Promised Land (26 page)

They walked and talked and ended up sitting in the car for hours, filling in those missed years, avoiding talk of the time her father had died and she’d come to Dublin and he had disappeared from her life. He finally drove her home at midnight, sitting outside in the square till one in the morning, both of them reluctant to part. Ella eventually kissed him goodnight softly on the lips before running back up to the flat where she lay awake for most of the night thinking about him.

Chapter Thirty-three

SEAN FLANAGAN WAS
back in her life and Ella could hardly believe it. He asked her out for drinks and invited her to lunch and to dinner, bending over backwards to please her. His gentle easy-going manner had become more sophisticated, which made him almost irresistible. She accepted graciously, unsure of what she was letting herself in for, afraid that he might break her heart again.

‘I think you’re fecking mad!’ was Kitty’s contribution to the debate about whether she should or should not agree to going out with him again. ‘Remember nearly five or six years ago and how he treated you. Don’t forget what happened then, Ella, sure he didn’t bother even coming to Dublin to see you. He’ll let you fecking down again!’

‘I know,’ she chastised herself.

Slaney was totally captivated by him and flirted with him every time he called to the flat. Ella reminded him she was Kitty’s little sister.

‘I think Sean’s kind of handsome like one of
those
Americans and he seems so nice and polite and charming, and he’s got his own business. God Ella, he’s a right catch!’

Ella burst out laughing at her young cousin’s summary of his attributes, but had to concur.

There was an easy friendship between herself and Sean, since they had known each other for so long and came from the same background. They could talk on and on for hours, time running away with them as they remembered those days back on the farms in Kilgarvan with affection.

‘You must have found it hard, Sean, leaving Wexford and going out to America?’

‘Aye, I did, Ella, but when my reason for staying had gone, I suppose that made it a whole lot easier.’

He gazed at her intently and she realized that he was referring to her. She took a deep breath, not wanting to talk about the time he’d hurt her so much, a time she’d been so vulnerable and alone and had needed his love.

‘The past is the past,’ he said softly, kissing her the way he always had.

She acknowledged just how much she had missed him over all the years and how important he was compared to Mac and the others she had loved.

They drove out to Rathfarnham one evening and he showed her the large vacant site he had recently purchased, a collection of ramshackle sheds on one corner, and concrete foundations and building
work
begun on the other. He’d sunk most of the money he’d earned in Chicago and Detroit into its purchase and development.

‘This will be the huge forecourt and sales area, here where they’re busy building will be the showrooms and offices, and over there on the far side we’ll have the garages for car servicing and maintenance and repair work.’

She could feel his sense of excitement as he walked her round explaining everything about the dealership contract he’d been awarded for Ireland. ‘Those guys trust me, Ella. I worked on both sides of the fence in America and they know that I know the motor industry. Ireland is virgin territory! Things are changing, Ella. With Sean Lemass as Taoiseach this country will turn around and make something of itself.’

Ella noticed that a main road ran to the front of the site, but otherwise there was just a country lane and some housing development and fields. As if reading her mind he explained that the city was spreading out very fast, and that people wanted cars, though they mightn’t all know it yet; but in a year or two or three they would. He already had an option on a smaller site down in Cork.

Ella had never seen Sean so excited and assured in all the years she knew him. America had changed him; it had made him stronger and tougher and more focused on what he wanted. She couldn’t help but wonder if that also included her.

Sean in turn had been most impressed when he
saw
her shop, standing out on the street admiring the sign that swung over the door.

‘Sean, for God’s sake come in and stop staring like that!’ she joked.

He was so tall and big he seemed to fill the space and she watched as he looked all around running his hand along the counter and taking out some of the knitwear to look at it.

‘It’s only a small shop, Sean.’

‘It’s lovely Ella, a great business. I’m so proud of you.’

He pulled her into his arms and almost lifted her off her feet as he hugged her. ‘As they say in America, you’re some girl!’

‘Put me down Sean, a customer might come in!’ she teased.

Ella was relieved that he liked it and understood that she had a life of her own. She too had worked hard and wasn’t going to be dependent on him, waiting for him to decide their future.

