Project Valentine (A Homespun Romance) (15 page)

Molly picked up the bracelet and handed it to her mother.
"Look inside," she commanded.

Andy read the inscription out loud.
Richard Karl. It was followed by the date.

"It's beautiful."

"Mommy has another bracelet with my name inside it." Molly told Jessica proudly. "Daddy gave her that one when I was born."

Karl pulled something out of the pocket of his jeans.

"Another present?" Andy's eyebrows threatened to disappear into her hairline. "You've already offered to pay to have the baby's room decorated in the new house."

"That's for Richard Karl," said her brother.
"This is for you."

It was a pendant to match the bracelet.
Karl and Andy's husband must have shopped together. Heart shaped, the pearls and sapphires caught the light and glittered.

"You spend too much money on us," Andy reproved Karl.

"What's it there for anyway?" A shrug dismissed the cost of the gift, his sister's thanks.

A look passed between Jim and Karl and the latter got to his feet.
Andy was definitely looking worn out.

"Time to go," Karl pretended to stifle a yawn.
"Bet everyone's going to be glad of an early night."

Molly kissed her mother and her father.
Though Andy looked tired, she protested their leaving, urged them to come early the next day.

"Jessica, thank you for coming and for the port-a-crib.
I wanted one of those. Come visit us soon, in our new house."

"I will," Jessica promised and then they were all being ushered out by a determined Jim.

They stopped off at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Richard Karl was in an incubator that had been moved near the large window so they could see him easily.

Molly pressed her nose to the glass again.
"Mommy touched him this morning," she said. "There's a special place in the incubator she can put her hand through. Daddy says it's important for babies to be held. They need to feel they're loved."

Jessica looked at Molly's little brother and her throat closed up.
He looked like a crumpled rose, eyes closed, hands curled into fists.

"Daddy says I looked just like Rikki when I was born."

"Rikki?' her uncle questioned.

"It's what I'm going to call him," Molly explained.
"He looks just like Rikki Tikki Tavi."

Jessica's mouth worked.
The baby looked just like Rudyard Kipling's mongoose? She dared not look at Karl. The baby was so beautiful. Perfect in every detail. Jessica thought of the physical and mental strain Andy had undergone to have her son. Yet today she looked ready to do it all over again. Jessica blinked. The miracle of motherhood was one of the most moving.

A touch on her shoulder made Jessica start.

"Penny for them?"

"My mother says a child is a man and a woman's gift to the world.
A sign of their belief in the future. Belief that there will be a world of peace and happiness for that child to live and grow in."

Karl's hand tightened on her shoulder.
Jessica stole a glance upwards. There was an amazing softness on his face. "I'd like to meet your mother sometime."

"She'd like to meet you too."
Suddenly it seemed important to let him know the comment didn't signify anything deeper. "Our house is always full of friends and family. Visitors say they've stopped trying to sort out the relatives from the rest. It's easier that way."

Karl smiled, turned as Molly tugged at his sleeve.
"Uncle Karl what are we going to have for dinner? I'm starving."

"Give me a minute Molly and I'll think of something."
He turned to Jessica. "Want to come eat with us?"

Jessica looked up at him, shook her head.
"No thanks. I have a few errands to run."

The way she felt, she needed a little time to herself.

Karl hesitated, then nodded. "Talk to you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," echoed Jessica.

They parted at her car. She drove home feeling lonely and teary, wondering if she was coming down with the flu.

About to attribute it to lack of sleep, Jessica paused.
She'd never lied to herself and didn't intend starting now. Her moodiness had something to do with the way Jim Spencer had looked at his wife. Jessica knew she wanted someone to look at her like that.

She took a deep breath.
Not just anyone. Karl.

The way Karl had looked at the baby was branded on her mind.
Wistful, longing, needing. It wasn't the look of a man who was content to remain single. It was the look of a man who didn't dare reach out for what he wanted because he didn't want to hurt another human being as his mother had been hurt.

