Poseidia (19 page)

Later, i
n the shower, I lingered for a long time, allowing the stream of the water to dissipate my anger. It hadn’t been my intention to fight with Roman—I simply had too many things going on. Finding out my baby lived had brought up so many emotions. I let the water flow over me diluting my salty tears.

Empty of torment for the moment, I finished and changed my clothes. I headed down to the Healing Center where they let me in to see my baby and
provided a cot so I could camp out right there in front of the artificial womb. In the glow of the tank, I laid awake most of the night, watching every little movement in amazement.

I drifted off to sleep sometime in the wee hours of the morning. First came an onslaught of nightmares with David, then the dream changed and Roman entered. Somewhere in the midst of the dream, I called out to Roman
, and professed my love for him.

W
hoa.
I woke up startled, jerked awake by the realization. At first, I froze, trying to recall where I was.

Am I still on the cruise? Is David here?

Remembering where I was, I reassured myself.
I am safe.
That part of my life was over, but I wished the nightmares would stop.

I didn’t need the distraction of Roman anyway
—I needed to be stable in this new life in my own way, and not use someone else as a crutch to make it easier
. There’s a baby now to consider. It’s not only about me anymore.
Maybe that’s what is stressing me out.

The green hazy glow of the womb lit up the room.
My baby. My child. I’ll be a mother. It’s a huge deal and I can’t have any distractions.

Maybe Roman is right and I think too much.
Am I overanalyzing my feelings?

I can do this. This is now my life. I’m going to embrace it and stop resisting. Is that what Roman meant by conflict? See, now I doubt myself because some man said so. Shut up and listen to your own inner voice, Anna.

Grateful to them for saving my baby, and my life, I knew I needed to show it. Without them, both of us would have perished at David’s hand.
We wouldn’t have this chance. I’ll integrate and I won’t be scared.

I
ambled over to the womb. As I touched the container with both of my hands, the baby moved, reached an impossibly tiny hand toward me, and opened both very blue eyes. He, or she, so beautiful. Previously more awe, now a powerful love boomed toward my child. I’d never experienced a love so strong.
Maybe this is what my mother felt for me.

My heart tugged at the memory of her, and her
sacrificing love. It was the best gift she could have ever given me—to teach me what unconditional love was. A hand squeezed my shoulder—I glanced over it, and saw it was Lily.

“I knew
where to find you. Have you been here all night?” she asked in the softest of tones.

Nodding,
“I needed to be here.”

As
I embraced Lily, she rubbed our cheeks together and I felt instantly better.

She let go and said, “The baby is doing well, getting stronger every day.
As are you.”

“I’m ready.”

Lily nodded her head, understanding. “The integration is this evening. I have a day of preparation scheduled for you. First, some food. You haven’t eaten, I can tell.”

As
I turned and sent love to my baby, I whispered, “I’ll see you again soon, my love.”
And I’ll protect you with every ounce of my being. I’ll set this whole thing right. No one will ever have the chance to hurt you.

Ravenous, I suggested, “How about getting something, and then eating in the garden?”
Being outside, and not cooped up, would be good for my mood.

“A picnic it is. I’ll go get som
e food, and I’ll meet you there.”

Chapter
19

W
alking by myself to the garden, I realized how much stronger I’d become. I recognized the place where I’d first seen the dome and Roman, remembering how insecure I’d been then. That was a different me. Back then, I was consumed with fear and how to escape.

Now
Poseidia was my home. I had to protect it and its people. I’d made the mistakes—I alone had to correct them.

Lily returned with a picnic basket. We sat on the ground and ate fresh fruit,
bread, and some blue-green algae. Guarding my thoughts as we spoke, I couldn’t help rehashing the fight I had with Roman. Not to mention the angst I experienced every time I thought about how I’d stupidly left his knife.

I
have to find a way to get Roman’s knife back. It’s my fault and I’ll be the one to set it right.

She handed me a glass
of water. The clean, pure taste gave me a rush every time.

“Roman is gone,” Lily
announced.

“What? What do you mean gone?”
The revelation slammed me as if I’d been hit with a freight train. My stomach sank. Unable to catch my breath, my heart constricted.

What is wrong with me? Why should I care? He means nothing to me anyway. I have other things to worry about. I barely know him
—I could care less.

A strong, torturing sense of abandonment wrapped itself around my throat
, my heart feeling mutilated. All because of a stupid fight. Words I wished had been left unsaid.
I’m doing it again. Focus, girl, you got this.

