Pushing Up Daisies (3 page)

“University…”

Daisy raced down the Staten Island Expressway as rain spattered on the windshield. The slick roads and potholes added to her shakiness. She couldn’t make it to Jasper fast enough. “Lord, please let him be okay,” she prayed as her back tires slid, losing control for seconds, when she exited the expressway onto Lily Pond Avenue.
Let me be okay too,
she continued her plea as she fought to gain control of the vehicle. She chastised herself for acting in haste, for throwing out Jasper’s clothes, for assuming that he was cheating.

She turned into the parking area at top speed. Her heart—her need—wouldn’t allow her to slow. She had to get to him. She pulled into a handicap spot without a second thought. She didn’t need a wheelchair tag; she was the sign, a walking billboard that screamed, “Mentally and emotionally handicapped.” Every bad thought that she could think infiltrated her mind. Stole her sanity.
Please,
she begged God again,
let him be okay.

As she ran toward the ER, the cold, wet cement reminded her that she wore no shoes. She had no purse. The only thing that she carried was worry for Jasper.

“Excuse me,” she asked, pounding on the reception counter to get attention. “I’m looking for Jasper Stevens.”

“Hmm, Stevens. Stevens.” The lady smiled and began searching what Daisy assumed to be an intake sheet.

What the hell is she so happy about? Doesn’t she realize this is an emergency room? Emergencies aren’t funny.

“Is he here?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t see a Jasper Stevens listed. But, then again, they just changed the sign-in sheets. New shift. Let me check in the back for you. What’s your name?”

Daisy waited a small eternity for the woman to return. Three whole minutes. One hundred and eighty ticktocks on the hospital-issued clock.

“We don’t have a Jasper Stevens in the back,” the receptionist said, and followed with a shrug. “I’m sorry…”

“Alright. Thanks.” Daisy clipped her words. Frustration and anger replaced panic and worry as she turned to leave.
Liar—Jasper’s a liar.

“However…”

Daisy did an about-face and looked at the receptionist as she blinked back tears.

“A nurse from the last shift said that we did have a Jasper here earlier. She couldn’t remember his last name, though. He wasn’t her patient.”

Daisy dialed, then spat wildly, frantically into her cell phone, “He’s not at University, Gigi. At least I don’t think so. First they said that they didn’t have a Jasper Stevens registered. Then they said maybe he was there earlier, but weren’t sure. They changed shifts. Goddamn shifts. And wouldn’t you know it, sign-in sheets too.”

“Trust me, he was there, Daisy. The doctor interrupted me and Marcus’s conversation. But that doesn’t matter now. All you should focus on is getting your butt home and picking up his clothes—”

“What?” Daisy asked, switching lanes and frame of mind. The previous night’s alcohol, lack of sleep, and bouncing between hurt, pain, and worry had begun to take a toll. She’d forgotten which face to put on and when. Her mood became like a voice, everyone had two. There was the happy, polite one usually reserved for business, and then the real one.
My problem is that I don’t know what real is anymore.

“Are you listening? Get home! I just got off the phone with Marcus. He wants me to meet him at your house. If he’s on his way there, then Jasper’s on his way too.”

Daisy’s heart raced as she rifled through the coat closet. No raincoat. She yanked the front door open, wincing at the sound of the mirror shattering behind it. She hurried out into the rain and began gathering the sopping clothes.

“What can be saved?” she asked herself frantically. Maybe some of the silks, but the suedes had no hope. Neither did she. What would she tell Jasper?

Once she had gathered all the clothes she could carry, she hurried back inside. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she mumbled, dumping the heavy, wet load onto the floor.

Now for the rest,
she thought with a sigh. She had no idea how she was going to get Jasper’s boxers out of the tree. And she still had to get the shoe from across the street in the neighbors’ yard. What if they’d moved it?