She didn't know a single other man who thought like him.
She knew so many who took what they wanted without consideration for anyone's feelings but their own.

Jessica pulled into the covered parking space by her apartment and put her head on the steering wheel for a second.

Convincing Karl Wagner he would make an ideal husband and father, made the labors of Hercules seem like child's play.

"Balance it on the tip of your finger, squeeze the solution on to it, hold your eye open with one hand and flip it into place. There you go! Now, think positive thoughts." Jessica ordered her reflection. "The new contacts are going to do just fine in your eyes. You are not going to have any problem with them. Wearing them is just a question of mind over matter."

Dr. Phillips, her optometrist, had been very positive about the latest pair of contact lenses.
"Everyone whom I've recommended them to, has done very well with them," he'd told her. "They're especially made for sensitive eyes."

Jessica stood back.
The contacts did make a difference to her face. Without the glasses her eyes looked bigger, her mouth less full. She smoothed down the tangerine pants she had on. The olive green top and matching jacket went well with it. Yes, she actually looked nice for a change.

The Spencers had invited her to dinner tonight.
Andy had been home with the baby three weeks now. Arthur had been taken over to the new house a fortnight ago. Molly called every other day with glowing reports of Arthur and the new baby, her Nana and Gramps. Uncle Karl, she'd reported, had gone to the mid-west for a week. A dental conference.

Jessica had assured herself she didn't mind in the least where he went.
He hadn't contacted her after the day she'd visited Andy in the hospital and Jessica had let it be. Rome hadn't been built in a day and neither was any lasting relationship. But the thought that he had left Clearview rankled.

Karl Wagner didn't have to call and let her know he was leaving town.
He didn't have to call and let her know if he was leaving the country. Repeating the thought to her as she ate her way through two pounds of chocolates, removed her artificial nails and chewed on her real ones till the skin at the tips of her fingers began to smart, hadn't helped. Telling herself he wasn't the only fish in the ocean didn't do her any good either. He was the only fish she wanted.

Picking up her bag Jessica turned to leave the apartment, telling herself she was getting over Karl Wagner really well.
He could move to Timbuktu for all she cared.

Jim and Molly greeted her at the door of their new home in Walnut.

"How are you Jessica?"
Jim looked relaxed and happy.

"Come, see the baby," Molly dragged her into the living room.

Behind them Jim chuckled and said, "I have my work cut out getting attention around here these days."
His happiness proclaimed he didn't want in it any other way.

"It's good to see you again, Jessica," Andy said, smiling warmly at her, over the baby bottle filled with water she was holding.
"How have you been?"

"Fine, thanks.
Busy at work." Jessica moved to stand behind Andy so she could look down at Rikki. Something warned her Andy knew how she felt about Karl and Jessica didn't want pity.

His eyes were open and he was staring straight at her as he drank the water.
"Hi Rikki," she said softly.

"He's doing so well," said Andy proudly, "Gaining weight steadily and hardly ever cries."

Jim reached for the baby, placed him on his shoulder and burped him.

"Jessica, meet my parents," he smiled at the older couple who had just come downstairs.
"Richard and Marina Spencer. Jessica Woods."

The senior Spencers smiled, shook hands.
"Karl has told us so much about you."

Karl?
Surely they meant Molly? Jessica's smile froze.

"Did you have a pleasant flight out?"
A change of subject was called for.

"Yes, thank you.
We hoped to be here before the baby arrived, but this young man had his own plans." Marina Spencer beamed fondly at her grandson.

"Just like his mother and sister," interjected Jim.
"It's a good thing I'm easy going. Three strong willed people are enough for one man to have to cope with."

"Except," contributed his father with a straight face, "that under the so called easy going exterior is a will as strong as iron.
When one comes up against that, it takes more than three people to turn you around, son."

"Dad!
We men are supposed to stick together." Jim protested.

"Thanks Richard," chuckled Andy gleefully.

"I just have to check on the roast a minute," Jim's mother excused herself. "We're having a real English dinner tonight. Yorkshire pudding and roast beef."

