Possession: Steel Brothers Saga: Book Three (2 page)

D
r. Carmichael was
silent for a moment. Then, “I see. You weren’t kidding when you said you had come through something horrific.”

I cleared my throat. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Not that I thought you were. I figured it was something like this. Can you talk a little more about it?”

Oddly, now that I’d said the word—the word I’d kept so tightly bound within my mind for so many years—I wanted to speak. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened. And I wanted her to help me. My nerves were rattled, and my pulse raced, but I wanted—
needed
—to continue.

“Yes, I believe I can.”

“All right, go on.”

“They kept me locked up for over a month. Close to two, although I didn’t know that at the time. The days and nights blurred together, and I had no idea how long I’d been there or what day it was when I left.”

“So there were three of them?”

I nodded. “I don’t remember a whole lot about them. The one who took the lead had a phoenix tattoo on his left forearm. And he had dark-brown eyes. I only remembered that recently, during the guided hypnosis.”

“He seems to be the one that most of your rage is directed at.”

“I’ve no love lost for any of them, believe me.”

“Then why the focus on him? He’s the one you dreamed about killing.”

Why was it him? I hated all three of them to the depths of my soul. But the one with the tattoo—that mythical bird that had come to have such a contradictory meaning in my life—that one I abhorred.

I didn’t know until that very moment that degrees of hate existed. But yes, I hated him most of all.

“Like I said, he was kind of the leader. Or at least that’s how it seemed to me. And he had the biggest…”

God, did I really want to go there?

“Biggest what?”

I gulped. I was all in at this point. No more holding back. “He had the biggest dick. It hurt the worst when he went first.”

Dr. Carmichael sat, unmoving, her lips thinning slightly. “I know this is very hard for you to talk about, Talon. So if you need to stop, just tell me. I don’t have a session after yours, so we can keep going if you’d like.”

What the hell? The orchard could wait. Axel was a good man. He’d take care of everything. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep going, Doc, but I can try.”

“I understand. Just tell me if you need to stop.”

“All right.”

Dr. Carmichael cleared her throat. “Tell me about the other two.”

I closed my eyes, swallowing. “They were never as real to me as the tattoo man was. In fact, I began to think of him as Tattoo and one of the others as Low Voice. Not that his voice was abnormally low or anything. It probably wasn’t even as low as mine is now. Maybe he just talked louder, but at that time, when I was ten, it seemed to me like he had a low voice.”

“I see. And the third?”

“The third one was kind of in the background a lot. He was the one who always brought me food and changed the bucket where I did my business.”

“Are you saying he didn’t participate?”

“Oh, no. He participated. He just seemed like more of a follower than the other two, you know what I mean?”

“How did you feel about the fact that he brought you food?”

How did I feel? I had no idea where she was going. “What, you mean I was supposed to have some kind of affection for him because he fed me?”

She shook her head. “Of course not. But he
is
the one who fed you.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled. “He fed me slop, Doc. It wasn’t fit for pigs most of the time. But I was starving, so I ate it.”

“I see.”

But did she really see? She kept a noncommittal look on her face the entire time. I couldn’t read her at all. Not that I was any good at reading people.

“I’m sorry you—”

I stood abruptly. “His toe.”

“What do you mean?”

“I remembered something recently about the third guy, the one who brought my food. He’s missing his little toe on his left foot.”

“Really? So we have one guy with a phoenix tattoo on— Which forearm?”

“The left.” I sat back down and rubbed my temples.

“Okay. So he has a phoenix tattoo on his left forearm and he has brown eyes. And one of the others has a low voice, at least as you remember it, and the third is missing his little toe on his left foot, correct?”

I nodded.

“Talon, have you ever thought of trying to catch these men and bring them to justice?”

“My brothers have mentioned it from time to time. But Doc, I don’t ever want to see them again. I wouldn’t recognize them if they walked by me on the street anyway. They were always wearing masks. And honestly, if we did catch them. I’d just as soon dole out my own kind of justice.”

“I certainly understand that feeling. But you do know that doling out your own kind of justice would land you in prison for life.”

“Of course I know that. I’m not an idiot.”

“I didn’t mean to imply that you were. But I do know that sometimes the need for revenge can overwhelm a person.”

“It doesn’t really matter anyway. We’ll never catch the guys. If they had any sense, they’d be long gone by now.”

“Yes, they probably are.”

“My older brother, Joe, he’d like to hire somebody to try to find them. I’ve always told him no.”

“Why?”

“Because I just don’t want to open it all up again.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”

“Yes, but this is for me to heal, isn’t it?”

