Private Show (The Private Series) (26 page)

“Erin, just because I ran out of New York City to get away from my boyfriend who was probably fucking his ex, as I was boarding my plane, does not mean I need a John Hughes marathon.”

“Yes, it does.”

I roll my eyes. Deep down, I am loving the idea.

As the night goes on, I get more and more intoxicated. Because for every lead male in every movie we see, I picture Ben. I see Ben holding the boom box over his head under my window. I see Ben putting that diamond stud in his ear and throwing his fist in the air. I see Ben leaning against his car as I am leaving the church waiting for me.

The sun is coming up as I sit on my couch just staring out of the window. Erin is passed out on the floor next to me. I decide to get up and check my e-mail. I have an announcement e-mail from Maroon 5 to check out photos from their latest tour and for fans to tag themselves.

Not being able to resist a little Adam Levine in the morning, I click the link. Then I scream.

Erin bolts up and rushes over to me. “What the fuck is wrong?” She is panicking.

I throw my iPod in her face and jump up and down.

“The band fucking posted my photos from that show a while back! Adam posted them on the website!”

“That’s really great Tess, but do you think you could have eased that news to me? And not screech it at the tops of your lungs at the buttcrack of dawn?”

“Sorry,” I tell her but inside of my head I am doing a hula dance and fist pumping the air.

She climbs into my bed now and I continue to scroll through the photos. Then I see the one that has Adam, me and Ben in the photo. I look at the bottom of the page and it reads:
Photos taken by Tess Martin with Tones
Magazine.

The past twenty-four hours replay in my head just like that. What’s worse is I see flashes of Ben’s phone screen in my hand. I see the missed calls, the incoming texts. Then I see what I didn’t remember before… the text I had opened. It read:

If you want it, come get it
.

I’m going to be sick. I run to my bathroom in the nick of time to hail to the porcelain throne. When I empty my stomach of the wine and nothing else in there, I climb into my empty cool bath tub and close the shower curtain. I let it all out.

I pass out in my tub with the text burning in my brain. A couple hours later I hear screaming at my door. Curious, I creak my bathroom door and I hear Erin yelling.

“She doesn’t deserve a fucking cheating asshole like you! Just leave her alone!”

Then I hear the voice that used to bring me so much joy. Ben speaks up and he sounds distraught and aggravated. “Is she here? That’s all I need to know. I need to know she is safe. She left without a word! I thought she was dead! Is she here, Erin?”

“She is, but you are not seeing her. She is safe. She is home with me, someone she can trust, unlike you.” Erin snips.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“She saw you with your whore of an ex last night.” She says as-matter-of-factly.

“What?” Ben’s voice is stunned.

“Yeah, that’s right you got caught. How long have you been cheating on Tess behind her back Ben? Huh?” Erin is lit.

I sink to the floor, because I can’t seem to hold my weight any longer.

I hear Ben growl and then a loud punching noise. I see Erin’s shadow jump.

“Tess!” he yells. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“It’s not…” he pauses, “It’s not what you think.” His voice breaks and so does my heart. “Please! Tess! I love you, you have to trust me. You just
have
to trust
me
.”

“Yeah, well seeing you with the whore how do you expect her to trust you? And punching the wall isn’t going to solve anything, you moron. Why don’t you get out of here before you tear up her place any more than what you just did?” I hear the door slam shut.

“Fucker,” I hear her say under her breath. She walks over to the bathroom and slowly opens the door.

“Hi” I say.

“Hey, yourself. Did you hear that out there?”

I nod.

“I am sorry, Tess. He is such an ass.”

“Thank you for not letting him in. I just don’t have it in me to see him.”

“I know.”

I have class this morning, but I think sleep sounds so much better. Before I head back to bed, I email my photos from the show to Mrs. Fuller.