"I'm not much of a cook," confessed Andy, "Marina always takes over the kitchen when she's here.
It makes it all the harder when she leaves."

Marina smiled comfortingly, "It'll come in time, dear.
When Richard and I got married I remember boiling an egg for thirty minutes."

She moved towards the kitchen and Jessica went with her.

"May I help you in here?" Her eyes were beginning to smart. So much for will power and the new contacts. "Not really, dear, thank you." Marina Spencer smiled sweetly at her. "There's someone out there who wants to meet you, I think."

Jessica looked at the kitchen window.
Arthur had his paws on the wooden ledge outside and was watching her, his body wriggling with excitement.

"I'll just say hello," laughed Jessica slipping away.

"Hi, there." She rubbed the back of Arthur's neck. "I missed you. Do you like your new home?"

She looked around.
The Spencers had a large yard, with a couple of huge trees and a nine by six wooden storage shed. She could make out the name ARTHUR painted on the top in block letters. A perfect dog house for someone his size. She knew he was going to be very happy here. He had so many people to keep him company now.

Jessica wondered who was keeping Karl company these days.
If he missed Arthur at all. Missed her.

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Hello Jessica."

She stiffened, then turned slowly.
Karl stood just outside the patio door, his silhouette outlined in gold by the light from the house.

The first spurt of joy was replaced by anger.
Why wasn't he in the mid-west raking defenseless women with that glance of his, reducing them to boneless heaps of helplessness?

"Hello Karl."

"How have you been?"

"Fine thanks."
As if he cared. "And you?"

Darkness was a friend, providing cover, providing space.
Electricity was a force flashing between them, drawing her inevitably towards him. It was as if their time apart had never been. Jessica clung to Arthur's collar.

"Fine.
The conference was interesting, but I'd rather have stayed here."

Don't let that honey seep into your bones.
His on again, off again, manner has nothing to recommend it.

Fury kept her quiet.

"Didn't you get my message? A colleague who was presenting a paper met with an accident and I was asked to fill in for him at the last minute." Karl's voice held traces of puzzlement.

"Message?"
said Jessica blankly. If he thought Molly telling her he was away was a message, he had another think coming.

Even in the dark she could hear the change of tone.
"Didn't Mrs. Lucas. call you?"

"No."
Jessica said coldly. "It doesn't matter. Molly told me you were on a business trip."

"Of course it matters..."

"It's nice out here isn't it?" Drink in hand Richard Spencer joined them on the patio. Unaware of interrupting anything he said easily. "Jessica, Jim's wondering what you would like to drink."

Mumbling something about orange juice Jessica slipped inside.
She headed straight for the rest room. Her eyes were beginning to redden. If she removed the contacts, she would trip over her own toes. As part of her positive thinking routine, she hadn't brought her glasses along. Wanting to be and making an effort didn't always add up to success.

"Just a little while more, please," she prayed before slipping out to join the others in the living room.

Jim got her a glass of orange juice when she went into the living room.

"Jessica, want to look at my baby pictures?" Molly asked, looking up from the open album on her lap.

"I think Jessica was out on the patio with Uncle Karl," Andy intervened.
"Maybe she would like to go back outside."

"No, that's all right.
I just wanted to say hello to Arthur," Jessica smiled vaguely at Andy, hoping she'd leave it at that as she sat down beside Molly. "I'd like to look at your pictures, Molly."

Karl and Richard Spencer came in when Marina summoned everyone to dinner.
Karl looked at Jessica as they all sat down in the formal dining room and frowned. "Where are your glasses?"

So much for stunning him with her newly unveiled beauty.

"I'm wearing contacts," Jessica said coolly, resisting the temptation to blink rapidly and expel the irritating objects from her eyes.

"I see."

Andy had seated them across from each other at the formal dining table. Jessica refused to look at Karl. She concentrated on talking to Richard and Jim Spencer, aware all the while of Karl's gaze on her. Her eyes were beginning to burn. As soon as she helped wash up, she was going to have to leave.

