Project Valentine (A Homespun Romance) (12 page)

A gull edged up to the picnic basket, one inquisitive eye fixed on Jessica.

Did Karl really believe he was capable of emotional abuse? That marriage would open up some dark side of him? Jessica blinked. It just wasn't possible. Not Karl. He was too sensitive to ever cause others pain. He'd proved it over and over again since they'd first met. Fierce determination surged in her to convince him of the fact.

"Have you found another dog to champion?"

Jessica jumped. Karl's head was turned sideways on his arms and he was watching her. She blushed. How long had he been awake?

"Excuse me?"

"I asked if you'd found another dog to champion?'

"No.
Why do you ask?"

"You had that same do or die expression on your face as you did the day I saw you with Arthur."

Jessica slipped into her shirt, concentrated on fastening the buttons. "It's nothing," she muttered.

Karl didn't pursue the topic.
Sitting up with one lithe movement he looked at his watch as Molly ran up to them and took a soft drink can out of the cooler. Jessica longed to lean toward him and brush the fine golden sand from his skin.

"Molly, five minutes more and we have to be going,"
Karl said.

"Aw, Uncle Karl."
She took a long sip of her drink.

"You don't want Arthur to catch cold again do you?"

"I'll be ready in five minutes," Molly said immediately. "I just have to say goodbye to my friends."

Jessica stood up and walked over to the children with Molly.
She needed a few minutes away from Karl to marshal her scattered senses into some kind of order before she got into the close confines of the car with him.

A worn out Arthur and Molly fell asleep on the way home.
Sand cased limbs, sun soaked bodies, and the look on their faces testified to a day filled with fun.

Jessica turned to Karl.
It was time for more important things. If she waited too long she might not find the right moment. Checking over her shoulder to see if Molly really was asleep, Jessica took a deep breath.

"Summer wants to marry you when she grows up," she began.

"Who?" Karl flashed her a look of amazement.

"Summer," repeated Jessica politely.
"A little girl... about so high. Her mother mentioned seventeen fillings?"

"Summer Kennedy."
Realization dawned accompanied by a huge smile. "She's a real heartbreaker."

Jessica wasn't about to be deterred by a discussion about Summer.
"Her mother couldn't say enough good things about you."

Karl shrugged.
"Mrs. Kennedy's just grateful Summer's treatment went so well. Cavities like her little girl had can cause future complications."

Jessica wasn't prepared to discuss cavities or grateful mothers just yet either.

"Mrs. Lucas, your office manager, thinks the world of you, too."

He was beginning to tune into the fact that her conversation had a purpose.

"So does Molly," continued Jessica. "So does Arthur."

So do I.
The words were barely caught back in time.

"Yes."
His tone told her to hurry up and get to the point.

She had to say it now while she still could.
Already Karl's tone was proving a serious deterrent.

"You can fool a grown up but you can never, ever fool a child or a dog," stated Jessica flatly.
"You can buy a grown up's affection, sometimes even a child's, never an animal's."

"All right Jessica."
His sigh wasn't really one. The smile in his voice came through clearly. "Let it out. What's bothering you?'

"What I'm trying to say is, I don't understand how, when you have the capacity for inspiring so much love, you can doubt your own ability to give it."
She spoiled it all by ending on a quaver.

Those unreliable, idiotic, overactive tear ducts.

His brows snapped together.
Jessica's heart skipped a beat. She'd charged in where angels refused to tread again.

"Traits like I mentioned, don't always show Jessica,"
Karl said without anger. "When we had our friends over as children, my father could have put a television parent in the shade. He would hand out candy, tell a few jokes, take us down to the ice cream parlor. Appearances were important to him. But when we were on our own it was so different. Never a word of encouragement, of love, and always that terrible coldness towards my mother. I asked her about it once. She said he'd had a terribly unhappy childhood. I couldn't understand why he was punishing her and indirectly us for it. I understand better now but I still don't accept why." He stopped at a traffic light, but didn't turn his head to look at her. "Only someone who's been there can guess at the tremendous strain unhappy parents put on their children. What if I am like my father? Molly, Arthur, little Summer, they're not really mine. I see Mrs. Lucas only for a few hours each day. It's easy to be kind to other people's kids, to men and women you see for a while. The real test is to be kind to those closest to you."

"You are kind,"
Jessica protested as they stopped at a traffic light.

Karl didn't seem to hear.
"Doesn't everyone put on a different cloak when they go to work? Assume a different personality from their normal ones? Well, I've never taken that cloak off with anyone...I'm terrified to. I can't risk waiting till I marry to discover I'm a clone of my father. I can't risk history repeating itself."

The lights changed and Karl accelerated.
Jessica kept quiet. She could see he was really upset. It didn't show in his face or his voice, but the hands that clutched the steering wheel had white knuckles. Arguing the point any more right now might turn off the friendliness completely. She couldn't risk that. She had to make sure the door stayed open so she could work on this chip on his shoulder again.

Chip?
It was a rock really. It made the one in Gibraltar seem insignificant .

It wasn't till late that night that Jessica remembered she hadn't thanked Karl for the flowers he'd sent her on Valentine's Day yet.
Maybe she ought to simply send him a thank you card.

She was floundering in something.
Substance that looked like yellow Jell-O wouldn't let her get free. Every time Jessica tried to extricate herself it sucked her in deeper. She was trapped. Someone was coming towards her. She could sense the menace. He held a bell in one hand and he kept ringing it. Louder and louder.

It wasn't a bell.
It was the telephone on her nightstand.