Opening the bowl of
algae, I took a spoonful, but it had no taste.

“He left last night. I wondered how you would feel about the news.”

“Why should I care if he leaves?” Conflicted and unable to stop my masochistic curiosity, I ventured softly, “Where did he go?”
Damn it! Don’t care.

Lily curiously studied my face.
“He went to Atlia, one of the other cities. He moves around, training. Didn’t he tell you?”

“Not really—
only that he left to go there the other day.” After our fight, I feared he would never want to see me again. “When will he be back? What about the knife?” I closed my eyes in regret.

“I’m not sure
, he didn’t say. He can take care of all security issues from there.”

He may not return.
Another punch to the gut.
It doesn’t matter. I don’t care—I can’t care.
“Did he talk to you about the difficulty he had trying to dream-walk David?” I calmed my breathing.

“Yes
—it’s a situation we have to monitor, but nothing to worry too much about.”

“It
seems pretty important to me.”

“Your integration is more important.
You’re becoming a part of our Connective on a more permanent level.”

“I need to apologize to Roman about something,” I
mumbled. Shamefully, I hung my head, regretting every word I had yelled at him. If I never saw him again it was my own fault, I remained too human on the inside. I was not as evolved as these people—I despaired of ever rising above my emotions.

“I’ll tell him you wish to speak to him.”

“How do you communicate?” I asked, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

“Through
the Connective, I can send him a message.”

“You can?” I couldn’t
fathom reading someone’s mind let alone sending them a telepathic email.

How much has Roman been able to read of mine? Will I know what he thought of me after integration?
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. More disappointment wasn’t something I could handle right now. Maybe some things were better left a mystery.

She nodded. “After the integration, perhaps you will too.”

“I’ll be able to read people’s minds?” No—I couldn’t imagine.

“We’re unsure how you will change.
But it’s a common ability here.”

“That’s kind of scary
.” Trying to keep my thoughts guarded, I shivered.

“There’s nothing to fear. It’s safe.”

“After the integration, will I get certain privileges?” An old urge to run far, far away, came over me. The safety of the dome, now closed in on me with the weight of the ocean, suffocating.

“To what do you refer?”

“What about a key to the portals?” I sucked in my breath, being bold, but it was the only way to get what I wanted. If I could get a key then maybe I could track down Roman’s knife. Taking my shaky hands, I rubbed the back of my neck attempting to ease the building tension.

“Perhaps that can be arranged. You’re not a
prisoner.” She finished eating.

“Then I can come and go as I please?”

“With supervision, of course.”

“Do you think I’ll be ready for integration?”
I swallowed, audibly.

“It’s not only about physical strength and training.
Primarily the experience is mental. You have become more comfortable with meditation, understanding energy, and boundaries.”

“Roman said
opening the connection would hurt. Is that true?”

“He did, did he? Well, I hope it doesn’t hurt, but we do not
know for certain. It has been many years since we have done this. Roman is speaking about his experience. We have advanced our technology since then. He suffered a lot with the process, unfortunately.”

He
suffered?
“Were you here when he integrated?”

“No, he’s older than me. My mother worked with him though, and she told me of his struggle.”

“How old is Roman?” There, I said it. He alluded, but never gave me direct answers about anything.

“We don’t think in terms of years as humans do. Our lives are too long and we lose track. I don’t know how to translate to human years the way you want to know.”

“Are you immortal?” The thought hadn’t crossed my mind before, but you never know. I felt stupid asking, but if they were—I wanted to know how long I was in for.

“No one is immortal. That suggests one cannot die, and we can. We live long lives because we have certain advantages.”

“You mean hibernation? It sounds scary.” I laughed nervously.

“
And the water you drink,” she said, pointing to the cup. “It’s very pure, from deep inside the earth. Full of mineral and elements which fight aging and alkalize the body against biological disease.”

“I noticed I’ve healed much faster here than I would have if I was human.” I raised my hand to my face and felt how soft my skin had become. Then I placed my hand over my heart and
observed the steady, strong beat of it beneath my fingertips. It had stopped racing and my nerves settled.

Curiously,
I looked around the small garden. Statues stood along the edges of the dome, almost hidden behind massive amounts of shrubbery and fruit trees. Ten male and ten female figures formed a semi-circle bordering the dome. I hadn’t noticed them before, but apparently, there was a lot I missed.

I
walked over to the one closest to me. It was a white marble statue of a man with a trident in his hands.

“
Who is this?”

“This is our king—King
Mestor.” Lily joined me.