"Know what Arthur did yesterday, Jessica?"

Jessica looked at Molly seated between her uncle and grandmother. "Nothing bad I hope."

Molly grinned.
"Nana and I helped Mommy take Rikki to the doctor for his check up after I got home from school. Arthur got into our neighbor's yard. They had a portable clothesline outside and the clothes were flapping in the breeze. Arthur thought it was a game of some sort and started barking and jumping at the clothes. Gramps heard him and rushed outside, but by then the clothesline had been knocked over and Arthur had Mr. O’Connor’s blue spotted boxer shorts over his head. He couldn't understand why it was so dark all of a sudden. He kept pawing at the shorts and whining. As soon as Gramps pulled them off his head he ran for home as if he was being chased. He hasn't been near the fence since."

Jessica joined in the general laughter but kept her eyes on her plate.
Karl was still staring at her. Hadn't someone told him about trespassing on personal space?

"It was funny," Andy agreed, "but we're lucky the
O'Connors' weren't upset. They love dogs it seems, but Mrs. O’Connor’s allergies won't allow them to have one at home."

"Gramps helped Mrs. O'Connor pick up all her laundry," Molly continued, "I think Arthur kind of knew he'd done something bad because he was awfully quiet the rest of the day."

"How was the conference Karl?" Andy asked her brother. "You must be tired coming straight here from the airport."

"Not really.
I wanted to see..." The pause had a pulse leap into life in Jessica's throat, "...you all. Coming here is better than going back to an empty house."

"A sure sign that your bachelor days are almost over my friend," teased Jim.
"Weren't you the one that said you liked being on your own after a busy day at the clinic?"

Under cover of the other's conversation Jessica went over what Karl had said.
He missed his sister and her family and Arthur. That was the only logical reason for his remarks.

"Mother, leave the dishes," Jim commanded as his mother stood up to remove the dessert plates.
"Dad and I are going to take care of them later. Thank you for the delicious meal."

"Marina, that was heavenly."
Andy seconded. "I'm going to put on a ton, but the good part is, I don't even care. It's all Jim's fault. He says he loves me, no matter what I look like."

The look she exchanged with her husband was what Jessica called a bedroom look.
It made everyone else feel superfluous.

"I can give you a hand with the dishes, Jim," offered Andy.

"No you won't," he said firmly. "I have my orders from Dr. Ahmed. He let you out of hospital early because you insisted on it, but if you don't rest like you should till he gives the all clear, I'm going to have him readmit you."

"I'm getting awfully spoiled," protested Andy.

"Just remember this when it's Wimbledon time and I'm glued to the television," laughed Jim.

Jessica felt oddly nervous.
Karl's gaze seemed glued to her face for the last few minutes. He set his napkin down and rose. "If you will all excuse us, Jessica and I have to leave now."

Jessica blinked.
The surprise on her face was mirrored on everyone else's. Karl came around the table, cupped her elbow in the palm of his hand. A jolt racked Jessica. "Thank you for a wonderful dinner Marina." Karl said politely. "Richard I'll let you know about the days we can play golf. Goodnight everybody. Please excuse us for running out on you. Andy, I'll call you tomorrow"

Jessica found she was being propelled away from the table.
She barely managed a thank you before she was hustled out of the room.

Karl put her into her car, shut the door.
"I'll follow you home."

Jessica’s heart was pounding too loudly for her to think.
Random thoughts flung themselves at her. What on earth was the matter with Karl? How on earth was she ever going to face the Spencer family again? How dare Karl strong-arm her?

Jessica convinced herself she was angry by the time she parked her car and reached her front door.
The irregularity of her heartbeat hinted at excitement not anger.

Karl followed her in and kicked the door shut.
The sound made Jessica jump.

"What on earth's wrong with you?" she demanded.
She'd never seen him so furious.

"Not me.
You." The clipped tones held no further clue. "Get those contacts out before they damage your eyes."

