Poseidia (17 page)

Chapter 1
7

M
y cheerful demeanor vanished as all the blood drained from my face. “My what?”

“Your baby. I have a lot to explain, I know
, but, this little one is your baby.”

“
How is that possible? It’s not. I died. The baby would have died. How could it survive?” I rambled.

“It was uncertain for a long time if the baby would survive.” She smiled and for the first ti
me tears glistened in her eyes.

“How could you lie to me for so long, knowing how much pain I was in?” I asked, on
the verge of hysterical tears.

“When we woke you, you weren’t in a place with your emotions to handle the uncertainty. We didn’t want to give you false hope. You were already dealing with so much.
The stress of not knowing if the baby would survive would have been a huge emotional burden. And worse, we truly didn’t believe it would thrive.”

I nodded, at a loss for words.
Don’t focus on the negative.
Don’t judge. Listen
.

“
But the baby would have been too immature to save. I was only a few weeks pregnant. It’s impossible to save a baby only a few weeks old, isn’t it?” My feet feeling heavy as lead, I took several steps closer to the cylinder.

“It’s not impossible for us. We have worked hard on fertility problems and keeping infants alive when they’re born premature. This is why I’m called The Mother.” She waved her hand in front of the cylinder and it lit
up. “And you were more than a few weeks pregnant when we found you. Your body wasn’t able to change and endure the pregnancy.”

M
y heart swirled with confusion.

“This is an artificial womb. We synthesize amniotic fluid, all the sounds, and comforts
a fetus would have,” she explained.

I
gazed through the watery haze and saw the baby stretch out, displaying a blue fin.
What the heck?

“The baby was dying, so without any other options we infused
it with our DNA as well. This miracle has surprised us, even more than you did.”

“My baby will be
Mer? Is it still—David’s baby?” I closed my eyes, hiding my pain.
David can never know. This baby is mine—mine alone—to love and protect. He forfeited all his rights when he pushed me off the ship.

“Yes,
the baby’s father is still your David,” she confirmed.

“Do you know the sex yet?”

“We can’t tell because the baby has been in Mer form since a day after we infused the DNA.”

I can’t believe it
—I
thought I’d lost so much.
Roman’s voice echoed in my head, “It is a gift.”

More than he knew.

Slowly, I blinked and smiled, touching the womb as the baby moved. A wave of gratitude for this tiny miracle washed over me and I put my head in my hands and cried.
So indebted beyond words. Thank you, thank you.

“I’m sorry we had to keep it from you. We wanted to be sure you would stay.”

“I can’t leave now, can I?” I wouldn’t leave my child alone here.
This is my home now. Now I know for sure.
Nothing could drag me away.

“That’s why I sent Roman to take you back to
get your locket,” she said.

Wait—what?
“You knew? You sent Roman?” The old familiar feeling of betrayal slithered up into my heart.

“Of course we knew. He had to clear
it with us before taking you. After how much upset it caused the first time, the High Council had to approve.”

“Why didn’t he just tell me? He acted
so mysterious about it.” I crossed my arms tightly and took a step back.

“He didn’t tell you?” She wrinkled her forehead and looked down at the floor.

“No, Roman plays games with me.”

“
He adores you.” Her eyes twinkled with a glowing light of joy.

“He has a strange way of showing it.” My hands went over my heart, as I stood there
watching my little miracle, my mind numb. A gift though all this tragedy. “I can’t believe you knew I went back. I thought leaving was forbidden after my escape attempt.”

“It was risky
, but worth it, if it would give you some kind of closure. We are not villains. We want you to heal and have your locket.” She set her hands on my shoulder.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” I stepped back to the cylinder. The bab
y turned over and its eyes fluttered open for a second.

“It’s a hard subject to broach with you. Roman seems to be the one you trust,” she
reasoned.

“Have you spoken to Roman at all since we got back?”
Did he tell you how stupid I am?

“No,” she said,
tilting her head. “Roman doesn’t inform us of every detail. In fact, he reports the bare minimum. He’s the one who talked us into letting you go, it was his idea. Did something happen I need to know about?”

So Roman doesn’t tell them e
verything and they don’t automatically know. That makes me feel better. Maybe my weak moment will be our secret.

“I left
a knife there. Roman’s knife. David… I dropped it on accident and forgot about it. I wasn’t thinking. I feel so stupid.”

“Roman is well-
experienced in these sorts of problems. He’ll take care of it,” she assured. “I’ll give you some time with your baby and meet you in fifteen minutes in the meditation room. We need to stay on track for the integration.”

Lily left and I was alone with my baby. I stood there l
ost in the moment, unsure if I was even breathing. My baby entranced me, casting a spell.

Th
is is more important than my locket.

The baby moved and stretched, displaying its fin.
Round eyes opened a sliver and a hint of blue peeked out. After another stretch, the thumb found the mouth and a peaceful sucking commenced.

Dumbfounded,
I still didn’t understand how they did this. I was no scientist, nor was I familiar with genetic engineering. They were miracle workers in my opinion.

The baby drifted off to sleep. I don’t understand how I knew, I
simply did. Not wanting to leave but knowing I had to, I placed both of my hands on the tank, said goodbye, and blew the baby a kiss.

