Praying for Grace (20 page)

“Ok,” I said, looking back down at baby Hope.

“So you will?”

“I will.”

I winced as my belly cramped again. I had forgotten already about the pains that followed birth. Gus helped me scoot down in the bed and settled Hope next to me. He promised to stay awake to watch over her while we slept. He knew I was terrified that she’d stop breathing, as Molly had. I nursed her for a short time before we both fell asleep.

The next four hours were the best I had slept in months. Gus woke me as soon as Hope began to stir. At first, I feared he was waking me to tell me that she had passed away, as Molly had. Seeing the fear in my eyes, he quickly calmed me.

“It’s ok, she’s just waking up hungry,” he said as he smiled down at both of us. “Laura brought in some old towels that she cut down to use for diapers. I’ve already changed her.”

Our new baby had one eye open and was smacking her lips hungrily. I touched her cheek lightly and she turned her face toward me in search of a meal. 

“She needs a bath,” I said gently as I smiled at her.

“I’ll ask Laura to warm some water while you feed her.”

“Gus?”

“Ayup?”

“Thank you.”

“For what, darlin’?”

“For her. For you. Just for everything.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll be back in a few minutes, ok?”

“Ok.”

He left the room to find Laura, and I adjusted myself in the bed, sitting up so that I could hold Hope to my breast. She was warm and making soft little noises as she searched eagerly. One of her little hands caressed my breast as she suckled. I slipped my thumb under her palm and looked at her pudgy fingers. Her skin was soft. Everything about her was amazing. Everything about her was good, in a world full of bad.

Before long, Laura and Gus came back to the family room. They both smiled at the sight of me and the baby. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Everyone else is asleep,” said Laura. “I heated water in the kitchen so both mama and baby can get cleaned up. Gus can help you while I get a proper bed ready for you guys.”

“Thanks Laura,” I said quietly while Hope continued to feed.

“I also left some rice and meat on the kitchen table for both of you. You’ll need it to get your strength back.”

“Can I ask you one more favor, Laura?” asked Gus.

“Anything.”

“Do you mind holding the baby so I can get Zoe taken care of first? I don’t want her getting up alone for the first time in case she’s weak.”

“Do I mind?” chuckled Laura. “I’d be thrilled to hold the little one.”

***

Gus helped me to the bathroom, where I was able to do my private business and shower. Even though the water was cold, it felt good to rid myself of the mess of birth and hours of built up sweat. Once I was done, Gus set me up at the kitchen table, where I began eating the food that Laura had left out for us. Gus excused himself to get Hope, saying he’d eat later. I was pretty sure the meat was rabbit that had been stir fried with fresh vegetables from her garden. I hadn’t realized that I was as hungry as I was until I began eating.

Before long Gus walked in, carrying Hope in his arms. He looked like a natural.

“Someone’s ready for her first bath,” he said.

“Is Laura coming in?” I asked.

“Nah. She headed back to bed. Poor thing was exhausted after everything today.”

“She’s sweet. I really like her.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I stood and joined Gus by the sink, where a pot of hot water had been cooling. It was just warm enough for Hope’s bath. He asked me if I wanted to bathe her, but I declined. She was too new, and too small. I was afraid I’d hurt her. Instead, I watched as he gently poured warm water on her and followed with soap. She cried when he rinsed her off.

I walked beside him as he carried her down the hallway, wrapped in a towel, to the bedroom that had belonged to Alice. It was still the middle of the night and dark, but Laura had left a couple of candles lit beside the bed. Gus laid Hope down on the bed and finished drying her off. She was still pink, but clean now. Her head was covered in fine white hair. In looking at her beautiful eyes more closely, I realized that her tiny eyelashes were white as well.

“Gus, why’s her hair so light?”

He sighed. “I’ve noticed it too. We’ll need to watch her, but it might be albinism.”

“Be what?” I asked, being unfamiliar with the term.

“An albino. Her eyes are so light, and her hair.”

“What if she is? What does it mean?”

“Worst case scenario we need to keep her out of sunlight. Possible blindness down the road.”

I climbed onto the bed and leaned over Hope, kissing her on the head.

“I’ll love her no matter what.”

“She’ll be ok.”

I knew he couldn’t promise that.

***

The next weeks passed as the six of us got to know each other better. Hope worried us constantly as her growth continued at a rapid rate. She ate almost non-stop and at almost a month old looked and acted at least twice her age. It was clear by now that she indeed was albino, as Gus had thought. Her hair was fine as silk and white as can be, and her eyes remained pale blue. She seldom cried or fussed and brought joy to us all. She didn’t appear to have any health issues, and seemed to be thriving. Gus and I each felt a connection to her on the deep level that we connected with each other. Sometimes, I’d hold her as she slept and I could feel the emotions of her dreams. Hoot quickly took on the role of uncle, and Laura and Clark were thrilled to treat her like a grandchild. It wasn’t the family I had imagined having one day, but I was thrilled to have them all in our lives.

Laura and I spent most of our time in her garden, which now included an expansive green house that Gus and Hoot had made out of logs from the nearby forest and clear plastic sheeting that Clark had left over from when they had first built the house. We hoped it would work well enough to provide fresh produce through the coming winter. Laura was teaching me how to can fruits and vegetables, as well as fish that we caught from a nearby stream. We had no plans to leave the little concrete house built into the hill. It was home now. It had been weeks since we had seen any of the dead. Or the living. Still, we lived on edge, always expecting the worst.

Four weeks to the date after her birth, Gus and I vowed to love and cherish each other, along with Hope, in front of our new family. We celebrated with homemade wine and a wild roast turkey that was stuffed with cornmeal, potatoes, and herbs.

