her virginity to a complete asshole.

             
I chickened out. Again.

             
Twenty minutes later we jumped in my car, and headed to the local pharmacy to happily patrol the make-up aisle.

             
While checking out every shade possible in the OPI section, Val nudged me.“Soph?

             
“Yeah. Do you remember when we were little and we used to play Bloody Mary?”

             
“Omigosh! Yeah, I do.”

             
“There’s this killer movie coming out. It’s supposed to be crazy scary, but I thought we could go?” She asked.

             
“Sure. Just let me know when and where and I’ll be there.” I hadn’t been thinking clearly. Normally, a horror film would never be in order. I hated them and she knew it. I even hated playing Bloody Mary all those years ago, but played because she wanted to. It had been way too creepy for me. Especially, since we’d do it in her mother’s salon in the dark with all the mirrors surrounding us. I shivered at the memory. “Wait! Since when do you like horror movies?”

             
She fumbled with the trial sized lipgloss and dabbed some on the back of her hand and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just thought maybe you could come with me and Matt.”

             
I turned, abruptly and said, “Ugh, I’m not playing third wheel while you two get it on in the back row.”

             
Val grabbed a tissue and rubbed the lipstick off of her hand. “Never mind.”

             
After I dropped Val home, I bumped into Ethan on the staircase and we did this weird I want to touch you, kiss you thing, but didn’t since other people lived there too. Weirdly, I didn’t see him the rest of the night. I paced back and forth several times by his door, but never knocked. I huffed loudly, but I doubt he heard me over his music. Stalking off into my own room, I left my door open just in case he decided to make an appearance. He never did.

             
School was awkward plain and simple. Jason hadn’t let up on the stares or the snide remarks whenever he saw me and Ethan together. Val was constantly with Matt, which meant as his girlfriend and Jason’s best friend they were now hanging out together.

             
In the hall before fourth, I slowed our pace down. “Val, is everything okay?” I asked her.

             
“Sure.” She shrugged, tossing her bag to the other shoulder. “Why?”

             
“Well, I don’t know. You just seem kind of distant today.”

             
“Sorry, just have some things going on.” She paused and looked down the hall like she’d been looking for someone. “Nothing important. I’ll catch you after class.” She was gone. She ran into the room just as the bell rang. Which left me late for class.

             
At lunch, the usual suspects gathered at our table except Ethan. He’d made some excuse about a paper he had due and would be spending his lunch in the media center.

             
“So when is Mr. British invasion hopping the pond?” Val asked, between bites of her taco.

             
I frowned. “Two months.”

             
“That sucks. What are you gonna do?”

             
“I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.” I tossed her a napkin. “You have taco sauce dripping from your chin.” She picked it up and wiped her chin, then I added, “Actually, we haven’t talked about it at all.”

             
“How come?”

             
“I don’t know,” I told her.

             
She dropped the subject and talked about the upcoming basketball game Friday night. As we ate my phone vibrated in my front pocket with a message. I took it out and noticed a missed call from Jason. My head instinctively lifted and turned in his direction. He held up his phone and gave me a nod. I didn’t wave back. How could I?

             
“Who was that?” Ava asked.

             
I scrunched my nose up. “Jason. I have no idea what he wants. I thought he was with Meghan now.”

             
Kelly snorted. “Yeah, that relationship lasted one night. Once he got what he was after, I heard he ditched her.”

             
“Really?” I knew Jason wanted to have sex with me, or at least used to want to, but even I was a little surprised to find out he was one of ‘those’ guys. The one-night-love-them and leave them. I thought or hoped he’d had a little more depth than that.

             
“Mmm Hmm. I heard it, too,” Val added. My mouth hung wide open. I couldn’t believe she didn’t tell me. “What? Matt told me. Jason told him she just didn’t do it for him. But, before he let he in on it he got what he was after.”

             
Kelly looked all around, then leaned in.“Y’know, he’s been staring over here the entire lunch period.” I didn’t dare look again. I finished my lunch listening to all the different scenarios they’d come up with. Things like he’s still in love with you, Sophie. He wants you back, that’s why he called. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

             
And, if that hadn’t been hard enough to deal with, I was left the entire day contemplating how the hell Ethan and I were supposed to pull off some crazy teenage long distance relationship. I knew there was absolutely no possible way that it could work out, and I hated to think about him leaving. Just as the bell rang, I knew what my question of the day for would be for him. The only trouble was getting him to be honest with me, since he escaped answering anything regarding his heading back to London.

             
Back at the house, and finally alone with Ethan we sat parked in the driveway. Ethan started to reach for the door when I reached over and grabbed his hand.

             
“Wait.” I lifted his hand and kissed it. “I have my question for the day.”

             
“Shoot, Gerrard.”

             
I took a deep breath. “What’s gonna happen when you leave?”

             
He opened his mouth, then shut it. Then he said, “No. I’m taking a pass on this one.”

             
What? I tugged on his sleeve feeling his bicep. “There are no passes. Just brutal honesty, remember.”

             
He turned and stared out the window. “Sophie, I don’t want to answer that.”

             
“Don’t or won’t or can’t answer?” I asked, as I wiped a tear form the corner of my eye.

             
He turned then and faced me, then whispered, “Can’t.”

             
“Why? It’s not a hard question.”

             
“I can’t and I won’t answer that. I’m not ready to,” he said, as he opened his door and stepped out.

             
He left me alone. I sat in my car and stewed for twenty minutes before I had gotten the nerve to go inside.

             
My phone rang as I was walking in. “Hey, Val,” I answered.

             
“I need to go shopping. Will you please come with me, pretty pretty please,” She begged.

             
“Actually, I could use a little shopping therapy today. Pick me up.”

             
“Be there in ten,” Val said.

             
I’d shut my cell and then braced myself to see Ethan. Looking all around the downstairs, I couldn’t find him. I hobbled up the steps as fast as my leg would let me to see that his door was closed. He’d been closing his door lately and nerves started to run through me like never before.

             
I knocked loudly. “Ethan, can I come in?”

             
“Sure,” he answered.

             
Opening that door you would have thought I was going in to fight a pack of wolves. My hands clammed up, sweat even started to form in the crease of my brow. But, I couldn’t figure out why or what was so hard about my question. It was inevitable that he would leave, we both knew that. He quickly closed his laptop like he’d been trying to hide something.

             
“I’m sorry if you’re upset with me, but I’m not sorry about the question.”

             
“I’m not upset with you. I’m upset with me.”

             
“Do you want to talk about this?”

             
“Not today. I just need some time to answer.”

             
Time? Time for what? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t.

             
I stood there staring at his flask that his father gave him that sat on his desk. “Could you do me a favor?”

             
He nodded.

             
“I’m running out with Val to the mall. Tell my mom I’ll just grab something at the Food Court, okay.”

             
“You’re leaving?”

             
“Er...did you want me to stay?”

             
His face looked relieved. “No. Go have fun.” He smiled as he walked over, kissing me softly on my cheek. “I’ll see you when you get back.”

             
With my head down, I turned and stepped outside. He closed the door behind me. Once out of his room, I waited a few minutes then slipped down the stairs when he didn’t come back out. The loud honking noise of Val’s horn pulled me from running back into Ethan’s room.  My heart broke leaving him there. I wanted to talk to him, hold him and try to understand what was going on inside his head. Confusion soared through me thinking of him the entire ten minute ride to the mall. What did I do wrong? Was he through with me? How could I fix this? Why couldn’t he answer that stupid question?

             
“What’s up?” Val asked once inside Hollister.