Daisy gave herself a pep talk. She could do it. Had to. She sprinted across the street, feeling the cold wetness of her jeans on her thighs. No shoe to be found anywhere. She got down on her hands and knees, palms sinking into the soggy grass. Finally, she spotted the shoe under the bushes. As she reached for it, the sharp branches tore her skin. Daisy winced in pain, pulling back her hand. Blood trickled down her arm as she held up her wrist to examine her injuries.

Daisy hurried back across the street, retrieving shirts, pants, and socks. After dumping them in the foyer, she went back outside and tried to rip a branch from the rosebush. She had to get Jasper’s boxers next.

She moved under the tree and looked up. There they were, dangling. She counted silently and jumped, swinging the rosebush branch, praying that the boxers would catch on a thorn. No luck. She tried again. The branch snagged the boxers and broke in two.

She gave up for the moment, deciding to get the remaining clothes first. As she ran toward the house with another pile in her arms, the wind blew the front door closed. She came to an abrupt halt, her wet feet sliding on the walkway, and fell face-first in a puddle of mud.

As Daisy lifted her face from the wet, stinking ground, a car door slammed behind her. She turned to find Gigi staring down at her, a smile plastered across her umbrella-shaded face. They both giggled.

Then Daisy’s smile vanished. Jasper’s Escalade had pulled up behind Gigi’s car.

Daisy wanted desperately to run into the house, but the front door was closed and on automatic slam-lock. She looked at Gigi, who shrugged. Not knowing what else to do, Daisy smiled as she saw Marcus getting out from the driver’s side of the Escalade.

“Hey, Marcus,” she said, shaking her head. “What happened? Jasper too tired to drive again? I don’t know why he does it to you.”

Gigi tapped Daisy’s shoulder and pointed toward Jasper’s SUV, which had no other visible passengers. “Marcus, where’s—”

Marcus held up his hand, silencing her. He stood two feet from Daisy, his gaze traveling up and down her body before coming to rest on her partially exposed breasts.

Daisy cleared her throat, then grabbed him under the chin, forcing him to look in her eyes. “Up here, Marcus. My face is up
here!
”

“You better act like you know, Marcus,” Gigi said. “Trifling bastard,” she muttered.

Marcus stood still. Rain was running down his face, drenching his clothes, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was breathing heavily, his eyes blank as they moved over the lawn to the tree. “What happened? I know you didn’t—”

“Where’s Jasper?” Daisy snapped.

“Yeah, Marcus,” Gigi intervened. “Where’s Jasper?”

Marcus wiped a hand over his face and cleared his throat. His eyes were misty, and Daisy suddenly wasn’t sure that it was because of the rain. “Listen, Daisy. I need to talk to you. Jasper—”

“Jasper, who? You mean the bastard who doesn’t come home and sends you to clean up his mess? That Jasper? What about him?” But then Daisy realized that it
was
tears in Marcus’s eyes. They were now running down his face.

“Jasper’s dead,” he choked.

D
aisy gasped, and Jasper’s clothes fell from her grip. But as she stared down at the pile by her feet, she had a revelation. She looked up knowingly at Gigi, then Marcus, and a slight smile came to her face. Jasper wasn’t dead, just trying to wiggle out of a tight situation.

“Oh, Marcus, stop it. Of all the lies and excuses you and Jasper could’ve made up. I went to the hospital, so I know he wasn’t there—”

“You went to University Hospital?” he asked, his eyes focused on the ground. “
Staten Island
University Hospital?”

Daisy nodded, although she knew he wouldn’t see her. She wanted him to look at her, needed to see that his eyes were lying.

“We were at the University Hospital in
New Jersey
—Newark.”

“Yeah, right.” Daisy grinned victoriously. She knew she’d beaten them at their game, and she waited for Marcus’s expression to confirm it. But it didn’t.

Marcus just closed his eyes, and Daisy’s smile faded. She wanted to speak, even scream, but nothing came out. “No,” she finally managed to whisper.
“Please,
God, noooo…” She sank to the ground.

