Private Show (The Private Series) (27 page)

“I was wondering if I can be assigned to another journalist, ma’am.” I try to keep eye contact and refrain from tearing up; God knows I have cried enough to last a lifetime.

“Is there a problem with Mr. Mitchell?” she asks.

Shit. I didn’t think about the reason why I am asking for a new partner. “No, he is fine, Mrs. Fuller. I would just like to work with someone new. Maybe get some new experience.” There, that seems okay, doesn’t it?

“I see. Well, I have a few journalists here, and one who could take you on. Katherine Potvin, I am sure she would be more than happy to work with you. I will contact her right away.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, Tess, before I forget…” She reaches into a drawer in her desk and pulls out a white envelope. “Here is a little advance, if all goes well we will discuss your payroll.”

I take the envelope and thank her once more. I look around all corners as I exit Mrs. Fuller’s office. As soon as I step foot back into reception, I find Pete sitting at his desk typing something into his tablet. His head pops up. Crap.

“Tess!” He stands to give me a little hug. “It’s been way too long since I have seen you. Loving the pink hair, by the way it is fabulous on you! What are you doing in here so early?”

I talk about the New York show photos.

“I know that Hun, I know every appointment and every meeting that goes on in here…” He trails off, but I can see there’s something else he was going to say.

“Every what?”

He looks down. “Every call.”

“What do you mean, every call?” I ask, almost knowing the answer.

Eying me sympathetically, “All the calls that I have to forward to Ben’s office… the ones he ignores and they come to my desk.”

“Nicole?” I can feel my throat closing up and the tears well up again. I was in a way hoping that the whole Nicole situation with Ben was a figment of my imagination, but now, hearing Pete tell me about the calls makes it that much more real.

“Yeah, you know about her then, I take it?” he asks.

“Unfortunately.”

His jaw drops and I can see actual hurt on his face. As little time as I have known Pete, I love him. He is so sincere and full of love and compassion. He has a thing for life and doesn’t care to keep the negative around. “I am sorry love. But if it’s any consolation, he has been looking like shit these days.”

“What do you mean?”

He looks at the clock. “Well, if you stick around much longer you will see what I mean.”

I give Pete a little kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for the warning, I owe you one.”

“Here is my number, if you ever need to talk love.” He shoots me a blue Post-It.

I take it and I bolt for the stairs.

Erin’s condo is huge and decorated completely different than my small studio. Hers is full of creams and light blue accents. Clean and classic.

“What would you like to do tonight?” Erin asks.

I shrug. I still don’t want to get into the fact I know about her and Ben.

“Well, what do you say I run to the corner store and pick up a few pints of Ben and Jerry’s?”

She smiles when she sees my eyes light up.

“There’s my Tess. Something coffee-flavored, I assume?”

“You know me too well.”

By the time Erin gets back I am in my sweats and my favorite black T-shirt. She puts the brown bag down on the counter and pulls out four different pints. “What’d you do? Get every flavor they had?” I tease.

“Yes, actually.” She beams. “It’s a small store.” She laughs. “I tried calling you to give you an option, but when it went right to voicemail, I had to get one of each.”

“Oh, sorry about that. I haven’t turned my phone on much as of lately.”

Opening the pints and grabbing two spoons, she carries all of it to the living room and places it down on the coffee table. Sitting down next to her, she hands me a spoon.

“You have to face it sometime.”

“Can’t I just change my number?” I ask while taking a large spoonful of tiramisu-flavored ice cream.

Erin just gives me a
no you most certainly cannot
look.

“Oh.” I talk through a mouthful. “So, Caroline talked me into still standing for Gwen at the wedding.”

She chokes on a chunk of her double-triple chocolate fudge something or other. “Wow! I am shocked and impressed that you are still going through with it.” He eyes are bugging out of her head.

“Yeah, well, I made a commitment to Gwen. I love her, and appreciate all that she has done for me. Even if that means sucking back some tears and drop-me-to-my-knees heart ache… I will just have to do it.”

Speaking of holding back tears…

“You are stronger than you think, Tess. Everything that you have been through… I don’t know how you made it through.”

I clear my throat holding back the tears “Well… what do you think about being my date to the wedding?” I give her a half smile.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“Really? You don’t mind? I don’t want to mess up any plans you might have with James.”

“You are my best friend and you need me, and frankly I want to see the look on his face when you walk in the door, looking fabulous.” She pushes her chin up and grins.

God, I love my Erin.

No sign of Ben as I pull into Ben’s father’s house to meet with Caroline and do the last fitting for the wedding, which is tomorrow.

Caroline’s head is hanging a little lower today. At least she is still sporting her natural hair. Something is up though. I know we aren’t the closest, but I feel for this girl and I love her like my own sister. So obviously I am going notice something wrong.

“I’m okay. I think I am just nervous about the wedding.”