"Hello?"
Drat the whole pizza she'd devoured. It always gave her nightmares. She could never resist it though.

"Jessica, Andy's just been taken to the hospital."
Karl's clipped tones made her jump out of bed. "Molly's hysterical. Jim called me a minute ago from the hospital. Their neighbors are with Molly but Jim isn't sure if they can handle her. Will you come with me?"

Two a.m.
Poor Andy and Jim. Please don't let them lose the baby. Poor Molly. The intelligent ones always saw more, suffered more.

"I'm on my way."
She'd already slid into a pair of jeans. Finding a shirt, washing her face and brushing her teeth would take three minutes. In their large family, getting ready in record time had become an acquired skill.

"Thanks Jessica."

It was Thursday. Four days since she'd gone to the beach with him and Molly. Four long, empty days.

Jessica's hands tightened on the wheel.
This wasn't the time to be thinking of the way she felt.

The garage door went up silently and Karl pulled the Audi out, as she parked her car in front of his house.
Jessica locked her car and got into Karl's. The leather felt cool at her back.

"Jessica, thanks for coming so quickly."
He was already reversing, his attention on the road behind him.

"Hello Karl."

He didn't say anything more just picked up her hand and squeezed it. Jessica felt a lump the size of the Rose Bowl well up in her throat. Trite words of consolation would almost be an insult. They wouldn't express her understanding of the deep fear in Karl's heart. She stayed silent.

Nothing's going to happen to Andy or the baby, Jessica told herself fiercely.
She pictured a woman who was an older version of Molly, holding a baby, smiling happily, her family bunched around her. That's how it had to be.

Please, let it be like that.

Vibrations of fear and helplessness snaked out from Karl to her. He was afraid he'd lose his sister. He was afraid Andy would lose the baby. He was afraid, period.

"I can stay with Molly, and you could go to the hospital and be with Jim."
Being there would make the waiting easier for Karl.

For the first time that night she had his total attention.
"Are you sure?"

"Yes."
Being on the spot would alleviate some of his tension. Besides she was sure Andy's husband could do with some company right now.

Karl pulled up in front of the apartment building.
"I'll introduce you to the Macauleys first, and see how Molly is. Jim said Andy's anxious about her."

Molly flung herself on her uncle as soon as he unlocked the door, raised a blotchy red face to ask, "Is my Mommy alright?"

Karl made no effort to hide the tears in his own eyes. "I hope so, sweetheart." The hand that caressed his niece's blonde head trembled slightly. "I certainly hope so." Picking up Molly he held her close, as much as for his own sake as for hers.

And this was the man who said he never took his outer cloak off with anyone?
He might not be aware of it but it was off now. Jessica looked away blinking rapidly. The naked stamp of pain and fear on Karl's face was almost her undoing. This was no time for tears. She had to be strong for them.

"Tina and Brian, this is Jessica Woods, a friend of mine.
Jessica, meet Tina and Brian Macauley. They're Andy and Jim's neighbors and good friends." He set Molly down but held her hand. "Jessica will stay with Molly now. Thanks for being here."

The young couple nodded and stood up, their faces lined with worry.
"We're glad we could help. Our number's by the telephone. Let us know as soon as there's news. If there's anything else we can do...."

"Thanks.
We'll be sure and let you know." Karl saw them to the door, closed it behind them.

He turned to see Jessica on the couch.
Molly sat on her lap, sobbing into her shoulder. Jessica didn't say a word, just sat there rubbing Molly's back, her own mouth aquiver with emotion. Though she wasn't much bigger than Molly physically, she was all woman as she consoled the frightened child.

Karl struggled with the need to haul them both to his chest, hold them close to his heart.

He cleared his throat. "Molly, honey, would you like me to go to the hospital and find out how your Mommy's doing?"

The tears stopped.
Molly lifted her head off Jessica's shoulder. "Can I come too?"

"No honey," he reached a hand up and brushed the hair off her hot forehead, let his hand rest on Jessica's shoulder.
His thumb massaged her collar bone. She wasn't sure if the contact was for her comfort or for his. "They won't let kids in at this hour to visit." Indecision hovered on Molly's face. Then she turned to the couch. "Will you stay with me Jessica?"

"For as long as it takes, Molly."

Molly nodded and said, "Promise you'll call as soon as you get there?"

"Promise."
He was already half way to the door.

Jessica and Molly looked at each other as it locked behind him.

"Want to talk about it?" Jessica asked gently.

The tears ran down Molly's face unchecked.
"I heard noises and woke up. Mommy's back was hurting very bad, she told me. Daddy said the doctor wanted to examine Mommy so they had to go to the hospital. Then the ambulance came, and they told me to stay out of the way, like a good girl."

It didn't need a genius to guess how the sight of the paramedics, the wail of the siren would have frightened Molly.

"They probably called an ambulance because it gets you to the hospital in the shortest possible time," Jessica said quietly. "There were nine of us at home when my father had his heart attack. It was a small one, but we still called an ambulance because we wanted him to have the best of care on the way to the hospital and get there in the quickest time possible. On the way to the hospital he had another big heart attack. The paramedics saved his life because they had all the equipment and the know-how."

Molly wiped a tear away with the back of her hand.
"Daddy called just before you and Uncle Karl got here. He said the doctors were with Mommy and he was waiting outside."

"Karl's going to call us very soon,"
Jessica reminded as Molly's mouth wobbled again. "Maybe he'll even be able to see your Mommy by the time he gets there."