Gigi pulled her up and tried to hug her, but Daisy pushed away. Her heart drummed in her ears, and everything started to fade.

Marcus grabbed Daisy, shook her, and held her face in his hands. “Look at me, Daisy. Please look at me.”

Daisy mustered her strength and opened her eyes. Her heart had never beaten so fast. It raced and pulsed, yet she had no energy. Anxiety was no longer a word or a description for what she had. It
was
her, they were synonymous. Her hands shook uncontrollably as she grasped for hope and grabbed nothing but air. Jasper’s spirit.

“Jasper loved you, Daisy. He told me to tell you that he loves you and he’s sorry…those were his last words.”

Daisy stared at him blindly. “How did he die?”

“He was shot…”

Daisy held her breath, trying to suffocate the ache that blistered through her and caused her soul to twist into knots. She formed her mouth to question how and why Jasper was shot, but couldn’t. Not yet. She had to accept the death first, then deal with the cause. “I’ve lost the biggest part of me,” she whispered as a terrifying loneliness filled her. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to forget what she’d said about Jasper, but the words haunted her.
If I don’t ever see that muthafucka again, it’ll be too soon…I’d kill him.

An intense heat overcame her, and she began to perspire. Daisy bent over, releasing everything she’d consumed. She finally straightened again, shaking her head as she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. “Jay,” she whispered.

“What happened? Tell me, I have to know,” Daisy broke the quiet.

Marcus wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders as she rested her head on his chest. They’d walked for blocks in silence, the early afternoon sun an orange glow in the sky. Daisy dabbed her eyes with a Kleenex. So much had happened. And so quickly. Jasper had kissed her Saturday night, disappeared Sunday, and died early Monday morning.

Marcus turned Daisy to face him. “Daisy, I know this is hard for you, because it’s difficult for me. But I want you to know that you can call on me whenever you need to. Okay?”

“How, Marcus? I know he was shot, but
why
did Jasper die?”

Marcus closed his eyes, sighing heavily. “Jasper died being Jasper. You know how he loved helping people. He was always coming to someone’s aid, putting others before himself.” Marcus paused, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I miss him, Daisy.”

“How, Marcus? Please tell me. Just give it to me straight. I have to know.” Daisy blinked hard, trying to hold back the tears.

“We’d just left the club and were riding down the street, when we thought we heard a baby crying…screaming. It was so intense, Daisy.” Marcus swallowed hard. “I didn’t know what to do. It sounded like a death cry, a painful cry. Jasper was driving and pulled into a parking lot. We both got out and followed the noise. We had to see—” Marcus started crying.

Daisy rubbed his arm. “It’s okay, Marcus.”

Marcus wiped his eyes, collecting himself. “We had to see where it was coming from. In the back of the parking lot, we found a man beating a woman. She was screaming, yelling like I’ve never heard before. It was obvious that everything wasn’t all right, but you know Jasper. He asked anyway.” Marcus paused, shaking his head. “But the lady didn’t answer—the man gave Jasper the only excuse he needed to step in—the man hit her, made her body float through the air like wind. Before I knew it, Jasper was inches from them. The lady begged Jasper not to interfere…” Marcus paused. “I told him that you can’t help those who don’t want to be helped.”

“Jasper didn’t listen, did he?”

“No. I told him to come on, that the lady obviously didn’t want our help. But he wouldn’t listen, Daisy. He grabbed the man and they began to struggle. There was a loud bang, and Jasper fell. The man had a gun. We didn’t know. Jasper couldn’t have known!”

“And you…what did you do? The police?”

“I froze, Daisy! I froze. What kind of friend…no, what kind of
man
did that make me?”

Daisy put her hand to her chest, forcing herself to breathe. “The police, Marcus. What about the police?”

“They came too late. The paramedics came too late. They all came too late.”

