Authors: Gwyneth Bolton
The kind you make when you want to make love to the sexiest woman you’ve ever known, the only woman who ever had your heart. Stupid!
When his cell phone rang, it didn’t take much for him to agree to meet his brother Joel for lunch.
Halfway into the lunch, he started to regret his decision.
“Do you really think you’re cool with the fact that she was with Terrill? That she left you for Terrill after she lost the baby?” Joel took a bite of his Johnny’s Grill Texas-style hot dog. Johnny’s was Joel’s favorite spot to eat, and talking him into trying another place was always a no-win battle.
North Jersey probably had more spots where you could get a Texas-style hot dog than the great state of Texas. There had to be hundreds of places serving them in Passaic County alone. But, out of all the restaurants, Joel swore by Johnny’s Grill.
Johnny’s Grill was packed, as usual; the restaurant kept folks coming in for their legendary wieners. The lunchtime hustle and bustle had a crowd of just about every class, creed and color that made up North Jersey’s multicultural population. Blacks and Latinos, Italians and Jews, all were packed in at the red and platinum chairs and tables, chomping down the signature dogs.
“All the way-way,” could be heard, along with whatever number of hot dogs folks were ordering, as the cashiers behind the counter shouted orders back to the kitchen.
“’Cause I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to forgive it, man.” Joel took another bite, chewed and swallowed. “I’m telling you, man, Johnny’s Grill has the best hot dogs in the area, if not the world.”
He closed his eyes and smacked his lips in reverence to the deep-fried, chili sauce, onions and mustard-covered tube of beef on a bun. Then he pinned Jason with a know-it-all stare. “I love Penny to death. I still think of her like a little sister, even though she ripped out your heart, stomped on it and handed it back to you. And if it had been any other guy but Terrill, I might even say give it another try. But it was Terrill, man.
Terrill!
” Joel stuck his fork in his cheese fries.
Jason had to laugh at his brother’s love for the deep-fried hot dogs and gravy-covered fries. The man was lucky he was in such excellent shape and had such a physically demanding job, because those hot dogs would have a lesser man looking more than a little round, the way Joel put them away every chance he got.
Jason sighed and took a sip of his root beer. “How did we get on the subject of Penny?”
“’Cause you have that same lovesick expression on your face you had at dinner. And since I’m a man who likes to watch out for my younger brother, I have to save you from yourself.” He paused and took swig of his root beer before continuing.
“Now, should you put the past behind you and stop letting it get to you? Yes. Should you be cordial to Penny and Terrill and show them their betrayal didn’t break you? Damn straight. But getting intimately or emotionally involved with Penny Keys again is a sucker move, baby bro.
Sucker move.
And I can’t let you go out like that.”
Too late.
“Look, I can appreciate your advice, especially given you’re all of two years older than me and have
so
much more wisdom.” Jason couldn’t contain the sarcasm lacing his tone and he didn’t want to. “But my love life is my business.”
“Love life? See, I’m too late. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Why don’t you let me hook you up with someone?”
Jason slanted his eyes. “Now I
know
you know I don’t need any help meeting women.”
Joel grinned. “All right. So why are you getting caught up with Penny again? She’s going back to Los Angeles, right? And who else is in Los Angeles? Let’s say you can forgive and forget what happened between Penny and Terrill, and the two of you start something real, right here and right now. Can you honestly say you’d be cool with her living in Los Angeles with the man who broke you guys up before right there? Yeah, right!”
“It’s time to change the subject. You’ve had your say, almighty big brother of mine.” Jason pushed away from the table. “Gotta get back to work. Some of us have to protect the streets and keep the riffraff at bay.”
“Yeah, one of those cold cases you’re obsessed with might get warm while you’re having lunch. Here’s some more free advice, because I’m feeling kind. A case that has gone unsolved for twenty-plus years probably isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.” Joel chuckled at his own cleverness.
“Oh, go put out a fire. I’ll catch you later. Love you, bro.”
Both stood, hugged and gave each other pounds. No matter how much he and his brothers got on each other’s nerves, they still made a point of hugging each other goodbye and saying I love you. With the dangerous jobs they held, they knew anything could happen and they didn’t want to have their last words to one another be words of anger.