I
n the Training Center, I became lost in the web of tunnels, an easy thing to do here. I looked around for a familiar site, when someone grabbed me from behind, covered my mouth with their hand, and dragged me into a side room.

Furious,
I elbowed the person in the stomach and then turned around.
Ugh, Roman
. Irritated for being startled, I said, “You scared me to death.”

With his ha
nd, he rubbed his abdomen where I’d hit.

“I’m sorry, but it’s a reflex. You shouldn’t sneak up on someone
,” I justified.

“Don’t be sorry. I enjoyed it,” he
teased. A devilish smile spread across his face.

“
Look, I’m lost. I’m looking for the meditation room.” Impatient, I crossed my arms and tapped my foot, feeling horrible for elbowing him, but he deserved it.

“It’s down that hallway, and to the left. Or is it the right? I don’t remember
.” He chuckled annoyingly.

I didn’t believe him.
“You don’t remember? Don’t you… work… here?” I asked.

“Work is subject to interpreta
tion.”

“Lily told me she knew about you taking me back to
… help me find my locket. I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me.”

“It didn’t come up,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Are you kidding me? It did come up—several times!”

“I’m not kidding. What’s the problem?”

“I need to believe I can trust you. If you don’t tell me things, then how can I gain confidence in your word?”

“
You’re one to scold me about trust. But we’ll hash this out later. I still can’t find the knife.”

I lowered my eyelids, knowing he was right.
Then what he said struck me and I cleared my throat before venturing, “You went back?”

“Yes
, this morning I searched again, hoping we’d missed it. I only stayed a few minutes. He wasn’t there, and I didn’t find the knife. I was going to follow him, but he never showed up.”

“You didn’t need to go back
, we saw it wasn’t there.”
And I want to be the one who goes back, not you.

“I wanted to make sure.
”

“So you’re a control freak, too,” I
accused, and then regretted saying it. Realizing I was being too harsh on someone who had helped me when no one else had, I apologized, “I’m sorry. Again, I’m screwing up. What should we do?”

“I’ll speak with Lily and the security team. We’ll come up with a plan. You don’t have to worry
we’ll deal with it. I was only keeping you informed.”

“The integration is tomorrow
, if you end up needing my help.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t be too sure, I know how David thinks and his habits. You don’t. I can help predict his movements,” I retorted, taking a few steps. “I was on my way to meet Lily in the meditation room.”

“I’ll go with you.” He
hauled me by my hand after him, walking with purpose.

I thought he said he didn’t know.

In the meditation room, Lily was sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. As we entered, she opened them and glanced from me to Roman. “I got the security update. Did you find the knife?”

“
No, I didn’t. I’ll need to track it down. Something is not right—I sense it,” Roman told her. “I want to dream-walk him to find out what he did with it.”

“What is
dream-walking?” I asked.

“Exactly
the way it sounds,” Roman answered. “The jewels on the handle would be worth a small fortune. He won’t be able to resist selling them.”

“
I say let him. There are plenty here. Maybe we’ll get lucky and David will only harvest the jewels and then forget about the encounter.”

“Our bigger problem is my
dried blood is all over the hilt,” Roman said.

“
I didn’t see any blood.” I glanced over at Roman and looked him up and down. I hadn’t noticed any blood on him, either.

“
From an intense sparring match with my apprentice. We can’t allow him to keep the weapon.”

“All David
will care about is the jewels,” I asserted, fearing I was wrong.

“I want my knife back r
egardless,” he said with venom.

Okay, he is still mad.
“It’s only a knife. Can’t you get another one?” I asked, hoping we’d forget about it. Unable to concentrate with the news about my baby, my mind swirled, overwhelmed with information.

“
As your locket is special, so is my knife. It’s a memento from my human time.”

“Oh
, I didn’t know.” Now I felt even worse than before.

“The knife itself is valuable, but the less information he knows about us the better.
I can guess David would be vindictive. It’s a security risk and I have a bad feeling about it. Something feels off,” Roman maintained.

I sensed his annoyance.
Is he angry with David or me?

“If Roman senses something is off, then there must be something wrong. We need to find out what it is, if anything, to make sure
there is no threat. Roman is the expert at security risks,” Lily said.

“
Well—David’s smart enough, and has the resources to do a DNA analysis on the knife, if he thinks of it.” They both settled their gazes on me, obviously not expecting that answer. “Well, hopefully the jewels will be enough to distract him.”

“I sh
ouldn’t have let you go in alone,” Roman now fumed, pacing the room while running his hands through his hair. “Given the circumstances, perhaps stealth would have been the better approach.”

I hung my head, ashamed for
my impulsive behavior. “I felt… weaker there. That far away from the Connective brought up all my old and buried emotions and I gave into the dark impulse. I couldn’t control it. I guess that means there’s something wrong with me, right?”

Lily took both of my hands in hers. “No, there’s nothing wrong with you.
I feared this would happen. Without being integrated, the effects of the Connective would fade against the stronger and darker human emotions. It’s understandable,” she reassured. “In time, you’ll learn to let go of all of those primitive human sentiments.”

I don’t know how.
Clearing my throat, I stuffed it all back down, and changed subjects. “How are you going to dream-walk him, Roman? How does that work?”