Jessica stared at him, opened her mouth, closed it again.
So that was what this was all about. Spinning on her heel she went into the bathroom and shut the door with a bang.

Slipping the contacts out provided instant relief.

"That's better."
Karl turned to her as soon as she entered the room, her glasses in place.

The tension lifted off his face.
One would think he'd been the one suffering. Jessica stayed silent. She couldn't trust herself to speak. For what she had to say to Karl Wagner she needed calm, cool, collected. It was the only way to annihilate his take charge tactics once and for all.

"Let me look at your eyes."

A hand lifted her chin, while the other took her glasses off.
Then both palms cupped her face. He frowned as he looked at her eyes. "Why on earth did you have to go and use contacts? Your eyes are definitely too sensitive for them."

Enough was enough.
Thumping heart or not, Jessica wrenched away from him, crossed to the window. With her back to it, she folded her arms across her chest. Sparks shot out of her eyes as she sent him an icy glare. "That's none of your business."

He wasn't one to take a hint easily.
"Why put yourself through so much misery?"

Tears of rage crept into her throat.
"Because I'm sick of wearing glasses that's why...because I don't like the way I look in them...because I want to look different."

She looked down at her feet.
Suddenly there was no anger left. Only the pain of humiliation. Not for a million dollars would she cry in front of Karl.

"What's wrong with the way you look?"
The surprise in his voice came through clearly.

Jessica turned to the window, made a show of pulling the drapes open.
There was nothing to look at outside except the darkness.

"You won't understand," she said bitterly.
"You've got enough good looks for two men."

There.
It's out now. Let's see how he likes plain speaking.

"That's what this is all about?
The way you look?"

Jessica stared out of the window in stubborn silence.
His reflection moved in the clear glass. Came towards her. Jessica spun around.

He didn't look scornful.
The look in his eyes was indefinable. Soft, understanding, tender. She stopped breathing.

He lifted his hands and threaded them through her hair, fingers splayed.
His thumbs drew whorls of comfort on her temples as her face tilted to his.

"Jessica, listen to me," he ordered sternly.
"You are beautiful. I thought so from the day I saw you in the mall." He watched the rigidity on her face remain unchanged. "Beauty isn't the way you look, or your vital statistics. It's caring about things, about people. Wanting to change what's wrong even if it means going out on a limb. Having enough room in your heart for the whole world. It's the ability to give without counting the cost." The look in his eyes burned a path to her brain, his words followed, imprinted themselves there. "Traits like yours can never be bought or bottled, Jessica. They spring from within." He bent and touched his lips to hers in a brief salute. "Your kind of beauty is very rare, very unique. Soul deep not skin deep."

Any minute now she'd wake up and realize she'd eaten another whole pizza.
But till then she intended enjoying this moment. Karl's voice held so much conviction Jessica was ready to be teamed against Cleopatra and Helen of Troy. As soon as she got over her shock, that is.

Karl looked at the expression of wonder on her face, the lingering incredulity.

"Believe it sweetheart," his whisper fled into her mouth as their lips met again.

There wasn't any way she could hold back her response. If Karl insisted on killing her dragons he had to take the consequences. Jessica clung to him, returning his kisses with fervor. She'd missed him so much. As he deepened the kisses, she let her hands roam his back, explore the muscles in his shoulders.

"Jessica," he caught hold of her hands, brought them to his chest.
The fact that he was as out of breath, as bemused as she was, made Jessica feel even more wonderful.

"It's time I was leaving."
Karl looked away from her as he spoke.

Jessica blinked.
The words shredded her happiness. Karl was doing that odd dance step again. One forward. Two back.

At the look on her face, Karl crushed her to him again and growled.
"Jessica, I don't want to hurt you. Ever."

He wasn't running away for his sake.
He was running for hers. Jessica shut her eyes as the truth surfaced.

Karl...who could transform a plain Jane into Aphrodite...who could replace fear with courage...who could love without asking for love in return still didn't trust himself in a close relationship.