“Later. Love you, too, man.”
Penny didn’t know who was getting on her nerves more—her spoiled, snotty mother or the father who was overindulgent and had taken up permanent residence as Carla’s doormat. It wasn’t so much that he let Carla walk all over him, but he didn’t check her at all.
While Penny could appreciate his whole baby-I’m-back-and-I’m-not-going-anywhere routine, when she added Carla’s sulking I-don’t-care-what-you-do-I’m-not-giving-you-another-chance spiel to the mix, it had all the fixings to drive her crazy and make her willing to do anything to get out of the house.
Anything.
As she sat in the living room, watching the evening game shows with her parents, she sent out a desperate plea into the universe for someone, anyone, to come and save her from the slapstick comedy that her life had become.
She’d never been so pleased to hear a doorbell ring—until she saw it was Jason.
Oh, the tightening of her nipples and the sudden soaking feeling she felt in her panties as she remembered the previous evening signaled she was more than a little happy to see him on one level. But after spending the day going over all the reasons why things would never work between them, and how her mother and his aunt Sophie were right, she wasn’t in his league, he was the last person she needed to see.
“Hi, Jason.”
“Hey. Can I come in?”
Duh
. She was standing there looking like an idiot. The man probably had information about who had attacked Carla.
“Sure. Do you have information about the case?”
“I don’t have any leads yet. It would be so much easier if your mother would just talk.” He shook his head in frustration and added sarcastically, “Oops, I meant regain her memory.” He didn’t believe Carla’s story any more than Penny did.
Penny and her father had both tried to get the truth out of Carla. But the woman wouldn’t budge.
“She still won’t talk. I would say just forget it. But knowing Carla, it could be a very bad situation waiting to blow up.”
“Yeah. Listen, how about you let me take you out to dinner, and I can run some thoughts I have been having about this by you? Maybe something can trigger your memory. And if that doesn’t work, I can always go back to Old Lady Henderson.”
“Old Lady Henderson? Oh, my, that woman had to be the nosiest person on the block. I couldn’t have you over without her telling Big Mama, ‘Penny’s fast behind had a boy in the house.’” Penny chuckled.
“Yeah, she might be crucial to finding out who beat Carla, especially if Carla continues to be difficult.”
“I’m game to do whatever I can to help.” She looked down at her casual light gray linen skirt, which hit just above her knees, and her short-sleeved pink silk shirt. “Should I change?”
He looked her over, his eyes stopping at her legs. “No. You look great.”
“Well, I’ll just go tell the folks I’m leaving and see if Gerald will stay with Carla until I come back.”
Penny walked back to the living room, and Jason followed her.
As soon as they walked in the room, Carla let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. “Aww, Brat! What’re you doing with him? You never listen to me!”
“He’s a nice man, Carla. She could do worse.”
Gerald nodded a greeting to Jason.
“Who asked you? Did anybody ask Gerald?” Carla looked around the room, pretending she was waiting for an answer to her question. “Nope, nobody asked you anything. Mind your business. I know what’s best for my daughter.”
If she wasn’t so annoyed at how rude Carla was being, Penny might have laughed. “I’m going out to dinner with Jason. Gerald, do you mind staying here with Carla until I get back? Make sure she gets some rest and make sure the person she won’t tell on doesn’t hurt her again?”
“I don’t need no babysitter. I just need to be left alone,” Carla huffed.
“Well, you got one, darling, so tough.” Gerald didn’t even look at Carla. He still seemed unfazed by her antics. “Go on and have a nice time. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not going to let any more harm come to your mother.”
“Thanks, Gerald.” Penny sincerely believed the man would fight to the death to protect Carla. She couldn’t understand it, based on the way Carla behaved. But she reasoned it wasn’t for her to understand.
Riding in the SUV with Jason put her in a whole other state of confusion. She knew she was less deserving of kindness from Jason than her mother was from Gerald. Her lies had cost Jason his best friend. And even if she came clean now, it probably wouldn’t change anything. Still, she couldn’t seem to stay the heavy beating of her heart whenever he came around.