Their dates and meetings became more frequent. The two of them drew closer but Ella was still unsure, wary of letting herself become more deeply and intimately involved with him, of letting him hurt her again. This time she wanted things to be different.

Wexford 1959

Chapter Thirty-four

KITTY WAS IN
a frenzy organizing her wedding to Tom Donovan which she’d decided she wanted held at home in Rathmullen. Ella agreed to become a bridesmaid along with Slaney and Marianne. Aunt Nance and her cousins kept coming up and down to Dublin buying outfits and presents for the bride and groom. Ella tried to keep things calm as possible although Kitty was in a highly emotional state and there always seemed to be extra people in and out of the flat.

The wedding was held on the fifth of July. Aunt Nance was red in the face with all the preparations necessary to fit so many people into the old farmhouse. Meanwhile Uncle Jack sat back and smoked his pipe and politely chatted to all the relations and guests.

Kitty looked absolutely beautiful in an almost off-the-shoulder fitted lace top and a full skirt that made her look like Scarlett O’Hara. Under her long tumbling veil her green eyes flashed with
happiness
. The bridesmaids’ dresses were much simpler, each with a wide collar and nipped-in waist and full swing skirt in a pale lavender-blue colour. Looking at herself in the mirror Ella could see that the colour showed off her skin tone and accentuated her dark eyes and hair colour.

Tom’s family were good sorts. His mother, a widow from Drogheda, was delighted to have a daughter-in-law like Kitty as she only had three sons. Nance showed her all around the house and kissed Tom warmly at every opportunity, telling Rita Donovan she’d raised a fine son.

The parish church was packed with all the neighbours and the invited guests. Terri as usual had caused a stir wearing a huge pink and cream hat, and a pale pink suit.

‘She looks like an ice cream!’ said little Mary admiringly.

Beside them sat Gretta and Brendan who had quietly got engaged and were moving to London where he’d been offered a new medical posting.

Kitty had almost broken down in tears when she came to take her marriage pledge, Tom squeezing her hand encouragingly. Ella felt delighted to witness her cousin’s marriage to the man she had loved all along. At the back of the church she caught a glimpse of Sean Flanagan taking it all in.

Friends and relations crowded into the farmhouse, where the Kavanaghs served roast beef and all the trimmings to their guests. Tables had been
set
up in every room, so everyone could mingle. The best man, Tom’s brother Eamonn, stood up and led them in a toast to the bride and groom.

Kitty and Tom made a very good-looking couple and Ella hoped that they’d be happy living in their new home in Dundrum. She’d miss her giddy cousin so much and would have to make do with Slaney as a flatmate, though Slaney was often away, the airline crew overnighting in different destinations. With the flat across the landing vacant when Gretta left, she would likely end up living on her own, something she supposed she’d have to face anyway.

Sean was deep in conversation with Bill Brady at a table in the corner of the sitting room, no doubt talking about building and property. Terri looked interested, sipping only a lemonade as she’d confided to them she was expecting again. Ella sighed to herself. She’d miss her friends, so much was changing with Kitty’s marriage. The only good thing was that she had agreed to Kitty coming to work with her part-time in the shop which meant at least they’d get to see each other most days. She badly needed someone to help her and Kitty, who’d had to resign her post in Lennon’s because she was a married woman, needed a job.

Her nieces Mary and Sally ran around the sitting room and garden in their pretty floral dresses, Connie’s eldest boy screaming and chasing after them. She couldn’t help but notice that Carmel scarcely had the energy to catch them. Liam kept
fussing
over her and fetching her drinks and food and making sure she had a seat.

Teresa and Constance barely batted an eyelash when she introduced them to Sean and were as nice as pie to him, no matter what bad things they’d heard about him before. Sean mixed easily with everyone; she was glad that Kitty had relented and invited him, and she was able to relax and enjoy the wedding party without needing to worry about him.

‘Weddings are great!’ she giggled, hugging Gretta and Slaney and Kitty. ‘Everyone should just go and get married!’

‘I fully agree, Ella,’ Sean added, coming up behind her. The others laughed as she rushed off to the kitchen on some pretext or other.

