Pushing Up Daisies (4 page)

Daisy held Jasper’s PalmPilot and stared at his parents’ number. She inhaled deeply, held her breath, and exhaled. She tapped her fingers against her forehead, dreading the call.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Hello, this is Jasper’s girlfriend. I’m just calling to inform you that your son died,’ ” Daisy whispered.
How do you tell someone that they’ve now lost
both
of their twin boys—their only sons? Jonathan and now Jasper too?
As she reached for the cordless phone, a pile of pale-gold-and-navy custom stationery fell to the floor. She smiled faintly, remembering the pleased look on Jasper’s face when she’d had it designed for him three years before.

Daisy paced, cradling the phone, waiting for an answer. But when someone picked up, she hung up. Making the call was going to be harder than she thought. Daisy set the phone down on Jasper’s desk and wiped her damp palms on her jeans. She grabbed the phone and dialed again.

“Hello,” a woman answered.

“Hello, may I speak with Mr. or Mrs. Stevens, please?” Daisy managed.

“This is Mrs. Stevens,” Jasper’s mother said sadly.

“Hi, Mrs. Stevens, this is Daisy—”

“Oh, Daisy. I remember Jasper mentioning your name,” Mrs. Stevens said, sniffling. “You’re the one that my baby…I mean, Jasper, worked with, right? I guess you’re calling about the funeral.”

“Yes, but Jasper and I never—”

“Well…” Mrs. Stevens cleared her throat and blew her nose. “I’m sorry. I just haven’t been able to stop crying since the hospital called and told me that my baby was gone. Lord, rest his soul…the service is going to be here, in Philadelphia, at Greater Baptist. Thursday, at two. You all are welcome and wanted. Please thank everyone in your office for the beautiful flowers that Jasper’s wife and I received.”

“Excuse me, Mrs. Stevens. Did you say Jasper’s
wife?
”

“Yes. Jasper’s wife, Camille—”

Daisy hung up.

She slumped over as grief turned to anger. She’d been used and misled. She had loved a man who had obviously loved someone else. She’d spent so much time loving him that she hadn’t loved herself, had invested so much of herself in him that she’d neglected her own needs, beliefs, and wants. “I knew something was wrong, but I refused to see,” she mumbled.

With a scream, she threw the phone at the wall and ran out of the room. She wanted to disappear, although she was already clearly invisible to those outside of her and Jasper’s immediate circle. His mother didn’t know her, and neither did his coworkers.
I didn’t receive flowers, or even a sympathy card. People don’t send things to no one. I was Jasper’s no one.

Daisy made her way to the guest room, which no one was allowed to enter. She flung the closet door open and dropped to her knees. She opened the small safe and removed the troubling papers. Her daughter’s birth certificate. She rocked back and forth, cradling the document as if it were a baby—the baby she’d given up eight years before.

When she’d visited her parents in California, Daisy had spent so many afternoons watching her from a distance, hearing her call someone else Mom. Lalani would never know Daisy was her mother, but she’d always be her baby.

Daisy collapsed onto her side and curled up in a fetal position. She held her stomach as if someone had kicked her. She’d lost a part of herself because she’d loved too hard.
I hid my baby from you, you bastard. All these years I wanted to go back and get her, and I didn’t because I didn’t want to lose you.

Ming Li ran into the room with Gigi and Marcus trailing right behind. “What’s wrong?”

Gigi sat on the floor beside her. “What happened, Daisy?”

Daisy stared into Gigi’s eyes for truth. “You didn’t know—tell me you didn’t.”

“Know what?”

Daisy shot Marcus an evil look. “You knew, Marcus. Didn’t you?”

Marcus held up his hands.

“What, Marcus? What’s Daisy talking about?” Gigi looked from Marcus to Daisy. “Daisy, tell me.”

Marcus lowered his head. “I wanted to tell you. I just couldn’t…”

Daisy jumped up. “Why? Why couldn’t you tell me? You were my friend too, Marcus. You mean to tell me that you sat in my home, ate my food, and had the nerve to act concerned about me—about Jay—when all along you were lying to me? You know damn well you should’ve told me that Jasper was married!”

“Married?” Gigi and Ming Li echoed in unison.

“Yes, married. Can you believe it?” Daisy said, never taking her eyes off Marcus. “Leave, Marcus. Just leave.”

Marcus turned away, then paused in the doorway. “Daisy, I didn’t mean…Jasper…”

“Out.” Daisy pointed to the door.