Just because Ben broke my heart into tiny jagged pieces doesn’t mean that I am going to give up on my dream. I am not that sappy of a girl. I can go on living. But loving again… now that will be the challenge. I still love Ben, but my heart hurts too much right now and it doesn’t want to agree with my brain on the fact that I probably need to forget about him.

But how do you forget your
one
?

I just don’t get what happened! Before the show things were perfect and I am not exaggerating, but they were fucking perfect! Then, when I went to go find her after the show she was gone. A few staff members said they had seen a pink-haired girl coming out of Uliana’s dressing room and leaving the concert hall.

Fuck me. I hope she didn’t see Nicole.

When I got to her place and talked to Red, I knew right then and there that Tess had seen Nicole and the way she had her hands on me. I can see why she bolted.

It hurts that Tess automatically assumed that I was going to sleep with Nicole.

Every day I call. I text. I try coming over with her favorite flowers.

But I know it’s going to take more than some calls and flowers to fix this. I need another guy’s opinion. Maybe Dan can offer up some advice.

I launch into the story.

“I had no idea Nicole was going to be there and how she got back stage is beyond me… then again…”

“I bet she blew a security guard.” Dan says what I don’t.

I huff out a throaty laugh. “Most likely. Anyways, she came up behind me and started groping me and licking my neck. I thought it was Tess, since I didn’t see her on the floor taking photos. When I turned around, it was Nicole.”

“What did you do?”

“I pulled her away from the stage, took her out back in the hopes Tess wouldn’t see her.”

“She did anyways didn’t she?”

Not being able to control it any longer I let out a deep cry. No man wants to cry to another man, but this is too much.

“Hey man, just get it out now, because if she is what you need, you are going to need to really fucking fight to get her back.”

Holding the phone in one hand and rubbing my face with the other, I feel my tears running down my cheeks.

“Hey, I have to go.” I know my voice sounds ragged and clipped.

“What are you doing, Ben? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m good. Just something I need to do.”

“Tess, you have to come to the wedding!” Caroline begs.

The wedding is in a few days and I am having doubts.

I have been avoiding Ben for over a week now. I know I can’t run forever. Erin has made that fucking clear enough. Ever since she and James have become an official couple, she is now all about love and once you find your true love, your one and only then you need to work it out. That it will be worth it in the long haul.

James is pretty dead set on the fact that he will marry Erin one day. I am happy for my big brother and my best friend, but I can’t help but feel pained, too. I know that makes me sound like a whiny snob, I am just going through the stages of grief. I think

“Please, Tess!” Caroline shouts at me. “Come and stand with Gwen and me.”

I had texted Caroline a few days ago, telling her that Ben and I are having a fight right now and that I don’t think the wedding would be the best place to reunite. I figure she is a teen she has watched enough
Gossip Girl
and whatever other popular teen show there is out there to know what I am telling her.

“Maybe this will be a great way for you and Ben to meet on mutual grounds.” She is still trying to convince me.

“I just don’t know.”

“Gwen really wants you there. She thinks of you as a daughter, Tess.” Great, now she is really driving the knife deep into my chest and twisting it.

“Fine!” I throw my free hand up in the air. “I’ll stand.”

“Good! Thank you! Are you free tomorrow to come over for your last dress fitting?” I saw Caroline’s sketches for the dresses and they were amazing, not your typical bubble gum pink and bows.

“Sure thing, text me when you want me.”

I am going in to work early, hoping to hell I miss Ben. I need to talk to Mrs. Fuller. This will also be my first time meeting my new boss.

I walk into the already redecorated office. It is now deep purple with candy skulls strewn about the space, along with vinyl records on the walls. This looks way better and wicked cool. I am greeted with a warm smile from a dark haired woman in her early thirties, I am guessing. She has a purple streak in her bangs and she has full tattoo sleeves on both arms. Oh, I like her.

“Tess, how are you? It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I am doing good, thank you. I have to say I love your style.” I gesture around the room.

“Thank you,” She smiles. “Is there anything I can do for you?”