“Will I ever meet him?”
I watched her gaze lovingly at the statue.

She looked at me.
“Yes. In fact, he has requested a meeting with you after the integration.”

“Oh, really? A meeting with me? Whatever for? I’m not important.”

“What you need to know and understand about our king before you meet him… is recent circumstances have made him weak. Our king has suffered great losses. His wife and all his children were kidnapped and executed several months ago
.
” She looked down—a profound sadness crossed her face, one even my weak perception felt clearly.

“Oh my goodness. What happened?”
I glanced back up at the ten-foot man, forever immortalized in marble. His face seemed familiar to me.

“We have enemies. A colony
who disconnected several decades ago, grow in their anger. Their king, King Mestor’s brother, died of unknown causes. Left with no king their society deteriorated. Because they are not a part of the Connective anymore, they turned to darkness and regressed to primitive emotions, such as greed, jealousy, and anger. It became chaos and many were murdered. We have tried to regain control over them, but they violently resist. They recently kidnapped his wife and children and held them for ransom.” A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away, as if trying to hide it.

“Seriously? That kind of stuff happens down here?”
My heart squeezed in fear.

“
Unfortunately, maintaining a Connective is a delicate balancing act. The kings are the only ones powerful enough.”

“How do they hold it together?”
I glanced around at the other statues in the semi-circle, feeling a strong pull to touch each one.

“That is a secret of the Ancestors
, only they know.”

“Well, what did th
e colony want for ransom? I take it if the king’s family was murdered they didn’t get what they asked for.” I looked over at the female statue next to King Mestor and guessed it was his wife, the queen.

“They want
ed control over the fountain, and all the treasure. They want to colonize and take over the land, destroying all human life on earth. It is forbidden to give into demands of that nature.” She walked over to the statue of the queen and reverently touched her hand.

“Fountain?”

“The water we drink is from an ancient fountain protected by Poseidia. It helps maintain our longevity. To have control over it is to wield great power over our communities. Abuse of that power would be catastrophic.” Lily turned back to face me.

L
ooking back at the king’s statue, my heart broke for him. “I feel bad for King Mestor. How awful to have your whole family murdered. I can’t even imagine the pain he must be going through.”

“
It is horrible. The king’s grief harmed our community. Unfortunately, we had to remove him from the Connective before we became dark ourselves.”

“You removed him from
the Connective? You can do that? I thought the Connective would lift him up and keep him happy?”

“For major traumas
, such as the one King Mestor has gone through, the Connective is not enough in the short term to heal him. It is for the good of the whole, not the individual here. And it is simply a temporary measure, giving the pain time to ease, as his power needs to be restored soon or we will suffer the same fate as the other community. The Council has been maintaining our Connective, but we fear it will not be enough to maintain it long term.”

Listening to their monumental problems, made my anxieties about my status with Roman insignificant. A spat I’
d get over in no time was trivial compared to the losses their king suffered. Feeling small for wasting my time and energy worrying, I glanced briefly at the remaining statues, but didn’t ask about any of the others. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

We finished packing up the basket and went back to the meditation room. After an hour or so Lily
announced, “We have time before the integration, we should soak in the mud baths—it would be good preparation for your body.”

“Yeah, but wer
en’t there naked people there?”

She tilted her head to the side
as if to ponder what I’d said. “You’ll enjoy it. It feels great, and removes toxins from your body. After all the training, you’ll need it.”

Relenting for the moment, I followed her across the city, and into the Healing Center. On the walk there, I rehearsed in my head a way to talk myself out of this. I remembered the first time I’d seen the mudroom and how the people had mingled naked
. All the anxiety I had cleansed with meditation crept back into my belly. Still worried about the fate of the Connective, I did my best to put it out of my mind. A relaxing soak did sound tempting.

Lily
led me into a small room off to the side of the mud pools, undressed, and grabbed a towel, motioning me to follow. I fumbled, stalling in my feeble attempts to avoid this.
Oh, to hell with it. This causes me too much stress and if they are apparently not bothered by my imperfect body, why should I be?
She turned her back and I dropped my dress, but quickly tucked a towel in tightly around myself.

She walked tall, proud, and confident into the mudroom.
Sure wish I could be so bold.
I tucked the towel tighter, knowing I wouldn’t get away with modesty here.
Across the room, I saw several other pools bubbling with steaming water.

“Those are hot mineral water soaks
—hot spring water comes up through the ocean floor. We’ll do that after the mud soak.” She led me to the black mud pool.