ONE YEAR LATER

Our first winter was tough on us all. We lost most of our garden when snowfall collapsed one end of the greenhouse. Luckily, Laura and I had done a significant amount of canning and Hoot and Gus kept a makeshift outdoor cooler full of small game. Summer brought with it new hope as the surrounding land began to thaw. Our daughter was nearly a year old now, but the size of a two year old. She had learned to walk, but was still a bit unsteady on her legs. She hadn’t uttered a word yet, but loved to laugh at her daddy. Her eyes remained a shade of blue paler than the sky and her white hair had grown to her shoulders. Luckily, she didn’t seem bothered by the sun despite her pale skin.

“You ladies ready?” asked Gus, staring at us from the open doorway of our bedroom.

I smoothed the knee-length patchwork dress that Laura had made for Hope out of scraps of fabric she had lying around and patted her bottom as she toddled toward her dad.

“All ready,” I said with a smile.

“Laura packed lunch,” Gus said as he scooped Hope into his arms. “Can you say ‘lunch’?” he asked her.

She responded by giggling at him.

“That’s Daddy’s big girl,” he said as he gave her a kiss on her pale cheek.

“I’ll be right behind you,” I said.

“We’ll wait for you by the front door.”

“Ok.”

It was our first big outing, all six of us together. Laura preferred to stay close to home, but Clark had talked her into joining us on a brief hunting expedition disguised as a picnic. Hoot and Clark packed rifles in the off chance we came across any big game, or the dead.

The air outside the home was crisp and fresh. The sky was blue and a gentle breeze blew. We hiked for almost a mile. Hope insisted on walking part of the time, but Gus carried her as much as she’d allow.

We stopped to eat lunch in a meadow bordered on one side by the edge of a glacier. Hope refused to eat anything but the chocolate chip cookies that Laura had baked that morning. She was busy playing in the nearby wildflowers while the rest of us ate roasted marmot that Clark had shot just the day before. It had been so long since I had felt the dead inside of my mind that I didn’t realize it wasn’t Gus or Hope I was feeling. By the time I was aware of the creature’s hunger, Hope was almost to it. I stood, dropping my plate of food, and began to run toward her.

“Hope!” I screamed.

My little girl turned to look at me, and then looked away. My stomach dropped in fear. I could sense Gus close behind me. I could sense his thoughts.
How could we have let her go so far
… Panic set in as Hope quickly approached the edge of the glacier that sat across the meadow. That’s when I first saw it. It looked like half a man. It was reaching toward her, but not advancing. At first I thought it was missing its lower half.

“Hope!
Stop
!” I screamed shrilly.

To my horror, she continued toward the creature. It wasn’t approaching her and appeared to only be a torso, which was oddly upright. I could feel its hunger in my head. The familiar hunger of the newly risen. Its only goal was to feed, and it wanted my daughter. It craved her flesh in a way that I had never felt one of the dead crave flesh before.

“Hope!” screamed Gus, who I sensed only steps behind me.

She reached the creature only a couple of yards before we could get there. It reached its arms toward her in desperation. She stood before it, seemingly unafraid. The dead man dropped his arms as she took two final baby steps toward him. It seemed transfixed by her eyes. She reached one of her pudgy hands out and touched him on the forehead.

“Bye-bye,” she said suddenly. Her first words.

Gus passed me in his rush to reach Hope. He scooped her up and swung her away from the threat, holding her close.

I looked down at the Roamer, who was now slumped forward and lifeless. His lower half was frozen in the ice.

“Holy shit,” said Hoot as he reached us. “What the fuck happened?”

“Bye-bye,” said Hope with a giggle, struggling to get out of Gus’ arms. He refused to let her go.

“It must have thawed,” I said.

I no longer sensed anything from the creature. I kicked at its head with my foot to make sure it was really dead. Its head fell backward. The creature’s left cheek was bruised and scuffed. Its left arm was twisted unnaturally, making me think its shoulder may have been dislocated at some point. The right side of its beige winter jacket had a label that said “Steve.”

“That’s mountain climbing gear,” said Gus, pointing to a pick axe frozen in the nearby ice. “He must have frozen up here, poor fucker.”

“Hope? Did you do this?” I asked her.

“Ma-ma. Bye-bye,” she muttered, pointing to the dead and still half frozen man.

My eyes filled with tears, hearing her first words. I reached up and touched her cheek gently. She shared with me her deepest thoughts, not using words. Our child had killed the creature with her touch. She knew it was evil. She knew she was here to rid the world of them.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Grace Lost (book one) is now available in audio!

http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Grace-Lost-Audiobook/B00LU1PEQI

Watch for
Schiessl House
, coming early 2015!

A chilling tale of a house most haunted.

FROM CHAPTER ONE: DEATH COMES FIRST

The truth is, I was born dead. It was a consequence, I’m told, of my mother not loving me. It wasn't the doctors or the nurses who brought me back to life. It wasn't my mother wrapping her arms around my lifeless newborn body nor was it her aching heart reaching out in desperate need of knowing me. She never held me. She never named me. As the story goes, she refused to even look at me. It wasn't the miracle of modern technology that brought me back from the land of shadows and silence. It was my father's tears that brought me to life, nearly two hours after my birth.

I grew up without either of my parents in my life.  Beyond that first day, I didn’t know either of them.  The woman who raised me said that she had been there at my birth and the hours that followed.  She had witnessed me draw my first breaths as my father held my cold blue body to his chest.  My mother had thought I was a child of the Devil, implanted within her womb by aliens from space.  My father felt compelled to care for her even in her insanity, so for my own safety he painfully left me behind to be cared for by others.  I was told that he sobbed in the end when they took me from him.  I had thought badly of him for his decision.  After all, my life so far had been one filled with happiness and love.  At least that’s what I told myself and the rest of the world…