I don’t buy it. She has been excited about this wedding since day one, when Jack and Gwen invited us all to sit down.

“Are you sure that’s it?”

She shrugs, leads me inside, and up to her room.

I see the dress instantly and stride over to it. “Caroline! This is amazing! It is so beautiful.”

It really is. The dress is black and looks to be just above the knee and it is fitted to the body. The satin material shines modestly and the fabric ruches as it centers up the body. The top of the dress has tiny bead and sequin work at the bust, glimmering with deep emeralds, gold, and deep purple.

“You sure you like it?” she asks, not sounding much like herself.

“I freaking love it! You have some major talent, Caroline, you have to know that?”

“It’s just been a tough couple weeks.”

“Wanna talk about it? Is it about the guy you were telling me about?” I ask. I see her eyes start to tear up and I grab her for a hug. “What’s going on Caroline? I know something is up, you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know and thank you,” She sniffles and wipes her eyes with her covered wrists, from her decorated warmers. “Have you talked to Ben at all?” She asks.

“No, not for a little while, why?”

“He hasn’t really been answering mine and when he does they are short responses. It’s as if his head is somewhere else. If you do talk to him will you have him call me please? I need my big brother.”

Her words break my heart. I know what it’s like to need your brother and I have to feel guilty, because he is probably distracted by our own problems, that he is missing his sisters.

“Hello girls!” Gwen greets us while busting into the room.

She goes to try on her dress. Coming out of Caroline’s en-suite bathroom, she looks radiant. It’s a bright white dress with lace three-quarter sleeves, fitted at the bust and waist then it fans out into a just past the knee A-line skirt. No jewels like mine and Caroline’s dress’s, no, she didn’t need it.

“You really have outdone yourself, Caroline dear!” Gwen is in tears.

“You deserve it, Gwen. I am happy that my Dad finally found someone.”

Gwen wraps her arms around Caroline. “You know I could never replace your mother and she would be damn proud of the young woman you are becoming. I am honored to be part of your life, Caroline. I love you like my own daughter.”

Caroline cries softly. “I know, Gwen, and I love you. Dad couldn’t have found anyone better.”

OK, all of this is too much for me and I start to cry too. “OK! Give me my dress to try on, because all of these tears and words are going to kill me if I don’t do something!” I laugh it off.

In the bathroom, my dress fits to a T. Inspecting myself in the mirror, I try not to imagine Ben at the altar in a tux, standing there as a man by his father’s side. He has come so far, from what his family has spoken about of him. So why, oh, why has he drifted back to the whore who messed him up?

On my way out the door, I catch Caroline on her phone and she is crying, “What’s going on? You have to talk Caroline.”

“I thought he actually liked me like that…”

“Caroline?” I am getting really nervous.

“Dan. He took me home from Chatz that night, like Ben asked him too. He walked me in, my Dad and Gwen were out. I had always thought he was cute and had a crush on him for years growing up. I was a little girl into her big brother’s friend and he was in a band, what more can I say? So, I invited him in naturally. I was a little flirty…”

I can feel my face whiten even more than what it already is, “Caroline, did he…?”

“No, he stopped, but I honestly wanted him to keep going.” Her tone was too casual about sex at her age. I know teens are by far more active now than ever, but I wouldn’t picture Caroline…

“You’re so young Caroline, why would you want to sleep with a guy that is ten years older than you?” I need to know.

She looks down with a little half smile on her face, “He was paying attention to me.”

“What do you mean? Flirting?”

“I mean he was genuinely interested in my feelings.” She defends herself and him.

I put a hand on her shoulder, “Have you talked to your Dad or Gwen, hell even Ben about this? Didn’t your Dad mention you seeing a therapist?”

“No. I tried reaching out to Ben, but he’s been distant.” Her voice is barely audible.

“Caroline? Are you okay? I am worried about you. I was a teen once too and you know what? I had a hard time in school, between friends, my Dad and art. No one got it, why it was so important… why I dressed different and did different things. I didn’t want to fit in, but being out casted isn’t the easiest thing to deal with either.”

Her eyes meet mine, “I know the feeling.”

“I thought you might, that’s why I am letting you know that you are most certainly not alone. You have your family and now me. I will always be a phone call or text away.”

“Even if you and Ben break up?” She has a tone of doubt in her voice.

I swallow back a hard tear, “Even if that happens.”

Standing behind the French doors in the Mitchell home with Gwen and Caroline waiting to lead her down the aisle, I am grateful that the men are already down there and that Gwen didn’t see the need for the groomsmen to escort the girls down the aisle. She figured it was just Ben standing for his father and that wouldn’t be fair to Caroline to walk alone. I never told Gwen about my falling-out with Ben. She didn’t need that added… discomfort to her wedding spirit. Caroline had an idea, though; I mean, she is a teen girl.