Ming Li held Daisy as she cried. They could hear Gigi outside the door, cursing at Marcus.

“What about Jay? What did Jasper’s mom say about Jay?” Ming Li asked.

“Nothing. Didn’t mention him.”

Daisy sat on the bleachers next to Gigi and Ming Li and tried to smile genuinely every time Jay looked at her. Jay was a talented player, taller than the rest of his teammates and clearly more athletic. They were up by ten points, thanks to Jay, and the game was almost over.
Please don’t let the other team catch up.
Daisy was proud and happy for him, glad that she’d decided to let him spend one more night over at his friend’s house and to break the news to him after his tournament. He’d need a pleasant memory to balance the upcoming bad news. Deep down inside, she knew a ball game wouldn’t lighten his pain, but how could she rob him of two loves in one day?

Grinning, Jay ran over to Daisy, holding the ball under his arm. “Hey, Mom! Hi, Ms. Gigi, Ms. Ming Li. Did you guys see me? We whipped them, blew them away. Where’s Dad?”

Daisy had prepared, but she still wasn’t ready. She wrapped her arm around Jay and walked him to the other side of the court. She wouldn’t tell him in front of his teammates. “Hey, you.” She rubbed his head, messing up his hair. “I’m so proud of you. You did a good job—fantastic. I didn’t know you could play like that.” Her eyes grew misty.

“Aw, Mom, don’t start crying. You’re gonna embarrass me.”

“Going to
embarrass me.” Daisy wanted to kick herself for correcting him.

“Going to.
Anyway, I wasn’t that good. But you really think so?” He bounced the ball back and forth between his legs, showing off. “Where’s Dad?”

“He couldn’t make it, sweetie. If he could, he’d be here. You know that, right?” Tears escaped and ran down her cheeks.

Jay stared into Daisy’s eyes. His expression was serious, not one of a child. “Where is he?” he said, his voice cracking.

Daisy hesitated. “Well, remember the talk we had about your real mom? How she loves you even though she’s not here—”

“Dad died?”

Daisy nodded, wiping her eyes.

Jay threw the basketball across the court. “Everybody leaves me! Are you gonna leave me too?”

“Never.”

Ming Li’s dress was hiked up around her waist as she tried to stretch her too short stockings over her long legs. Daisy shook her head and smiled.

“Ming Li, thanks for going. I appreciate it.”

Ming Li straightened her dress. “You don’t have to thank me. I know I said a lot of bad things about him, but he was my friend. We were close once.”

“I know.” Daisy patted her on the back. “I’m going to check on Jay. I’ll meet you downstairs.” She turned to walk out of the room and collided with Gigi.

“God! You scared me.”

Ming Li jumped.

“Sorry. You two ready? Jay’s downstairs waiting.”

“Don’t scare us like that!” Ming Li said with a sigh. “Knock next time, ring the bell or something. You know I’m already nervous. I don’t do funerals.” Ming Li opened her purse, pulled out her flask, and took a swig.

Daisy shook her head.

“What?” Ming Li put her hand on her hip.

“We’re on our way to church, remember?”

“Well, when we get there, let me know, and I won’t have another sip.”

Daisy grabbed her purse. “You two ready? I don’t want to be late.” She headed for the door.

“Okay, but are you sure you want to go?” Gigi asked. “It might just make things worse.”

Daisy turned around, nodding. “I have to go, Gigi. For Jay.”

“And you? Do
you
want to go?”

“No, I didn’t want to. Still don’t, but Jay asked me to, practically begged me to. How could I say no? Besides, seeing is believing. And I need clarity. It’s hard for me to believe he’s dead. It’s even harder for me to believe that he was married. I just want to get a look at his wife and give Jay the opportunity to pay his respects. That’s all.”

“I understand. I’m trying to understand. Just please don’t do anything you’ll regret, Daisy.”

“I already have. I was with Jasper.”

Daisy held Jay’s hand as they entered the church. An attendant directed them to sit in the balcony. She wanted to protest, to inform the attendant that Jay was Jasper’s son, but Jay insisted that he didn’t want to sit among the congregation. Relief coursed through her as she smoothed his wavy hair. The last thing she wanted was to sit among Jasper’s friends and family. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry about it.” She kissed Jay on the forehead, leaving a faint smudge of red lip-gloss. Whispering in his ear, she assured him that he didn’t have to do anything that he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Thanks, Mom. I just don’t know all those people. Who are they?”

Daisy shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll find out…who a few of them are.”