Making love to Jason Hightower had to have been the most idiotic thing she had ever done. Yet as she glanced at him driving his SUV in silent determination, she knew without a doubt that she would gladly make love to him again and again.
He kept his eyes on the road, but a slow and sexy smile crossed his lips. “What are you looking at?”
The stalled pitter-patter of her heart noted his smile, and was followed by a tightening of her nipples and a clench in her sex.
“I’m not looking at you.” She cleared her throat and turned to look out the window.
She took in all the changes that had happened in the city since she’d been gone. The entire stretch of Broadway, all the way up to Elmwood Park, was now Martin Luther King Jr. Way. She remembered when only a small section of the main street was named after the slain leader. Back in the day, they used to joke that only the worst part of Broadway was named after King. She wondered what the joke would be now. Did this mean that the entire city had gotten worse?
It didn’t seem as if Paterson was any the worse for wear, at least not to her eyes. So many new buildings had sprouted up, and many of the older ones were gone. But, oddly, it still felt like home.
“You were looking. I could feel it.”
“Well, you must be
feeling
things, then, ’cause I wasn’t.”
“Oh, I’m feeling things, all right. And I intend to feel a whole lot more by the time the night is over.”
She burst out laughing. “You’re still crazy.”
He laughed a little, too, and then his voice went sober. “Yeah, still crazy about you.”
By the sound of his voice, Penny could tell he wasn’t thrilled about having feelings for her. She couldn’t blame him.
They rode the rest of the way up Route 4, listening to the
Quiet Storm
radio programming and letting slow jam after slow jam speak all the emotions neither of them dared to voice.
The Italian restaurant he took her to in Paramus was small and quaint. It was a family-owned business, and it had a classy and intimate appeal. Everything, from the white tablecloths to the candles and the beautiful real floral arrangements on the tables, set the scene for a nice, quiet romantic evening. The smell of lilac, lilies and roses wafted through the air, along with the spicy aroma of tomatoes, garlic, onions and fresh herbs.
After eating their food in relative silence, Penny could no longer take it. If he was having second thoughts about what had happened between them the other night and he wanted a way out, she would give it to him.
When she opened her mouth to tell him he didn’t have to feel obligated to take her out and she understood if he wanted to backtrack, the words refused to come out. Instead, she inquired, “So, how was work?”
“Do you mean, have I come any closer to figuring out who attacked your mother?”
“No…well…I wasn’t talking about that. I was just making small talk.” She grinned. “But have you?”
“No, I haven’t. Tell me, do you remember any of Carla’s old boyfriends? Old Lady Henderson said she’d seen one of Carla’s old boyfriends around the house and she said she’d also seen him the day Big Mama passed. The description she gave seemed to fit your father. But she was adamant it wasn’t him. So do you remember anyone who might fit that description?”
Penny closed her eyes in thought. Carla really didn’t have a lot of boyfriends, per se. And for a lot of Penny’s life, Carla hadn’t been around. Right before she got hooked on the drugs really bad, Big Mama had kicked her out.
A flash of one of Carla’s boyfriends came to mind, and she automatically raised her hand to touch the tiny, now barely noticeable scar on the side of her right eye. She remembered the day she had gotten it.
The man who’d given it to her was the one boyfriend of Carla’s Penny wished she could forget.
She didn’t know his real name. But she could still clearly see his mean snarling face as he’d slapped her in front of Big Mama’s house and she’d hit the pavement. She had gotten a gash over her eye that needed five stitches to heal. She’d only been twelve years old at the time. And she’d had no idea what she had done that was so bad as to make a grown man strike her.
It was enough to make Big Mama tell Carla she couldn’t come around anymore if she was going to bring harm to a defenseless child.
Carla had chosen that man, C-Money, over her own daughter.
Jason watched her rubbing her scar and squinted. He remembered when she’d gotten it. He hadn’t been there at the time, but he’d seen the stitches afterward. He knew it had happened when one of Carla’s boyfriends hit Penny and knocked her to the ground.