Daisy sat on the sofa, rocking from side to side, trying to decipher the blur in front of her. Too many people. Too much talking. Too many “Are you okay?”’s. She closed her eyes, waiting for the Xanax to kick in, wishing it would all go away. She prayed for Jasper to walk through the door. She needed him. Jay needed him. What would they do without him?

Poor, innocent Jay. How was she to tell him that his father was dead? There were no correct words. Death couldn’t be sugar-coated.

“Okay, Daisy?” Gigi patted her back, interrupting her thoughts.

Daisy stared at her.

“Okay?”

“Okay, what?”

Gigi knelt down in front of her, looking into her eyes. “Jay. Where does his friend stay, Daisy? Where did he spend the night? We’ll go get him and make the funeral arrangements. We have to before my aunt does. She’ll do it her way, not Jasper’s.”

“Jasper’s mom? They didn’t speak—”

Gigi sighed loudly. “No one in our family talks to her.”

Daisy nodded. “I know. Anyway, I’ll go get Jay. His first big tournament is this evening. I have to be there. We were supposed to…Jasper and I. It was so important to Jay. To all of us. Somebody can drive me.”

Marcus sat down beside her and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll take care of the funeral arrangements.”

“We have it under control, Marcus,” Gigi said.

“No!” Marcus shouted, then scanned the room as if he were daring everyone—anyone—to go against him. “No. I’ll do it.”

Daisy stared at Marcus and could read the tension on his face as his eyebrows drew close together, almost touching. She’d never seen him so angry, so adamant. “Why, Marcus? Why are you so intent on doing it?”

“I have to,” he spat, and avoided Daisy’s eyes. She knew something was wrong, felt a warning that she didn’t have time to heed. “You don’t understand—I have no choice.” Manly tears spilled from his eyes and he wiped them away as fast as they came.

“What’s your problem, Marcus?” Gigi asked. “Why the sudden urgency?”

“Gigi,” Marcus said slowly, “I can do it. I have to. I promised Jasper before he…”

Gigi turned to Daisy. “Is it okay? Do you mind if Marcus handles the funeral? Because Ming Li and I can—”

“I said I’ll do it, Gigi,” Marcus said. “Damn!”

“All right, Marcus.” Gigi nodded. “But you’re going to explain yourself later—the reason you’re in here carrying on like a fool.”

Ming Li shook her head at Marcus. “It’ll be alright, Daisy. Gigi and I’ll go to Jay’s game with you while Marcus handles everything else. He knows what to do. Let’s hope he does.”

Daisy stepped out of the shower. She hadn’t even wanted to bathe, but Ming Li had insisted that it would make her feel better.

She moved to the mirror, gripping the sides of the sink. She barely recognized herself. Her eyes were puffy, and her nose was red. When she tried to put her toothbrush in her mouth, her lips split from the dryness. She was dehydrated from hours of crying.

She heard a knock on the door, then Ming Li walked in. “You alright in here? Need me to help you with anything?”

“No, thanks. I’ll be okay. Really. You guys can go home if you want. Don’t let me burden you.”

“Daisy, you’re no burden, and we’re not leaving. We’ve made arrangements. So guess what? You’re going to have to put up with us for seven days.” Ming Li paused, a sympathetic smile coming to her face. “And I hate to bother you with this, but Marcus can’t find Jasper’s parents’ number. Gigi doesn’t know it, and her mother’s not home to give it to her.”

Daisy stared at the ceiling, thinking. “I don’t know the number. They were never close. Didn’t call or anything.” Daisy shrugged. “Give me a minute to dress. I’ll check his office. And since you two insist on staying, there are extra house keys in the jewelry box on the chest.”

“Okay. I’ll tell Marcus, so he can start preparing himself. He says he’s never met Jasper’s parents, and he can’t figure out how to tell them that…well, you know.”

“Tell him not to worry. I’ll call them myself.”

“Okay,” Ming Li said. “But if you can’t, you know you don’t have to. I’ll do it for you.”