“You’re exactly right. You need to heal whether those men are caught or not. And I guess that’s my point.”

I sighed. “I don’t think there’s a chance in hell we’d ever be able to find them, Doc. They worked this area twenty-five years ago, abducted seven of us, and I was the only one to make it out alive.”

“Are you positive the same men took the other children?”

Was I? I had just always assumed. “There’s no way to know for sure, except for one.”

“Your friend. The boy named Luke.”

I nodded.

“You said he was never found.”

“He wasn’t. But I was the last one to see him.”

“Did you see him alive?”

“No.” I shook my head, my heart stampeding. “He was already dead.”

“Talon, there’s something I want you to understand.”

“What’s that?”

“None of this is your fault.”

“I know that.” But did I really? All those horrid days, when no one came for me, I’d sat there on that stupid raggedy blanket in that stupid gray cellar thinking I was worthless. No other reason existed for no one to come for me. “I mean, I
think
I know that.”

She nodded. “What you mean is that you know that objectively. That as an adult, you know it was just chance that you were taken, and it could have easily been any other little boy in the area. You didn’t deserve what happened to you any more than any of those other children did. Of course you know that. But the horror still lives inside you, and it has affected your life up until now.”

That was the goddamned truth for sure.

“So even though you know it and can take a step back and look at the situation objectively and say to yourself, ‘this wasn’t my fault,’ it still lives inside you and affects the way you view yourself.”

“I guess that’s where you come in, Doc.”

She smiled, and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “It may not be easy, but I promise you, I will not stop until we get you where we need you to be.”

“Doc? I’m okay.”

One tear fell down her cheek. “I know you are. And you’re going to be even better.”

“Then why the tears?”

“Because this is why I became a therapist, Talon. For days like today.”

“What’s so special about today?”

She grabbed a tissue from the box on her coffee table and wiped her eyes. “Today was the day you admitted what happened. That was the first true step in the healing process. We’re not done by a long shot. It may not be pretty from here on out, but I promise you, it will at least be downhill.”

I
didn’t want
to be alone, but I couldn’t bring myself to drive out to the ranch. It was Friday, and Marj was in the city at her cooking class. I was freaking about Larry and also about Colin being missing. I was over Colin for sure, but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. This was a man I’d once loved, had almost spent my life with. Granted, he’d turned out to be far from the man I’d thought he was, but I still didn’t wish him any ill.

Where was he?

Talon surely had nothing to do with Colin’s disappearance…but I feared he might.

Talon and his brothers were good men, but even gentle and even-tempered Ryan had become rattled during their last interaction with Colin.

I desperately wanted to see Talon. Would he be home? I didn’t know. Would he want to see me?

Last time we had been together, he’d told me that something unimaginable had happened to him. He was probably talking about something that had happened while he was in the Marines. But maybe…

I had told him that no matter what happened, nothing would change how I felt about him. And that was the God’s honest truth.

I finished making myself a grilled cheddar-and-tomato sandwich, and I plunked down on my futon to eat it with a glass of red wine.

I had given Talon my love. I had given him my trust. I had assured him my feelings wouldn’t change no matter what kind of secrets he was hiding.

What else could I do?

He had to come to me.

He was convinced he wasn’t worthy of me. I couldn’t begin to guess why he felt that way. What could’ve happened to him that was so horrible he had tried like hell to get himself killed while he was overseas? He had admitted as much to me. He didn’t think of himself as a hero, even though the rest of the world did—or at least those who knew about what happened. Wendy Madigan had done a good job of covering it up to most of the world.

The six people he’d saved that day—what must they think of him? Surely he was a hero to them. If I had time, I’d look them up next week. Maybe they could shed some light on what had happened to Talon over there.

I finished my sandwich and wine and took my dishes to the kitchen—or rather across the room. My little studio apartment was cozy but comfortable. I was making a decent income now, and I’d be able to save up for a down payment on a car pretty quickly. Once I did that, I’d be able to move to a better place.

I grabbed my cell phone when it rang. My father. We hadn’t talked in a while. He wasn’t one for phone calls, just the occasional text checking in. My nerves jumped. If he was calling, it was probably not for a good reason.

“Hey, Dad,” I said. “What’s going on?”

“Hi, sweetie.”

“Are you okay?”

My father cleared his throat. “I’m fine, Jade.”

“Then why are you calling?”

“It’s your mother. She’s been in an accident.”