The only person she avoided was her brother. They were still not on proper speaking terms, for too much had happened between them to ever be close again. From afar he looked tired and as if he’d lost weight. They’d been through a tough time; Uncle Jack told her he was killing himself on the farm and had borrowed heavily for some newfangled equipment, a loan he was having difficulty paying back to the bank. She noticed that Liam had the car and went home early to do the milking.

Carmel was in good spirits, chatting to them all and joking with Sean about the times he used to call to the house for Ella. Sally hopped up on her knee for attention. When her sister-in-law grew
tired
she noticed that it was Sean who offered to drive her and the children home to Fintra.

Later that night when some of the crowd had dispersed and the older guests had gone home or to their beds, Marianne and Slaney cleared a space in the kitchen for dancing and for anyone who fancied getting up to sing.

Sean had pulled her onto his lap and kept his arm firmly around her waist. ‘I’ve scarcely seen you all day, Ella. This time you’re not going to get the chance to run away,’ he warned.

She didn’t want to and they stayed up till all hours joining in the singing and dancing.

Sean held her close in his arms long after everyone else had gone home. Eventually she sneaked upstairs and he made his way back to his parents’ farm.

Chapter Thirty-five

KITTY WAS SCARCELY
back from her few days’ honeymoon in Paris when the bad news came that Carmel was ill again. Aunt Nance had gone to visit and had phoned them to say how worried she was.

‘You should go home and visit her,’ urged Kitty. ‘I can manage on my own in the shop, honest.’

Ella got the train down to Wexford and went straight from the station to the county hospital. Carmel was in a small room of her own, off a busy crowded ward, and was too weak to talk to her. Her sister-in-law looked desperate, her eyes huge in her pale face, her hair lank and greasy, coughing non-stop. She had developed pneumonia. Ella could imagine how disappointed and fed up Carmel must be feeling at the thought of being sick and in hospital again, and having to leave her children, and what if she had to return to Oldcastle!

‘I know it’s awful, Carmel, but you’ll get better.
The
last time they got you better in Oldcastle. It’ll be the same this time.’

She could see a single tear trickle down Carmel’s cheek as she nodded, trying to pretend everything would be fine when they both knew that it wouldn’t.

She spoke to one of the nursing sisters, and from what Gretta had already told her realized that everyone was very concerned over Carmel’s condition.

‘I don’t know what’s going to happen to Liam and the girls now that I’m sick again,’ Carmel whispered in a low voice.

‘Liam’s strong, Carmel, you know that! He’ll manage. Don’t you go worrying yourself over everything. You have to save your energy and concentrate on getting better. I’ll go and see Liam, I promise. You know it must be awful for you to have married into such a stubborn pig-headed family! You’re far better than the both of us.’

Carmel smiled and Ella hugged her instinctively, only then realizing how thin she’d recently got.

Coming out of the hospital later that afternoon Ella was tempted to phone Rathmullen. But instead she decided to get the country bus that went to Kilgarvan. It was crowded with country women returning from shopping and a few schoolgirls from the convent secondary school. She nodded at a few who recognized her. The driver stopped to let her off before the village. She
hopped
down, almost regetting her decision the minute the bus pulled away along the country road. She had packed a weekend bag and began to walk along the familiar paths that led towards Fintra, noticing how beautiful everywhere looked. Her bag was heavy and she could feel her hands getting blistered from the rubbing of the leather-covered handle as she walked. There were thistles in one field, tall and upright, and she noticed that the hedgerow hadn’t been trimmed. Swans grouped together on the distant lake, dabbling their beaks in the water. The dairy herd gazed at her mournfully as she passed.

From a distance her heart leapt as soon as she saw home again. The sunlight splashed the white walls, the windowpanes glittered in the light; only up close did she notice the weeds patterned her mother’s old flower border and dandelions burst through the cracks in the pathway. The paint was beginning to peel from the front door and window frames. She stood for a second unsure of what to do or even if she was doing the right thing. What would she say or do if Liam told her to get off his property like he’d done the last time? He had a fierce temper and was far too proud for his own good. He had a sick wife in the hospital and although he needed someone to help might think that she was interfering.