My heart raced. There was no love lost between my mother and me. I’d last seen her a couple of weeks before, when she and her current boyfriend had been in Grand Junction. She had treated me to an expensive dinner, let me swim in her swanky five-star hotel pool, and that was that. She’d said goodbye with an air kiss to my cheek.

“Oh my God, is she okay?”

“I don’t know all the details yet. But it doesn’t look good, sweetie.”

“What… Where is she? Is she back in Iowa with her boyfriend?”

“No, she’s in Grand Junction. I figured you’d want to go to her. I’m driving out first thing tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to, Dad. I can take care of this. She’s my mother. She’s not your wife anymore. She hasn’t been for a long time. You really don’t owe her anything.”

“I know. And you don’t owe her anything either, Jade. But I loved her once, and she gave me the greatest gift in the world. You. And I want to be there for you, sweetie.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Having my strong father here would make this a lot easier. “Okay, Daddy,” I said. “What hospital is she at? I’ll leave now.”

“Valleycrest,” he said. “All I know is that she’s been badly injured, and she was in surgery when I got the call a few minutes ago. I wish I could be with you tonight.”

“Don’t worry about that, Dad. I’ll be fine. I love you.” I ended the call.

My first instinct should’ve been to call Marj. She was my best friend in the whole world, and she was the one I always went to when I needed someone. But I didn’t want Marj right now. I wanted her brother.

Talon.

Not the optimal way for him to meet my mother, but I needed him with me. Would he come if I asked? Only one way to find out. I punched in his number.

“Hi, blue eyes.”

“Hi,” I replied.

“What’s up?”

“I need to see you. Please. Can you go to Grand Junction with me tonight?”

“I’ve had a rough day, blue eyes. Why do you need to go to the city tonight?”

“I’m so sorry you had a bad day. I truly am. But I need you. My mother… She’s been in an accident. She’s at Valleycrest Hospital in Grand Junction. In surgery. I’ve been told it’s not looking good. That’s all I know.”

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. Of course I’ll come with you.”

My heart leaped. “I can drive to the ranch and pick you up.”

“No, I’ll come and get you. I don’t want you driving when you’re upset. I’ll be there in about a half hour.”

“What about Roger?” I asked, referring to Talon’s cute little mutt. “Marj is in the city tonight too.”

“I’ll text Ry to let him out in the morning. Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.”

“Talon, thank you so much. Thank you,” I whispered into the phone, my body numb.

I sniffed, my eyes moistening, but couldn’t yet bring myself to cry for a mother I didn’t even love but who still meant something to me.

“You okay, blue eyes?”

I sniffed again. “Yeah.”

“Everything will be all right. Now you stay put. I’ll be there before you know it.” Silence. Then, “And I love you.”

My heart doubled in size. “I love you too, Talon.”

* * *

W
e hadn’t said
a lot during our drive to the city. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot, Talon dropped me off at the entrance. “Go and see what’s going on. I’ll find a space and be right in.”

I shot from the car, walking briskly in. I stopped at the registration desk. “I need to find my mother. Brooke Bailey.”

The woman typed into her computer. “I’m not seeing anything.”

“She was in an accident.”

“Then you have to check with the ER.”

“But she’s in surgery! Surely you must—”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. You need to check with the ER. Down the hall to your right.”

Could she have been any ruder? I turned quickly and nearly ran down the hallway.

The ER was full, of course. I had to wait in a fucking line of people. If my mother had been admitted, why didn’t the hospital have a record of it?

Talon arrived about ten minutes later, when I was finally the next in line to talk to the receptionist.

“Anything yet?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I’m still waiting to find out what’s going on.”

The person ahead of me took a seat, and the receptionist nodded to me. “Yes, may I help you?”

“I’m looking for my mother. Brooke Bailey. She was in an accident.” God, I didn’t even know what type of accident it had been. I had assumed a car wreck.

The receptionist typed on her computer. “Yes, she’s in surgery.”

“What happened? Is she okay?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you any more than that. You’ll have to talk to her doctor.”

Talon stepped up. “This is ridiculous. This is her daughter, for God’s sake. Can’t you give her any peace of mind at all?”

The receptionist’s hard eyes softened as she raked her gaze over Talon. “I wish I could, sir. I understand how she must be feeling.”

“Surely you can type into your computer and tell us what Ms. Bailey is having surgery for, can’t you?”

She smiled, and for a moment I thought—

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not allowed to give out medical information. You’ll have to talk to the doctor or nurse. I’ll let the charge nurse know you’re here, and she’ll be out to talk to you as soon as she can.” She looked to me. “What’s your name, young lady?”

“Jade. Jade Roberts. I’m her daughter.”

She typed something on her keyboard. “Just find a seat. The nurse will be with you shortly.”

Talon heaved a sigh. “Fine. We appreciate your help.”

He took my arm and led me to two empty seats. We were surrounded by sniffling kids and moaning adults, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

My heart beat a rapid staccato. Did I actually care about my mother? This was news to me. Tears choked me, and I fought a war inside my head and heart. I wanted to cry for her. Why?

Talon squeezed my hand. “Okay?”

And the dam burst. The tears I had been holding back flooded my eyes. I hiccupped softly, willing myself not to break down. Talon pulled a red bandana out of his pocket and handed it to me.

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

What was wrong with me?

The answer was clear. She was my mother. She had given me life, and I had to be grateful for that. But for her, I wouldn’t be here sitting next to the man I loved.

Talon held my hand, and we sat silently until a woman wearing green scrubs walked toward us.

“Ms. Roberts?”

“Yes. I’m Jade Roberts.”

“You’re here about Brooke Bailey?”

“Yes. I’m her daughter. What can you tell me?”

“She was in a head-on collision. She was in the passenger seat of the vehicle, and her airbag didn’t deploy.”

I gasped. “Who was driving?”

“A friend of hers. He wasn’t injured badly. Just got the wind knocked out of him by the airbag and some minor bruises, possibly a broken rib. He’s been discharged.”

“And my mother?”

“Severe lacerations, contusions, and abrasions. Broken knee, ribs, bruised pelvis. Possible internal and brain injuries. Right now the doctors are trying to get her stabilized.”

Brain injury? “Oh my God.”

Talon squeezed my hand.

“Luckily she was wearing her seat belt. Otherwise she’d be dead.”

“Why didn’t the airbag…” I couldn’t wrap my mind around this.

“We don’t know, ma’am. Airbags aren’t foolproof.”

“Who was she with?”

“A man. Nico Kostas. He’s up in the surgery waiting area, I think.”

“That’s her boyfriend.” I breathed. “They had no record of her at admissions.”

“They should. Though sometimes it takes a little while for our databases to update. She was admitted about two hours ago. We called the person in her wallet identified as an emergency contact. A Brian Roberts.”

“That’s my father. He’s driving up tomorrow. He lives in Denver.”

“You two can wait with her friend up in surgery. Come on. I’ll have someone take you up there.”

Talon rose and helped me up. We followed the nurse to an orderly. The young man took us up the elevator and across a hall to a waiting area.

Nico sat, his head in his hands. He wore a navy-blue tailored suit and a black-and-red tie, which was still tied at his neck. Shiny black leather shoes. I approached him.

“Nico, hello.”

He looked up. “Brooke’s daughter?”

“Yes, Jade.”

“Of course. Jade. My mind isn’t working very well at the moment.”

“I understand.” I looked to Talon. “This is my—” My what? My friend? That would be insulting. My boyfriend? We weren’t in high school. My lover? “Talon Steel.”

Nico turned and regarded Talon for a moment before holding out his hand.

“Nico Kostas.” He shook Talon’s hand and then raked his fingers through his coal-black hair.

“What happened?” I asked.

Nico shook his head. “It’s all a blur. We were driving down Stetler Road after dinner. It was quiet, and all of a sudden out of nowhere, a truck plowed into our lane and hit us head on. The other driver wasn’t injured at all, like me. I don’t understand what could have happened with the airbag. I…” He squeezed his eyes shut, and a tear emerged.

“It’s not your fault,” I said, hoping I was speaking the truth.

He opened his eyes. “I’m glad you’re here. I can’t stay any longer. I have to catch a flight back to Des Moines, and I’m already running late.”

“You mean you aren’t staying?” Did he care so little about my mother?

“I wish I could. But I can’t get out of this. Brooke will understand.”

Maybe Brooke would, but I sure as hell didn’t. “Fine. Have a good flight.” I took a seat.

Talon sat down beside me as Nico left the waiting area.

“Nice guy, huh?” I said to Talon.

“Maybe he does have somewhere to be,” Talon said, “although…”

“Although what?”

Talon pursed his lips. “He seemed beside himself with worry and concern when we got here, and now all of a sudden he takes off?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” I said. “But I don’t have time to worry about her boyfriend being an ass. I need to find out about my mother.”

“She’s been in surgery for a while. Someone is bound to know something soon.” Talon smiled.

God, his smile. He smiled more now. When I first met him several months ago, getting a smile out of him had been like pulling teeth out one by one.